Author's Note: I have decided to have a sequel to this story that tells more of the developing relationship of Beast Boy and Raven in the first's POV. It will tell of Beast Boy's developing feelings for Raven and how he feels slightly envious of what Robin and Starfire are feeling for each other. It won't be out for a while but it will be called: "How to Become a Beast Man."
Beast Boy arrived back at the tower considerably earlier than the rest of his friends, or so he had thought. He wasn't really in the mood to do anything except lie in his bed and mope, and he almost never did that. The sudden realization that Starfire would never be his was almost nearly as bad as when Terra had refused to remember him, and that was like a stab in the back.
With a sigh he closed the door to his room and lay in his bed. He tried not to think in general but he found his thoughts kept slipping back to her. Thankfully it seemed like he was finally about to drift off…
Only to be awoken by the sound of a firm knock at his door.
For a moment he considered just shouting 'go away' to the knocker like he was ten years old but instead decided to man up and answer it. He really hoped it wasn't Starfire. He didn't think he had the strength to fake happiness to spare her feelings.
Surprisingly the knocker happened to be Raven. She was probably the last person he had expected to come near his room. She usually complained about its lack of tidiness and claimed that it smelled like old gym socks. Frankly, he had gotten used to the stench that was his sleeping quarters.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. His voice was dull, but he was genuinely curious. Raven? Of all people?
"I need to talk to you," she answered her voice matching his emotionlessness.
"Are the others back yet?"
Beast Boy blinked. Raven wanted to talk to him? This was just plain weird. "Um, okay come in." He stepped aside to let her step through the doorway but she stood still, staring into the room with distain.
"Actually…why don't you come into my room instead?" she suggested.
Normally Beast Boy would have been annoyed at her blatant disgust involving his room but instead his jaw fell open. Raven never let anyone into her room, except maybe Starfire during their meditating sessions. But still, he didn't ever think that she would allow him to go in.
"Are you okay, Rae?" he questioned, intending to put his palm against her forehead but she jerked away and started off down the hall.
"Are you coming or not?" she asked in annoyance, her back still facing him as she retreated from his doorway. Beast Boy merely shrugged to himself and followed her.
As he stepped into her room for possibly the second time in his life, his eyes had to immediately adjust to the darkness. He was surprised by how clean it was in there. Then again this was Raven he was talking about. She wasn't exactly a slob.
The empath took a seat on her bed and just stared at him. He didn't think she would like it if he sat next to her so he opted to sit on the ground instead, right by her feet. He glanced up at her and attempted an uneasy smile.
Her expression didn't change. "I know you like Starfire," she said simply.
Beast Boy's cheeks turned rouge and he suddenly didn't want to be there. "Look, if you called me in here to talk about how I'm not good enough, save it. I already know-"
"That wasn't it," she told him.
He blinked. "Then what was it?"
Raven allowed herself to sigh and she glanced down at her hands. "In a way…I know what you're feeling."
Beast Boy scoffed. "Yeah, right. No offense Raven, but I doubt you have a crush on Starfire."
"Don't be an idiot," she snapped, then took a deep breath, controlling herself. "It's not Starfire, it's…"
"Oh," he responded, understanding what she meant. "I guess we both had crushes on people who didn't feel the same way."
"You said 'had' that time."
Beast Boy sat up straight in surprise. "What?"
"The first time you said that you 'have a crush on Starfire' the second time you said 'had,'" she pointed out.
"Okay, grammar police."
Raven narrowed her eyes. "I mean make up your mind. Which is it?"
His shoulders slummed and he let out a great whoosh of air as he sighed. "I don't know anymore, okay? I made this whole plan up just for her to get together with Robin in the first place. I wanted to be a good friend. Now I just wish I had never fallen in love with her in the first place."
"You didn't," she said softly before she could stop herself.
"What do you mean?"
"Forget it, I didn't mean to say anything," she told him, glancing off to the side. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut around him?
"No, tell me. It's too late to back out. Don't make me drag you back to my room," he half teased.
Raven didn't appreciate the empty threat but she could see how she was backed into a corner now. "I…looked into your emotions. I couldn't help it. At first it was an accident, but then I was genuinely curious. The only other time I ever did that was when you were with Terra. That time I felt genuine love. I knew what it was because at the time it seemed so foreign. This time when I checked though it was…different. You might have feelings for Starfire but it isn't love."
"Oh," he said, glancing down at his lap only to raise his head once more, a questioning look in his eyes. "Why did you check when I was with Terra?"
Raven couldn't stop the blush from appearing on her face. "I-I didn't trust her. Don't judge my decisions," she told him sharply, turning away so he couldn't see her face.
"Are you in love with Robin, then?"
Am I? she wondered. She closed her eyes briefly and sought out Knowledge who in turn sought out Love. The lilac cloaked Raven stared back at her blankly from Nevermore, her expression void of any emotion.
"I don't think so," she told him honestly. "But I'm…not sure."
The Changeling leaned backwards, holding himself up by the palms of his hands. "Why is this happening to us? I'm not good with all this emotional stuff. It's way too freaky and complicated for me."
Raven turned back to study his face for a moment once she was sure the redness in her cheeks had gone down. "Well, you and Starfire have your similarities and I suppose in a way so do Robin and I."
"So what you're saying is we needed like, companionship?"
"I didn't say that."
"But it was implied wasn't it?" he said, grinning that he was able to figure out what she meant before she could. "Admit it Rae, you were lonely so you started feeling the love."
"Beast Boy…" Raven replied in a warning tone.
"What? You know I'm right. At least I'm man enough to admit it."
"If you're trying to suggest that I should start calling you Beast Man-"
"Okay, you got me," he admitted. "But how cool would that be?!"
