When I wake up I have a moment where I don't remember anything from the night before. The bed is empty beside me when I instinctively throw my arm out to look for Ana. The realisation jars me and everything comes running back. I try to close myself up against the pain of Grandpa T's illness as I have done before, but this time it's just to recent for that technique to be effective. I clench my fists, staring up at the ceiling. Sometimes it feels as though me and my family can never catch a single peaceful moment for any length of time.
Then another memory hits me. Ana inviting José and his father to thanksgiving as well as Ray, and then all of my emotions culminating in that one scene with her outside the playroom. I shut me eyes, furious, but this time with myself. I know what I had been about to do. I had been about to punish her. She was right, as she almost always is when it comes to me. I'm glad she stopped me but that doesn't explain where she is now. A tingle of fear begins to run through me. Where the fuck is she?
I get out of bed slowly and in what seems like seconds I have brushed my teeth and am walking into the kitchen where Ana is cooking herself breakfast. I set two places at the breakfast bar and watch her as she moves. She gave me a cursory glance when I walked in but hasn't said anything yet. I think about trying to start the conversation but decide against it. I watch her nervously as she transfers the omelettes onto plates and then sits beside me.
'We need to talk about yesterday.' She says, and to my surprise her tone isn't angry, it's tired. I don't know if it's because of the morning sickness or because of me I suspect it's both and probably more because of me than the pregnancy symptoms. I just nod at her and she sighs.
'Christian, I know yesterday was a bit of a shock for you.' I can't help it. I glare at her. A bit of a shock? Did she seriously just say that?
'Ok more than a bit of a shock,' she acknowledges looking alarmed, 'and I understand that I should have spoken to you before asking your mother about inviting José and his father.'
'Damn right you should have' I mutter.
'But,' she cuts me off, 'your response was not appropriate. We can't keep on doing this. Me doing something stupid and you trying to punish me for it.'
I shuffle in my seat guiltily. She is right.
'If it were just me and you this wouldn't be such an issue, but you have got to get a handle on this before the baby arrives'
'I'm trying,' it takes me a while to say the words and when I do she sighs.
'I know you are.' He wraps her arms around me, and I receive my first kiss of the day. It's slow, and not filled with the hunger and passion that consume most of our kisses. This kiss feels like my promise to try harder for my family.
For the next week after that things seemed to calm down. It was still a time of grieving for Grandpa Trevelyan and the stress of mom's trial but all was sunny in the garden in every other way. Christian and I went to work as usual exchanging the usual email banter, and we visited the house again to see what progress had been made. It's still so big I can hardly believe that this gorgeous house is going to be my home.
The planning for thanksgiving was going well too. Kate, Mia and I had a huge shopping spree getting everything ready for decorating the Grey house for thanksgiving, as well as getting a few things to decorate our apartment, Kate's apartment and Elliot's house. I noticed that she slipped a few other things in for the latter, and I wondered if she'd told Elliott about her redecorating for him. Somehow I doubted it.
Now that we are only a week away from the big event and despite everything that is going on I am excited. My dad is coming, and after a long talk with Christian I have invited both José and his father as well. José will be driving them down here as since the accident Mr Rodriguez doesn't feel safe driving anymore and my dad is unable to. There's one thing to take of my list of worries.
Today Christian has promised to surprise me. I am excited. I think of all the things it could be. My mind immediately flits to the Grace, or gliding but I don't think it will be either of those things. His surprises are usually things that are new and totally unexpected.
When I get into the foyer he's there and I try to get a hint to where we are going from what he is wearing. He's in a t-shirt and jeans. Quite frankly my husband looks hot.
'Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?' He shakes his head, giving me one of his rare mischievous grins.
I am practically bouncing on the balls of my feet when we finally get to the garage level of the building. When he leads me to his R8 I look at him, only slightly disappointed that I won't be able to drive mine. Then again driving in it with Christian tends to be a stressful experience.
He helps me into the car and within seconds we are driving. I recognise the route he is taking me. It's definitely the same route that we go to get to the port where the Grace is docked. Maybe he is going to teach me how to sail it. I can't think of any other reason this would be the big surprise that he seems to think it is.
'We're going to the Grace?' I ask and my confusion must show on my face. He laughs.
'Yes, but that's not the surprise.'
'Oh,' my excitement doubles, and I bounce in my seat, but immediately stop when he scowls at me; ever the safety enthusiast.
Mac is there and he smiles his usual familiar smile at me when we arrive. I ask him if he knows the secret and he just smiles at me. Obviously he does know what Christian has in store then.
This time when we set off I help to get us going, drawing on knowledge that Christian has imparted to me on our other few trips out to sea on this boat. As usual I am decked out in a lifejacket. It doesn't take long with three of us helping out, and before I know it we are sailing out into the open water.
As he has done every other time, Christian takes this opportunity to teach me certain things about how to sail, and to see what I remember. If you had told me this time last year that I would be sailing, or helping others to sail I would have laughed. Never in a million years would I have thought that I, one of the clumsiest people on the planet, would be able to so this without at least seriously injuring myself.
