A/N: I wasn't initially planning on re-posting this one, but rickmantic has persuaded me. Hope you enjoy it! (And also a quick reminder that I have never been under morphine, or even around someone who has been under morphine, and I still have no idea where this fic came from or why...)
Wisdom Teeth Extraction
Emma sighed as she glanced over to where Regina Mills, infamous mayor of Storybrooke, Maine, was standing, bent at the hip, draped over her car bonnet. This was not how she had planned to spend her Saturday.
Said mayor was currently making groaning noises to rival the extras on The Walking Dead and, if Emma wasn't protected from the inside of her little yellow Bug, she might actually have felt a tremor of fear at the sight.
Winding down her window, she yelled out, "Regina, get your ass in the car!" They hadn't even made it out of the parking lot, yet, and Emma was almost thankful no one was yet to witness their drugged up mayor.
Regina didn't look from her spot, and instead settled for groaning out around the gauze in her mouth, "I don't feel so good…"
"That's the morphine," Emma told her, frowning when she noticed the small pool of drool forming over her yellow bonnet.
Why the hell had she agreed to this? If Henry wasn't away on a school trip, she might have just left Regina to make her own way back from the dentists, but when her ten year old had brought up his fears - apparently having seen what the drugs from the extraction could do - of what his mom might get up to whilst under the influence of morphine, Emma had promised him she'd take care of her. She could hardly back out now.
"I think if you just get in the car," Emma called through the window, "you'll start to feel a lot better."
Regina stopped groaning to turn, pressing one cheek to the cool yellow bonnet, and looked at Emma through the windshield. "You think?" She asked.
Emma nodded and wondered if she should help Regina into the car, but instead just leaned over and opened the passenger's side door. It took Regina a few tries before she managed to push herself up off the bonnet and towards the open door, where she practically fell in. Emma tried to catch her, but Regina was still as frosty as ever even when on morphine and pushed her hands away, settling instead for groaning at her almost-fall and leaning her head over the dashboard, arms slowly coming up to shield her face.
Emma raised an eyebrow as she watched her. She would probably find this all hilarious if it wasn't her that had been picked to look after Regina.
"Are you gonna put your belt on?" She asked, and Regina made a great effort to push herself back in her seat, head lolling to the side as she peered up at Emma. Her eyes looked vacant and tired, but Emma doubted she would make the day any easier on her by falling asleep.
She asked again, "Belt? You gonna put it on?"
Regina made a noise, cheeks puffing slightly with the gauze blocking her tongue, but Emma couldn't make sense of her 'words'.
"Fine. Be awkward."
Regina let out a dry laugh as Emma hovered over her uncomfortably, pulling the door shut and grabbing the seatbelt. She pushed Regina's arms into the correct positions once she had plugged the belt in, and sat back to fasten her own. It was going to be a long day.
The car journey back to the mayoral manor was less than pleasant, what with Regina taking it upon herself to take charge of the radio and, although Emma wasn't sure she was exactly spot on, singing along to each and every song that played, even when there were no songs playing.
When Emma had tried to turn the radio off, half hoping it would help Regina to settle down and stop making noise, she had all but attacked her and almost caused the car to go off the road. It wasn't doing Emma's burgeoning headache any good, but allowing Regina full control over the radio was certainly a lot safer for the both of them.
"You know," Regina mumbled out through the gauze as Emma led her into the house, having to persuade her that going to visit all the people she hated most in Storybrooke at that very moment was a terrible idea, "your hair is the same colour as straw." She shook her head, incredulous at her findings, and then burst into hysterical laughter while Emma pushed her through the door.
"Yeah, you've told me," Emma replied, "about ten times now."
Her smile was testing, but Regina merely shrugged in response and struggled out of her heels, kicking them as far as she could away from her and grinning.
"So," Emma sighed, pushing her hands into her jeans pockets, "why don't you go take a lie down, or watch some tv-"
"I don't watch television, Ms. Swan," Regina managed to withhold her usual contemptuous tone, "even when the ponies are flying to Jupiter." She said it so seriously, Emma almost thought she could have been of sane mind.
"Right," she took a calming breath, "then how about you go lie down? Get some sleep?"
"I can't possib…possibib…sopos…"
Regina let out a groan and, with a hand guiding her way over each wall and door, felt her way into the living area, where she proceeded to throw herself down on the sofa. Emma followed her through, almost afraid of her hurting herself, and came to hover over her as she lay down, arm over her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked, hoping she wasn't going to have to clean up Regina's vomit as well as babysit her.
