So, if you follow the new Teen Titans Go! series you'll be aware that an episode summary has been circling, and though not officially confirmed, it's safe to say it's legit. Basically, the premise was that Beast Boy and Raven were matched on a dating site, so I wanted to see if I could pull that off in canon and in character with the original Teen Titans animated series!
Reviews are love.
Jonah Fitzpatrick hated the Titans. He was the local news correspondent, the kind that believed the heroes were to blame for the danger in the first place. With every report he made, and every time he found himself in the midst of a catastrophe and risking his life for the sake of his scoop, he simply grew more and more resentful of the Titans' presence. He was a stereotype, and he knew it, and he hated it, and that he took out on the Titans as well.
He was a balding man who wore a none-too-convincing toupe that slid down his forehead on hot summer days, his face was marked by deep-set crow's feet and his eyes were dark and flat. He hunched over his desk and ruffled his papers in his large, calloused hands. He licked his thin lips as his shoulders rolled back into the pads of his too-large suit.
Robin sat upon the couch in the common room, his torso was lunged forward and his elbows rested upon his knees, his face held up by his hands as he scowled unwaveringly at the large screen. In tonight's news Mr Fitzpatrick was squirming, but Robin could not yet permit himself a smirk. For the past month or so Jonah Fitzpatrick had been mercilessly raving about how the Titans, and any heroes for that matter, held themselves above the general public simply because of their 'natural privileges'. Apparently, the Titans had no interest in associating with those that they saved. Robin had released a statement directly to the television company, explaining that all of their down-time was spent organising and training to keep them at top form in order to prevent disaster. In fact, the only reason Robin was watching the garbage was because he needed to hear his statement being read, and seeing Mr Fitzpatrick's face as he struggled to compose himself would surely be a bonus.
However, it didn't take long for Robin to realise that things were about to go rocketing south. Jonah cleared his throat, and ruffled his papers once again. He scoffed a little under his breath before making the announcement, but what he didn't read was Robin's statement. Robin's eyes widened and his mouth gaped at every word that left the aging man's lips.
"The Titans, in their official statement, claim that they have no qualms with any resident of our fine city. Yet, do they interact with anyone other than their adoring, mindless fans? Do they have a single friend among us? Doubtful, at best." Jonah's scowl intensified and for a fraction of a second he appeared to be looking away from the camera, to something, or perhaps someone behind it, and with a self-satisfied smirk he continued. "As ever, the Titans are to be the guests of honour at our annual founder's day ball. Of course, the city was much greater upon its founding, long before their interference. I propose that the Titans each bring a civilian date to this momentous occasion, with the exceptions of course of Robin and Starfire, who I assume will be attending together."
Though a small part of Robin wanted to heave a sigh of relief that he was off the hook, his relationship with Starfire having been public since Tokyo, he groaned at the knowledge that he'd have to tell his friends exactly what they were expected to do.
It was later that afternoon that Robin called an emergency meeting. The Titans all sat studiously before their leader as he paced back and forth, his head bowed and his fingers stroking mindlessly against his chin in contemplation.
"Come on, man! You gonna tell us what's up or what?" Cyborg complained, they'd only been there a minute or two but the mechanical man was growing impatient and was sure that Robin was blowing something out of proportion.
"Seriously, dude, there's a slasher movie marathon on in like 20 minutes!" Beast Boy whined from beside his best friend.
"Please, Robin. What troubles you?" Starfire asked tentatively, her usually exuberant voice laced with worry.
Of course, it was at Starfire's plea that Robin acknowledged the world beyond himself, Raven rolled her eyes at the pair and in doing so she made eye contact with Beast Boy, he inclined his head at the couple and made a theatrical gagging expression. Raven permitted him a small smirk before she clamped her teeth on it to keep it from growing.
"I have some bad news Titans, well, not bad in the strictest sense, but we've got ourselves a situation that we'll need to handle delicately." The Boy Wonder started hesitantly.
He then proceeded to explain to the Team what had occurred during the 5 o'clock news. They all sat staring blindly with faces of pure horror, none of them really having the words to voice what they were feeling, none of them entirely sure how to feel. Surprisingly, it was Raven who broke the silence.
"No." She stated simply, she then lifted her hood and her chin and made to leave the room.
"Raven, this isn't a negotiation." Robin spoke calmly, not wanting to incur her wrath, but knowing that Jonah Fitzpatrick had been looking for just this opportunity. If they bowed out of this obvious challenge then it would be only too easy for him to twist their refusal and make the townsfolk believe everything he'd said about them to be true.
Raven, being just as intelligent and nearly as observatory as Robin, had also made these deductions; but it was her knee-jerk reaction to refuse such a ridiculous situation. She was not someone to allow others to manipulate her in such a way. But, she could also see the situation they were in and what the consequences of her refusal would be.
With a heavy, disgruntled sigh she took her seat beside Beast Boy, who was staring blankly at Cyborg as he stared straight back, both of them catching flies and unblinking. She elbowed him none too gently and as he jumped and turned to whine at her, rubbing at his ribs, he snapped out of his reverie.
"But, Robin, we don't know anyone to bring as a date?" Beast Boy stated half out of bewilderment and half begrudgingly.
"Exactly. Jonah Fitzpatrick wasn't really wrong was he?" Raven added.
"And we can't afford to cut down on our training; even I can admit that we've been getting sloppy." Cyborg admitted in a grumble. "So, how are we supposed to meet anyone?"
Robin dragged his hand over his face, pausing momentarily to rub at his temples as he gave an exasperated sigh. It seemed they were at a loss.
"Friends, would it not be a help to us to use the site of the dating?" Starfire piped up, cheery as ever.
The three Titans in question looked at one another, none of them particularly convinced. Robin simply smiled fondly at Starfire and tried his hardest to conceal his surprise that her suggestion had been genuinely helpful.
"That might be the most beneficial plan, Titans. You can't just take a fan, the media will see straight through that. If you apply for a dating service, you'll be matched by an indifferent third-party; you'll meet your date before the ball and then just have to put up with them for that one evening. And at least with a dating site you're more likely to find somebody you'll get along with." Robin reasoned. "And since you don't have to leave the tower, we don't need to cut down on our training schedule. You'll each spend an hour on the website per evening to check activity and converse with any matches you have. Sound reasonable?"
Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg grunted in unison and were quickly dismissed. With an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, Raven knew this was gonna be a long, tiresome process.