Title: Magical Mishaps Happen
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers up until the season 2 finale. Not beta read.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Once Upon a Time.
Plot: This is a story about how magical mishaps helped get Swan Queen together. As many of the Swan Queen Week Prompts I could fit into one story.
"Stop it this instant Ms. Swan." Regina bit out as she swatted at Emma's wandering hands.
Why Snow and James had decided to sit across from them leaving Emma on the small love seat couch was a mystery to Regina. The three came barging into her home well past visiting hours with a rather drunk and incredibly handsy Emma Swan.
The two parents were as white as ghosts with a smattering of green in their cheeks making them look ill. Almost as ill as they had been when they'd all sailed on the Jolly Roger back in Neverland.
"But Reh-ick-ina…" Emma hiccupped and a glowing blue bubble escaped her lips and floated in front of the convened group.
"No but's Ms.—don't!" Regina warned as David reached out to pop the floating bubble. Her warning came too late. The man popped it and as Regina expected the sparks of electricity that had been contained in the bubble jumped into David's hand shocking him. She groaned as he clutched his arm to his chest, stomping his foot in pain, now probably unable to feel the whole thing.
"What is going on?" David grit his teeth together, at the end of his rope with this situation.
"I haven't the faintest idea." Regina had some idea but she couldn't confirm that for sure. Not just yet.
Emma began incessantly giggling. Regina turned to scowl at the young woman who was mumbling behind her hand. "You said butts…" Then Emma seemed to come through with a moment of clarity, her eyes no longer shinning as bright as a Christmas tree light in a dark room. Regina was almost hopeful that whatever had affected Emma was passing. Until, "You have a great butt…no ass. Yeah, ass. Ass is classier…like you." Emma reached out with clumsy hands, her eyes aglow once again.
"For the lahovof—" Emma's nails scraped delicately across her lower thigh, causing goosebumps to cover her skin. She wrenched her leg away from Emma's exploring hand immediately. "Keep your hands to yourself!" Regina growled as she swatted Emma's hand away from her once again. She stood from the couch to put some distance between herself and the seemingly intoxicated Sherriff. On what the Sherriff was on, Regina did not yet know.
As Regina moved away from the troublesome blonde, Emma pouted and Snow was quick to take Regina's position on the couch and take a firm hold of Emma's hands. The woman probably had enough of Emma trying to grope Regina in inappropriate places as if her parents couldn't see her doing it.
At first Regina had allowed the touches if only to enjoy the sight of Snow White's ashen face and David's grinding jaw. Then the blonde had proved to be skilled with her hands, even while intoxicated, and Regina had put an end to the touches as quickly as she could.
Sadly it hadn't been quick enough, the burn in the pit of her stomach and dampness residing between her thighs were evidence enough of her failure.
Regina shivered and pulled her robe tightly around herself, tying the rope around her stomach again, as if stopping the chill of the room from caressing her skin would stop the shivers. This wouldn't do. She could not allow herself to recognize the attraction she felt for Ms. Swan. It was futile.
Emma was happily gallivanting around with Neal since they arrived back from Neverland to find the man had lived. Regina was in a relationship of her own that she needed to value and honor. This reaction to Ms. Swan's touch would not do.
Regina went over to her liquor cabinet and poured herself a glass of her apple cider. As her lips touched the crystal she stopped. She wanted nothing more than a drink, this situation called for it. It truly did. However she refrained. She needed to remain clear headed if she was going to help the two bumbling idiots and their bumbling idiot of a daughter.
Sighing, one hand caressed the headache forming while the other slammed her now useless glass back down.
"When did this start?" Regina asked barely looking over her shoulder, doing her best to ignore the sniffling the blonde was trying to contain and the coos Snow was whispering to her suddenly inconsolable daughter.
"Four hours ago." David answered, turning around on the couch to look to Regina, one arm still clutching the other. "What is it?"
Regina wondered why they had waited so long to bring her here. Perhaps they had called Blue to see if she knew what was wrong before coming to her as a last ditch effort when Blue turned out to be useless. Like always.
Regina didn't dignify David's question with an answer. Obviously she was trying to figure this out herself. Having an answer to one single question would not grant her the answers to the universe and all David's problems. "Where did it start?"
