Hello my beloved readers sorry I broke my promise I got sick at the last minute. So to apologize I wrote you guys a new story. This is my Diary but I replaced me and others with FMA characters but don't worry practically it has the same story line . So without further ado the story.

7\7\13 day:1 chapter:1 shadow day

Dear Diary….

" It's eating me up and devouring my soul I thought cutting myself with glass and seeing my blood spill would ease the pain and all my guilt but it only made things worse. Running away was never an option I'm to much of a cowered to break these heavy painful chains. To everyone I'm not alone I'm not alive they ignore me and talk about me behind my back. my life is true purgatory."

7\8\13 day:2 chapter:2 Twisted

Dear Diary….

" My family has always hated me especially my dad. I grew my hair long so I can hide my sorrow I got bangs so I can cover my eyes when I cry. I love my dad of course he may say he loves me to but those are lies I can see write through. When I'm alone I cry in my pillow and try to find ways to commit suicide."

7\9\13 day:3 chapter:3 No soul

Dear Diary…

"I think … I think I'm soulless I don't care about death or anyone else after a long time now when I start crying I have exactly no feeling when I cry tears just run down my face. I act tuff so no one will bully me like they already do. I never let anyone get to close to my heart and soul. Because I fear they may freeze to death. I cant kill another I cant make them cry."

7\10\13 day:4 chapter:4 denial

Dear Diary…

"NO IT ISN'T TRUE! It cant be is it really my fault? It is my dad left my mom because of me I hated my dad. So….. I WISHED HE'D JUST LEAVE! And now he's gone I'm the reasons mom is going through hell. Why do I deserve to live if I'm only going to hurt people. IM SOOO SORRY MOM!… Why don't I just die"

7\11\13 day:5 chapter:5 maybe just maybe?

Dear Diary…..

"I was walking to school like always. When I sat in the lunch room and began to draw some transmutation circles. The same girl had been watching me for days said " that's alchemy right?" I was so shocked someone actually talked TO ME!. All I could do was nod my head. I'm so dumb "how is that all I can do. But she still got really happy and said "really I'm trying to lean a little of that for medical purposes can you teach me alchemy" I said sure for once I was actually happy. But sadly at that moment the bell rang. She grabbed my arm which hurt because of my cuts but I didn't let it show she said "teach me something new tomorrow ok!" I just nodded again. That night I never forgot those beautiful blue eyes and that amazing blond hair. *Blushes*. Can I actually be in love!?"

7\12\13 day:6 chapter:6 a new life

Dear Diary….

"That girl talked to me again today. We only talked about alchemy . She asked the questions she didn't know and I answered them. She didn't know a lot of things that I did. She said "It's because art lessons and I have to train in modeling automail. I said "suuure" in a playful voice I have never done that before. She had blushed and said " IM NOT KIDDING" we both broke out laughing we didn't care if everyone was giving us a look we were having fun. I've never really had fun before. I could tell this was the start of something new"

7\13\13 day:7 chapter:7 envy

Dear Diary….

"I envy my brother he has everything I don't. Yet he hates his life I wish I was him. He has such a girlfriend who's so sweet. He got looks and he has such a good personality. I love my brother more than anything….I would die for him because he was the only one who treated me right. But I envy him more than anyone else in the whole entire world. This proves god isn't real to put an inisent child through all this hell. But I thank you for that one light."

7\14\13 day:8 chapter:8 Alone

Dear Diary….

"It's happening again I'm alone. My mom yelled at me for getting a "C" on my report card in gym. Its not my fault I had to beat so many kids up they were beating down on me. So my mom forced me to stay home again…. While my brother and her went out to celebrate my birthday. So now I'm cutting myself in the dark crying my eyes out. I could tell I was bleeding pretty bad because I was feeling tons of red liquid running down my arm and my I started to get dizzy well at least my arm finally went numb I stopped crying. And the world in my eyes died. I hate my mom."

7\15\13 day:9 chapter:9 I always loved her

Dear Diary…

"NO! PLEASE NO! tell me this isn't real please be another nightmare. DON'T TAKE HER AWAY TO! This is my fault mom "I'm sorry" Is what my mom said. "No don't be sorry" is what I whispered to her. But she said she wasn't talking to me. She turned to my brother and said "Al my dear I'm sorry I couldn't come to your wedding" I still love my mom even if she did this to me. Mom this is my fault. PLEASE TAKE MY LIFE INSTEAD OF HER'S. I have no meaning anyway. Please take me not her. God I can never forgive you."

6\2\10 day:10 chapter:10 The last thing I heard

Dear Diary…

"Why didn't he see my mom was a changed women so why doesn't he come back. I love him but I overheard a talk with him and his buds. He still has feelings for his "X" . but why my mom and dad looked like they were getting along I guess that was also an illusion. Cant you see she still loves you more than the world he is her world. I miss the fool table and that family portrait. That was my favorite photo I can never forget it. But if this makes dad happy then ok.

well yea that was the first chapter hope you like it if you want more review and say so. These are all events in my life real thoughts and feelings but I'm a boy in here and all the real people have been replaced with fma characters. I want to show all those people who are in the pits of despair that there is hope. This is how I developed over the years to the person I am know. GOODBYE ALL MY LOVELY READERS. Please review fav. And follow if you want.