Alas I do not on SPN. However if I did I couldn't promise that there'd be less pain (Sorry). This fic was inspired by a gif set series over on Tumblr created by thespywhospies. I loved them so much I felt like they should be made into a series of drabbles.
Castiel watched in mild disgust as the man sitting across the booth from him greedily devoured his bacon cheeseburger.
"I would have thought that angels would have had better table manners," he said, taking a bite from his own burger, watching as sauce dribbled down Dean's chin.
"Dude, I thought by now you realized that I'm not your 'ordinary angel,'" puting emphasis on "ordinary angel". Castiel sighed. Dean did have a point; he had always been far from what Castiel would have expected angels to be like. In fact, if he remembered correctly, Dean's first words to him were something along the lines of "Hi, I'm Dean, I'm an Angel of the Lord. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women, and I'm the one that dragged your sorry ass outta Hell." His name wasn't really Dean, Castiel learned later, it was actually Vianuel, but it was too "hoity toity" for the angel (not to mention a pain to pronounce), so he went by his vessel's name of Dean.
"Hello… Earth to Cas," he blinked.
"Dude, you gotta stop zoning out on me like that."
"Why? It's not like you ever have anything thing of importance to say."
Dean gasped in mock offense. "You wound me."
Castiel rolled his eyes as Dean smirked. Before they could continue the conversation, their waitress, a rather blonde busty woman, interrupted them.
"Can I get you boys anything else?"
"There's a lot you could get me," Dean smirked again. "But right now you could get me a slice of that apple pie."
"Sure thing, sweetie."
"I don't understand your obsession with food, Dean."
"It's a thing of beauty, Cas." Dean drawled as he watched the waitress' hips sway as she left to prepare his pie slice. "Just because I don't have to eat, doesn't mean I can't enjoy it.".
The waitress returned and winked as she set the pie down in front of Dean.
"It's on the house."
"Thanks. That'll be all for now. Maybe later you might be able to get me something else?" he winked.
She giggled. "My shifts over in an hour."
Castiel watched her walk as she walked behind the counter once more. "Must you always be like that?"
"Like what, Cas?" Dean took a bite of pie, watching with amusement as Castiel got visibly more irritated.
"Must you engage in flirtatious behavior with every woman that we meet?"
"Wait a minute. Cas, you got it all wrong. I don't flirt with every woman that we meet. Just the ones that my father gifted with certain, ummmm, gifts." Dean peered back down the row at their waitress.
Castiel sighed muttering to himself. "Are you 102% sure you're an angel?"
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Come on let's get going, need to get gas before we find a motel."
Castiel pulled into the gas station and got out to fill up the Impala.
"Imma gonna go inside and have a look around," Dean said, before disappearing.
Castiel just rolled his eyes. After the Impala was filled and ready to go, Castiel wandered inside to find Dean and to get himself a Diet Coke for later as well. As Castiel stood in front of the cooler, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Dean holding a pie.
"Cas! Cas! Look it's raspberry pie!"
"Dean, you just had pie at the dinner…"
"That was apple pie. Dude, money. Buy now." Castiel sighed as Dean attempted to make big green puppy eyes at him.
"Fine, you useless freeloader. Angel my ass." He grabbed the pie from Dean walked to the front trying to ignore the boisterous laughter coming from the angel behind him.
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Also once again a shameless promotion for you all to go to Tumblr and check out the gif sets. Seriously go do it.