Raven let her lips form the ghost of a smile. "Clearly I need to lock you in the freezer."
Beast Boy laughed out loud at the pun and the two shared one of their rare yet comforting silences. He snuck a glance at her when her head was facing the side and in turn she glanced back at him once he had looked away. In truth, Raven felt like she should really get back to meditating and she was trying to figure out how to say that without flat out telling him to leave. However his next question threw her off her guard.
"So…what now?" he asked, scratching the back of his head unsurely, like he was trying to figure that out for himself too.
"What do you mean?" she questioned crossing her legs.
"I mean, I like Starfire, you like Robin, they obviously like each other and are too dumb to do anything so…do we just…forget about them?"
Raven took a deep breath. For once she didn't know what to say.
Cyborg collapsed onto the sofa as soon as he returned home with the others. He was much too exhausted considering he had done most of the fighting after all. Well at least it seemed like the drama was dying down. It didn't take him long to turn on the TV and then fall into a semi-coma.
Starfire giggled at his slumped posture and turned to Robin. "I feel most sorry for Cyborg. I believe he has been overworked and carries the grudge."
Robin smirked and waved his hand dismissively. "He'll get over it. Remind me to treat him next time we go out for pizza. Hey do you know where Beast Boy and Raven are?"
Starfire glanced around, frowning. "I do not know. Perhaps they are spending the quality time together?" She sure hoped so, considering they seemed the most down trodden of the bunch.
Robin snorted. "Beast Boy and Raven? Not likely. Those two don't get along too well."
"Oh, they might get along better than you think."
He frowned at her. "What do you mean?"
Starfire blinked at him and gave him a small smile, deciding to spare her suspicions. "Oh, never mind. May I ask what you plan to do for the time being?"
Robin shrugged. "Not too sure, why do you have something planned?"
She avoided his gaze. "Well I wished to watch the sunset with you. I have been meaning to ask you something."
He suddenly grew uncomfortable. "Oh, uh, okay, sure. After you."
Together they exited the room and traveled down the hallway in an uneasy silence. Starfire was trying to figure out the words she should use when questioning Robin while the Boy Wonder was practically a bundle of nerves at the thought of Starfire interrogating him. The timing seemed so sudden; however a lot had happened in the past several days.
As they finally arrived on the roof and took their usual spots the sun had just begun its decent. The two Titans were bathed in a soft orange glow. Starfire began tapping her index fingers together.
"Robin," she said uncertainly. "I wanted to offer my apologies."
He glanced at her strangely. "Why? You haven't done anything wrong, Star."
She shook her head. "But I have. I have lied to you. Beast Boy and I…we were never a-"
Her head snapped up and she looked at him in shock. "You knew?"
He nodded. "I kind of had my doubts. It just seemed so sudden and all."
"My question is…why though?" he asked suddenly.
Starfire blushed and avoided his gaze again. "I have not asked my question first," she told him, glad to have a change in the topic.
Robin blinked in confusion and then reluctantly nodded signaling her to go on. He grew concerned when she blushed a deep red.
"The other day, when we played the football and we fell, you…kissed me," she told him rubbing her shoulder. "I was just wondering why you did so."
The sun sank lower, engulfing them in red.
As she said her question Robin's skin color turned bright rouge so it mimicked hers.
"Uh, what was the question again?" he asked sheepishly and she rolled her eyes-something she had picked up from Beast Boy-and offered a small smile.
"You are kidding. You did not forget the question. I wish to know, and please tell me the truth," she pleaded looking into his mask causing his blush to deepen even more.
He couldn't help it. He began floundering. "I…uh…I suppose because you're so…because I'm so…I was just frustrated."
Starfire cocked her head to the side. "I do not understand."
He shrugged. "I mean I guess even though I kinda already knew about you and Beast Boy it was just ticking me off in a weird way. I needed to stand my ground."
"So you were…jealous?" she inquired a little hope tainting her voice.
"W-what? That doesn't make sense, w-why would I-I be..." he stuttered and then decided to stop altogether. It was better to say nothing than to embarrass himself. "Why does it matter?" he said quietly.
The sun's rays began to leave them as a few stars poked out.
"Well," she said hesitantly, "to answer your inquiry from before…that may have been the goal of the actions of Beast Boy and me." Tears pricked her eyes. "I-I am most ashamed. I thought you did not like me and-"
"That's ridiculous," he said sharply, and then his expression softened. He slowly and delicately placed his hand over hers. "I like you a lot. More than I should probably. You're my best friend, Star."
"I know," she said, blinking back tears. She took a deep breath. Was she really about to say this? "And you are mine. But, Robin…I see you as so much more." Her hand left his as she cupped his cheek. "Robin…I…I-"
He didn't let her say anymore. In one motion his lips softly captured hers, saying more in that one touch than he could ever express in words.
Raven stared at Beast Boy for a long time. "I suppose we just forget."
He stared back at her sadly. "I don't want to forget. It's not just Starfire, it's this feeling that I have…well had. It was especially strong with Terra and I…I want it to stay like that."
She sighed. "Gar…I can't help you. In a way…I want to feel the same thing. I just…I mean with Malchior…I felt…"
"With Terra it was almost like I was…"
"Normal," they said together, and then their eyes snapped up at the same time; slight blushes had risen on their cheeks.
Beast Boy made a tiny smile. "I know what you mean. I just don't want to be alone, you know?" He risked taking her hand in a comforting gesture and was surprised when he didn't explode.
Raven didn't smile, but she did give a tiny squeeze back. "You know, someone told me once that I was never alone."
He gave her a wide grin that revealed his teeth. "He must have been really awesome."
"Or stupid," she deadpanned, still not letting go.
But maybe he was right.
End of Part I