"I can't even begin to understand... what's going on here." Confessed Ussop in a small whine as his face fell forward and landed on the page of his textbook.
His friend Chopper next to him, a really skinny student, just comfortingly patted him on the back.
"It's alright Ussop." He said in his sweet voice. "I don't get it much either..."
They were at school in the class they love and hated most, health. Usually it was something cool like talking about gruesome injuries and heading outside for some sport activities, but this week all the boys had mixed feelings. It was sexual education week.
A few tables behind Ussop and Chopper, two boys with intimidating expressions sat. Zoro, a usually silent kendo club member, was sitting lazily in his chair staring towards the front. His arms were crossed and his face was a permanent scowl. No one knew if he was always angry or if that was just how his face looked. Beside him, was Sanji, ladies man. He was hunched over, leaning against the desk, his chin in his hand as he gazed over the class room. His brows were furrowed, having been so since he realized that the sex ed classes wouldn't be co-ed.
When the warning bell rung to signal classes were beginning, Sanji turned over to look at his angry classmate. He rolled his eyes. What a slob! He could at least pretend to have some posture. Then again, he'd probably be worried if the Marimo did something civilized.
"Oi, Shit head." He called out to him.
Zoro had been resting his eyes, as he often did in a lot of his classes. They opened slowly upon hearing the blondes voice and a slight migraine was threatening to appear. His dark eye's shifted over to him, one of them narrowing in suspicion, his silence prompting Sanji to continue.
Sanji grinned slightly now that he knew he had the swordsman's attention.
"You better listen so you can get some pointers." He lifted his chin and pointed to him in a lecturing type gesture.
Zoro was about to retort, but the actual starting bell rang and their teacher for the hour strolled in. His name was Mr. Franky and he had the weirdest arms anyone had ever seen.
"Okay bros, I got an awesome lesson planned today." He explained with a grin while taking off his sunglasses.
Mr. Franky turned on the overhead projector and motioned to some weird scrawny guy in the front to hit the lights.
"Today we are learning about... The Penis." Mr. Franky's voice dropped down to a more monotone, giving an impression he wasn't really excited about giving this discussion, probably having done so many times before.
There was a slight chatter in the room about that but he asked them to quiet down. Then, awkwardly, he placed up a diagram that had an outline of the penis with labels onto the overhead.
"It's made up of four parts on the outside. The shaft, the foreskin, the glans and the Meatus."
Sanji turned his head down towards the table. "Is he seriously going to just name off all these..." He muttered, just feeling incredibly awkward hearing about this subject. He knew enough having one that he'd not have to hear about it.
He brought his hands up to cover his ears and closed his eyes. He really should just think about going to sleep or something, rather than hearing this. The one thing Sanji had looked forward in this class was getting to look at pictures of breasts. He sighed, hearing the muffled voice of his teacher. This could work, he guessed.
Zoro watched the blonde as he tried going to his happy place and grinned. Here he had told him to take notes yet he couldn't even stand to listen to the teacher list off some diagrams? Mischievous idea's where beginning to form in his head and he sat up a little straighter in his seat. As the subject changed from the basic parts of a Penis to it's function and erections, Zoro came to a decision.
He scooted closer to the table next to the cook. His hand began to wander, hovering over Sanji's pants and then slipping underneath the fabric. The blonde's eye's flew open and dropped his hand, sitting up much straighter than before.
Sanji's body tensed. Zoro's hand... was in his pants! But he couldn't smack it away like he wanted to, they were in class dammit! Anyone could turn around and see what they were doing. He turned to look at the Marimo, horrified.
"What are you doing." He whispered harshly. He was beginning to move his arm to push him away but a small squeeze on him made him go still.
Zoro continued to smirk. "Taking notes."
Sanji's cheeks began to flush and he dared to glance at what part of the lecture they were at. Erections. Really? What was the swordsman trying to do? Get a hands-on experience? How about getting them expelled?! Sanji clenched his teeth. He knew his boyfriend was perverted beyond belief when prompted correctly, but this was a little much, yeah?
