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Just a little one, double trouble toil and bubble! None of these characters are mine I just play with them mercilessly.

Mistress Slytherin


Homosexual relationship

Have fun!

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Severus clutched the paper in his hands and grit his teeth as his eyes widened in fury.

"Oh dear." Minerva said glancing at him from where she was holding out her own newspaper.

Students gasped as he stood suddenly and stormed out of the Great Hall in a flurry of robes his gaze positively murderous. Harry Potter was going to be the death of him- had been the death of him once, and rather the near death of him several times since. It was all the brats fault, no one could get under his skin the way Harry Potter did, no one could make his blood thunder in his ears with rage while his mind went white with anger. He had patience, so very much patience with the world now that Sirius Black and James Potter were no longer a part of it, but Harry bloody Potter always managed to do it. Severus stormed through the floo and shattered Harry's wards as though he was simply brushing away cobwebs.

Harry grimaced from where he sat behind his desk.

"Shit- Dale I'll talk to you later, get out." Harry said sharply. The other man didn't need to be told twice in an instant he was gone and Harry was erecting wards.

All the while Severus was cooking a real storm in his head.

"You risked your life to save a criminal from sure death and broke your legs in the process- both legs I might add. Yet I had to find out through the papers?" He hissed through clenched teeth. Harry sneered as he turned sharply his green eyes flared with indignation.

"You're not my nanny as you keep reminding me! I'm not your bloody responsibility any more you fulfilled your fucking debts! I don't have to stop being me just because you seem to find yourself in my office every bloody time there's an accident-"

"I've spent too bloody long keeping you alive Potter for you to waste it on some half-wit criminal-"

"Oh for crying out loud the WAR IS OVER!" Harry roared very much aware that in their anger they were getting closer and louder the way they always did.

"That doesn't mean you can just SACRIFICE YOURSELF AT EVERY BLOODY TURN-!"





And then of course it happened. That thing that neither of them ever talked about but kept happening and neither of them could do anything to stop it- that point where shouting should by all rights become hexes which should become physical blows. Instead, it became this.

Severus kissed him. It always started that way, fury, raw anger and that smidgen of desperation in that instant when he grabbed Harry and pulled him close. And Harry hated it almost as much as he loved it. Severus Snape was an asshole, a complete and utter jerk, but with everything that had happened…Snape was also the safest place in existence. The moment he pulled Harry into his arms Harry melted, he hated that he did it, but it worked every single time. He returned the kiss with as much violence and vengeance as Snape was delivering biting and gnashing until Severus did that thing where he turned suddenly slow and passionate- the most punishing thing he could ever do and it pulled that sound out of Harry, that deep aching sorry sound that he hated.

"MMMMnnnnnneh! Please!" And that was it; that was how it always started. Severus tore at his clothes violently as though personally offended by the boundary they were creating between them. Once he had them off though he returned to that other man, slow passionate bruising with purpose. For Harry it was all he could do to hang on, sure he'd tried having other lovers, but knowing Severus Snape the way he did, knowing that Snape knew him the way he did- everyone else was like cardboard, flimsy and unimpressive. Things with Snape were just…intense. His head hit the wall as Severus finally cast the spell to lubricate him. "Ah! Yes-please-please!" He gasped. He would hate himself afterwards of course, he shouldn't need this the way he did, he shouldn't find Snape of all people occupying his mind for a majority of the day! But when Snape eased inside of him, when the man's body seemed to form a curl of protection and adoration around him it was all he could do not to break down. He sobbed at first, overwhelmed with it, feeling broken by it, but then Snape was there cradling him going all slow and passionate on him and Harry felt cherished, well and truly cherished, which made him think the next time he was on a mission. He hated it because it made him think that Snape would be there when he got back and that Snape would cherish him when he got back. It kept him from doing truly stupid things and he hated it.

Snape fucked him slowly rocking him hard but steadily the way that Harry needed it, bordering painful but never ever going beyond what he could handle. Snape reminded him that he was alive and pathetic as it sounded Snape was the reason he kept coming back alive, because he had someone to come back to. He gasped as Snape picked up on his thoughts and began to speed his thrusts.

