Alright so here's a little background information for ya. My name's Britta Nodottir and I grew up on Agard. I'm a Halfling, the secret love child of a Light Elf and one of Frigga's own handmaids. I was trained in magic alongside Loki Odinson and became known as the Goddess of Tricks and Thieves pretty early on in life. I became close friends with the princes of Asgard and would have sacrificed my life for them had they asked. I made a huge mistake when I was young which resulted in the Tesseract getting flung to Earth both for safekeeping and to keep it out of my now crazed hands. I made another huge mistake, yes I know I should have learned my lesson, about two thousand years ago and fled to Midgard. Been camped here ever since.
Okay now that you know a bit about me I can go ahead and tell you my insanity filled story. It all started when my past came back to bite me in the butt. Bringing with it the Tesseract, my two favorite princes, a team of super secret spies, and a whole lot of crazy.
The sound of someone's foot hitting the floor in what was considered silently on Midgard woke me up. I had amazing senses, elven senses which were sharper even than an Asgardians, and I was the Goddess of Tricks and Thieves so I knew sneaky. On Asgard that footfall would have been considered audible at the very least. Midgardians simply had no clue how unevolved they were, how dull their senses were.
I rolled onto my back on my bed and listened carefully. There were more footfalls and I realized the person was moving towards my room. I stared at my ceiling in confusion; burglars wouldn't go for the bedroom. They'd stay in my way too classy for an apartment living room and steal the many things in there that I could immediately replace. That fact coupled with the person's thoughts made me realize this wasn't a robbery. Yes I read the person's mind, sue me. If someone broke into your home you would too. They weren't thinking too much anyways, focusing almost completely on finding me and being quiet.
The doorknob slowly began turning and I rolled my eyes, even that noise sounded loud to me. As the door slowly opened, silent because I hated creaky hinges, I teleported out of my room. I reappeared lounging on my La-Z-Boy, my legs draping over one arm while the other dug somewhat uncomfortably into my back. I propped my head up with one hand, placed my other hand on my stomach, and looked extremely bored at the man sneaking into my room.
"You should blast him to pieces." Grid, one of the voices in my head, said furiously. She was a cruel thing, made from the darkest parts of my mind, and she was always suggesting that I do horrible things to people. She was the one that fought for control of my mind the most, trying to become the main person in my head.
"Or trip him. Tripping works too." Nanna suggested. She was the other voice in my head that I liked a whole lot better. She was made of the lightest parts of my mind and I adored her. She was kind of like a child living in my head and she only ever took over control when I needed a break from reality.
I rolled my eyes at both of them. "Guys I'm not blasting him and I'm not tripping him. I'm going to mess with him." I informed them angrily. The man stood in my doorway, staring at my empty room in confusion. I put on an extremely nonchalant expression before loudly clearing my throat. The man spun around instantly, pointing his gun directly at my chest. He was trying to hide his surprise but it wasn't working. "You know, if you're going to break into the house of the Goddess of Thieves you should really be more quiet." I told him lazily, not even a little worried about the weapon pointed at me.
The man's expression suddenly became emotionless but I was the Goddess of Tricks, I could see through the masks people put on. The mind reading helped me see behind the walls they put up in their heads too so no secret was safe from me. That was one reason I wasn't trusted because I could learn your darkest secrets simply by accident. This man was no exception; I could see he was still surprised and incredibly cautious of me.
"Tell me your name." The man told me. When I just kept staring at him lazily he cocked his gun. I watched him aim it straight between my eyes and I felt my two little thought buddies stir furiously in my head. Both of them wanted me to attack the guy now. Nanna was mad because she loved me but Grid was mad because she needed my body to live and it couldn't be damaged. "Now." The man ordered me.
"Point your gun at the ground." I ordered the man. Immediately, the man did as I told him. He looked up at me in confusion but I stared at him emotionlessly. "Put the gun on safety, remove the magazine, and pop the one in the chamber. Once that's done place the gun on the ground and kick it beneath the couch." I said calmly. The man did as I told him but he looked shocked now, like he couldn't believe what was happening. Once he had kicked the gun beneath the couch I looked apologetically at him. "I'm sorry about that. I hate controlling people's minds but the voices in my head were getting extremely ticked at you. They would have taken control over me eventually if you kept that gun on me and, trust me, you'd rather deal with me than them." I told him. The man took a deep breath, regaining his composure, and I heard him think that he'd dealt with weirder. "Please, sit down. That's a request too, I'm not in controlling your head anymore. I only do it in dire situations." I told him.
