'Hulk smash.' Hulk thinking
'Hulk, don't smash.' Bruce thinking
I own nothing
Bruce had been completely mortified at Tony's question. Thankfully, Tony had not continued pestering him after Fury finished briefing them and left the room. Instead, he had moved onto his usual target. Steve.
Who just happened to looked more and more irritated as time passed.
Bruce looked up from his research. Tony was once again annoying Steve. Bruce was surprised the man hadn't blown up on Tony, but the genetically engineered soldier was more composed than Bruce thought. He sighed as Tony metaphorically chipped at Steve's self-control.
Harry was sitting on Bruce's right fiddling with a gadget Tony had given him. His eyes were wide and incredibly fascinated. Bruce figured it would keep his attention for another fifteen minutes or so. Thankfully, Natasha had left the room with Fury but she cast Bruce another angry glare before she left.
Bruce didn't want to ever be left alone with that woman. He was actually kind of afraid of her despite him being able to Hulk out and rip her to shreds. He guessed most mothers were that way. Not that Harry was her child...not that it mattered to her whether or not he was hers.
Bruce watched Tony and Steve bicker for a few more minutes before it clicked. Tony was Steve's Harry. I mean sure Tony was a lot more annoying than Harry-
'-And not as pretty' Hulk interjected
-but Tony was the thing that kept Steve from falling into isolation completely. He challenged Steve. Made him think of his values, made him think about the changed world around him in other terms than point me into the direction of the bad guy and I'll fight him for truth and justice and all of the other American values.
Tony, annoying assholish Tony, was Steve's Harry. Tony never said things to Steve out of malice. In fact, the man mostly pointed out facts that were just incredibly annoying to Steve. He was helping the man out of his shell whether he realized it or not.
Bruce shook his head and an amused smile pulled on his lips. He travelled halfway across the world and managed to meet a bizarre and skewed version of Harry and himself. Beside him Harry giggled at a game he was playing.
Fury walked into the room and cleared his throat.
"Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Agent Coulson. Anything you need ask him."
"Phil! How are you?" Tony asked, "How's Pepper?" He smirked.
Phil merely smiled in amusement and nodded his head and held out a cup to Tony.
"She's doing fine. She wishes me to tell you that she is no longer your secretary and to get your own coffee."
"But I don't know where she used to buy it from!" Tony whined. He greedily snatched the cup of coffee from Phil's hands and breathed in its glorious scent.
Phil merely shook his head. Tony knew exactly where it was. He probably just missed ordering Pepper around. Not that he still didn't do it anyways out of habit. Pepper was the only person he knew that was a CEO of a very prosperous company and still treated like a secretary. Then again he was Tony Stark. The man's ego was so large it probably had its own gravitational field. This was quite a feat because an ego wasn't even a physical thing.
"Agent Coulson this is Dr. Bruce Banner and Harry Potter." Fury motioned to each of them.
Tony's eyes brightened and he grabbed Harry and dragged him to the front.
"Look! This is my son, Harry. Isn't he adorable?"
Phil's eyes widened.
"When'd you get a-"
"He illegally adopted him a couple of minutes ago." Steve dead panned.
"Hey, there was nothing illegal about that adoption!"
"You did it in less than five minutes!"
"What you wanted me to wait weeks?!"
Steve let out a frustrated growl.
"Stark you are the most infuriating-"
"-Man I have ever-"
"-Had the pleasure of meeting." Tony interrupted again.
"Will you stop that?!"
Harry giggled at his 'dad' and his friend. Poor Steve was as red as the Hogwarts express!
"Leave him be, Tony. I think you've reached his quota for the day." Phil chuckled.
Tony pouted but stopped bothering Steve.
Phil turned to Harry.
"Hello Mr. Potter it's a pleasure to meet you. I am Agent Coulson but feel free to call me Phil."
"So you're like the super nanny right?" Harry asked excitedly.
Behind him Bruce choked.
"Kind of. I watch the supers make sure they don't kill each other, take naps, eat their green vegetables etc." he joked.
Harry's eyes widened.
"You are so...COOL!"
"What?" Tony asked behind him in shock.
"You are so awesome!" Harry bounced. "I want to be just like you!"
"What?" Bruce smothered a chuckle. It seems Tony was stuck on replay.
"You want to be like me? I thought you were already a hero?" Phil asked in surprise.