"The dilation of arteries begin supplying blood to the penis.." 's voice began to drag on.
Sanji turned his face down towards the top of their work table, his blush becoming more evident. Oh god it was like Mr. Franky was narrating his situation. It didn't help every time he glanced over at the moron who had a hold of him, Zoro would just lick at his lips. He could feel the Marimo's fingers dance along his shaft, tease at his tip. With Zoro's hand in there and for other reasons, Sanji's pants were becoming tight.
"Causing it to stiffen and grow in length..."
Sanji had to improvise over a small noise that escape his mouth, pretending to cough. No one turned around, proving it had been effective. Sanji was cursing so loudly in his head. Everything he wanted to do to Zoro in that moment, kick his ass, get revenge, anything, would be to much and would gather unwanted attention from the class.
"Normal for the erect penis to point nearly vertically upwards..."
Sanji arched his back over the table, his hands covering his face. Zoro let out a soft hum of amusement, watching as the cook's ears even began to flush.
"Getting kind of tight in there..." He leaned over, whispering into Sanji's ear. He teasingly licked at the blondes lobe, producing a nice shiver from him.
"I swear to god Zoro..." He whispered harshly back, his breath altering as Zoro experimentally stroked at his shaft. He turned his hand around to bite into his flesh, suppressing another noise.
Sanji's face was already so hot in embarrassment and from the sensations of Zoro's touch, a bead of sweat began down his face. He clenched his jaw painfully tight, his eye's closing for a moment as he desperately tried to think of something other than Zoro's finger finding its way into his slit. Oh god!
He forced his forehead down against the table, his arms around it and could do nothing to stop the sound that left his lips. Mr. Franky, who was changing slides paused and glanced back at their table, as did some of the room. Zoro was calm, glancing over at Sanji.
From everyone else's angles in the dark it just looked like Sanji had fallen asleep on the table and was just making noises in his sleep. Zoro just happened to be sitting next to him with a hand under the table. Everyone went back to watching the front where Mr. Franky let out a small chuckle.
"Alright then, back to what I was saying..." he continued.
Sanji's eye's were narrow and he turned his face to glare daggers at Zoro's smug expression that gazed back at him. The cook was panting a little, his body lightly shaking, which pleased the swordsman to no end.
"Ejaculation is the ejecting of semen from the penis and is usually accompanied by an orgasm..."
Sanji watched the grin spread across Zoro's face and his heart dropped. His eye's were wide. No. Oh hell no he was not even about to let him get away with that. He sat back up and moved to push him away when Zoro gave him another squeeze. His body froze, a tiny moan escaping his lips as the ending bell rang.
Sanji and Zoro sat perfectly still as the lights came on and the students around them began to get up to leave. They were in the back of the class luckily, the exit being at the front. No one would see them. Zoro watched Sanji's bloodshot expression in amusement. After everyone had left though, even Mr. Franky, Sanji finally let out a satisfying sound.
He then reached out and pushed Zoro away from him roughly.
"The hell was that Marimo!" He yelled, hands going to his pants to readjust them in a panic. He was obviously shaken up. "In school? Really?!"
Zoro, who had been pushed clean out of his seat, just chuckled and got up. He glanced Sanji down, pausing to look at the tent he'd made him have. He gave a half shrug, picking up his book bag. "Got bored." He admitted before walking towards the door.
Sanji got up uncomfortably, cussing out loud like a sailor. Dammit how was he suppose to get to the next class with this much of a problem?! Zoro, having reached the door turned back to look at him. He sent him a playful smile.
"See you next period."
Sanji glared at the door once Zoro vanished into the hall. Oh, two could play at this game. He'd have his revenge.
This was the product of a fun little prompt sentence game I did with my friend FF user ~~ We both got the same sentence to work with that we had to incorporate into our one-shots somewhere, but the plot was free to be anything we wanted otherwise. Sentence was "I can't even begin to understand what is going on here."
Go check out her one-shot based off that sentence called "Bon Voyage" ! 8D