"We don't know. We drove over after Henry called us…" Regina tensed at the mention of Henry. They had been doing very well after their return from Neverland but he had become distant again when he'd learned of her blossoming relationship with Tinkerbell.
At first he had been very happy that she had a friend, and that friend had been so helpful to them all back in Neverland. Tinkerbell had kept Henry safe when Regina couldn't and she had been grateful for that. It was only when Regina sat Henry down to tell him that her relationship with Tinkerbell was more…than friendship that his reactions shifted from accepting to disregard.
Henry had assured her it wasn't the fact that Tink was a woman that made him uncomfortable with the relationship. He also promised that he was happy for her, happy that she was looking for love and that she'd maybe found it with the spunky fairy. His assurance that he didn't want her to end the relationship was the only reason she hadn't.
He promised that he would tell her if he felt uncomfortable, and he had been truthful. It was the idea of Regina being with ANYONE that made him uncomfortable. Not because he didn't want to see her happy, but because he just didn't know how to react to his mom dating anyone—he'd never had to handle something like that before. So it was new to him and made him uncomfortable because he didn't know how he was supposed to act.
He still remained distant, even when they spent so much more time together. It felt as if they were returning to the time before Neverland, before their bond had been strengthened.
"She was like this in front of Henry?" Regina spun around on her heel, finally realizing what David had admitted. "She was drinking while watching ou…MY son?"
"I didn't…hick…mean it…hick." Emma whimpered from the couch, wiping away tears as she hiccupped and two more bubble escaped her lips. The second much larger then the first. This time David refrained from touching it.
Regina felt her heart melt at the sight of Emma's pout. So very like Henry's. Any warmth she felt for the sobbing blonde was lost when one of the bubbles that escaped Emma's lips traveled up to the ceiling and popped. The current of electricity it released when it popped caused the lights in the room to glow brighter then was physically possibly, blinding them all.
There was a humming that was getting louder and louder even as it's shrill became more of a whine then a hum.
David and Snow looked around the room nervously while Regina's eyes remained on Emma whose sobs were growing more panicked like the whine.
"Get down!" Regina called out into the room as she threw herself under her desk and covered her head. She saw David push Emma onto the back of the couch and the family toppled the couch over and hid behind it. The lot actually taking her advice and doing as she said without asking questions, something they'd learned to do while in Neverland.
The whine reached a crescendo, the lights flashing dangerously as all the glass around them started to shake. And then as one long whistle blew through the room the glass shattered. Most of it exploded into the room as they were surrounded by glass cabinets, windows, coffee table and picture frames. The shards were like raindrops during a downpour, they covered every surface imaginable.
When the whine had ceased and glass shards were no longer flying through the air Regina made her way out from under her desk. She hissed as she stepped with her bare feet onto the glass, cracking it underneath her weight.
Growling she looked around her office at all the destruction. The glass doors to her liquor cabinet swung back and forth the force of the implosion rocketing them practically off their hinges.
"Are you three alright?" Regina asked into the room, unable to see the three Charmings who were supposedly hidden between her turned over couch and the fireplace.
"We're okay." Snow answered, her head was the first to pop up from behind the couch.
Regina didn't even feel a twinge of regret to hear that they were all okay. Their adventure together had done wonders for Regina's restraint when it came to the younger woman and her family.
"For the most part." David answered as his head came into view. The man stood to help his wife and daughter up from the floor.
"That was AWEEESOME!" Emma cackled as she looked around the room and brushed some of the glass shards off of her shoulders and out of her hair. The tears had stopped. The destruction of her private office seemingly enough to entertain the woman who now appeared to be a giddy teenager.
Did she mention restraint? Yes, her restrained had doubled, no tripled, for her to refrain from strangling the blonde and her giggling self.
Regina growled darkly. She tried to understand that Emma was under the influence of something, something magical that she had no control over. She really did.
But her office! It was destroyed!
Regina's restraint was at its end when Emma suddenly realized something. "Oh no…" The blonde whispered as she reached out for something from the floor. When she stood back up Regina noticed that she was holding a picture in her hand. Which one, Regina couldn't tell from this side of the room. Emma's eyes however were tearing up again as she turned to stare at Regina.
Regina's glare softened at the heart broken expression the blonde exhibited.