"Well yeah, but I don't want to do that anymore. This is much cooler. You're like the person behind the scenes that make sure everything gets done. You are bloody fantastic!"
Phil flushed in surprise. Was this how Captain America felt when Phil was fanboying over him? Phil had never felt so flattered before.
"Hey what about me, Harry?" Tony poked him in the side. "Aren't I supposed to be your hero? I'm your dad."
What the-? Was that hurt Bruce heard in Tony's voice? Wasn't this all just play acting? Tony couldn't actually be hurt that Harry was hero worshipping someone else instead of him. Could he?
Harry turned to Tony.
"Well yeah, but this is different."
"How?" Tony frowned.
"Well because you're my new dad you are already the best thing since treacle tart. Agent Phil is like sliced bread. Still awesome but not as awesome as treacle tart. Plus he's new. What if he leaves? You're my dad you aren't going anywhere. At least...I hope not."
Tony's eyes watered and he hugged his son to him.
"Oh you are the best son in the world!"
Harry hugged him back and sniffled.
"And you are the best dad in the world."
"Great. There are two of them."
"My thoughts exactly."
After Harry met Phil everybody went along there merry way. And by that I mean Tony and Bruce stayed behind to research, Harry went off with Phil and Steve went to work out.
Harry walked besides Phil down the long corridor.
"So you travelled with Dr. Banner?" Phil asked
"Yup," Harry nodded, "a couple of weeks now."
"Interesting. I've always wondered how he deals with his problem."
"His anger issues?" Harry asked. Phil stopped walking and stared down at Harry.
"No. He hasn't told you?"
"Told me what?" Harry pressed. This thing Bruce was hiding from him was becoming a bigger and bigger problem. It was like everybody knew about it but Harry.
Phil shook his head.
"It's not my place to tell. Ask him."
Harry frowned but then nodded. It was better to get such personal information from the source after all.
"So can I be like you?" Harry changed the subject. Phil blinked in surprise but took it in stride. Harry had discovered early on that Phil was just cool like that.
"A SHIELD agent? Aren't you an Avenger?"
"Nah! I didn't want to be an Avenger. I'm just sticking around to make sure Bruce doesn't work himself to death."
"I would have to ask Fury, but how about an internship for now?"
-Twenty minutes later-
"So...he doesn't know?" Bruce sighed at Tony.
"How could you possibly know that?" He asked the billionaire, playboy, and Philanthropist.
"I didn't." Tony beamed. Bruce shook his head at falling for that trap. He should have known better by now especially since he had been travelling with Harry these past few weeks.
"Let me give you a bit of info bud. Something's going on here. Something big. You're big little secret won't stay hidden for too much longer. It's best to tell him before you go all big, green and ugly."
'Hulk not ugly!'
"Harry's a great kid. I'm sure he won't flip out on you."
"Thanks Tony." He sighed. He had been sighing far too much lately today.
Across the room the door opened and Phil walked through the door with another agent. Once they got closer Tony and Bruce realized something. That other agent was Harry.
Harry was dressed just like a Mini Phil in a replica suit. His hair was tied back into a professional pony tail and dark sunglasses rested on his nose.
"Phil what the hell did you do to my son?"
"Dad guess what?! I'm Interning!"
Bruce laughed at the absolutely scandalized look on Tony's face.
"But Harry they have like a billion rules and if you are your fathers son you are going to break every single one of them and then get in tons of trouble and what the hell am I saying? Go ahead. Drive Fury nuts!" Tony laughed.
Harry smiled at him.
"Thanks for supporting me dad. I really appreciate it."
"Anything for you son."
'If Steve were here right now he would be gagging.' Bruce chuckled inwardly.
'Harry look good in suit.'
'Yes he does.' Bruce agreed without realizing it. Inwardly the Hulk smirked. Bruce was coming around to Harry. Eventually he would love him just as much as Hulk did. He growled in satisfaction.
Harry smile faded.
"Agent Phil, dad, can you give me and Bruce a moment?"
Bruce felt his eyes widened. Tony and Phil left the room. He felt dread pool in his stomach as Harry walked over to him.
Harry sat down beside Bruce and put his hand on his arm.
"Bruce, I think we need to talk."
Bruce had the feeling that the moment he had dreaded since he had met Harry had finally come. It was finally time to tell him about the Hulk.