"YOU WHAT!?" Nefarious nearly could have fainted when the hero had explained the situation to him.
"The brochure was very vague and the wording was misleading!" Qwark said in his defense.
Nefarious started hastily going through the complimentary paperwork left in one of the nightstand drawers that gave all the details on things like the events that were scheduled to happen on the ship, discount deals, and other information. He quickly came across the brochure for the cruise, read through it, then shoved it into Qwark's face. "THIS ONE!? Practically every other WORD refers to HAVING A LOVELY TIME WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!"
Captain Qwark winced out of guilt and poked his index fingers together sheepishly. "Okay I admit it-it was too long for me to read, so I just skimmed over it. I got a good deal on a three day package, so I went for it! I wouldn't have brought us here if I knew it was a couples cruise! I can barely stand you, let alone think of you...like THAT!"
"Well isn't that just great!" Nefarious exclaimed, throwing all the paperwork up into the air like confetti. "I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean for three days straight with the guy I hate more than anyone else in the entire universe, and now everyone's going to think we're an item! FAAAAANTASTIC!"
"I'm not any more happy about this than you are!" Qwark pointed out with a glare. "I was hoping to pick up some chicks, and now I'm just going to come off as some kind of swinger!"
"I should have known better than to trust you to be half-competent for a change!" He approached Qwark with a dangerous look in his optical sensors, slouched over and pointing at the bulkier male. "You've fooled me TWICE at this point, Qwark! I won't let it happen a THIRD time! This was your LAST chance!"
Both of them shifted their attention towards their cabin door when there came a gentle knock. Nefarious went to press a button on the panel near it to open the door. Needless to say, he was more than a little confused when two women were on the other side. At least, he was pretty sure they were both women. "Who are you, and what do you want?" he asked, being rather blunt and short tempered.
"Those are the two girls from earlier!" Qwark said with surprise.
Nefarious looked back at Qwark with a furrowed brow. "WHAT two girls from earlier?" he asked, wondering what kind of mess Qwark had started THIS time.
"Finn and Rita," Qwark said as if that would explain everything.
Rita waved at Nefarious with a smile, while Finn looked like she would rather be anywhere but here. "We'we youw neighbows, pwetty much," she explained briefly. "At weast fow the next thwee days."
"Why does she talk funny, and what's going on?" Nefarious demanded to know, feeling rather impatient at this point.
"First reason we're here: We couldn't help but overhear you two screaming at eachother from our cabin, which is right next door to yours. That's got to come to an end. Now. Second reason: Rita can't keep her damn nose out of everyone else's business," the drophyd replied. "Also, she's kind of programmed to speak like that. It's a bug, I guess. I don't know how you robots work. I don't pretend to, either."
"She nevew compweted the Sensitivity Twaining Seminar," Rita whispered on behalf of her rude partner.
"Rita. Don't," Finn grumbled, not in the mood to even get started on that sort of matter. "Look, we're not relationship counselors by any means, but we can try to help. If you want it. We know what it's like. It's not easy being an organic/robotic couple. Being out together in public like this is unsettling, and takes some time getting used to. People stare, make comments, and if you worry about all that stuff, it makes things miserable. You have to learn to get over it and just be yourselves. Rita and I have been together for years now, and believe us: the people around us haven't really changed. They're pretty set in their ways. It's something you've just got to learn to ignore."
Nefarious stared at the drophyd critically before responding. "We're NOT a couple."
Finn threw her robotic arms into the air. "They're hopeless," she said before turning around and going to leave. Before she could go and Nefarious could shut the door on them, Rita grabbed her by the mechanical arm and forced her to stay put, and then stopped the door from closing by sticking her free hand inside and prying it open.
"Wait wait wait," Rita begged as she let go of Finn's arm to get more leverage on the door she was trying to force open. "I'm not giving up." She slipped inside of the cabin, and Finn had little choice but to follow in after her out of protective nature.
"Rita you're so dumb. Gonna get us thrown off this ship," Finn mumbled with a sigh.
Totally missing the point, Rita reminded her, "Both of us can swim!" She approached Nefarious and grabbed him by the hands, squeezing his in her own assuringly as she put on a comforting smile. However, it only served to make Nefarious feel sick to his internal tanks with disgust. He didn't like people touching him. Ever. "I know that you guys don't know us and we don't know you, but all fouw of us awe wike kindwed spiwits!" she said excitedly.
Nefarious slipped his hands out from under hers, and slapped hers away. "No we AREN'T! We're not even FRIENDS!" he shouted. "You're seeing something that just isn't there, I assure you! Now get out of here before I call security!"
"You imply that will stop her from being annoyingly persistent. When they throw her overboard, she will just swim back here to pester you two," Finn joked, rolling her eyes. "That's just how she is. She's a fixer. Probably why she chose me as her mate. Heh."
"There's nothing to fix!" the doctor snapped.
"Now on THAT part I can agree with Rita that you're lying," the drophyd stated while pointing to Nefarious. "Clearly somethin' isn't right here. I mean, look at you two. Think about it. You come on a cruise meant for couples, you do nothing but argue when you get here, and now you're in denial that you two even LIKE eachother. Who does that other than a couple who came here solely for the purpose of mending a broken relationship?"
"In a way, she's kind of right," Captain Qwark admitted in a hushed voice, looking at the more you-can-see-it-if-you-squint perspective of things. "We DID come here to try and patch things up..."
The two ladies smiled, assuming that this little misunderstanding had been solved. Problem was, they were still convinced that the two were a couple.
"Admittance is the fiwst step to wecovewy!" said Rita, who was looking rather happy that should help. "I think you two will do just fine!"
"You know," Finn began to suggest, rubbing along the seam where her tank connected to her armored suit with a metal claw, "They serve fancy dinners down in the lower deck at around 6 o'clock. We could do a double date, I guess." She wasn't all that great at the whole 'being friendly to others' sort of deal, but from her years spent with Rita, it seemed like something Rita would have done or had wanted her to suggest.
Just as the drophyd thought, her robotic mate was pleased and touched that Finn would think to offer that. "That's a pewfect idea, Finn!" She gasped, her excitement only increasing. If Rita got any more worked up and giddy, springs and screws probably would have popped out and go flying all over the damn place.
"So are you two in, or are you out?" Finn asked sternly the two males with a wave of her claw, the other one she had resting on her suit's hip.
"Sounds like fun to me!" Qwark replied, feeling that it sounded like an interesting enough plan. He could go for some decent food, anyway.
Nefarious glared at his temporary roommate. "I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS!" he screeched at Qwark.
"Well come or don't come!" Finn said bluntly, being less patient with the duo. "It doesn't matter to us!"
"It mattews to me," Rita corrected, but Finn just gave her a frown.
"No it doesn't," the drophyd insisted. She then mashed down on the button that opened the door, and left with Rita to go about their business.
Nefarious narrowed his eyes at Qwark. "I'm so blogging about how stupid you are right now." He crawled back onto the bed and put his headphones back on, then started typing away while occasionally flashing a harsh glance at Qwark while he entered his feelings into the computer to broadcast it to all of the three, maybe five people total who actually cared in the slightest.
Qwark merely sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his large chin in his palm, practically waiting for 6 o'clock at this point. Fixing things was going to be a lot harder than he had thought.