"You were made for this Harry Potter, I don't know what the hell you were thinking risking yourself like that but I can assure you, if I have to break your legs myself I will-" Harry never knew how Snape could continue to be so articulate when he himself had been reduced to a pile of goo by this point. "-you just remember Potter, the next time you do something foolish like this you remember how bloody furious I will be if you don't fucking come back to me." Snape hissed fucking him hard hitting his prostate with precision. Harry gasped and groaned. Admittedly this as screwed up as it was, was the best for him. No one could compare to this. And then Snape curled in on him arms wrapping around him body curling forward tense like a tightly wound spring and Harry surrendered as he was pushed over the edge.

Nothing in the world could touch him when he was caged in those arms.

He came down from his high slowly panting and sweaty and more sure than ever of his choice. Usually he would push Snape away, he would forget that this had happened and they would go about acting like nothing was between them.

"What they didn't say in the papers." He said after a few moments. "Was that I nearly did die this time- I was- my legs were crushed when the building collapsed, the anti-apparation wards were up and there was only the crook whose life I'd just saved. He took off after the first explosion; I thought he was gone for good, I thought I was gone for good." Harry said with a huff covering his eyes with his arm. "But I…couldn't." He nearly choked. "Ron and Hermione left a long time ago, off to Peru to study god knows what to get away from memories of the war, to get away from me. I thought there was no point, I just carried on as usual, bloody hero, doing my 'saving people' thing. But not last night." He admitted. Snape had pulled away, his clothes were back and there was a cautious look in his eyes. "I thought I was going to die. I thought what the hell why not, and I thought of all the people that might miss me…they would move on eventually I guess, we lived through a war understanding that we might die. But my mind kept circling back to you." Harry said his chest squeezing painfully.

"Potter-" Snape said warning. But Harry wasn't going to listen; he wasn't going to brush it off this time.

"You're a bright bastard, you're sarcastic, ugly and mean spirited- but you still fucking care. You still come after me every damn time and you're still the most courageous man I know, your sneaky and vengeful as hell but you still fucking care!" Harry said with a laugh. "I know how ridiculous it sounds, I know all I'm fucking throwing at you are insults and I can pretty much assure you that I'm bullocks at romance." His breath caught in his throat as he forced himself to admit it out loud. "I know I'm cracked Snape but I love you and I would give up anything including all this" he said gesturing to his office. "if it meant I had a shot with you. If it meant knowing I'm safe when I'm in your arms." He felt his chest squeeze tightly. He stared at Snape and saw the man's shock, his white faced fury and the expectancy for Harry to pull out the rug from under him and say that it was all a joke.

But he would be waiting a very fucking long time for the punch line.

Harry smiled when he couldn't take it any more and silently he pulled away from Snape pulling his clothes on bit by bit until he heard the floo flare to life and turned to find that Snape had left him without a word.

Harry sighed and buried his face in his hands.

Fuck if he hadn't just exorcised the one good thing in his life.

Merlin he was an idiot.

Harry let out a bark of a laugh as he rubbed his face harshly and put his office to rights. This job was going to drive him mad one of these days- maybe it had already, maybe that was why Harry could see a cottage and long tired hours broken only by the snarls and growls of two sarcastic men who understood that snapping and sarcasm was their own brand of love. Two people who didn't have to remember anniversaries or birthdays because every day with the other was a day to celebrate in its own right and the only way they ever needed to measure it would be by the end when they're old and gray and the only people that can stand each other.

Merlin he was so cracked.

And it sucked; it truly sucked that he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He bloody well wasn't meant to fall in love with the man who verbally beat him and then fucked him against a wall every so often! But he had and he loved every bloody despicable thing about Snape. He fell into his seat and sobbed a bit before wiping his face and blowing his snot into a tissue.

Well, that was that wasn't it?

Harry pulled out a bit of parchment and started writing up his report.

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"Was it a prank?" Snape said startling him into drawing his wand. Harry stared blearily at Snape for a long moment. It had been a week since that day in the office and a win for the local Quidditch team had his teams working the late shift every night that week. He was almost certain that Snape was a figment of his already exhausted mind.

"No." Harry said wrinkling his nose. "Since when have I ever actually pranked you? Honestly, think about it, after all these years I think you'd pick up on the fact that I don't prank people…well, there was that one incident with Lucius Malfoy but really he had it coming." Harry trailed off when he realized Snape was doing that thing where he was staring at Harry and seeing an idiot. "I haven't slept in three days give a chap a break and tell me if you're a hallucination?" Harry said raising his eyebrows.

