Disclaimer: the original character of fifty shades of grey are own by E.L James.

story line is mine as are any additional characters therein.

Diaries of a broken heart

I wake up in the middle of the night turning around looking for Christian; but yet again his spot is empty. I don't know why I still get disappointed when he's not there, he spends more nights at work than at home.

It's always the same excuse, meetings or late drinks with important people. I miss the Christian who would leave anything to spend time with me.

It's been a year since me and Christian welcomed our son Teddy and things have changed since then, Christian and I barely get to see each other. His schedule seems to conflict with mine when I try to spend sometime with him.

I feel alone. I love him, but I can feel my heart breaking every time he ignores me.

Tomorrow we will be having Teddy's one-year birthday party. I'm actually looking forward to it. I love my baby boy so much.

Our family doesn't know we are having problems, not even Kate, but I'm just so tired of pretending to be happy. I have been trying to get Christian to talk to me; but he always makes an excuse and tells me everything is okay and that it's all in my head.

The next morning I'm up early. As I turn to get up I see Christian. I didn't even notice him get home last night. I was exhausted. I reach over and kiss his forehead.

"Oh Christian, I miss you so much. I wish you understood how much I need you right now."

I'm trying to get out of bed without waking him up. I know he's exhausted. As I make my way downstairs I check Teddy's room. He's still sleeping, my sweet baby boy needs his rest, its going to be a long and exciting day for him.

When I get to the kitchen I see Gail already getting things ready for the party.

"Good morning, Gail."

"Good morning, Mrs. Grey, anything for breakfast?"

"Tea would be lovely, thanks."

"Oh, before I forget, you got a package this morning." Gail hands it to me. I look at it wondering who it is from but all it says is my name, no return address or anything. I will open it later, now, I need to wake Teddy.