Here's more porn. For those of you that like it, have fun. For those of you that don't, I'm very sorry.

This was written to fulfill the request of a friend of mine on this site. He wanted a story where Miranda basically does for Shepard what Kelly does for him if you romance her in Mass Effect 2. After a few exchange of PMs between me and him, the idea eventually evolved into something far grander… and smuttier.

Basically, this story is Miranda and Oriana Lawson, the galaxy's two perfect human women, deciding to dress up and give the dashing, heroic Commander Shepard a very memorable birthday. Oh and *spoiler alert* Kasumi happened to be cloaked up in Shepard's cabin at the time their little "party" started and ends up locked in the room with the trio as they have sex. Eventually, Kasumi's cloaking device burns out and she is discovered. As punishment for invading his privacy, Shepard pounds her little ass hard (not that she's against such punishment).

So, yeah. More porn for you guys, it seems. Enjoy the beginning exposition.

Part one out of I have no idea.




Miranda Lawson was conflicted.

On the one hand, there was a certain man waiting for her back on the Normandy. A man who had done more for her than damn near anyone else in her life. A man she very much cared for. Hell, maybe she loved the cocky bastard. The sight of him entering a room, confidence oozing from every step, never failed to bring a smile to her face.

On the other hand, however, the Cerberus Officer wasn't too keen of the idea of doing… things with her sister-clone-whatever in order to please her boyfriend.

Yes, Commander John Tiberius Shepard was an amazing man who had few equals.

Yes, he helped considerably in securing Oriana's safety from her pig of a father.

Yes, he had made Miranda understand that she was more than just her perfect human genes, that her genetic enhancements did not define her.

And yes, after everything he was forced to put up with since that fateful day on Eden Prime, John Shepard was due for some sort cosmic payback. And his birthday was in a couple days.

Miranda never really believed in the idea of karma and all that spirituality crap, but John had been killed once. And that had come after his warnings about the imminent Reaper invasion had been quietly brushed aside by a Council he saved and they had thrown him out into the god-forsaken Terminus systems to combat the remaining pockets of geth resistance. Surely, the man had some good fortune headed his way to make up for all that.

Good fortune that hopefully doesn't involve me getting sexually intimate with my younger sister… clone… whatever…

Miranda had been shocked when sweet, virginal Ori Lawson had bluntly suggested a sister-sister threesome as a birthday present for John. She had been in the process of downing a particularly strong asari beverage when Oriana came out and said it, making her older sister choke and cough as the alcohol burned her throat.

With watery eyes and a reddened face, Miranda gasped and coughed as her lungs attempted to expel the foreign fluid. Oriana sat across from her, an evil little smile playing at her lips.

"Ach!" Wretched the perfect human woman, ignoring the stares from the other patrons of the club. "I – I'm sorry!?"

Oriana merely grinned, snatching up a shot glass filled with a purple liquid and downing it in one graceful movement, her elegant neck like that of a swan as she tilted her head back for her drink. Luckily for her, Miranda was still too shocked to object that she was still too young to drink.

"It's his birthday, Randa. What's a better gift for a man like Commander Shepard than a night with not one, but two perfect women?"

"I know it's his birthday, Ori," Miranda replied, noting the stares their table was getting, "I brought him back life from a pile of meat and bones, I know nearly everything about him. What I don't know is you! Just what the hell brought this on? A few months ago you were asking me about boys and school, now you're… you're… suggesting threesomes and downing shots like some bar-hopping tramp!"

Oriana's grin didn't falter, one brow raising in mild amusement.

"A lot can happen in a few months, Randa. You know that," Ori smiled, her face happy and bright as if she hadn't just suggested an incestuous threesome as a birthday present. "Besides, it wouldn't be that bad. You act like you haven't slept with another woman before."

Miranda was incredulous, eyes wide with an expression that most definitely fit the definition of "horrified". She reached forward, hand darting out like a serpent and clasped her hand over Oriana's, squeezing tight.

"Will you keep it down?" Miranda hissed, the older Lawson growing more frustrated by the younger's amusement with the situation. "Women, I have no problem with, but in case you have forgotten, Ori: we are sisters."

"Clones," Oriana corrected quickly. "We're clones, Randa. As in, we have the same exact DNA. As in, we're technically the same person, only I was born over a decade after you were. Not even from the same mother, mind you, but one of those cloning tubes. So, if we actually went through with my suggestion and the two of us ever… you know… interacted, it would be more like masturbation really-"

"Stop. Just stop. I don't want to hear anymore."

Oriana frowned.


"No. No more," Miranda declared holding up a hand to silence the younger perfect woman sitting across from her. "What has gotten into you? What happened to sweet, innocent Ori and why has she been replaced by sultry, seductive Ori?"

Or should I say, "not-bothered-by-having-sex-with-sister Ori"?

Oriana said nothing, still keeping that smile of hers glued on her pretty face as she poured herself another shot of the purple drink.

"And why are you so determined to get into a threesome with John and I? I would have expected this from him, not you."

Oriana tossed her head back, downing another shot. This time, Miranda took the shot glass away from her.

