And I Still Love Him
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (movies, books, cool stuff, the boy and any sort of etc. type stuff) which includes any of its characters or dialogue. I also don't own any other book, movie, song, character, or dialogue I may have mentioned along the way. I just so happened to use it for non-profitable fun in my spare time.
Severus had always had an unbreakable crush on Lily Evans and if I were to be truthful to you… Severus loved Lily. But Lily never knew it and once Severus had said those unforgivable words, she hadn't given him a second look. Then Lily Evans loved James as James Potter had always loved Lily, and that had been the end of it. Lily and James were married and they had a little boy named Harry. Severus had been alone.
I, Astrid Sinford, had always had a crush on Severus Snape and if I were to be truthful to you… I later came to love him. But I was the shy Hufflepuff that Severus never noticed, that he didn't care about when Lily walked in, that he never talked to. And Severus would never let go of his love for Lily Evans, and in his sadness he found the Death Eaters. I was left alone.
When Lily died was when Severus was at his lowest and when he first paid me any sort of notice. I held him as he cried and comforted him as he remembered her and realized what his precious Death Eaters had done. I was there for him in his darkest time and for that he was grateful to me. Neither of us would forget it.
Then we started working together after that, Severus leaving the Death Eaters once they had supposedly been disbanded, Dumbledore appointing him as the Potions Master. I had been working at Hogwarts as the Assistant Charms teacher almost since I had graduated from Hogwarts. We were friends and I enjoyed that more than anything. I even made him smile once.
Then things changed when Harry Potter came to the school, things got worse when Severus killed Dumbledore and I couldn't do anything when the Battle at Hogwarts began. I could remember fighting the Death Eaters, the werewolves, the dementors, the giants. I could remember fighting old friends and new ones, fighting the people I loved and the people I hated. I could remember seeing people I love die right in front of me and fighting twice as hard to avenge them. But most of all, I could remember Severus dying in my arms.
"No! Please, no!"
"I'm here, Severus. Right here. I can fix this. Let me think. Episkey! Totanavit! Apapneo! Reparifors! Sanavita! Tergeo! Salvumvita! Vulnera Sanentur! Please!"
"Astrid… It's alright,"
"Shh. It's alright. It's fine,"
Severus Snape died in my arms, the great Harry Potter sitting beside us.
I remember when I met Severus Snape. It was so clear that he was the only one for me though he had no idea. But time went on and things became more complicated.
Severus Snape was kind, gentle, giving, loyal… and no one knew it but me. I always got the sense that he became torn between what he wanted and what was right… between himself and being the loyal hero that no one knew we needed. And in the way I understood him. He was like no man that I had ever met or ever will meet.
I loved him… and I still love him.