Surprisingly the man did as I asked, sitting down on the couch and facing me. He wasn't much to look at, just a face in the crowd, but there was something intriguing about him. He held out his hand. "Phil Coulson." He said, introducing himself. I stared at him in surprise and kept my hands near me. The man smiled slightly. "My apologizes about earlier. Orders are orders and I was told to treat you as a potential threat. I'm realizing now that that's not exactly the way to go with you." He said, keeping his hand outstretched.
Knowing I'd regret it, I took the man's hand and shook it. "Britta." I told him simply, not giving him a last name cause I didn't have one and I highly doubted he'd get the whole Nodottir thing. "I'm guessing you're looking for me." I said, pulling my hand back.
"Yes, we are." Coulson answered, nodding.
"We?" I asked, my alarms going off. I listened carefully for any sound of people outside my apartment but there was nothing. I could hear them outside though, waiting on the streets for something to happen. They were all thinking that Coulson could very easily get me out of there without me escaping but they were still nervous I'd come flying out of a window or something. I focused my eyes on Coulson again, glaring at him. "Why is there a whole team of people on the road ready to attack me?" I practically growled at him.
Coulson hid his surprise well. "Impressive. How did you know?" He asked. I just kept glaring at him, deciding if I was going to get attacked I wasn't going to give him a single answer. He sighed and smiled at me apologetically. "They're a precaution. We don't exactly know whose side you're on." He told me.
"Whose side I'm on?" I asked, sounding innocently confused even though I knew exactly what he was talking about.
Yesterday I'd kind of destroyed half of a Walmart I had broken into for a bit of fun. Since I was connected to the Tesseract I'd experienced some of what was happening to it at all times. When it started opening a portal to space my vision had been replaced with what it was seeing. I'd seen Loki, one of my dearest and most trusted friends, come through the portal before I was bungeed back into my own body. I'd found myself on the floor surrounded by debris, the Tesseract energy that came off of me having blown up the area in one big blast at the same time the portal opened. I'd teleported out of there immediately, not wanting to get questioned or found.
"I think you know what I'm talking about." Coulson told me, smiling a little. I glared again, not liking my own lies being found out. "Some of our agents were monitoring changes in energy around the world and they found you when you had your little episode. You were giving off the same energy as the Tesseract, a device you obviously must know about." He said. I let out a humorless chuckle, thinking he had absolutely no clue just how much I knew about the thrice accursed thing. "Lucky for us you yourself have a very unique energy signature that we were able to save into our computers before you left the area. We ran a global search for your energy and found you here." Coulson said.
"I wouldn't be calling yourself lucky." I told him seriously. The Tesseract's magic pulsed once inside me with each heartbeat, this time staying at the same dull intensity instead of growing like yesterday. I clenched my fists, hating myself for ever messing with the stupid thing. "Bad stuff happens to me all the time. Something horrid is gonna happen sooner or later with me around and you're going to regret ever finding out my name." I said, staring at him emotionlessly.
Coulson nodded and I heard him think that something bad had already happened. I felt bad for him though I had no clue what he meant by that. Had something happened after Loki showed up? Or was Loki showing up the bad part? I couldn't see how it could be, Loki was pretty much harmless. "Duly noted but I need you to come with me." He said, standing up.
Grid pushed to the front of my head before I could stop her. I immediately threw an appearance changing spell at her, letting Coulson know this wasn't me. "As what? A prisoner?" She spat at him, jumping to her feet. Coulson stared at her in surprise. "I'd love to see you try and get me." She told him.
Growling furiously, I shoved Grid back into her proper place. I placed a fist to my forehead, pressing down to stop the headache starting to form. I removed the spell too, returning to my usual appearance. "Sorry about that." I told Coulson apologetically. Grid growled in my head, spitting insults at me. Nanna told her to shut up and I growled again, unable to tolerate the headache their arguments always gave me. "Grid likes to fight people. I do too but not as much as her. None of us like the idea of being a prisoner either." I told him.
"Your appearance changed." Coulson told me. Grid rolled her nonexistent eyes and Nanna chuckled a little. I had to remind them that it wasn't normal for mortals to see someone change into someone else.
I nodded, rubbing my knuckles against my head. "Yeah, I thought it would be a good idea. She's not me and I didn't want you to think that I was snapping at you." I told him. I fell back into my La-Z-Boy, letting out a deep tired sigh. "I don't want to be a prisoner." I said, closing my eyes.
Coulson chuckled and I knew he was smiling. "I doubt we could actually keep you prisoner." He said.
