Author's Note:

This is my first Star Trek fic, so go easy on me. I'm sorry if it seems OOC, I tried my best. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

I don't own anything, if I did, I'd be the happiest girl in the world. I only own this crazy imagination of mine.

Finally, thank you Runell, because without you well one, I wouldn't be uploading this, and two, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. Thanks for editing this, even though I know you root for the Spones team... Oh well...


"This is the captain. As we start saying our goodbyes, I'd just like to say a few words." Kirk paused and looked around at the bridge. Everyone was in their place for what could be the last time. The mission was over. People would most likely retire, be promoted, be transferred to other ships, or even leave Starfleet entirely to do something else. Kirk didn't know who he'd see again and who he'd end up working with next. For once in his life, this uncertainty scared him. Why? His eyes rested on his first officer at his station and suddenly felt his stomach drop. That's why… Spock's why. The uncertainty of whether he'd ever see his first officer, no, his best friend again scared him more than anything at the moment.

"Over these past five years I'd like to believe we've come together as a crew, as friends and successfully kept this ship running. You've all contributed in some way and for that I have to thank you. From the Medical Bay to the Engineering room, everyone has played an important role and believe me, it does not go unnoticed." Another pause. "I'd like for us to take a moment and remember and commemorate these of our friends who didn't make it with us here today. They played an equally important role on the Enterprise and they will not be forgotten as we carry them in our hearts as we disembark the ship.

"Thank you all for your hard work and dedication. May your lives bring only the best for each and every one of you and hopefully our lives will cross once again. I'd like to personally say goodbye and thank all of you. So thank you, a captain could never have asked for a better crew. Captain James T. Kirk out." He ended the transmission and closed his eyes for just a moment to take it all in. He was disrupted by the sound of applause coming from the entire bridge. He couldn't help but smile. These people had grown to be his family in the past five years and he felt like the luckiest man in space because of it.


Kirk was still saying goodbye to the last of the crew members as they left the ship. Lieutenant Uhura approached her captain, tears welling in her eyes. He smiled as she extended her hand to give him a very formal handshake. He pulled her into a hug.

"Oh c'mon Uhura, you know me better than that. Someone as special and beautiful as you deserves more than a handshake." She laughed.

"Thank you Captain, for everything…"

"No, thank you Lieutenant, I mean it. Thank you for mothering us on the bridge and keeping us in line." He smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

"Of course, Captain." She smiled and with that walked away.

Chekov approached his captain, Sulu following shortly after.

"Ensign, you more than anyone deserves a thank you for your work." He smiled at the man he still thought of as a kid. He was certain he'd be moving up in rank. The kid deserved it.

"Thank you Captain, for giving me a chance." The young man responded in that thick accent, shaking his captain's hand.

"You too, Mr. Sulu. You've made my work significantly easier while having you on the bridge." The man smiled at his captain, a man he respected, and shook his hand firmly.

"Thank you, sir."

Scotty and McCoy came up to him next. He hugged both men almost automatically.

"Do you know what you'll be doing next Captain?" Scotty asked in that thick accent of his.

Jim shrugged. "Hopefully, another starship…as soon as possible." He grinned, knowing he wouldn't be happy anywhere else, but in space. He had known that since he was child.

"I wouldn't doubt it, Jim." Bones replied.

They talked for awhile about what each man wanted to do, where they'd go to have a drink together next, and as always enjoying each other's company. Jim couldn't help notice that Spock was nowhere to be seen.

"Well I know I'll be seeing both of you around." Jim said. "You both know how much gratitude I have towards each of you." Both men smiled and nodded. He knew that if he ever needed anything, they'd be there for him. Always. As they walked away, Jim couldn't help but stop the doctor.

"Bones, you haven't seen Spock, have you?"

"The pointy-eared hobgoblin's probably off logically packing his belongings or boring anybody left on the ship to death." The doctor responded with a snicker.

"Bones…" Jim rolled his eyes and responded all too anxiously. His friend caught it.

"No Jim, I haven't seen him." He raised an eyebrow. "Anxious to say goodbye?" He teased.

"Oh, shut up." Jim walked away briskly.

"What's got him all wired up?" Scotty asked after the sudden change in attitude in his captain.

Bones smirked. "A Vulcan. What else?" the two men left the ship.

Rather than walking to his quarters as he had planned to do, Jim decided he needed to be in the bridge one last time. He wanted to sit in his chair one last time. He wasn't ready to leave this ship. He found the bridge dark and powered down. He walked over and sat down on his chair, absorbing the feel of it for what could be the last time. He closed his eyes and sighed. This made him happy. He thought about all the stars outside of his ship, the space that was still out there, waiting to be discovered. He wanted to be there, to be there with his friends, with his Spock…. Spock. What did Bones mean when he asked if he was anxious to say goodbye? He couldn't know. Jim had worked so hard to keep what he felt for Spock under wraps pretty much since he met the man. He considered going to look for his First Officer, but realized he wouldn't have to when he heard the familiar swooshing of the door behind him He didn't turn. He knew everyone else was off board.

"I didn't think anyone else was left on the ship." Jim said, still looking forward.

"I was just…packing up my belongings, Captain." Was that hesitation he heard in Spock's voice?

"You had that much to pack?" he turned his head to look at him.

