So this is a new story I thought about just before going to sleep. I stayed up all night to finish the first chapter for you guys so I really hope you enjoy this little SuzaxLulu love story I made up. Please R&R.
I can't do it. I won't do it. I'll freak out and do something stupid if I go, and I can't ruin such a special day. Not now, that he's finally happy.
I take the wedding invitation in my hands and set my mind to tear it to pieces, but I just can't. I trace my fingers over the white and red frames of it. It really is a nice invitation. I read it over and over again in my mind even though it kills me every time I see her name. That woman, who is going to become his wife in less than two weeks. I sigh deeply and place the wedding invitation on my night stand bottom drawer hoping that it would disappear by the time morning comes around, after that I settle in my bed and set my mind to sleep, although all I can think about is him.
Lelouch Vi Britannia.
Lelouch and I were childhood friends. Our mothers were best friends so when we were born we were always together. When we were 10 we built our own fort deep in the woods, we had all sort of stuff in there: books, toys, video games, even a small TV. We would always go to the arcade and spent hours playing the same game trying to beat each other's highest scores. Since kindergarten 'till high school, we were always together. Lelouch was my best friend, no one knew me better than him and I knew him better than he did himself; then I fell in love with him. For a whole year I kept my feeling for him a secret, but I hurt every time I saw him just talking to other girls, so I confessed to him and to my surprise he returned my feeling. We dated for two years and we were so happy, or at least I was. The day we graduated Lelouch broke this off with me, he told me he was moving to England and that he wasn't coming back. After that I never spoke to Lelouch again.
I heard the doorbell ringing incessantly. It became louder, clearer.
I rolled over in bed and saw it was 2 in the afternoon. Fuck, I need to get my shit together, I can't even sleep now, last night I fell asleep at 5:30 in the morning.
It's been 3 days since I received Lelouch's wedding invitation, and those past three days have been a nightmare, not only because my whole past came back crushing everything I've ever worked for, but because every minute of the day I thought of him and our old selves.
"Okay I'm coming! Just hold on!" I yelled to whoever was ringing the doorbell incessantly. I stood up from the bed and threw on a shirt since I was wearing nothing but pajama pants. As I walked to the door I ran my hand through my hair to brush the mess I had in my head. My heart stopped when I opened the door.
"Took you long enough to open the door. You shouldn't be sleeping in this late." His voice was like a melody to my ears. It's been so long since I heard his voice. He sounds tired but he's trying to hide it behind a smile and a sweet little laugh. He also has dark circles under his eyes, barely visible to anyone but not to me, I see them clearly as I know every inch of his beautiful pale face.
Don't abandon me again Lelouch.
I miss you.
My eyes flicker open and I see the sunlight hitting my eyes directly, but I can't seem to move my arms. What happened? The last thing I remember was darkness taking over me and something pulled me down into it. I felt something stroking my hair. No, not something, some one. Lelouch. I quickly sat down and looked down at Lelouch's lap where my head was resting seconds ago. What is he doing here? Isn't it enough torture to just have to know he is getting married?
"You're awake." He says as he smiles kindly. How I miss that smile, it's still as beautiful as always. I nod my head and cough. I know I should feel awkward being around him after everything that's happened but I don't, I still feel as comfortable as ever with him around me.
I can't bare the silence any more, I can't bare being around him without feeling that my heart is going to break into a million pieces all over again. "Why did you came here?" I ask him coldly as I look away from him and into a window, but I can still see him, his reflection. His smile drops and a pained expression appears on his face. I still hate to see him in pain.
"I wanted to talk to you about something." He replies just as coldly as I did and I regret opening the door when he rang the doorbell. I should've just waited until he left defeated, just like the last three people who have rang my doorbell the past three days. One of them my mother.
"There's nothing to talk about." I answered as I stood up. "Now if you excuse me I have work to do, please leave." I lie, the truth is that I haven't been working since I got the invitation; I took a break from work. Please don't ever leave me again.
"But I really need to tell you this. It's about the… wedding." He barely says the last word in a whisper.
"I don't need to hear it. I'll be there supporting you and her." I lie again and give him what I hope it looks like a warm smile. "I'm really looking forward to seeing your mother again." Another lie. Why do I keep lying? Why can't I just tell him that I still love him and that it kills me to see him happy with another person.
Oh that's right. Because he is happy and it would be extremely selfish of me to ruin his happiness over something from our past. Our past. Oh, how I miss that. I secretly wish we could be in high school again, walking home hand in hand. Kissing goodnight after a date at the karaoke. Sleeping together after a night of heavy drinking. Tucking him in my bed because he is too drunk to do it himself. I sigh deeply and start to walk away from him, but he stops me grabbing my arm.
"I'm sorry." He whispers. I barely heard him. "I'm sorry I broke things off so suddenly after our graduation. I'm sorry I never said goodbye to you properly. I'm sorry I never told you the truth behind the break up. And I'm sorry I lied to you all this years."
What? Lied? What has he been lying to me about? He has my attention now and I turn around slowly, never letting him lose his grip in my arm. I'm happy with him touching me, even if it's just like this. "What are you talking about?" He didn't say anything; he merely looked down at our connected bodies by his hand and my arm. His hand is warm. I smile on the inside. "Answer me Lelouch." It's been so long since that name slipped from my lips.