"It wasn't your fault, honey." Snow immediately tried to console Emma as her daughter sniffled back tears again while clutching tightly onto the picture.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll fix it. I promise. I'm sorry." Emma swore as she nodded her head up and down quickly. Only to stop and shuffle from one foot to the other, dizzy.
"That will be unnecessary, Ms. Swan." Regina waved her hand in a circle at her hip, muttered a few words, and the destruction that lay around them suddenly disappeared and everything was back to how it had been moments before. Except the picture that Emma held onto. The blonde's natural shield kept the picture from reforming with the rest of them; a handy tool that had saved them all one time or another in Neverland. Now it was just a nuisance.
"Put the picture down Ms. Swan."
Emma nibbled on her bottom lip and stared down at the photograph as if deciding whether or not to do as Regina asked.
"Emma, why don't you do as Regina, says, okay?" Snow asked softly, trying to guide her daughter in her actions.
"It's my favorite picture." Emma admitted, the sound of her voice that of a child rather than an intoxicated adult. Regina's curiosity to which picture it was grew as Emma caressed the photo lovingly and then held it against her chest to keep it away from Snow.
Surely it was one of Henry that Regina kept up on the mantel.
"Regina!?" The sound of someone calling out throughout the house echoed into the study. "Regina!" Tink skid across the tile floor outside the office. She pulled herself into the room and right into Regina's arms. Regina caught the worried blonde and held her tightly, sighing against her neck.
"What, what happened?" Tinkerbell asked, still not having noticed the three people on the opposite side of the office.
"It was an accident." Regina caressed Tink's cheek to calm her and offered a small smile. Something felt…off as she did so. Like she shouldn't be touching her lover this intimately in front of the Charming family—even though they had seen much more intimate gestures between the two of them. She pushed the thought away from her, the feeling like she was cheating, and stared into Tinkerbell's green eyes. "I'm sorry to have woken you."
"You're okay?" Regina nodded and hummed affirmatively. Tinkerbell sighed, relieved. "Then why don't we go back up to bed? Hmmm..."
"Like hell. Take ya hands off her!" Emma yelled, dragging Regina and Tinkerbell's attention away from each other to the other blonde.
Regina was surprised to see that David had both of his arms wrapped around Emma, one over her shoulder and the other wrapped around her stomach to keep her from moving towards them. Seemed he had regained feeling in his right arm.
Tinkerbell blinked, clearly confused to see that they weren't alone. "Pardon me?"
"Ya heard me ya two timing no good second rate fairy." Emma yanked at David's hold. "Get ya hands off-er!" Emma growled as she tried to throw her weight forward to get away from David. "Leh me go. Leh me go, David!"
"Emma, calm down." Snow was quick to jump in her husband's place when Emma got a good shot into his ribs forcing him to release her.
"No. NO! She…let me go!" Emma demanded as she started to make some headway in crossing the room towards Regina and Tinkerbell.
Tinkerbell took a step back when Emma got closer and closer, practically dragging Snow with her across the room. Regina rolled her eyes and squeezed her lover's hand before she met Emma half way.
Emma's eyes were glaring daggers at Tinkerbell over Regina's shoulder and she almost seemed willing to plow Regina over to get to the fairy.
"Ms. Swan. Control yourself."
"She…she…" Emma let out a long sigh, her shoulders deflating as she seemed to come to her senses.
Emma's eyes dipped and she stared right into Regina's eyes. The warmth lying in Emma's eyes caused Regina's stomach to flutter with butterflies.
It wasn't until defeat shone through the expressive blue orbs that Regina snapped herself out of the trance she'd been caught in. Emma raised her hand and cupped Regina's cheek, her thumb gliding back and forth against the smooth tan skin. Regina gasped at the touch, but did not move away; too mesmerized by the woman in front of her and her softly ethereally glowing blue eyes. At least they were as bright as they had been when she first arrived. That was promising.
"She doesn't deserve you." Emma whispered so softly that Regina had difficulty hearing her and she was within half a food of the woman.
Regina blinked, as she took an involuntary step backwards.
"What is going on?" Tinkerbell asked. She hadn't moved from the spot she'd been in with Regina, afraid that Emma might lose her mind once again if she so much as moved an inch.
Emma growled, snarled her teeth at the fairy, while at her side her left hand formed a tight fist.
