Authors note: This series has taken me over the brink of heartbreak and back. I was first encouraged to write it by my spectacular, Brilliant and loving friend, "BrandyGold" and without her constant pep talks, sanity saving hugs, and her ability to bring out the best in me, these new chapters would not have been possible to write.
She is my avenger, my personal superhero. She saved me from the darkest part of my life, helping me write all my feelings out, and when we do visit together, it is the one time I am truly happy.
So with a tender heart, I re-introduce the story, on behalf of her. For today is the anniversary of when we first met, and that would have not happened if i hadnot been brave enough to write this in the first place.
.day. we write countless stories, and I am eternally grateful for having a friend like her.
I love you so very much Ashley, and thank you, for helping me learn to love again.
(I realize this is usually when I switch to Loki's view,but I felt the scenes would be better from Tony's.)
Loki sniffles and looks at him, utterly lost. Awoken from his nightmare in a fit of heartache. They had fallen asleep on the couch, next to the warm fireplace after their first meal shared together. Loki shivers despite the heat, and Tony worries.
All Tony wants to do is hold him, tell him it will be ok. "Please?" He extends his hand, waiting. Loki gives him a tiny smile, then bursts into wracking sobs. He clutches Tony's hand like a lifeline. "Tony it wasn't me, I would never... I was lost and, I... couldn't find my way. How can you ever forgive me?" He cries and Tony's heart wrenches.
"Loki, hey... Look at me..." he tilts his lover's chin up and kisses him, sweetly and slowly. Loki goes to move away but He holds Loki's hand over the tub, and keeps him there. He kisses him until Loki yields, a muffled sob of relief that works its way past their lips. Tony parts for a moment to look kindly into Loki's eyes. "I know love. There is nothing to forgive. I t wasn't you." He takes a stray strand of Loki's hair and tucks it behind his ear.
Tony sighs greatly and the exhaustion of the last few days catches up with him. "Carry me to the bed will you? I need to sleep." Tony's shoulders and back thrum with healing magic, and watches his lover towel himself dry. Their baths together always soothed them both. Tony never wanted them to end.
Loki dips his hands in the water and Tony folds into them. Loki helps him up and out of the tub to stand him on his feet, passing a towel to dry him off with. Tony notices how careful he is, almost as if he is afraid to touch him at all. Once he is dry, Loki helps him into bed. Tony moans in delight at the cool sheets and flips over to his stomach. As he snuggles one arm under the pillow, he notices Loki heading for the door again.
"Don't go." He asks softly.
Loki turns in the door way and looks away from him.
"You still wish to be with me?" He asks, barely above a whisper. "Even after all this?"
"Always Loki." Tony says and smiles when his lover glides over to the bed. "I gave you a piece of my heart. I need to feel it again. I need you near me. Now come here, I want to hold you."
Loki slips into the blankets and snuggles close to him. Tony reaches out and finds Loki's hand in the darkness. He holds it tight, and notices that his leg doesn't hurt anymore. "You fixed me?" he asks, knowing the answer. Loki nods and his eyes flick down for a moment. "Thank-you." He says and pulls Loki close to his chest, one arm warped around his waist.
Tony nudges forward and Loki meets him half way. They kiss, long and slow, letting their emotions out through the passion of their embrace. Tony clutches Loki tight in his arms, sensing the urgent need of Loki. To be held. To be close. To be loved unconditionally. He can feel his lover's body shake with the want of it. And Tony gives it to him. Time falls to the wayside and they loose themselves in each others body's.
They are connected, whole, for a fleeting moment. They linger this way for a very long time. Two souls becoming one, at long last.
Loki is the first to tire, and Tony watches his lover sleep. He runs one hand over the curve of Loki's hips, up his side, and finally down his arm. He works his fingers under Loki's own and smiles when Loki sighs in his sleep.
He just lies there, holding his lovers hand until the grey of a new dawn brightens the horizon. He draws Loki in close, and rests his head beside Loki's. He closes his eyes and drifts into a beautiful dream.
-The next morning-
Tony awakens with a kiss to the back of his neck, and he wiggles closer as Loki pulls his hips in.
"Good-morning pet." Loki purrs in his ear, and gently kisses down his spine.
Tony moans in desperation and he feels Loki's hand slip into his waistband. "Mmmmm... Ah... Goodmorning yourself Loki," he smirks and twists himself so he faces his lover.
