I like drabbles. They don't require commitment. I don't like commitment, so I like drabbles.
Anyways, this is Noel/Hope, just a bunch of drabbles that I had written up months ago and never got around to posting. I'm not sure why, I was just lazy I guess. But now you guys are going to get spammed with, like, half a dozen chapters of this. Yep.
And I am actually really disappointed, I had wanted to use that new image cover thing for the first time but I'm too scared to use any actual pictures of Noel and Hope together. I know of so many really cute ones I love, but I don't want to steal them from the artists that drew them...
Oh, and for anyone wondering about the M-rating, it's mostly there because I don't know if this will stay tame or what so I'm covering all bases. Well, anyways, here ya go.
"You know, I couldn't do what you two do. Staying apart and doing your own thing, even though you two love each other.
You never know when someone might disappear from your life. Take it from me, you have to make every moment count."
Yaschas Massif 010 AF
Noel had told Serah that he couldn't imagine going separate ways from someone he loved, knowing full well the dangers they would be facing, leaving their fate all up to faith and chance… He couldn't imagine it… In fact, he wouldn't even dream of it in the first place.
It was not something he was capable of: letting someone he cared about run off into a dangerous situation and doing nothing about it—or worse—leaving them behind in danger so that he could complete a different objective. No, he would be more likely to let a paradox thrive somewhere in the timeline before doing that…
Yet again and again, this time traveling business made him and Serah both leave behind people they cared about, or they abandon them, so that they could change the future—past—whatever… And each time he found himself having to justify the abandonment. The worst of them all was leaving behind Hope and Alyssa. Again, and again, and again, over and over he would leap through the Historia Crux not knowing whether or not, when he finally came back, if they would still be there. So much could go wrong, and worst of all what could go wrong could corrupt the memories he would try to hold dear of the people he was cared for…
Another paradox arising, him and Serah changing the timeline enough to change them, monsters getting to them, a research project going array, the nightmares went on. That was exactly what he would call them: nightmares. He would dream of catastrophes causing Hope to forget them completely, or the timeline being completely changed and he never having met them, or another paradox arising and causing his death, or his curiosity finally getting the better of him and leading him to his own demise. Night, day, conscious or unconscious, he would dream of these horrible possibilities and feel the ache in himself to return to the director, check if he were alright and subsequently Alyssa as well…
But he never gave in to the ache, because each time he did resulted in his and Serah's eventual departure. Another goodbye, another justification for leaving, another nightmare, another ache… It was a cycle that he was sure would kill him. That was if Caius didn't kill him first, or a paradox, or a random monster, or even Mog… He knew that moogle was plotting his downfall, it always preferred Serah's company over his, and their relationship definitely didn't improve when he was designated as the one to toss him around to collects treasures, artefacts and such.
He was digressing though, the point was that he wasn't like Serah and Snow. He couldn't just leave behind the people he cared about and run off on some adventure, leaving their lives in the hands of fate. Even if Hope was absolutely brilliant, even if he was still a mighty capable ravager and medic on the battlefield, even if he was always surrounded by guards and steel walls and all the latest weaponry… He would feel the ache in the center of his being and know that no matter how he tried to justify leaving him behind each time, he cared too much to not go running back every second he got.
By the time he figured out what that ache really meant, he had already been making trips to Hope in the Bresha Ruins regularly. He didn't know it at the time, as it was still fairly early in his and Serah's entire journey, but this was not just one Hope that he would be visiting so often. One very, very confused Hope, who despite not understanding why Noel found it necessary to visit so often, took advantage of each and every visit, drilling the time traveler with so many questions that Noel had difficulty not giving too much away.
He told him everything he knew about Lightning, Valhalla, the artefacts and gates, and even much of what little he understood himself about the Historia Crux… that much information he knew he could trust to the young director. But when the questions began to touch upon more personal ground—where he was from, what life was like in his time, what became of humanity, his own family, his own history—there was so much he feared to tell the man. Even if the director had good intentions, even if he was brilliant enough to know for himself the repercussions, he could not risk telling him too much and having the young director attempting to change the future… It wasn't a lack of trust so much as a fear of the other's good-nature.
Noel could see it in his eyes… the way they gleamed with a passionate but focused nature. He wanted nothing more than to tell him everything and watch the excitement come over his features as he realized so much of what he had been spending years on attempting to discover. At the same time, he would be lying if he said he didn't find it to be endearing the way the supposedly "mature" director would sulk slightly when he was denied the knowledge. Oh, sure, he put on the air of the genius and mature director in front of Serah and Alyssa, but the moment it was just the guys the director seemed to become an over-eager child with a present…
It was a memory that Noel would hold on to quite fondly.
When Hope realized the time traveler would continue his many visits, he took it as the opportunity it was: a chance to learn what little he may be able to about the future, or at least the future that they were attempting to change.
He was thrilled to learn more about the entire process of time travel, of what little Noel himself knew of Lightning and Valhalla, but when it came down to the hunter himself… Hope was always left more than slightly disappointed. He understood Noel's apprehension, really he did. He knew that even a tiny slip up could cause a person to gain knowledge that they should never have had, and cause them to use that knowledge to twist the timeline in a way that it should never have went. At the same time, despite knowing the possible consequences, he couldn't resist the chance of gaining the knowledge anyways.
Hope was the damn director! He had a right, a privilege, a duty to gain as much knowledge as possible. However, it seemed Noel would not slip up, he was more than careful, always hesitating before answering a question, usually only giving vague nods and smirks instead of real truth. It was frustrating to say the least, and at the same time it was all the more thrilling. Sitting with the man during his very frequent visits, chatting so easily, studying him like a puzzle or riddle, so sure that eventually one day he would have the formula that would unravel the secrets and give him the answers he so desperately desired…
Well, he got one thing that he desired, and in the long run, he supposed it was the one thing that mattered most anyways.