There was once a little author with a passion for yaoi. One day, she decided, "Hey, why not write a yaoi with my two favorite characters in it?" And thus, "I Need a Doctor" was created.

Now, the little author was going through a harsh period in her life. She had to deal with a stalkerish ex-boyfriend who wouldn't get the meaning of "FUCK OFF", and school bombarded her with work, trying to get her grades up for progress reports, so she neglected her dear story for well over a month.

But finally, after she was done with the stalker, she started typing away the new chapter! It was well over 13 THOUSAND words of pure, unadulterated SEX BETWEEN TWO SEXY MEN, but...

...her dear computer (named Envy, mind you) decided to play a prank on his owner! So what did Envy do? HE DELETED THE CHAPTER AFTER SHUTTING DOWN THE BROWSER (by ITSELF).

AAAALLL 13 thousand words were gone! So now the author, pissed off beyond belief, decided to write a shorter, stupider, and hopefully funnier chapter...which will never do justice to the previous smut scene that she had originally planned...*insert sigh here*

Fuck you, Envy!


Chapter 7: Cause and Reaction...

The day of his doctor's appointment was a rainy one. The sky was tainted gray and covered with black storm clouds, and the heavy downpour seemed to incapacitate vision ten times more than fog would. The occasional lightning would light up the city of Tokyo like the 4th of July, the booming thunder made the earth and windows shake terribly, the traffic was absolutely disgusting, and people were running to their homes or inside bars and restaurants to find refuge.

"Ah, what a wonderful day for a visit, isn't it, onii-chan?" Ichiru asked from his post by the window, looking at the disastrous scenery. His words were laced with a thick layer of sarcasm, as was the smile plastered on his face. He turned around to look at his twin, who was currently trying to multitask by putting his coat and shoes on, and eating. "You look positively ridiculous."

Lavender eyes that were a slightly darker shade than his own fixed him with a glare, a muffled, "Fuck you" directed at him. Zero proceeded to ignore his annoying-ass brother and continued eating the piece of toast in his mouth, trying very hard to ignore the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the window. He didn't like rainy days; bad things happened on rainy days. He finished buttoning his jacket — a Christmas gift from Yuuki, sweet darling (though sometimes stupid) — and laced his shoes, then approached Ichiru. "I'll try not to be late, but if you decide to go out before me, make sure to lock the door, yeah?" His words were a little rushed, his eyes glancing at the clock on the kitchen's wall every two seconds. He worried that the traffic would slow him down, so he had to hurry.

Ichiru rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. "Hai, hai...I know the rules, brother; we live together, remember?" Lightly pushing his twin towards the door, he only gave him the time to grab his car keys before fully shoving him out their shared apartment. "Now go, before you get stuck in that ugly traffic."

"Okay, okay, quit pushing, Ichiru!" Zero almost whined — almost — swatting away at the younger Kiryuu's hands. "Jeez, you're so nice to your older brother..."

"You're only older by a an hour or two, so shut it." He waited until Zero was halfway down the hallway to the elevators being calling after him. "Onii-san, try not to kill the Good Doctor, yeah?"

The older twin wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but right as the door shut behind him, the chiming ding! of the elevator caught his attention, and he forgot about the comment almost immediately.

His office was filled with the sweet scent of chocolate-flavored coffee and vanilla, a hint of caramel making the room warm and welcoming for whoever may enter it. The storm was barely audible thanks to the soundproof windows and walls, and the white blinds blocked out the ugly lightning.

Kaname didn't like thunderstorms. He used to, once upon a time, when he was younger. He started hating the rain the day of his parents' death, when the water made their car slide horribly on the asphalt, slamming against a lamppost. He was in the vehicle with them when it happened. He will forever remember the rivulets of blood spurting out of his parent's mutilated bodies, crushed under the weight of the lamp. Kaname had somehow managed to make it out of the accident alive and with some major wounds, but the mental and emotional trauma he'd underwent that day was far worse than any physical pain.

Shaking his head and pushing those depressing memories out of his mind, Kaname focused his attention back to his next patient's file, taking another sip of his coffee. He had the tendency of looking at the person's problem first, so that's what he did.

And he promptly growled.

"Another case of impotency?" he groaned out loud, rolling his wine orbs and frowning. "What the hell is wrong with people and their dicks, nowadays?"

Though he really shouldn't be one to talk. After all, truth be told, Kaname had initially decided to become a urologist to fix his own problem of impotency without having someone else looking at his penis. He'd never been comfortable with the idea of other men touching or seeing his naked body, for some reason, and trying to find a female urologist had been out of the question (if they even existed). Like hell was he gonna let a woman know that he couldn't get it up.