"I'm real you overzealous little- why haven't you slept in three bloody days?" Snape said changing tracks in conversation so quickly that Harry had a hard time following for a moment.

"Quidditch game- fans got ugly, we've been obliviating people all week, don't you read the paper or is that just when I've done something stupid- do you have a Potter's being an idiot radar?" He asked curiously.

"I'd lose my sanity if I did, it would be going off all the time." Snape sneered. Harry snorted. "So it wasn't a prank?" Snape said suddenly serious again. Harry blinked and nodded.

"No pranks." He swore shaking his head.

"Marry me." Snape said almost suddenly.

"Wha-fuck, huh?" Harry said his brain short-circuiting.

"You understood me." Snape said with a lift of his chin.

"Yeah but usually there's a bit of coffee involved, possibly drinks and from what I understand thai food- you know the dating thing." Harry said feeling as though he'd just gotten hit by the knight bus all over again- which had happened once before of course.

"Potter I was in your mind, I've known you since you were eleven and I've exposed you to my most humiliating moments, I've saved your ungrateful hide so many times that it became a habit I couldn't let go of and now- now you've put these bloody ideas in my head! I don't give a damn about anniversaries and birthdays I never have- but I know I would if you were involved somehow. You break all the rules stumble about and still manage to make it out alive and a hero which I personally can't stand and yet it's oddly…endearing. I'm tired of this Potter. Marry me and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, you know I will." Snape said his eyes suddenly glittering and intense. It was that look again, the one that made Harry's will crumble every damn time.

And he knew Snape was right.

They would tear each other's throats out most days, but Snape would make him happy, because that was what Snape did in the end- he'd go to the ends of the universe if it would make Harry happy.

"Yes." Harry said dropping his paper work where he stood.

"Yes?" Snape said in shock.

"I'll marry you a hundred times over you bloody fool." Harry swore closing the distance between them. Snape kissed him then his heart beating so hard that Harry could feel it as he curled impossibly close to the man.

"This is insane." Snape said a faint smile on the corners of his lips.

"Shut up and kiss me." Harry returned. Snape let out a laugh before kissing Harry senseless. When Harry could breathe again he rested his head on Severus' chest and relished the feeling of safety and security. "Do you want me to quit being an Auror?" Harry asked smiling slightly. Snape was silent for a long moment.

"You would do it if I asked wouldn't you?" He said smirking against the side of his head.

"Mmmhmmm" Harry agreed smiling.

"No." Snape said after another moment. Harry pulled back and rose both eyebrows.

"No?" He said the shock evident.

"Angry sex is good." Snape admitted dryly. Harry tipped back his head and laughed long and hard.

"You doubt that I could manage to make you angry without being an Auror?" Harry said grinning. Snape frowned slightly.

"On second thought…" He said seriously. Harry snorted.

"I was going to turn in my resignation at the end of the week anyway you know, I was offered a place on both of the quidditch teams we're working over time for this week." Severus rose his eyebrows.

"That would mean constant traveling." He said mildly.

"I had a reason to get away. I thought I'd scared you away and that…that scared me." Harry said tightening his hold on the man.

"You aren't getting away from me so easily Harry, in truth I've been saying for years that I wanted to go on a sabbatical, this is the perfect opportunity." Snape said with a lift of his chin. Harry narrowed his eyes slightly.

"See this is one of those moments where you sacrifice everything for me and I wouldn't see it- not usually anyway." He said smiling softly.

"Someone has to keep that bloody ego of yours from inflating." Snape said sniffing.

"Oh I do believe I'm getting good at this, making me angry won't work this time Snape, you've already sacrificed too much for me I won't let you sacrifice your self for-"

"Potter you idiot I hate children, I've hated my job since the day Albus gave it to me but I've had no reason to leave and the understanding that I am in fact still hated by a majority of the populace. I want to travel, and I want to travel with someone that I love who will bloody well drive me up a wall every day but will keep me on my toes. Now if I know anything about you after all these years it's that I can depend on you for a good adventure." The man said smirking down at him. Harry smiled faintly and felt his heart warm.

"This could work couldn't it?" He dared to hope.

"We are two of the most determined people on the face of the earth, yes I believe it could." Snape said winding an arm around him. Harry decided that he liked that, he liked this.

This could work.

Harry Potter smiled.