He smiles and touches their forehead together, and then his mouth forms a little "o" of surprise when the gods wandering hands reach down underneath him and begin to knead his soft flesh. "Please don't stop darling." Tony grunts and steals Loki's mouth for his own.
The dark god chuckles softly and Tony feels a cool finger circle his tight ring, and his breathing hitches.
"May I continue?" Loki asks, reaching for a bottle of warm lubricant. "Your colour dear Anthony?"
Tony lets his hand cup his lovers face, and strokes a high cheekbone. "Green, thank you for remembering."
Tony wraps his other hand around the gods waist and hauls him close, needing to feel their chests touch, and to share their very breath together. Tony opens his legs, and his thigh shivers as Loki sneaks his arm underneath, and begins to circle his entrance with loving strokes.
"I'm sorry." Loki says again, and Tony kisses his cheek. "I know, its alright now." He consoles and bucks his hips, signalling for Loki to push in. He gasps at the intrusion, already knowing that he's going to be impossibly tight, but he is trusting Loki to take his time.
This is a tipping point for the both of them, a precarious dance atop a sharp sword. If they move too fast, or someone mis-steps, Tony knows they'll never recover.
He doesn't realize he's been holding his breath until Loki starts massaging his stomach, encouraging him gently. "I've got you." The god murmurs in his nods into his chest, and the finger is withdrawn to make way for a cool object. "Oh... Good idea." Tony smiles at the thought, and the lubricant syringe is pushed deep inside him, and his body is flooded with warm jell. He squirms uncomfortably, the feeling of being full, with no object inside him is odd. "It's hot." Tony manages and his muscles clench down on themselves, trying to bring a small amount of relief.
"I hoped it would sooth you." Loki purrs and breaches him with two fingers now. Tony kicks up, and throws his leg over Loki's hips. "My god... Close already...Loki..." He pants, desperate for release after weeks of pent up emotions. "Please.. Please please." He begs and Tony feels the pressure of Loki's fingers bear down on his prostate. He's dimly aware he's babbling nonsense now, and rocking his hips in desperation.
The god takes the dominant pose and bites down on Tony's shoulder junction, and he screams as a mark is given to him. He rakes his fingers down Loki's back, tearing though the light material and causing the first sound of unbridled passion to escape his lovers mouth in weeks.
"Come on Lokes!" He squirms, his own voice high with arousal. He demands to let himself go, and-
Tony spends hard, painting Loki's chest and crying out his soulmate's name at the top of his lungs. He wraps his feet around Loki's hips, rutting in to the cold hand in an effort to quell the fire in his gut.
"Loki! Ah! Fuck love, again, please again!" He cries and pulls at Loki's hair, making the god his. Far from satisfying him, the orgasm has made him greedy, and he attacks his lovers mouth, drinking in the sweet mint taste he's missed so much. A third finger is added, and Tony can feel the burn now. His heart skips a beat, and he freezes in place for a moment, adjusting.
"Breathe Anthony, It will pass." Loki licks a stripe up his neck that sends Tony into hard shakes.
His legs wobble of their own accord, and he can't seem to keep them open anymore. He slumps his raised leg over, but Loki is there in a heartbeat, holding his ankle down against the bed.
"Tight..." He blurts, and Loki loosens his grip, simply holing the leg still. A burst of colour hits the back of his brain as Loki finds his sweet spot again, and he forgets how to function, beyond simply feeling the pull and push of Loki's fingers inside him. Tony pants into his lovers chest, gasping for air as the fingers twist inside him and he looks up to the god responsible for his pleasures. Loki smiles kindly at him, and begins a slow and smoldering kiss, one he recognizes as an attempt to distract him for what is about to happen.
Abruptly, the fingers are withdrawn, and Tony shivers at the horrible empty feeling.
"Shhh, almost pet, feel this? I'm going to go nice and slow. I want you to keep your eyes on mine as I sink into you. I want to watch your every expression as I re make my claim." Loki growls playfully.
Tony feels Loki's head press into him, stretching him anew, and he balks slightly as the thick hood pops through his lube soaked ring of muscles. "Slow." He asks and true to his word, stares deeply into the forest green eyes, transfixed by the shine of brilliance. A feeling of love sinks into his bones, and he relaxes as Loki slips farther inside him. Loki's finger traces his stubble and he pauses at Tony's lips. He playfully laps at the digit, and takes Loki's wrist as he sucks gently around it.