"No," the Vulcan said simply, avoiding a lie.


Spock didn't answer. He walked down and stood beside the captain's chair.

"You will miss it, will you not, Captain?"

Jim turned his face forward, sighing. "Yeah Spock, I will. Being here, being with the crew, being with you…" Jim finished quietly. Had he said too much? Had he slipped from the control he's kept on his feelings for the past five years. Shit.

Spock held his breath after hearing his captain's though. He didn't mean to read his mind, Jim's thoughts just suddenly invaded his mind. He couldn't mean what he desperately wanted his captain to mean. That would be illogical.

"Well Captain, thank you for a successful mission. It has been a pleasant five years."

"Spock, don't thank me," he paused, looking at the Vulcan "and it's Jim." He smiled that glorious smile that could melt anyone into a warm puddle of happiness. Everyone fell for that smile and Spock was no exception.

"It's only logical to thank you Jim. You've given me the only real friendship I've had in my life. I will forever be grateful for that." Jim didn't know what to say, the sincerity in Spock's eyes mesmerizing him and left his throat drive. I don't want to lose you. Spock couldn't help but smile, well as much as he'd allow himself to, but Jim knew. He could notice the slight smile that spread across the Vulcan's features. You'd never lose me, Jim.

"Spock, are you smiling?" Jim raised an eyebrow, curiously. Immediately, Spock's expression returned to its normal seriousness.

"No, Captain."

"I told you," he stood up and turned his face to his First Officer. "It's Jim, you are no longer on duty." Spock nodded, distracted slightly by the small amount of distance between his captain. He held his hand out.

"Thank you Captain. It's been a pleasure to serve under your command."

Jim took his hand and shook it. A pleasure, indeed.

"Spock, you know I couldn't have done it without you."He saw something in the other man's eyes. Either he was seeing and hearing things today or he was going downright crazy. He slowly pulled his hand away, running his fingers lightly against Spock's, not quite wanted to let go. What Jim didn't expect was the small little gasp that escaped Spock's lips. Jim frowned and looked at the Vulcan. Now that his eyes had adjusted to the lighting of the dark bridge, he could make out every detail of the other man's face, including the slight tinge of green blush that darkened his cheeks.

"Spock, what was that?" he was intrigued.

"Nothing… Captain." Spock quickly dropped his gaze to the ground and folded his hands behind his back. Jim, too curious to let it alone, reached around and pulled his hand back and held it in his, palm side up. He ran one finger from the base of his palm to the tip of his middle finger, watching Spock intently. He saw him clenching his teeth and trying to stop his breathing from becoming erratic. Jim smirked.

"Am I… hurting you?" he very well knew what he was eliciting in the Vulcan was not pain, but the very opposite of that. He continued to torturously draw little circles all over the palm of Spock's hand.

"No…not…pain…Captain…" his voice was strained, eyes shut tightly. As illogical as it was to let the captain keep pleasuring him in that way, he couldn't bring himself to stop him.

Jim was getting more excited by the minute. Deep in the recesses of his mind he remembered that one of the most sensitive and erogenous places on the Vulcan body were the hands. He grinned.

"Captain…please…" Spock didn't know whether he was asking him to stop or pleading him not to.

"Please what, Spock?" Jim leaned in closer, whispering into his ear. Before Spock could respond, he slid his palm against Spock, causing the other man to moan loudly. That was it for Jim. He felt a hot stream of fire shoot from his hand, through his body, resting in between his legs. He knew he had wanted Spock since the day they met, but it wasn't until that moment that he knew he needed him. He intertwined his fingers with Spock's and pulled him down on top of him onto the captain's chair. Without even thinking about it, he leaned forward and brought his lips to Spock's, kissing him with a passion he couldn't hold back.

It was strange. Different. He had always wondered what the Vulcan tasted like. Now he knew. The alien taste that was quickly filling his mouth, intoxicating him, was better than anything he could have ever imagined.

Spock knew his feelings towards the captain were not logical nor were they practical. He knew that this was the last thing he should be doing. This thought was stopped when Jim's thoughts came crashing into his mind. He felt the need the other man felt for him. It wasn't just desire, it was need. He felt the desire that radiated off of his skin and the countless of fantasies Jim had of being in this chair with him, doing what they were doing and much, much more. It seemed to be something the captain thought about a lot. He moaned into the other man's mouth as he felt a hand caressing the back of his neck. Jim broke away and began kissing down Spock's next.

"Spock." Jim said in between kisses. There was so much he wanted to tell him. So much he needed him to know.

"Yes, t'hy'la?"

"'T'hy'la'? What's that?" he asked quietly, his mouth barely lifting off of Spock's skin.

"It means, friend, or brother," he gasped softly as Jim nipped his ear. "or lover…" he added, his voice barely above a whisper.

"And which am I?" Jim raised his head to look into Spock's eyes.

Spock looked at him intently, brown eyes locking onto hazel. "After tonight Jim, all of them." He noticed his captains face light up, a smile spreading across his face.

"Really?" Jim asked with slight uncertainty.

"Yes, t'hy'la." Spock repeated softly.

There was nothing in all of space that he could have wanted more. He came to accept that. He knew, hours later, as he lay in Jim's arms, that his captain felt the same way.