p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongHow Long Have I Been In This Storm/strong/embr /emstrongSo Overwhelmed By The Ocean's Shapeless Form/strong/embr /emstrongWater's Getting Harder To Tread/strong/embr /emstrongWith These Waves Crashing Over My Head/strong/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Angel grabbed his notebook, writing a few quick words down and trying not to think about anything for a few minutes. He missed Buffy, and that was an understatement. To feel as though his entire body was ripped into pieces might be more accurate./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He'd picked up the phone so many times. He'd wrote her letter after letter. He hopped in his car countless times. But none of it ever went anywhere./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He'd listen to her say hello a few times then hang up. He would fold the letters up and put them all in a pile and hide them away. He would just sit in the car for hours./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He remained lost./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongIf I Could Just See You/strong/embr /emstrongEverything Would Be Alright/strong/embr /emstrongIf I'd See You/strong/embr /emstrongThis Darkness Would Turn To Light/strong/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Angel knew his pain would go away upon being near his again love, to just go back to Sunnydale, back to her. To beg her to forgive him for leaving and to take him back. Angel knew he'd feel better, his heart would heal./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"But only for so long. Only until it broke all over, only until the world fell apart around them once more. The same reasons for why he was here and not there remained. And they were not going away any time soon./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongAnd I Will Walk On Water/strong/embr /emstrongAnd You Will Catch Me When I Fall/strong/embr /emstrongAnd I Will Get Lost Into Your Eyes/strong/embr /emstrongI Know Everything Will Be Alright/strong/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Some days, some moments, ones like this... he almost didn't care. He just wanted to return to everything he knew, everything he loved./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongI Know You Didn't Bring Me Out Here To Drown/strong/embr /emstrongSo Why Am I Ten Feet Under And Upside Down/strong/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"But he would hold strong, hard as it was. He would think of Joyce coming to him, he would think of his turning back into the monster Angelus. He would remember the horrible things he had done when the demon was back, running the show. Angel would think about all the things the young slayer deserved, and all the things he couldn't give her./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It didn't mean it made things any easier./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He knew she had to move on, she had to be as normal of a girl as she could be. Angel knew she deserved some light in her life, not only darkness. And that was all he was./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He needed to find his own happiness, though not perfect, somewhere as well. He couldn't spend his life guilty, hating himself for holding her back./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongBarely Surviving Has Become My Purpose/strong/embr /emstrongBecause I'm So Used To Living Underneath The Surface/strong/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"So far, that plan wasn't going so well though. You know, with the moping and all./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He didn't feel anything really, other than overwhelming sadness and confusion. Being so back and forth on his own selfish wants and doing what was seemingly the right thing./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"So he just went on. One undead day after another. /p