"Remember when we were lost inside the fog? And when you found me, you stole my lips for your own?" Loki asks, and he is taken back to the memory, as Loki gently sinks to the hilt. Tony's vision blurs through tears of pain and joy, and his heart soars back to the moment of their first kiss.
Suddenly Tony stops dead behind him. Tony struggles to pull backwards, and he's not to Sure if it really is Loki, or some frost giant trick. He feels the presence stop, and a cool hand slides up his back. It's small and light, and he is nearly positive this is Loki. A second hand is paced over Tony's head to cover his eyes. The touch is soft and /intimate/ and he is drawn back to the memory of the cave, when Loki poured his magic Into him, to save him from the cold.
He can almost hear a voice, like a ghost whispering in his ear.
Remember this? Do you remember sitting there as I poured a piece of my magic and my heart into yours?
Tony reaches out and places his hand on Loki's chest, trying to say,
I know you, I know your heart Loki. You saved me. From the cold, but also...you took the pain away from my heart. The loneliness is gone.
Loki is stock still under his hands, and Tony moves up his chest and around the back of his neck. He feels Loki shiver at the touch. From excitement or fear, he cannot tell, but he continues to move, as if caught in a spell after all.
He cards his hands up through the crown of Loki's head and then follows his long strands of hair to his ear. Tony cups his other hand on the opposite side of Loki's head and he knows full well he is going to far, but he can't seem to stop.
He traces the line of the gods eyebrows, down his nose, and across his high cheekbones with both hands now.
The flesh warms under his hands, and Tony realizes the raven haired god is blushing at this now intimate caress. He takes his time, guiltily memorizing his companions face, knowing he won't get the chance again.
Something pinches in his heart, and he decides to take a risk. His hands follow Loki's jaw line now, and he realizes he's blushing too, even his fingertips are hot. Lastly Tony's hands come to a stop under the gods chin and he draws one thumb across his lips. Tony is terrified now, his own breath coming in pants, sure that Loki will gut him were he stands for what he's about to do. Tony realizes he can hear slightly again, when a soft sigh catches his attention, and he realizes Loki has opened his mouth, expecting... Waiting for him. He steels his mind and-
He brushes his lips softly against Loki's at first, still unsure if this is what they want. But another cry of longing escapes Loki's lips, and Tony moves one hand behind his head and brings him closer for a smoldering kiss. He can feel Loki hesitate at first, so he pulls the god close, an arm around his waist now, and Tony feels Loki surrender to his companion's embrace.
Tony kisses him hungerly, craving more of his companions intoxicating passion, and he nearly bucked when Loki begins to kiss him fiercely.
Tony forgets to breathe, and loses all thought as he kisses the god again and again, each impact igniting a fire in his spine.
He breaks contact for a moment, just to breathe again, and he can see the fog dissolving around them. Within moments he can see Loki's flushed face and bright, tantalizing green eyes, begging silently for more.
Tony is pulled from his dreamlike state, and realizes Loki was peering into his mind as he remembered. "You did know it was me. You sly fox." Loki chuckled and nipped Tony's collarbone as he began to rock into him.
"What was that?" Tony asks, still intoxicated with magic.
"I did nothing, you shared your mind with me, through this." Loki smiles and taps his arc reactor.
Tony gasps as Loki begins to thrust harder, his lovers cock pistoning in and out with a natural rhythm.
"Yes but-" he began, and Loki's mouth was on his before he could finish. He fought for breath at the exotic kiss Loki was pressing down onto him, and he moaned frustratedly as his lover deliberately began missing his prostate with his thrusts.
"Come on.. That's cheating." Tony whined and he winced as Loki's long nails dug into the meat of his hip, pulling him closer.
"God of mischief." Loki laughs and grinds deep into him. "It's who I am."
Tony closes his eyes, getting lost in he sensation of Loki moving inside him, and his mind begins to spin.
"No pet, open please." Loki asks and Tony feels a kiss over too of each eyelid.
He opens them to find his world blurry with unshod tears.
Tony feels Loki stop moving, and he wiggles uncomfortably. "Am I hurting you?"
Tony shakes his head. "Just emotional. Keep going."
He's drowning in his feelings, tossed about by his love for Loki, his heartache at being separated, and his fear still lingering in the back of his mind that something is going to make Loki leave. A light kiss of his fingertips catches his attention, and Tony blushes, embarrassed.
