"Angel! Angel, pick up the damn phone and talk to me. Press the green button that says answer, you great pillock!" Spike groaned at thoughts of his technologically challenged, poof of a sire. Why could he discuss the complexities of Sartre but a bloody smart phone reduced him to a blithering idiot? Why was Buffy here? In this city? Why was life so bloody complicated? He'd had a simple mission, a simple place in society and he was getting by, happy. Maybe happy was stretchin' it a bit, but things were okay. He was his own vamp. He had a purpose. He didn't need complications, not now.

"Breaks over, Pratt. Back to the late night scaries, out for their milk and smokes." The Jones boy pushed back from the table he'd been sitting at, with a groan. "Geez, I hate late shift."

"There in a minute, Mike. Just checkin' in on the olds." Bloody Angel wasn't going to answer. Damn. No use leaving a message either. The great forehead couldn't work that simple task out either, usually. What the hell, may as well.

"Angel, it's Spike. Buffy showed up at the market. Large as life, with a basket of groceries that was for more than one. She's mad, 'course. Only to be expected 'cos once again I've been an idiot coward. She wants to meet me after work. Says she'll hunt me down if I don't show. Anyway, said I'd meet her at the Denny's up the road. She's pretty pissed at you. Call me." He pressed the end button. Bugger, he'd try again later.

...

"Angel. Angel, you'd better answer this damn phone. I'm so past mad! How could you do this to me? Again! You overbearing, old, self-righteous, self-flagellating... Oh, words fail me for how much I'm going to make you pay for this! If Spike's been around all this time and you kept him a secret, I'm so going to dance on your grave. Just 'cos you're all human being doesn't mean I won't bruise you some." No answer. That'd be right. Probably can't find the right button to push on the phone but he sure finds my buttons alright! I so want to kill something right now! Leave a message. I'll leave a message!

"Angel, it's Buffy. Would you mind ringing soonest. Please. Got a tiny problem I need to talk to you about. That'd be good. Bye. Oh, all the best to Nina. Bye." That rat bastard! He's so gonna pay. Good mind to sick Dawn on him. In her current mood she'd more than tear him a new one if she knew Angel was doing it again!

...

"Angel, Angel. Come on pick up the phone. You're in so much trouble mister. Buffy is so off her head, mad, right now. Answer, please. Oh, ow. Down junior. You're not coming out yet are you? Though I wish you would, I feel like a whale and I'm so over lumping you around. Come on Angel, pick up. Guess I better leave a message and hope you work out how to listen to it." Dawn sighed and rubbed her stomach, as she waited out the recording on the other end of the phone.

"Angel, it's Dawn. Um, Buffy's just come back from the market, yelling something about Spike and how she's so gonna kill you and then bring you back and kill you again and then stomp all over your grave. She's not making any sense and she stormed out of here after putting on her patrolling outfit - with the boots and all. She so doesn't patrol anymore unless something is really up her nose or some really nasty big bad is around. Um, can you call me back. I'm a bit worried she's gonna do something she'll be sorry for. And I want to know what you've done this time that's got right under her skin. Thanks. Byee."

...

"Bloody hell, ya big poof. Can't you once in my unlife be there when I need you. It's half ten and I gotta meet Buffy just after eleven... Pick up! Surely you and wolf girl aren't still at it. Nah, what'm I thinkin'. 'Aint got that sort of stamina anymore, have ya, real boy? Bugger, should'a stayed lost, shouldn't I? Knew comin' back here was goin' to get me in all sorts. Bloody hell, where are ya? Leave a soddin' message. Right, like you ever bloody listen to 'em. Angel, it's your favourite employee here and I've got a spot of bother that I need to consult you on, ya bloody... I mean ring me back... please."

...

"Why can't you ever just answer your phone, Angel? Not that I ring you all that much. This whole thing better not be what I'm thinking 'cos if it is, I'm so going to set fire to something! I shouldn't be upset like this in my condition. You're so going to pay for this if it's what I think. He's going to pay! Someone. Will. Pay! Answer the phone, Angel!" Dawn squeezed the phone in her hand as a small cramp passed through her overgrown belly. Her back ached all the time now and she could never get comfortable. Leave a message. That could be the theme song of her life, leaving messages.

"Angel, it's Dawn. Again. Please tell me you haven't been keeping secrets you have no right to keep. Buffy hasn't been this mad since she found out about Spike being back, right after he was gone again. That nearly killed her, if you remember. Call me."

...

"Angel, so help me god, I'm so going to... Ugh, never mind. It's time I got some answers from the vamp in question. We willbe talking though, you and I. Count on it!"

...

"Ya bloody sod, Angel. Never mind. I'm goin' to see my girl. If you don't hear from me, I'm probably a pile of dust in the corner booth."