"I'm fine," Regina managed around the gauze in her mouth, then asked, "what's that…?" She opened her mouth wide and moved to reach in for the little white buds.
"Ah-ah, don't touch that," Emma told her, batting her fingers away, "you need to keep that in."
"I don't need to do anything," Regina told her, lifting her arm so as to glare at the other woman. "Who are you?"
Emma blinked. "What?"
"Get out of my house," Regina whined lazily.
"It's Emma - you know, your kid's birth mother, Sheriff, Ms. Swan." She was thankful Regina wasn't of sane mind and wouldn't yell at her for her poor imitation.
"I hate swans," Regina told her, "you're not a swan. I know swans."
Emma nodded, humouring her. "That's right, I'm not… I'm putting the TV on."
She moved to play around with the television, turning it on before fiddling with the remote. Once she found a decent channel - and it took a while - she turned to hand Regina the remote, but found the other woman suddenly missing from the sofa. She hadn't heard her move.
With panic flaring up inside of her at what damage Regina might cause to herself - or everything else around her - Emma hurried from the room and ran into the foyer. Coming up significantly mayor-less, Emma called out, "Regina!" and just about heard the sound of a closing door coming from the kitchen.
Running towards the noise, she sighted Regina in the back garden from the window, arms spread wide and spinning. When she noticed Emma stepping outside and rounding on her, Regina shouted, "I like this song!" Emma hoped she was referring to the chirping birds from her apple tree, and not her own delusions.
Emma shook her head as her spinning continued until she was merely walking around in circles and, finally, lying on her back with her arms spread wide, fingers tugging at grass.
"What are you doing?" She sighed, bending to grab Regina's arm, but the other woman merely rolled over, face buried in the ground. "Regina, get up," she told her sternly, though couldn't help but smirk at the grass stains over the rear of Regina's once pristine dress.
Regina muttered a muffled and incoherent reply, to which Emma crouched down and forcibly rolled her over, taking in her slightly damp cheeks. "Are you gonna sit up?" She asked.
Regina frowned at her as though she were stupid before replying, "I can't move." She looked to almost gag on the gauze in her mouth before continuing, "I'm a tree."
Emma sighed and closed her eyes, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Regina, you are not a tree. C'mon, get up, let's go inside."
"I'm not going anywhere with you," Regina told her, "your hair is the same colour as straaaw."
"Don't make me man handle you back to the house," Emma's warned, eyes opening to take in the sulking expression below her. Was this even happening…?
"No," Regina groaned, pouting now, "I want to stay here…"
"Regina, you need to get inside, it's going to rain-"
"What kind of tree can I be inside?" She yelled, arms folded lazily but defiantly across her chest.
"You're not a tree!" Emma cried, exasperated. "You need to come inside, otherwise I'm just gonna leave you here."
She wouldn't, not after promising Henry she'd watch over his mom, but Regina didn't need to know that. Regina, however, did not look deterred in the slightest, and so Emma set her jaw and grabbed her around the waist, heaving her up despite her struggles until she was carrying her, bridal style, back into the house.
"Stop this! I need to be with my people!" Regina shouted, struggling to get free, but Emma's grip was surprisingly strong, and the morphine had left her limbs limp and tired.
Once they reached the living room, doors being kicked shut behind her, Emma dropped Regina unceremoniously down onto a sofa and stood to stretch her back from its slight ache.
"That was not appropriate," Regina managed, but just as Emma was about to retort, her eyes grew wide and a panic-stricken look took over her expressions. "What's in my mouth?" She cried, pushing herself into a sitting position as she reached for her lips.
Emma quickly dropped down beside her and grabbed her hands, bringing them away from her mouth. "It's gauze," she told her, "you had your wisdom teeth out, remember?" Regina looked clueless. "You were at the dentists…he gave you a needle…took your teeth out…"
"He took out my teeth?" Emma wasn't sure if Regina sounded more disgusted or surprised.
"Yeah," she clarified, only for Regina to glare at her.
"Why didn't you stop him?" She cried, yanking her hands away from Emma's. "I need my teeth! How can I eat without my teeth? Oh, my god, what have you done?"
"Woah, it's okay," Emma tried, but Regina now looked to be verging on tears, "you still have teeth."
