Title: Exploring Sexuality
Disclaimers: I really don't own Sherlock, John, or any of the other characters, settings, etc…
Warnings: Mention of hate crimes… very brief, but if that triggers you of bothers you, please don't read. I don't want to upset anyone xoxo
It happened again. It happens a lot still. When it happens now, though, John just gives up. He drops a polite nod and a shy smile. No longer does he immediately respond with, "Oh, but we're not-" or, "I'm not gay."
But he wasn't, for anyone who still cared.
That is not to say, by any means or stretch of the imagination, that John Watson had anything against the LGBTQA community. How could he, with Harry?
In fact, he usually goes out of his way to try to get Sherlock to take those cases when they come up. There was a bi teenage boy who was killed a month or so ago, for example. Sherlock almost didn't take the case, but John had looked at him and said a sincere, "Please." Sherlock had given him an odd look, too fleeting for John to place it, but agreed, much to Lestrade's thanks. He solved the case three days later.
After any case, Sherlock usually didn't even make it to his room, he merely crashed on the couch as soon as Lestrade let them go home, and after that case had been no exception.
Sherlock lay sprawled out on the couch, and John made himself a cup of tea. The case had been brutal, a hate crime, and those always reminded John of his sister, all the teasing she endured. He took his cuppa to the living room, switching on the telly for background noise. And he watched Sherlock. It was so unusual that he was still, let alone actually sleeping, and John knew he was one of very few people to have seen the great Sherlock Holmes look so… Normal. Vulnerable, even. Sleep took at least five years off the other bloke's face. He looked beautiful, John thought.
What? No. John was straight.
But this hadn't been the first time John had found his eyes or thoughts wandering, and he was starting to accept it, in the back corners of his mind. Maybe he wasn't exclusively heterosexual. Sherlock really did look beautiful, John let himself think again. With his dark curls, high cheekbones, lean torso…
"Stop," Sherlock's deep voice mumbled, startling John out of his reverie.
"What? Sorry," John said immediately, almost out of habit, shaking his head as if to dispel his thoughts. But Sherlock hadn't so much as moved. His chest was still rising and falling slowly, and his blue-grey eyes were hidden. Closed. His eyes were closed.
"You're staring," Sherlock informed him, still not moving. "Stop it. You woke me up."
John continued staring, baffled now, tea untouched in his hands. "My staring woke you," John stated slowly. It wasn't even a question.
"Yes, stop it. Or I will not go back to sleep," Sherlock replied curtly, opening his eyes to glare at John.
John felt his cheeks blush faintly as he met Sherlock's gaze for a second before looking away, to the telly, with a nod. "Right, yes then. My apologies, go back to sleep." Sherlock didn't sleep enough to begin with, had barely slept the past three days. He needed the sleep. John needed to stop staring. When had he started staring in the first place?
After what must have been over a minute, he felt Sherlock's glare subside as the other man's eyes slid shut again. John kept his eyes on whatever crap show was on the telly, though he wasn't really seeing it.
That had been the first of four such encounters in the month that passed since the teen's case. Neither of them ever said anything about the incidents once they had passed, but John could feel that things between him and Sherlock were starting to change. He couldn't quite tell how, but he knew Sherlock could feel it too. They talked less, then more, then less again. It went on for weeks, and John didn't stop staring.
"Demiromantic, recently bi-curious," Sherlock said from the doorway leading to the kitchen as John was cooking supper.
John didn't even look up. "Excuse me?" he asked instead, only half comprehending what it was Sherlock had actually even said in the first place.
"That's what you are. I'm demi-panromantic, grey-ace."
John could feel Sherlock staring holes in the back of his head, daring him to turn around, but he refused to turn away from the stove. "Sherlock, I don't even think I know what half of that means. Let alone how it applies to either me or you."
Sherlock sighed exasperatedly and walked back into the living room, throwing himself on the couch. He didn't move for the rest of the night.
By the time John was ready to go to bed, Sherlock still hadn't moved, hadn't so much as spoke another word. Used to his temper tantrums, John sighed and took his laptop with him to his room. And, because he was really no closer to understanding what Sherlock had said earlier, he Google-d it.
Demiromantic- needs a strong emotional connection to be romantically attracted to someone.
Bi-curious- John understood that one already, though had never thought to apply it to himself until Sherlock had said it.
Panromantic- can be romantically attracted to anyone, regardless of sexuality, gender identity, of gender expression.
Grey-ace- Grey Asexual. Mostly asexual, but with one or more exceptions, not necessarily dictated by any sexual preference.
John let all that process in his head as he shut his laptop down. After half an hour or more, he had come to two conclusions. One was that Sherlock was right, on practically everything. John was surprised he figured out the romantic part out as well, seeing as he had never thought there was a difference himself. He also decided that that was far too much to say, and would henceforth think of it as Sherlock- and John-sexual in his head respectively, no matter how silly it sounded. The second thing was that Sherlock had tried to tell John he was in love with him. And he fell asleep with those thoughts swirling around in his head.
A/N: Edited 7/24/2013 because I really should just get a beta…