Adventures of Bella and Elizabeth Swann: Women of Magic
Just so you'll know who I am, my name is Elizabeth Swann and I'm a woman of magic. I wear a lovely purple outfit that has pretty frills along the collar, and I wear the coolest sparkly eye shadow, and I have pink and purple fluffy mane-like hair and azure eyes of the deepest turquoise. I live in the loveliest house with my parents and I'm 13 years old by the way, lol. I can sparkle too, and so can my sister Bella, but she's just so popular with all the guys. But hey, YOLO. Anyway, I'd better tell you how I became a Woman of Magic! Anyway, I was waking up one day when I heard an explosion and saw Piper McLean's guts hit my window. SPLOP! they crunched sloppily as they slid down and onto the grass. But hey, she was annoying anyway, and nowhere as special as I am, so there. Everyone hated her because she was miss goody two-shoes and all of that. Like, hated her real bad. Magikarp had blown her up with a blasting boom from a boom cannon, and it was like, real awesome. I grinned happily and gazed at my gorgeous face in the mirror that had a poster of Orlando Bloom attached opposite it on the other wall so that I could see his dreamy face every time I looked at my own. I could almost see the picture smiling back at me as I dabbed my hazel and ebony lipstick onto my lips because I love it and its real cool, so there. Did I mention Roy G. Biv is my boyfriend? And I'm best friends with Buffy and Appa, and my pet's name is Jackson the Green Rabbit. Anyway, I was with Erector the Autobot cause he's like, my best friend ever for the win! And anyway, we were, like, watching TV and it was Titanic, the greatest movie ever! Because it has Leonard di Caprio in it, and he's so dreamy, but not as dreamy as Orlando Bloom. And Erector said "I love you, will you go on a date with me?" and I was like "ewwww, no way!" But suddenly, after talking for a while about how I had unfairly chosen Red John over him, which isn't true, he grabbed a chainsaw. He was going to kill me!"AAAAAAAHHHH!" I screamed. "Somebody help me!" "I'll save you" somebody cried outside. It was Jeremiah the Bullfrog, and he'd brought Louis Vuitta and a T-800 Unit from Terminator with him. "Ha, they'll save me from you, you evil jerk!" I cried angrily. "Don't bet on it" Erector shouted and he said: "Tingle! Destroy them!" "Oh no!" I screamed. It was Tingle. How would they save me now?
To be continued?