The first time Kaname realized he couldn't get erect for women was when he'd tried to have sex with Ruka a couple days after that thing with...with Zero—Gosh, even thinking his name was enough to make the brunet's heart skip a beat—had happened. No matter how hard she'd tried to arouse him—she'd given him a blow-job, a hand-job, she'd tried grinding, humping, kissing him sensually—in every way possible, but she'd gotten no reaction whatsoever. She'd eventually gotten mad and left, while Kuran had been shocked and confused out of his wits.

After that, no matter how many times he'd tried or with who, Kaname resigned to the fact that he must have had some sort of disease. Any tests he'd done to check up on that, however, had proved negative, instead showing he had an impeccable health.

It wasn't until he graduated with top grades in the urology department that he realized he swang the other way.

It had happened by accident, too. He'd been depressed because of another failed attempt at sex with a former college girl he remembered had the hots for him, and his friends—Takuma, Shiki, Aidou, and Akatsuki—had taken him out from bar to bar in order to distract him. Long story short, he'd gotten dead-ass drunk and ended up having sex with none other than his blond friend Hanabusa, of all people. They'd both brushed it off as an accident between two drunkards, but Kaname had always—and still did—suspect that the blond man had some sort of romantic feelings for him.

Anyway, that was the day he discovered he'd never had any erectile dysfunctions—he was just gay, plain and simple. And for only one man in particular; a certain silver-haired, lavender-eyed, devil-in-disguise, beauty that had caught his eye ever since he'd first seen him his first day of high school.

That, however, was not to say that Kaname hadn't had sex with other men. He'd always been the curious type, and since he couldn't remember his first experience because of his alcohol-clouded mind, he'd wanted to know what sex felt like with a man.

And God, how he's wished, every time, that his partner could have been well as the one after that, and the one after that, and the other one after that...

Now that he actually thought about it, Kaname had never been in a fixed relationship with a man. He'd only ever had one-night stands, sex with no strings attached—a shit-ton of 'em, to boot.

A knock at the door suddenly interrupter his train of thought, and he actually jumped a bit at the unexpected sound. He wasn't in the least surprised to see his secretary—Mrs. Shinohara was a capable thirty-two-year-old woman who was married to a lawyer and had two kids, though her figure didn't show so—walk in.

"Good morning, Kaname-san."

"'Morning," he mumbled back, not even bothering to hide his gloomy mood.

Shinohara smiled anyway. "Your first patient of the day is here, sir."

"Let him in, then." Let's get this over with...

The woman left the door open as she went to retrieve the patient, and Kaname simply kept sipping his coffee, indifferent to the whole world. He wondered what he'd eat for diner that night? He still had some leftover steak and spaghe—

"This way, please, Kiryuu-san."

—he chocked on the hot liquid, spilling half of it on his white coat, shirt, and carpet, as well as the front of his pants. The coffee burned his fingers, and he yelped in between coughing fits, letting the foam cup fall from his hands and onto the ground. His mind was reeling, not registering the pain properly; he was too busy staring, wide-eyed, at the man entering his office. His whole body went rigid, every muscle locking in place, hands clutching the arms of his chair in a sudden wave of sheer excitement and panic.

He wanted to believe that the white hair that graced his vision belonged to a rotting old man with the last name Kiryuu—it was a fairly common surname, after all—but the person presenting himself in front of him couldn't have been older than Kaname, himself. And the lean body clad in (deliciously wet) casual clothing was most definitely not an old man's, and neither were those long legs to die for.

His silver hair was a bit longer than he'd remembered, but there was no way in hell he could ever mistake those gorgeous lavender eyes. It was him.

"Z-Zero..." The name left the brunet's lips in a hushed whisper, but the silverette heard it loud and clear.

"Y-You'—" Too overpowered by the shock of seeing Kaname after so many years, Zero couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. He also couldn't bring himself to believe the man in front of him was really Kaname Kuran. He had the same perfect features as four years ago, the same regal feeling of superiority surrounding him. He could tell the brunet was as surprised by their meeting as he was, but the Bastard Kuran still managed to look almost elegant in his stupor. The way his whole body was locked up made his muscles stand to attention, straining inside the tight material of his white coat. His Adam's apple bobbed when he gulped, drawing Zero's violet gaze to the expensive clothes—stained by the coffee, but expensive nonetheless—underneath the only piece of uniform he was required to wear.

Damn, he looked good...

The secretary unceremoniously interrupted his thoughts by rushing to Kaname's side, immediately dabbing at his clothes with a towel that had apparently popped out of nowhere. "Kaname-san, are you okay, sir? What happened?"