"You and I are more alike than you realize, Randa."

Miranda pursed her lips, her arm crossing beneath her breasts.

"How so?"

"Do you remember what you told me the last time we spoke in person? 'A Lawson girl will do anything to get what she wants', is what I recall."

"Yes, I remember, Ori. You wanted more advice on that Danner boy. The football player."

"He called it soccer," Oriana corrected. "Anyway… In the time since we talked, I did a little research on the Commander. He's a very impressive man, Randa. You should be proud that you got your nails in him before anyone else."

Miranda gave her sister-clone a long stare, reading her face, analyzing her. Then realization sunk in. Miranda leaned back into her seat, brows raised slightly as she came to a conclusion.

"You want Shepard."

Oriana smiled wide, brilliant white teeth gleaming.

"Correct, Randa! I think that's worth ten points. Or is it twenty?"

"But… but why? You've only met him once and even then, you've never spoken to him! And what about Danner?"

Oriana's expression grew thoughtful.

"Danner is an unfaithful pig, and that's that," Oriana snorted derisively, sneering at the boy's memory. Then the sneer grew into a smile as she drifted to happier thoughts. "Commander Shepard is an amazing man, Randa. From what you've told me, he not only saved the entire galaxy, but he also he destroyed the collectors. I don't really know who the collectors are, but they sound very dangerous, so it must have been difficult. He also played a large role in saving me from father, so he gets points for that. I think what seals the deal for me, Randa, is the fact that he's a marine. I've always loved a man in uniform…"

Miranda shook her head, eyes wide in shock as she rubbed her temples.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You want to have sex with my boyfriend and in order to do so, you came up with the idea that you could join the two of us in bed as some sort of birthday present for him. Is that it?"

Oriana pursed her lips, looking up thoughtfully.

"Yeah, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. So, do you agree?" Oriana said, her expression akin to a little girl hanging on her mother's answer on whether or not they were going to the candy shop.

Miranda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Ori… no."

"Oh, why not?" Oriana all but whined.

Miranda gave the younger girl a hard stare, icy blue eyes bearing into the Lawson sitting across from her.

"Ori, let me remind you once again: We. Are. Sis-"

"Clones, Randa. We're clones. It's not incest if we're clones."


"No, Randa, listen to me for once!" Oriana said, shockingly forceful for the younger woman. "You're the perfect woman – well, technically I am too, but that's beside the point – but you're not very good with men. You just don't know them that well. Please understand that when I say this, I mean it in the best possible way: men are dogs. They can be cute and cuddly but almost all of them are slobbery, filthy animals who won't stop rutting until they get old and die or someone snips their balls."


"Let me finish. Men are like dogs, but like dogs, they can also be trained. Treat a dog poorly and he eventually bites back. Treat a dog well and you've got a cuddly pet. Maybe he ruins some of your clothes or pisses on that new rug, but he is still manageable. Treat a dog really fucking great and he's yours for life. I'm talking full-on loyalty all the way to the grave. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"You make decent, if blatantly sexist, similes?"

"What I'm saying is: You have something to gain from this, too, Randa. I get a night with the Commander, albeit it's shared with you but I don't really have much of a problem with that, your boyfriend gets to spend his birthday with two perfect human women, and you get a savior of the galaxy completely devoted to you. Think about it, Randa: Commander John Tiberius Shepard, the Lion of Elysium, Hero of the Citadel, and the man who eliminated the Collectors wrapped around your little finger."

Miranda said nothing, leaning back in her seat with her arms crossed, the look on her face telling those around her that she was deep in thought.

Things were silent between the two Lawson girls for a long while, neither moving from their seats as they stared each other down. Patrons of the bar came and went, the two perfect human women paying them no mind.

Finally, Miranda sighed, heavy and loud. Oriana raised an eyebrow, anticipating her answer.

The older Lawson reached forward and grabbed the bottle of the purple beverage, pouring herself not a shot, but a tall glass. She tossed her head back, allowing the drink to flow into her mouth and down her throat, Miranda gulping it down as it came.

To Oriana's great surprise, Miranda managed to down the entire glass. When she was finished, Miranda took a deep, greedy breath before slamming the glass down on the smooth table.

"Fine." She said, hoarsely.

Oriana smiled wide, bouncing in her seat with glee.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret this Randa! By the time we're through with him, there won't be a single woman in this galaxy he'd rather be with than you!"

"There damn well shouldn't be…" Miranda mumbled, suddenly dizzy from the amount of alcohol she put away just moments ago.

Strong stuff…

Next thing Miranda Lawson knew, Oriana was tugging her out of her seat by her wrist, urging her older clone to head for the door.

"Come on, Randa! We've got to go and prepare, get ourselves some sexy little outfits!"

"Ugh," Miranda grunted without a hint of femininity. "You mean we have to go shopping?"

"Mmhmm!" Oriana hummed, oblivious to her sister-clone's displeasure. "We've got to make this a night he won't ever forget. Make it a show for him, even. After all, Randa, it is his birthday!"