Finally Christian tells me that we are stopping and my excitement resurfaces again, now that I don't have to concentrate on rope or steering the boat. We are in the same place we stopped last time, near a beach and I expect Christian and Mac to lower to small boat and Mac to get into it but only half of what I expect to happen actually does. They do lower the boat but instead of Mac rowing to shore Christian guides me into it and this time we are the ones setting out to the shore of the distant beach.
He proves why he has all the rowing trophies in the steady rhythm he makes as he moves us quickly towards the shore. It feels like no time before he is helping me out of the boat onto the sand. The beach is deserted, and that surprises me. It's stunning here. The whole ocean is our view and I can't see the Grace from the Cove that Christian has rowed us into.
'It's stunning.' I say, gazing around in awe. The sand is soft beneath me and I am tempted to take of my shoes and go running in it as though I am a little girl again. I resist the urge only because Christian grabs my hand and pulls me into a kiss that leaves me breathless.
'I thought you would like it.' He smiles at me, 'I bought it this morning.'
Of course he did. I almost roll me eyes at him, but I can't bring myself to pull them away from, what I now realise, is our own private beach.
'This is the surprise?' I ask. This was not what I had been expecting.
He pulls my face up so that my eyes meet his. I think he is trying to read my expression, and I'm not sure what he will find. I love the fact that this is mine, but I am stunned and overwhelmed all over again at the fact that I am now rich enough that owning my own beach is now not only something I can afford, but something I can afford without even making a dent in the capitol of Christians, our money. This is insane.
He frowns at me, 'Do you like it?' He asks, 'I can sell it again if you don't.'
I laugh a little, and even to me it sounds a little hysterical, 'Don't you say,' I laugh.
The afternoon is wonderful. Christian leads me around the beach, pointing things out to me, including a very large beach house. He seems to be acquiring a lot more property since we have been together, and for the first time I start to feel that this is for me. I don't need it, nor have I ever dreamt of the life I have now but it is mine.
I squeal when he leads me around the side of the house and I spot the jet skis. Christian tells me that they have been tested to make sure they are safe but apart from that they have never been used. He makes it very clear that I will not be riding one until the baby is born. I don't disagree.
After an hour of touring the beach we are back at the cove and in a rare moment of total calm between us I ruin it by lunging at him. He catches me and out mouths move together, frantically. I know that no one can see us here. He gently lays me on the sand, his body on top of me He pushes his erection into me, through our clothes and I moan. He does it again and this time I push back into him.
He sits back on his heels and just looks at me for a while, stopping all contact abruptly, the outline of his erection clear through the denim of his pants.
'Undress for me,' he orders in a voice that sounds almost like a purr. For a second I am too disorientated, still lying on the sand where he was taking my breath away only moments ago. When I have gathered myself enough to take in what he has just said I get to my feet. Slowly my hands move down to the hem of my T-shirt and I life it over my head.
His eyes follow the movement hungrily and then move back to drink in my body that is now on show. I leave my bra until last, shedding all of my other clothing, including my shoes and socks with a grace that I have rarely seen in myself.
I am now exposed completely, apart from my black lace bra and now I put my plan into action. I unclip it at the front and finally my breasts are bared to him. I don't give him time to drink me in completely though as I throw the bra at him and manage to bolt past him before he can get over the shock of what I have just done. I sink into the sea and smirk at him as he gazes at me with amusement, still fully clothed on the beach. My inner goddess is celebrating through the medium of a victory dance while my subconscious sticks her tongue out at him. I hug myself with joy. This has gone very well.
All three of us stop what we are doing immediately when my husband, the most glorious man I have ever met, smirks at me and begins to take off his clothes just as leisurely as I just have. When he is just down to his underwear my mouth is hanging open, the triumphant mood from a moment way replaced by sheer lust. He moves slowly, and the bastard drags it out my folding out clothes neatly and placing them at on the rock.
Finally he takes off his underwear once he's facing me again and my mouth goes dry as his erection springs free. Oh my, he is a fine figure of a man.
He steps out of them, deciding apparently to leave them where they are and walks, wades and then swims over to me.
'Mrs Grey,' he says silkily, 'That was a very dirty trick you just played.'
I make a sort of squeaking noise in the back of my throat, but can't articulate anymore. Fantastic, the confidence that I seem to have been building up over the last few weeks seems to have deserted me now
Christian moves forwards pulling me towards his body and I can feel his erection pressing against me once again, and then his hand is trailing a path down my side and through the water. I gasp when he inserts first one finger and then another inside me. I rest my head against his shoulder, concentrating on the pleasure now radiating through me. Holy shit this is just as good as ever.
'Another first Mrs Grey,' he whispers into my hair but I don't respond. I can't respond as that all too familiar pressure starts to build inside me. My legs stiffen and all that is holding me up is his other arm wrapped around me. I am close, my breath ragged and then he withdraws his fingers. I let out a sound of protest which quickly turns into a moan when he lifts me in the water and in one swift mood fills me with a groan. I cum instantly around him, the word fragmenting into colours.