"The morning of our graduation ceremony my grandfather told me that I was to take over my family's company. Since my father is not available for the job I was supposed to take it. I refused but he threatened me telling me he'd disown me and cut off all connections with my family if I refused. So I left. My grandfather told me I could never come back to Japan as a family member. You get along with my family so well that I could never ask you to come with me just for my selfish reasons of not wanting to take over the company and keeping you by my side. Moving to England was the only thing I could think of doing by the time. I had been accepted into a well-known university and was going to study what I wanted to.
By the end of last year I got a phone call from my mother telling me that my grandfather said that if I got married I could return to the family. By the time I had met a pretty and very nice girl in campus named Shirley, and I saw an opportunity in her of returning. After a couple of weeks she became my girlfriend and last month I proposed to her, called my family and told them the news. My grandfather welcomed me and Shirley with open arms, seeing in her a fit candidate of caring a male firstborn that will eventually take over the company."
After Lelouch's speech I just stood there, completely speechless. It all made sense now. He never left because he didn't love me anymore or because he was disgusted by me. He was forced to leave… But that doesn't mean he still loves you. I have to stay strong and swallow my feelings. He will get married to that girl named Shirley and he will return to Japan, that's the only way. I won't take away his family with my selfishness.
"It doesn't matter now." I shook off his grip from my arm and walked to the kitchen. I felt him hot on my heels. Stop following me and just leave already. He's making this harder than it already is. "You'll get married to her and be happy together."
"But that's the problem." He said as he took my hand again. I didn't turn around. I couldn't face him. Don't do this. "I won't be happy. I don't want this." Don't. "I can't be happy unless you…" Please, stop torturing me. I beg you. "Unless you're in my life." I felt the tears starting to roll down my cheeks. I was shaking and my heart was about to explode in my chest.
"Please. Don't do this right now. You are getting married in less than two weeks."
"Not if you give me a reason not to." He barely whispered in my neck. He was really close to me. When did he move so close? I could feel his body behind mine. His breath was hot and I sensed anger in him. Why was he angry?
I turned around to finally look at him. "We can't do this Lelouch." He took my head in his hands and whipped off my tears with his thumbs. I'm sure my face was flushed by the time, I could feel the heat.
"Why not?" He took a step closer to me and almost rested his forehead in mine. I squeezed my eyes shot as more tears fell down. I'm about to break. I need to be strong, for both of us. I can't. He kissed my forehead and asked again. "Why not Suzaku?" I gasped by the sound of my name being pronounced by him. That was my limit. He easily broke down all the walls I had built around my heart to protect me from him.
"Because I need you closer." I finally confessed my true feelings after hearing his story. "Because… I can't bare being so far away from you. I want you to return home. I miss you." I closed my eyes again as he rested his forehead in mine and kept whipping away my tears.
"Do you still love me?" His question took me by surprise but I knew the answer right away. I've always known the answer to that and I can't refuse the truth. I nodded.
Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. I hear in my ears the erratic beating of my heart. But wait, it's not my heart beat that I'm hearing, it's Lelouch's. Without noticing he pulled me into a hug, and I buried my head into his chest, making me able to hear his heartbeat.
"I still do too Suzaku." He whispered into my hair as he squeezed me hard, but I didn't mind, because I was in his arms again. I hugged him back, as tight as I could and gripped into his jacket, just in case he decided to move away.
"I love you so much Lelouch. I can't even begin to tell you how much I've missed you." I confessed to him, my voice being muffled by his jacket.
"I love you to Suzaku, so much." He answered and I smiled widely. "Don't think about anything else. I'm here with you, I won't go anywhere. You won't miss me anymore. I won't leave you ever again. I promise."
He pulled away and I instantly missed the closeness, but I was comforted again by his lips as he kissed me. For over three years I haven't been able to savor his delicious and soft lips and now that I can again, I won't be letting them be apart from mine for a long time.
"L-Lelouch." I moaned into his neck as he thrusted into me again, as he did so he hit my sweet spot and that combined by his hand on my cock moving up and down made me scream out in pleasure.
"I love your voice Suzaku. I've missed it so much." His thrusts became more forceful, but never did he make me lose the feeling of love into our act. We were making love again, and as desperate as we are and crave each other's bodies so much, we took our time.
I moaned his name loudly again and squeezed him with my insides. I knew he loves that and drives him crazy. He groaned and thrusted harder into me, I dug my nails on his back and pushed him closer by wrapping my ankles over his ass.
"God, you're driving me crazy Suzaku." He kissed me and I returned the kiss with as much passion as I could put into it. All of our past feelings, our new feeling, our future ones, they were all reflected here, right now.
"I love you so much." I screamed out as his thrusts became faster and more erratic, also his movements of his hand on me. I knew he was close, and so was I, but I wanted to come just by his thrusts, so I moved his hand away and he pinned both of my hands above my head as he kissed me again. After one last thrust we both came, screaming out loud each other's names like we used to do in the past. But that is old news, I'd never have to go back and smile at those old memories, because I'll make new memories from now on, and they'll be better than the past ones.
Lelouch collapsed on top of me and rolled us over so I had half my body on top of his. He pulled me closer to him and I nuzzled his neck. We enjoyed the silence as he stroke my hair and I drew small patterns in his chest. After a few minutes I asked the one question I wanted to avoid, but knew I couldn't. "What's going to happen now?"
He sighed in content and kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry about it right now okay? We'll deal with this tomorrow. Together." I smiled at him and decided to push that problem to the back of my head until morning. For now I'll just enjoy being with Lelouch, even if it's just for a night.
I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter and tomorrow I'll post the second one. Goodnight to me! _