"It seems Ms. Swan ingested magical synthonol of some kind. Of what variety I am uncertain. Her parents brought her here hoping I could explain what was wrong and how to fix it." Regina looked over her shoulder and explained the situation to Tinkerbell as briefly and concisely as she could.
"Well that leaves a few different types of solutions depending on what she's ingested." Tink offered immediately as if this were an everyday occurrence.
"Yes, I was going to explain the appropriate solution. But it seems no one is aware of what she's eaten or had to drink."
Emma grit her teeth, "She is me and I am right here."
"Yes of course, Ms. Swan." Regina patted Emma's shoulder mockingly before she looked to Snow. Emma too focused on Regina's hand—that remained on her shoulder—to say anything more at being ignored. Even though she couldn't offer up any explanation because she hadn't had any form of alcohol in the last 24 hours.
"How long has it been since she's been acting up?"
"Over four hours." David answered as he finally moved to stand on Emma's left side. His eyes on Regina's hand as well.
Regina noticed the forward glances and cleared her through as she allowed her hand to drop away from Emma. She turned her back on the family and walked to stand beside Tinkerbell. "Glowing eyes, electric hiccup bubbles, hyper whimper, and severe mood swings." Regina listed the symptoms.
"Well she doesn't have the Eros intoxication." Tinkerbell concluded immediately, though Regina was less sure about that conclusion as she had purposefully left out Emma's need to touch her and obvious jealousy when someone else did. "Which is good."
Regina nodded her head once in agreement.
"Why is that good?" Snow asked curious, looking between the two women, who she was loathed to admit were a very striking pair. Tinkerbell's pale skin, deep golden hair and green eyes complimented Regina's tan skin, dark brown hair and brown eyes. Now if only she could get Emma to admit that as well.
"If she was intoxicated with Eros tears,"
"The god of love and lust." Regina informed the three oblivious stooges.
"She would have an insatiable sexual desire for as long as it took for her to sleep with her true love and burn off the tears, which sometimes can be deadly when the person is unable to find their true love."
Snow and David's eyes widened in horror and met each other's eyes before releasing a sigh. "And you're sure that she doesn't have…that?"
"No." Regina was quick to state but Tinkerbell wasn't, switching the positions they'd just held moments ago.
The fairy looked between Regina and Emma and the way Emma's eyes seemed drawn to the brunette.
"Well, does she have a fever?"
Snow snapped her hand to Emma's forehead and frowned. "Yes." Her pitch was higher and obviously sick with worry now.
"That could easily be because she's burning off the synthonol." Regina offered, hoping to calm Snow.
"And if it isn't?" David asked stepping forward.
"Then you would need to find her true love and allow them to…consummate…their relationship for however long it took to burn off the tears. The more tears consumed the longer the consummation would need to be."
David looked sick to his stomach again while Snow's color drained to truly make her seem as white as snow.
Regina also felt sick to her stomach. The idea of Emma being with her true love made her feel queasy. Why, she couldn't truly understand. She cared for Emma. She wanted what was best for the blonde. They had learned to get along on their travels through Neverland and the Enchanted Forest in their search for Henry.
Regina had taught Emma how to use her magic, how to control it and form it to her will. They had bonded. It was only when they'd found Neal that their bond had been shattered. Neal, Emma, and Henry could be their happy little family while she watched from the outside as the practically forgotten step-mother. It infuriated her and had reversed almost all of the progress she and Emma had made.
Regina swallowed back the bile that rose at the idea of Emma and Neal spending such a prolonged amount of time…consummating…their love.
"It isn't Eros intoxication." Regina insisted.
"How can you be so sure?" David inquired harshly, "For all we know you could just want her to die!"
"David!" Snow scolded immediately as she snapped her eyes to her husband, missing the horrified expression that crossed Regina's countenance.
Emma, however, didn't miss it, nor did Tinkerbell. However it was Emma that did something about it while Tinkerbell merely spat, "How dare you." at David.
"Emma!" Snow yelled as her daughter turned and clocked David right in the jaw for his accusation.
Snow rushed around Emma to help her fallen husband, who'd been knocked out instantly. His jaw always was his weak spot.
"Emma, you can't just hit people!" Snow sounded like a mother scolding a toddler at the playground. So it wasn't a wonder why Emma completely disregarded her.