When I come back down I can feel the pleasure building again. We move together, frantically in the water of ocean, finishing what we started on our honey moon right before I had gotten into trouble for taking off my bikini top. His thrusts start fast but gets faster the longer we go. I don't know or care how loud I am being. His pace is merciless and once again I am close.
'Cum for me baby,' he grunts into my ear, and once again I explode feeling only him, only this moment. I forget everything and everyone for a moment in this glorious moment. He goes rigid in my arms before I have come back down and silently he cums deep inside me.
Christian has insisted that we come back to the boat immediately. This was party because it is November and the water is cold and he wants to make sure that I don't get sick from the cold. Apparently he also has another surprise for me on board. I know he has even more clothes on there for both of us, and, thankfully, a hairdryer.
Mac helps us back onto the deck of the Grace and I look at him for any sign that he knows what we were doing there for so long but he doesn't show any.
I walk straight the our cabin and I am glad when I have on a new set of clothes, completely sand free and my hair is dry. When I come out of the bathroom, after showering and drying my hair Christian is still not there. I was slightly disappointed when he hadn't offered to shower with me, but the reason for this was obvious as soon as I saw the shower.
As with everything that Christian owns the shower is nice, but it is also still small enough that showering with two people would be cramped, so he has gone to shower in one of the four other showers on the boat. I think about going to look for him but I would get lost, or it would make him angry after I told him that I would wait for him so I sit on the bed and wait.
I find myself just glancing around the room, and then I frown. The boat is the very opposite of our palatial art museum of an apartment. There is only one picture in here, a landscape of some fields, and it looks as though it belongs in a hotel room rather than a privately owned boat. I have just made up my mind that we really so need to redecorate the boat when Christian himself walks in dressed in another pair of jeans and, of course, a black T shirt. My eyes drink him in as though they are starving and Christian himself is a banquet. Of course he notices and his easy smile turns into a smirk.
'See something you like Mrs Grey.'
'Always Mr Grey,' I reply, sending him my own smirk.
He walks up to me and pulls me to my feet. He is so close to the bed that when I stand up I am pressed up against him.
'I'd love to stay in here and …' He presses his already substantial erection into me as an end to the sentence, 'But I would really like to show you something, and I would rather avoid being over heard by Mac.'
I don't fully comprehend his words until he is pulling away and almost dragging me out the room, still stunned. He looks excited, my favourite version of him where he looks more like an eager little boy than the immensely successful business man that he is.
He pulls me down two corridors until we are standing outside one of the other bedrooms. I haven't been in here since the first time that Christian gave me the tour around the boat.
'This is the first,' he says and his voice drips excitement. Slowly he swings the door open and I gasp. Inside the large room has been transformed. The first time I had seen it it had an expensive, but simple bedroom layout; a large bed, two bedside tables, a dresser, a vanity table and several chairs. The only things that remains from the old room are the chairs. The rest of it has been turned into …
'It's a library,' I whisper, walking over to the obviously antique desk, and then moving to brush my hands over some of the books, that are on shelves lining the walls.
'It's yours,' He says, and he looks almost triumphant, I thought you'd want somewhere of your own to do work when we go out on the boat. I feel like Belle from the Disney move beauty and the Beast; Seeing both the library and a haven. Somewhere that I could easily get lost in for hours without even trying.
'Oh Christian it's wonderful,' my voice is so quiet and awed that it is a wonder that he even hears me, but he does. With slow strides he makes his way towards me, and I kiss him, long and hard. Oh this man, who can be so infuriating, is still one of the best men I have ever met, and he's mine. I can't even imagine how long this took to put together.
'You ready for number two,' He breathes when we surface for air, and I nod, again not able to imagine what else he has in store. This time he leads me back to another one of the cabins that we passed to get to my library. This time when he opens the door I grin widely.
It's a nursery; a pirate themed nursery no less. The walls are painted in various shades are blues. Mostly a sky blue but fringed at the bottom with waves in a darker shade. The Crib is in the shape of a boat, and I expect that Christian has had it specially made to fit the theme of the room pictures of Peter pan and pirate ships adorn the wall, but my favourite piece of furniture in the room is the treasure chest toy box.
'It's perfect,' I grin, 'Christian when did you do all of this?'
'The library was finished about a month ago,' He sounds sheepish, 'And they started work in here,' he gestures around the room, 'the day of the scan.'
I gape at him. That was only a week ago. I don't know much about interior decorating but even I know that that is seriously fast to accomplish all this.
We only spend a few more minutes in the room before Christian remembers the time, and the fact that Mac is probably waiting on deck to return to the port. I help them to sail back into the port, again being guided by Christian into the harbour.
It's been one of those days that hasn't flown by but has been perfect anyway. It's been a day that both of us could just relax and for a short while just forget about everything that makes life so complicated for us.
Ok I'll be honest … the reactions to the last chapter were …. I'm gonna say mixed. I didn't expect such strong reactions to it
I actually wrote this chapter twice, checked what day this would have been in 2011 and then had to rewrite it all when I realised it wasn't a work day so that's why it took a while
Thanks for your reviews, follows and favourites as always.