But it appeared that said doctor couldn't hear any of her questions, too busy trying to comprehend how such a meeting could have been possible, just when he was thinking about the silverette. His mouth opened in closed like a fish's out of water, but no words came out, his throat too clogged up by suppressed emotions threatening to burst out at any moment.

Mrs. Shinohara stopped talking once she realized her boss wasn't going to pay attention to her any time soon. Her brown eyes shifted from Zero's face to Kaname's as she studied them. She felt like she was intruding in a special moment, and she briefly wondered what the relationship between the two could've been if they reacted so strongly upon meeting. The whole scene, to her, looked like it had been ripped right from a sappy, tear-inducing, romance movie. She expected the two to run into each other's arms in less than a second and start smooching like two love birds.

So it would be pretty understandable to say that she was terrified beyond belief when Zero's wide eyes suddenly narrowed into slits and a violent growl ripped from his chest.

Oh, he lunged, alright. For Kaname's throat.

Yuuki was practically dying from laughter, her small hands clutching at her belly as she fell sideways on the couch, screaming to the heaven's above in sheer glee. Ichiru, sitting beside her, was trying his best to reprimand her for her rude behavior, but he couldn't keep the giggles at bay.

Sitting in front of him, on the other couch opposite from his, was his boyfriend, Kain. The orange-haired man had a calm and collected, almost indifferent, expression on his face, though if Ichiru looked closely and attentively enough, he could just barely make out the hint of a small smile tugging at his lips.

And how could he not laugh, or at least smile, when presented with such a hideous situation?

Sitting to Kain's left was Zero. His back was hunched, his arms crossed, and his tightly-clenched fists tucked neatly under his armpits in an attempt to control himself. Oh, he was so tempted to flip the coffee table in front of him over and throw a tantrum like a three-year-old brat, but he had to learn to control his urges. He was utterly livid, pissed off as hell, and it showed in his stormy eyes, currently a dark shade of purple. His silver bangs cast a menacing shadow over his face, making him look even more intimidating, and his upper lip would twitch every now and then when Yuuki's giggles hit a particularly high pitch. He kept tapping his foot as a mean to distract himself, making his side of the couch shift and creak with the vicious movement.

On Kain's other side was Kaname, who was trying to sit as far away as possible from the older Kiryuu twin as the couch would allow. He was glad Akatsuki was in between him and the Devil, otherwise he was sure he would have already been dead. The bag of ice he was holding against his cheek was starting to numb the whole left side of his face, but he knew it was a necessity to keep it there, especially if he wanted the swelling to go down faster. There was little he could do about the ugly, blue bruise that had already started to form right beneath his left eye, or the cut on his lower lip. He could taste the rustiness of his blood, and every time he swiped his tongue over his upper row of teeth, he could swear he could feel one tooth wiggle under the pressure. Ugly, red, and angry scratch marks covered the expense of his throat and collarbone, his clothes were partly ripped and disheveled, and he was probably missing good chunks of hair. And as if all of that wasn't enough, the bump at the back of his head was starting to make itself known again, bringing along a new wave of throbbing headaches.

He seriously thought he would have died back at the hospital. Of all things he had expected Zero to do when they met, being attacked and almost killed was not one of them.

The second the silverette had lunged at him in his office, Kaname had known shit was about to go down. He'd only had the time to out his arms in front of his face before being tackled to the ground, his chair flying back—curse those damned wheels—and slamming against the wall, and head crushing down hard on the pavement. He thanked God he'd requested to have his floors carpeted, otherwise he would have most definitely busted his skull open. Black spots had marred his vision, but he hadn't been sure if it had been because of the impact or because Zero hands were chocking the living Jesus out of him.

Kaname unconsciously brought his free hand up to his neck and prodded the tender skin on the junction with his shoulder, where the worst of his wounds were. Surrounded by the countless bruises left from long fingers were two tiny holes, still bleeding and swelling, and throbbing. Hole left by Zero's sharper-than-normal canines when he bit him, possibly with the intention of ripping a good chunk of flesh off, but that was just a broad guess.

Thankfully, though, security had come right before Zero could do much else, and they'd immediately gotten a hold of the ravenous silver-haired demon. The Kiryuu kid had started thrashing around and trying to break free almost instantly, but his strength alone had been no match to that of the three buff men. He'd still managed to deliver a pretty darn good punch to Kaname's left cheek, however, one that had made the brunet pass out.

When he'd woken up, Kaname had found himself in Ichiru's apartment, in his bed, and the clock on the bedside table had read 4:30 pm. The younger twin had called both Yuuki and Akatsuki at his place, then things had proceeded to where they were at the moment.

"I-I can't b-b-believe...I...pfft!" Yuuki tried, and miserably failed, to clarify things. Never mind that her brother almost died, the whole ordeal was too fucking funny.