"He deserved it."
"He's your father!"
"And he's an ass!"
Snow opened her mouth as if to defend David but was stopped by said ass groaning as he came to.
"Take it easy…" Snow urged her husband as he tried to stand up, glaring and growling at Regina.
"If I had my sword I'd…"
"You'd find yourself impaled by it for threatening her with it." Tinkerbell put herself between Regina and David, a position she mimicked from Emma who was already standing between the fallen Prince and the silent Queen.
Regina released a heavy sigh. "Enough." Regina put a hand on Tinkerbell's shoulder to calm the woman and met Emma's eyes when the blonde turned to stare at her hand on the fairy's shoulder. "The both of you." Regina added. "Let him think what he wants. If Emma were intoxicated by the Eros tears she has only shown an interest in me." Tinkerbell tensed under her hand and David's jaw fell while Snow just seemed to bob her head in sad agreement.
"Which should paint a clear picture that she is not affected by that particular intoxication." Because there was no way Ms. Swan was her true love. No matter what Regina once thought, Emma had her happy ending with Neal and Henry. She would not take that from her. Emma deserved to be happy. "I believe it is simply magical intoxication. How, I do not know." Regina added the last part quickly to stop David from asking any questions.
"If she was practicing her magic in close proximity to alcohol the magic may have seeped into the spirits. There is a chemical composition in alcohol similar to magic that allows it to absorb excess magic." Tinkerbell glanced at Regina to finish explaining the phenomenon to the royals.
"When consumed, depending on how much magic was absorbed, the person can become affected by it. Causing uncontrollable magical expulsions like the hiccup bubbles and the hyper whine that caused my glass to shatter." Regina noticed how Snow and David relaxed, "She just needs to sleep it off and stay away from the alcohol that she drank to become this way."
"Are there any side effects?" Snow asked as she stood up.
"She'll have a splitting head ache and might be unable to control her magic for a few days but other than that, some advil, lots of water and sleep should do her well." Just like any other hangover.
"You're sure?" David asked as Snow helped him to his feet.
"As sure as I can be without a sample of what she ingested."
"We'll see ourselves out then." David gestured to the office doors.
"Thank you." Snow looked between Tinkerbell and Regina, though her eyes lingered on Regina. "Come on Emma, let's get you home and into bed."
Regina hid a smirk as Emma rolled her eyes. Her mother was treating her like a child. It was almost as if Emma wanted to complain about being treated like a child, when in fact that was how she had been behaving.
Emma opened her mouth to refute but was silenced when Snow continued. "I'm sure Regina will come and check up on you tomorrow morning to see how you're doing. She can join us for breakfast." Snow looked around Emma's shoulder to Regina as she offered up that solution.
Regina nodded once.
"You'll see her in the morning. Come on now, Henry's waiting." Snow continued to try and urge Emma to the door, offering up Regina as some kind of prize. Something Regina and David took an affront to, for two very different reasons.
Emma sighed, "Fine." She huffed as she went to follow her parents out the door before she stopped and walked back into the room. She handed Regina the photo that she'd been holding and smiled bashfully at the brunette. "Sorry. Again."
Emma glared at Tinkerbell as she passed the fairy and met up with her parents at the office door. She was unsteady on her feet as she walked, and required both Snow and David to help her walk a straight line. Tinkerbell followed them out so she could lock the door, leaving Regina in her office staring down at the photograph Emma had caressed reverently.
Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at the image. Emma had held this photograph as if it were the most valuable item she'd ever grasped and had cried when she'd seen it was 'destroyed', merely teared at the left edge. Emma's finger had glided over the image, her eyes softening and a small smile fought to spread across her lips instead of the sad one.
Regina had been so sure that it was a picture of Henry. Maybe a picture of Henry and Regina together. She never thought Emma would think this…photograph was so important, so beautiful that the idea it was ruined devastated her.
The image staring back up at her was not one of Henry, but one of herself, alone, staring into the camera with a wide happy smile surrounded by grass and trees as she sat on a picnic blanket. Henry had taken this photograph on mother's day nearly four years ago long before Emma Swan was even a thought in either of their minds.
Regina continued to stare at the captured moment before her eyes looked up to the hallway when the echo of the front door closing reached her ears.