"Caught adrift in a daydream pet?" Loki asks and rocks gently into him now.
"Just thinking of you." He admits and holds Loki's back as he pushes down on his lover.
The sensation of Loki inside him is becoming so familiar, that Tony is nearly peaceful. He feels better, and although his body craves release still, the urge is placed to the side. There's something more going on now, as if this act of lovemaking is connecting them, more in spirit than in flesh.
Tony knows Loki can feel it too, and he groans as he feels the familiar cooling sensation of Loki's magics flow into his body, and anchor into his bones. Tony is tethered to his mate, and when he moves back, Loki moves forward. A gentle cycle of push and pull.
His mouth hangs open, and he stares into his lovers eyes, wanting to ask so many things, but all the words falling away as his world narrows to only this. A small ache forms in his chest, and he looks down to see his reactor light glow amber in colour. He panicked for the space of a heartbeat, but Loki tilts his head up again. The smile he sees is heartbreakingly beautiful, and the god seems to be weeping.
He knows in an instant, that whatever is happening, is somehow natural, and Tony relaxes, melting into his lovers embrace. He inhales sharply when Loki's now frigid hands enclose his hips, and his abdomen aches fiercely from the cold. Loki reaches on the nightstand for the rune Tony refuses to let out of his sight.
"Anthony, do you want this?" Loki asks, and he can feel heat now as the stone with the little "x" on it is pushed just under his belly button. Tony feels immensely heavy and he clings to Loki for dear life.
"Mate, I'll ask you one more time, will you accept our gift?" He asks, and Tony's eyes widen when he realizes what Loki is doing to his body. He feels drawn to the stone, and his body burns under it's touch, but he wants it, he craves what is happening to him with a wave of joy so intense it nearly smothers him.
"Yes Loki, I accept. Please... I want this. I need you to... Ah!" He manages and his lover presses the stone deep inside his body, and Tony howls as his and Loki's magics meld it into his abdomen, and there it changes him inside. He struggles at the unfamiliar sensations, but Loki is right there, soothing him with kind words and cold spells to quell the furnace that's now inside him.
Something shifts in his body, and when Loki moves inside him, it feels slicker, more sensitive, and he nearly blacks out from the pleasure. "Loki, I need you." He gasps and claws down his lovers body, the urgency of before back ten fold.
"Just a little longer Anthony, we get once chance at this." He moans and touches their foreheads together. Tony cries out, his passion overwhelming him, and he screams Loki's name as the light in his chest grows painfully bright. Loki is howling his bliss too, and Tony feels the god spill into his body, ice cold and he sobs with relief as the fire in his belly is quenched.
Tony holds Loki tightly, and breathes in his lovers scent as he comes down from his roller coaster high. He's dimly aware of Loki stroking his hair, and he giggles as he feels the god continues to spill inside him, intoxicated from their act.
"Mmmm... I love you Lokes." He mummers drunkenly and Loki hums appreciatively and kisses him tenderly. "I love you too, my sweet Anthony."
Tony awakes sometime later, and happily nuzzles closer into the gods chest. For the first time in a very long time, he's content, and his heart feels... Full.
It's a good feeling.
He stretches his cramped legs, and blushes horribly when he realizes that Loki is still inside him. He tightens when he blushes, and Loki stirs in his arms.
"Let us languish a bit longer please." The god sighs and pulls Tony close.
"I could sleep more. Feels like I ran a marathon, with my armor on." Tony groans and feels Loki harden inside him as he shifts restlessly. "Again?" He asks, and Loki smiles at him wolfishly.
"I am a god." He says by way of explanation. "Just be thankful you did not bed my brother, he would have spent until your belly was full, and then bathed you just so he could fill you again."
Tony laughed wholeheartedly. "Can that be a goal? I could be up for that. Feels like you already are." He smothers a laugh in the gods arm and he can feel Loki roll his eyes.
"Always with puns Anthony. Are you incapable of speaking without innuendos?" Loki said and nipped Tony's ear playfully.
"Don't know, probably not." He chuckled and yelped when Loki sat upright pulling him up by the cock inside him and a hand on his neck.
"I believe we should bathe, and then I will ful-fill my promise to you."
"Oh that's cheating again."
"It's how I play my
The pair laughed and loved until the sun set, and fell asleep in each others arms.
And deep inside Tony, their gift to one another began to grow.