"True." I said, laughing a little. I looked up at him and grinned. "I could just make you guys let me go if I needed to. Hel, I could make a crowd of people do the chicken dance without difficulty." I told him. A wicked grin spread across my face and Nanna laughed eagerly in my head. "I might do that now. Next time I'm out, I'll make everyone wearing the color blue in a store do the chicken dance." I said cheerfully, already picturing it in my head. Even Grid laughed at the idea, mostly because she thought it would somehow be cruel. I rolled my eyes at her but kept grinning.
Coulson laughed and offered me his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. "I'm sure that would be hilarious." He assured me and I nodded eagerly. He smiled and walked over to his discarded magazine. "I was told to bring you in as a consultant of sorts. You obviously must have knowledge of the Tesseract and we want to know what you know. It'll help immensely with the threat we're facing." He told me as he picked up the magazine. He pointed to beneath the couch. "Can I grab my gun?" He asked.
I shrugged. "Why not? You won't be able to shoot me." I told him. Coulson smiled and knelt down, reaching beneath the couch. I watched him carefully as he retrieved the gun and put the magazine back in, double checking to make sure it was still on safety as he did. "What type of threat is it?" I asked curiously. I had already decided to go with him, simply so I could get the Tesseract myself and keep anyone from messing with it further, but I wanted to know what I was going to have to deal with while I stole the stupid cube.
Coulson looked up at me, staring at my face carefully. "His name is Loki. He's trying to take over the world." He told me.
I couldn't help it, I let out a loud disbelieving laugh. "You've got to be kidding me!" I said through my laughter, clutching my sides. Coulson stared at me like I was insane which I was. Slowly my laughter died and I was able to breathe a little. I wiped a tear from my eye and grinned up at Coulson, chuckling slightly. "Loki? Seriously? He's the threat?" I asked in disbelief. Coulson nodded and I started laughing again, shaking my head. "I can't believe it. Harmless trickster Loki is trying to take over Midgard. Dear Odin that's rich." I said, grinning.
"Harmless? He's killed around eighty people already." Coulson said, staring at me in shock.
I stared at him for a moment, my grin slowly slipping off my face as confusion appeared on my face. I shook my head, not believing him. "No, Loki would never do that." I said defiantly, picturing the boy I'd grown up with. He'd been a jokester, my main source of entertainment in Asgard. One of my best friends. "I know Loki, he's harmless. He's a prankster nothing more." I insisted, though now that I thought about it I didn't really know Loki anymore. I'd been gone two thousand years; I don't know how much he's changed. "Hel, I'm more likely to take over the world than him." I said, trying to convince myself now.
"I have a feeling he's changed since you saw him last." Coulson said, walking towards the door. He stopped beside it, hand on the doorknob. I was still rooted to the ground, trying to imagine what could have possibly messed up Loki so much that he'd tried to take over this world. "Are you coming?" Coulson asked me.
I looked over at him, debating now. The Tesseract shouldn't be in human hands, it had messed up an Asgard for Odin's sake and it had already murdered a mortal. Some man with a severely disfigured red head who was fighting this guy in a skin-tight suit. I'd been in so much pain then, it was the first time the Tesseract had ever opened a portal to space with me connected to it. That thing was so damn dangerous, no mortal should ever have it which meant the Asgardian that put all of them in danger had to take it from them. Me. Still, hearing that the threat was Loki made me think twice. If Loki had taken the Tesseract I doubted I could fight him for it. Hurting Loki…dear Odin just the thought of it made me sick. Even as kids I'd been so careful not to hurt him when we'd play fight. But I loved this world; Midgard was such a wonderful place despite all the evil on it. I couldn't let Loki take over it if that's really what was happening.
"Give me ten minutes. I'm gonna change and pack." I answered finally. Coulson nodded and leaned against the wall, showing that he'd wait. I nodded my thanks before rushing into my room and practically slamming the door shut.
I used magic to pack, not wanting to waste any of the ten minutes I had to prepare. Once basically all of my things were packed into a very heavily enchanted suitcase I walked over to my mirror and stood in front of it. It had been a long time since I'd stared at my reflection and I thought I might as well do it now, just so I knew what the people I was going to meet would be seeing. Like always, I was shocked by my appearance and I wondered why people didn't stare at me with their jaws dropped every time I walked outside.
Asgardians don't look that different from mortals. They do have a certain feel about them though that can tip you off they're more than human but that's it. Unfortunately though I'm not a full blooded Asgardian. I'm half Light Elf which means I don't look entirely human and even less so with the Tesseract magic in me.