"I do?" Regina sniffed, "I can't feel my tongue."
"Well, it's definitely there," Emma told her, tone sympathetic. Regina seemed to take comfort from it and she blinked away the tears.
"Are you sure?" She asked, "'Cause I can't feel a thing. I think I lost my lips."
"Nope, they're still there, too."
Emma glanced down at the pouting lips before her, ignoring the roll of desire in her stomach, and then back up to Regina's wide, brown eyes.
A single finger came up, with which Regina prodded at her numb lips, and then shook her head. "No, they're definitely gone," she frowned, tone rising in pitch.
"Regina," Emma sighed, "you still have lips. And a tongue. And your teeth."
Regina didn't look convinced, and Emma doubted she was going to get anywhere with her reasoning. She did, however, notice her suppress a yawn.
"Do you want me to take you to bed?"
Despite her drugged state, Regina's eyebrows rose and a smirk tugged freely at her lips. "I'm not that easy," she grinned, only for Emma to roll her eyes and only hope she was controlling the blush that she felt burning its way up her neck.
"Come on," she sighed, holding out a hand which Regina quickly took.
The walk up the stairs was hazardous to say the least, with Regina swaying and, at one point, almost toppling completely over the banister, and Emma practically screaming at her to walk properly as she dragged her up each step. By the time they reached the bedroom, Emma wanted to climb into bed with her, and it seemed Regina had exactly the same sentiments in mind.
Just as Emma was about to move from the bed, having thrown Regina down over the duvet and landed beside her, Regina wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her on top of her as she lay back.
"Don't go," she told her, to which Emma tried to wriggle free.
She managed to roll over so that she wasn't lying over Regina, and turned to face her with a slight frown, which Regina - laughingly - drew the outline to with a dizzy finger, almost taking out an eye.
"You want me to stay?" Emma asked, surprised to find herself not overly against the idea. The bed was comfortable beneath her, and it had been one hell of a morning…
"You can't go, I don't have any seats in here," Regina reasoned, her expression suggesting nothing less than her words making total and complete sense. Emma merely raised an eyebrow.
"Mhm, okay," she drawled, wondering if she could get her hands on some morphine.
Finally giving in - it hadn't taken much thinking over - Emma let out a sigh and shifted to get comfortable, mumbling out a, "Fine, as long as you go to sleep…" Now she really felt as though she was babysitting. Regina merely closed her eyes, snuggling closer into her pillow, and Emma allowed her own eyes to slip shut as her breathing slowed.
Just as she was ready to tumble over into her own subconscious mind, a low chuckle caused her to warily open her eyes. Regina was beaming - beaming - back at her and Emma hadn't the chance to manage a frown before a leg was slung over her hip.
"What are you doing?" She asked sleepily, tensing under the weight of Regina's leg.
"Do I still have lips?" Regina asked, ignoring Emma's question as she shuffled closer, staring at the woman beneath her with a searching expression. Emma could just about manage a nod before Regina lunged forward and pressed her lips to her mouth. The kiss was over almost before it had begun and Regina threw herself back on her bed happily, laughing hysterically through the gauze in her mouth.
"I didn't even feel that," she cried, though did not seem overly upset about this fact. "But I will later."
Emma frowned again, Regina's leg still wrapped around her, and asked, "What?"
"I wanted to do that for…" Regina trailed off with a frown. "It was like berries."
"Berries?" Emma asked, confusion only growing.
"I liked that," Regina sighed, and let out another little chuckle, closing her eyes as she rolled further into Emma. "But you're too warm." She tugged a little at her dress, but when the material ceased to disappear, gave up and settled for closing her eyes with a hum.
Emma frowned at her, trying to control her breathing, as she wondered what the hell had just happened. She looked upon Regina with a mixture of confusion and envy as the other woman easily fell into sleep, and left Emma alone with her thoughts and a strange shiver in her stomach.
Peering down at the leg draped over her hip, Emma dragged her bottom lip between her teeth, tasting faint hints of Regina's lipstick, and regarded the woman sleeping beside her. With a sigh, she figured Regina would be in an awful mood with her either way, and decided that falling asleep beside her couldn't place her any lower in the Regina's 'bad books' than she already was. At least Regina would probably be half out of it when she woke - the yelling wouldn't be that bad…she hoped.
I'm unsure about posting the second chapter to this. Does anyone actually want to (re)read it, or can I change this to 'complete'?