House,

You can put the bottle back in the cabinet: it won't do you any good today. Give up your pills, flush them away in the sink. Now sit down, my friend, and get some rest. Close your eyes so you won't see the empty room and just listen to the sounds coming from the shore, beyond the window. Hold your breath so you won't smell the medicine.

You see, it's not that difficult. It's not that hard. It's just the way life goes, and takes us with the stream. You have reached your refuge, you're safe here: it's where we stayed and faced it all, the pain, the doom and the hope that we would find a meaning. The meaning was there all along and even though you cannot see it, it's there now, despite me gone.

The truth in this, the hardest verity, is that we were always fine, as good as it could get, in-between our little tragedies, in-between the mistakes we both made.

It took some working out, some giving in, some back-and-forth, some old good punch-up. But all in all the building held, through thick and thin. And you always thought, despite my own endless failures, that you were the one who needed me the most, that I was there to keep you from falling apart. Whereas, my friend, truth be told, with you gone I would have let go sooner, fallen down harder, cried louder and smiled less.

Now rest your mind for a bit, get some sleep and let your sorrow drift away, free your dreams. I won't call for you tonight, I won't search for your hand in the dark to bring a wet towel to my forehead. I won't ask for nothing else than for you to let me watch over you. If there is a place and time where we all go, then we shall meet again. And if by any chance some part of me gets unlocked and lifted away from my failing body, I will be there for you to find me again, when you need my word and my guidance. If not, let the memory of what we were be your guiding light, let me be the voice you hear when you want an answer. You said you wouldn't let me "just die": let me live in your mind, let me be your friend once again when you need me.

I swear to you if there had been a way to write this to you more lightly, to convey these feelings the way I wanted without being overly sentimental, I'd have exploited it. Maybe it's just me approaching a time of my life where the ends meet and the picture gets completed, and it's making me more serious and my thoughts heavier. But for once in my ending time I want to be straightforward to you, as you have always been to me: I want to be myself with you even though you might feel this awkward or just plain stupid, since I'm gone and there's no coming back. But no one would have done for me what you did, and even though I hope this was just one of your reasons to walk out of that burning warehouse, I cannot think of another friend like you and I love you for taking the time to change your plan and be with me till the very end, even though I know how painful this was for you all the way through my disease.

Live, my friend, as if I'm by your side, and you will never feel alone in the world. Find love and find peace: you deserve them both because you have fought the good fight when it was time to do so.