Light Elves are naturally gorgeous, fairer than the sun itself. Halflings are just as fair. I was slender despite my immense strength with graceful curves. I was a bit short, slightly smaller than the average Asgardian but a bit taller than the average Midgardian. My facial features were soft, elegant. They made you think of royalty, of a higher living. My ears poked out slightly and you could very clearly see the slight point at the end of them. My hair, which could reach all the way down to my hips if I didn't cut it every week, was a startling snow white. My eyes though, those were the things I was surprised the mortals never saw. They had once been a gorgeous pale grey but now they were bright blue, Tesseract blue. I missed the color my eyes used to be, I missed life before my huge mistakes.
Sighing, I snapped my fingers. Now instead of a silk nightgown I was wearing comfortable underwear, tight fitting designer jeans, a near skin-tight Halloween shirt that read Bad to the Bone, and some black high tops. Another snap of my fingers and my hair was done up in a tight braid that I instantly threw over my shoulder. I looked myself up and done, deemed myself public appropriate even though I looked like a really freaky twenty two year old, and grabbed my suitcase. I left my room and zoomed by Coulson, leaving my apartment before I could think too much about it.
"That was barely five minutes." Coulson said, following after me.
I shrugged like it was no big deal. "Magic. It's freakin' awesome." I answered, walking down the stairs to the lobby. A whole team of men in black suits were waiting just outside my apartment building, their hands poised over their guns. They all looked shocked when I walked out of my own accord instead of Coulson dragging me or carrying my unconscious body. I chuckled at their surprise and then blushed deeply when their thoughts turned to my appearance. I instantly threw up a wall between me and their thoughts but I still heard plenty. "I'm warning you now boys." I said loudly, following Coulson to a black car. "I can read minds and I just heard every last bit of what you were thinking. Please, refrain from pervy thoughts okay?" I said.
Coulson laughed as he opened the car door for me, letting me slip in. He shut it before walking over to the other side of the car and climbing inside. "Their faces are bright red." He told me once the door was shut.
"I would hope so. Phil, you would have hit them upside the head for the thoughts running through their heads." I said, laughing a little.
"Well if you ever feel uncomfortable with their thoughts you can tell me. I'll personally take care of it." Coulson assured me, not making any comment about me calling him Phil. He was smiling slightly and I wanted to listen to his thoughts and find out why but I suddenly had a great amount of respect for him so I didn't.
I grinned, leaning back into the seat. "That won't be necessary. I can block out their thoughts most of the time." I told him, closing my eyes. I felt the car start moving and took a deep breath. I got car sick so easily even after roughly two hundred years of riding around in the things. I wished Midgardians still rode horses.
"Only most of the time. Sometimes you can't help but hear them." Nanna pointed out annoyingly.
"Only when everyone is having super intense thoughts or feelings. Passing thoughts, fleeting feelings, I can ignore those." I reminded her. We hit a bump and I let out a groan, nausea rolling around in my stomach. "In Odin's name I swear someday I'll bring riding horses back into style." I mumbled causing Coulson to let out an amused but kind of confused chuckle.
Grid growled in my head. "If you get sick I swear I'll give you a headache for a month. I will not have us getting embarrassed like that." She told me furiously.
Nanna shoved Grid a little. "Stop being mean. You don't like cars either." She said angrily.
Grid shoved Nanna back, snarling. "Only because I have to share the same stomach as Britt and she gets sick in these things." The meaner voice said furiously. I groaned placing a fist to my forehead and digging my knuckles into my skull. "Oh and Nan if you ever shove me again it'll be the last thing you ever do."
"Touch her and I'll never let you have control for even the briefest second ever again." I threatened.
Thankfully, that shut Grid up. Nanna started going on about weird things though and I briefly wished Grid would shove her to shut her up. Then I remembered I could do that myself and I did, silencing her as politely as I could with a somewhat gentle shove. The pain in my head increased though now that both of the voices in my head were angry. I seriously felt like I was going to throw up with the pain in my head and in my stomach mixing.
"You okay?" Coulson asked so suddenly that I jumped.
I opened one eye long enough to see his troubled expression. "No." I grumbled, wrapping an arm around my stomach and digging my fist even harder against my forehead. "I've got car sickness, the voices in my head won't shut up, my life's getting ripped apart. It kind of sucks eggs." I told him.
"I'm sorry." Coulson said, sounding sincere. I smiled a little, thankful that someone cared, then groaned as we hit another bump. "I can't do anything about the last two but once we reach Brooklyn we'll be switching to a jet. We're picking someone up there." He said. I heard a note of excitement in his voice and figured the person we were going to pick up was a big deal.
"Sweet. How far away is Brooklyn?" I asked.
"We're in Queens so I'd say roughly thirty five minutes." Coulson told me.
I let out a loud obnoxious groan that Coulson chuckled at. "I'm going to die." I informed him. Coulson chuckled again and I frowned, wondering if my illness was foreshadowing the events to come.