Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel or any of the characters mentioned in either cannon. The lyrics posted in the chapters will be from AWOLNATION - Sail. They're not mine either.

Author's Note: I couldn't wait on a beta. Frosty600 is down with the flu, so I decided to give into my urges and just post it anyway! This is set after both shows end and Angel gains his humanity as a reward. Oh… how rewarding is it though? Let me know if I should continue

Chapter One


This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby.

Violet lightning struck over and over across the sky, illuminating the darkened room only to leave Angel alone with the steady rumbling of the thunder that followed its wake. The weather channel had called for clear skies with no chance of precipitation, but it wasn't the first time the weather had fooled them all and it would not be the last.

Rooted in the chair, Angel forced his self not to think, not to focus on anything but the drink in his hand. It hurt too much to think of her. Hand gripping the glass, Angel raised it to his lips and swallowed the dark amber liquid that had become his only escape over the months that had passed since it happened. The whiskey left a trail of fire down his throat, but his second tip of the glass soothed the fire with its smoothness.

Eyes closing, Angel titled his head back, shutting out the room laid out around him, and he was lost to a drunken slumber.

"Angel, just stay with me." Buffy laughed and reached for him for what felt like the thousandth time since his attempted escape from the room. With him regaining his humanity, he was no match for her slayer strength and Buffy took that opportune moment to try to hold him captive.

"Beloved, just let me give you this bit of normalcy." Angel pleaded with her as he tilted her chin up so he could capture her hazel eyes with his own.

Giggling, she gave a shake of her head before her lower lip jutted out in the familiar pout he often associated her with. "Just make love to me one last time. This is the last night ... we're both single." Wiggling her brows at him, she ran a finger down the front of his chest.

Having lost the ability to growl as he normally would, Angel settled with glaring at her playfully. "Since when are you single, lass?" Grabbing at her wandering hand, Buffy gasped when Angel snatched the other up too so she wouldn't use it. "No, mam."

"But Angellllll." Buffy whined, dragging his name out as an attempt to make it more effective. Stomping her foot, she didn't even get close to the reaction she wanted.

Laughing, Angel dipped his head down for one last kiss. "Tomorrow, we'll have the rest of our lives together and we'll spend every night together as husband and wife from here on out."

His fiancée still did not look one bit pleased as he backed out of the room after releasing her from his hold. "I promise. I'll make it up to you." The look he sent her matched the heated one she sent his way with promises of a memorable wedding night.

Winking at her, Angel closed the door before she could protest, not daring to take one more look at her because of the fear he might change his mind and give in to both of their carnal desires.

Closing the door behind her, Buffy entered the room almost silently. The rest of the house remained just as she remembered it. Angel touched nothing, but what he had to. She could smell her scent still on the covers. Humans. With a roll of her eyes, she clapped her hands together. He'd find the message anyway.

Bored with the rest of the house, Buffy considered leaving. He was no fun asleep. Something inside of her told her to stay. She blamed it on the downpour of rain. It was a valid excuse. It had to be or she was just as crazy as him. With one last look at the exit, she took a seat in the chair across from her mate. Resting against the cushions, Buffy watched Angel with curious eyes. The tug at the corner of his mouth hinting at a smile perked her curiosity. What was making him smile? What could he be dreaming about?

It had been weeks since she dared to visit him due to their last encounter. Buffy toyed with his demand that she leave, but she found herself unable to keep her distance from him for too long. She knew what he was capable of.

"So much promise." Purring out the three words, she slid her hands down the front of her leather clad thighs. "And yet …"

Making a tsking sound with her tongue, Buffy reached for the bottle. "Such a waste."

Rising to her feet, she walked over to the sleeping form of the former vampire and took a seat in his lap. Bottle in hand, she carefully pulled the glass out of his hand. Emptying the rest of the contents of the bottle into the glass, she shifted her body so she could watch his features after setting the empty bottle back on the table.

"What should we toast to my love?"

Not receiving an answer, Buffy gave a little shrug and then smiled. "I have an idea." Giggling softly, she nodded. "Oh, yes. Yes indeed."

Curling against him more fully, Buffy rubbed the back of her hand down his cheek and chuckled when he turned into her hand. "Let's toast to that hm, lover?"

Taking a sip, Buffy moaned quietly at the familiarity of the amber liquid. Yes, it was most certainly a reminder. Her thighs squeezed together as her body was reminded too of the man sleeping beneath her.

Hazel eyes watched the storm rage outside until the sky began to lighten. She could practically smell the sunrise coming and knew she'd have to leave him to continue to drown his sorrows until her return.

Crawling out of his lap, she leaned down and pressed a light kiss on his lips. Her brow lifted in wonder at the whimper he responded with in his sleep after she pulled her lips from his. "Pathetic."

Turning on her heal, Buffy smiled as she recognized the scent of his fear. So maybe the dreams weren't something to write home about after all.

Standing beneath the shower head, Angel groaned as the steady stream of the water poured down on him, scalding his skin but yet soothing his sore muscles as he finished his shower. His hands rested on the cool marble wall before him as he kept his head titled down with his eyes closed.

He had to be going insane. Upon waking, Angel swore he could smell the lingering of her perfume, yet there was no evidence beyond the perfume that Buffy had been there. Sometimes he missed the abilities that came with being a vampire. It would have been a lot easier to tell if he was truly going insane using his vampire sense of smell rather than that of a human. Then again, even as a vampire, her scent had always taunted him.

Turning off the water, Angel grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his hips. Remembering the messages Buffy would leave him on the mirror; Angel couldn't help but fall victim to self-inflicted torture. Expecting to find her last message, Angel felt dread creep up his spine as his eyes stared at the mirror before him.

Gone was the I love you and one word replaced it.


The color drained from his face as he remembered a time when his own demon had left the message for Buffy.

Darting from the bathroom, Angel almost expected to find a puppy or two nailed to the wall. Throwing one hand up to block the sun out of his eyes, Angel skidded to a stop in the living room. How did he miss it?

She wanted him to know she was there.

Reaching for the glass, Angel chuckled. Red lipstick lined the rim of the glass in the perfect print of her lips.

"God dammit." Roaring, Angel hurled the glass across the room, watching carelessly as it shattered. Flipping over the chair, he kicked the table across the room in his tantrum. When he finally got a grip, Angel slid to the floor, panting, his chest heaving up and down as he struggled to catch his breathing.

And then it all became perfectly clear as Angel began to laugh.

She planned on driving him fucking insane … and God help him, she was doing a damn good job at it.