Zero growled at her, and though she heard it loud and clear, she couldn't bring herself to stop.

"Onii-san, this is gold," Ichiru interjected, chuckling and snorting through his nose, further angering his twin.

"Shut the fuck up, both of you," Zero finally snapped, hissing through his teeth. "I will fucking punch the daylights out of you, too, if you don't shut up right. Fucking. Now!" he screamed, his loud threat echoing in the suddenly silent apartment.

Even Kain, who had been seemingly unaffected by the whole situation, had cringed away from the silverette. Kaname resisted the urge to whimper, his previous near-death experience all-too-vivid in his mind, and Yuuki and Ichiru were shocked into an abrupt silence, their instincts telling them they would seriously be in danger if they continued.

"S-Sorry..." Ichiru apologized, and Yuuki nodded by his side, cowering and hiding behind his taller built.

"What the fuck is so funny, anyway? It's all your fault if we're all in this fucking situation." He directed an accusing glare at his brother, one that made the younger silverette swallow nervously.

"Um...I-I apologize, but...well..."

"We never imagined things would have ended up like this...I'm really sorry, Zero-kun!" Yuuki quickly continued, feeling like absolute shit. Zero was right, that was no laughing matter. Her brother had been close to death by the hands of her best friend, and it was her fault. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, and when she blinked they fell over her cheeks.

Kaname's reaction was instantaneous. His instincts as her (overprotective) brother kicked in, and he rose from the couch to crouch by her side, pulling her into a hug. The second he entered Zero's field of vision, the silverette's hands twitched, wanting to grab onto him and drag him into a separate room to finish what he'd started in the office. Kain, however, was too perceptive for his own good, and he grabbed the collar of his shirt to prevent him from going anywhere. "Hush, Yuuki, don't cry," Kaname's voice broke through the awkward silence, gaining everyone's attention. The younger Kuran was silently sobbing into her brother's chest, while he rubbed soothing circles on her back. "It's not your fault, neither it's Ichiru's."

"B-But, Z-Zero-kun—"

"'Zero-kun'," he repeated in a sarcastic tone, "needs to learn to keep his anger at bay. Anger issues like his could turn into an eventual health and mental problem if he doesn't do anything about tha—oh, shit." The brunet's head snapped immediately around once he realized what he'd said. The words hadn't even registered in his mind before he spoke them, and when he did it was far too late to take them back—the damage had already been done.

All three pairs of eyes were fixed upon Zero as Kaname's words hung in the air, a tense silence surrounding them. The older Kiryuu's mouth hung open in shock, a disbelieving look etched on his features. Kaname's loud gulping could be heard, as well as Yuuki's softly whispered, "Uh-oh..." Kain met Ichiru's worried gaze with his own troubled one, and his hold on Zero's shirt tightened.

Not that it helped with anything.

"You fucking bastard, I'll KILL YOU!"

The horrible sound of clothes ripping echoed in Kaname's ears like an explosion, but even worse was the sight of the silverette leaping from the couch, out of Kain's grasp, over the coffee table, and towards him. In a split second, right before Zero could swing another punch, the older Kuran brother pushed Yuuki away and into Ichiru's arms, and used the momentum to jump away from the couch. Stumbling to his feet, he didn't even look behind him as he started running towards the conjoined kitchen, finding refuge behind the island. He broke into a cold sweat when he saw Zero scramble to his feet and lunge into his general direction.

He was glad to see Ichiru and Kain tailing right behind him, and he let out a sigh of relief. Surely, by the time Zero circled around the island to get to him, the other two men would already have a hold on him.

Except, Zero didn't bother running around the counters. He leaped right over them.

The the last thing leaving Kaname's throat that evening was an all-too-feminine shriek of "Fuck!"

So, yeah...not exactly what I had originally planned, but I guess this makes more sense to the plot...



I have started another collab story with my dearest ultimma. gothicca! This time it's a Death Note fic (*leGASP!*)! And it's a MettxMello, and other pairing, fic (*leDOUBLEGASP*)! It's called "Matt and Mello's Effing Movie", and it's based around the movie "Zack and Miri Make a Porno". And guess what? It's about Matt and Mello making a motherfucking porno! It will be dirty, it will be sexy, and it will be romantic, and a fucking crack fic! So please check it out!

Also, another collab I'm writing is with Eternal White Rose. If there's anyone out there who's a fan of Gackt and/or Yuuya Matsushita, please check it out! It's on her profile, called "Red Petals". Please have a look if you're interested~! Doumo arigatou gozaimashita~!

R&R, kudasai~! Give me some happiness...and sorry again for being so late!