I wonder where I'm getting all these stories from.

Friend: me?

Me:no. new story, guys. I might change it to different ratings due to lack of knowledge if I should write a sex scene or not. Maybe. How hard is it to write a p**** being stuck up an ass as a p**** is being fondled? There, you see? I wrote a sex scene right there. Basics of a guy having sex with a guy, people.

Friend: and just for that, this is definetly being rated M.

Me: really?

Friend: yes.

La Vie En Rose (Not)

He slept with me first.

But I feel in love with him.

Of course, I didn't think it was love at first. But every day I would notice something new about him that I liked-no, loved. The way he talked. The way he smiled. The way that he ate. How he drank. How well he drew. How childish-like he was. How he smelled. How he tasted. His expressions when we had se-

Sorry. Got carried away there. But you get the point.

I loved him. I knew I was in love after a while. I would've given up my heart and soul if I knew I could have his in return. But alas, life doesn't work that way. So I decided that I would just be happy with giving him pleasure. I would be happy with just his body. I could be happy with just his affections. My mind was alright. My body was satisfied.

But my heart wanted more.

It wanted everything; his mind, his body, his attentions, his affections, his love, but most of all his heart. But it knew it couldn't get that. So it grew colder and weaker. So weak and cold that the very thought of having him leave me hurt the most.

So when the end of high school came, I said goodbye to everything. I left him a note in his room, packed my bags, kissed my parents farewell and moved. Actually, I drove mostly before I settled somewhere. It felt wonderful for a while. I had nowhere to go to and no one to be with; and the loneliness was wonderful. But I knew I had to stop somewhere and start over again. I couldn't keep running away from my life.

So I found a quiet spot in a large town. I rented a decent apartment with the basics; bed, desk, bathroom and kitchen. I found a great job as a waiter. Hey, don't judge. My boss loves me, my coworkers adore me and I know most of my customers. Some of them are even what I consider friends.

I do go to school. I'm working on a degree in psychology. Figure I can solve other people's problems instead of my own. And I like the career. Truly. It fascinates me.

Right now I'm off of work. I'm supposed to be "studying" from my big test coming up, but something was attracting me to screen of my TV.

It was a movie that I watched before about some woman having to decide between to different men. Never could remember their names .One was in love with her first, but she felt she loved the other guy. So the first man was talking to her now, trying to convince her that what he felt was real. That he truly loved her.

"I know you like me and all, but don't you think that-" the woman said as she smiled jokingly at the first man.

"Aishite (1)." He said simply. I flinched.

He then hugged her close to her body as her eyes widen in shock. "I-"

I flicked off button on my TV remote. Lying down on my bed, I covered my eyes and laughed. "Haha. Kaito, those words don't suit you."

Why would I say this, you ask? Because.

The man that was on the screen was the man I loved and still love.


in high school, Kaito was always the charmer.

He slept with countless women and men. Rich, poor, young, old, it didn't matter to him. But the only catch was that he always kept it a one night stand, and he didn't like when people tried to claim that they were in a "special" relationship. Always one night stands.

That was probably why I felt so special. He seemed to never get tired of sleeping with me. He even had my number on speed dial. He never asked for someone's number. Nor did he ever keep it on his phone; much less keep it on speed dial. I guess I was the special whore.

By the way, I changed that number. If you were wondering.

When Kaito graduated, he was automatically offered jobs in all sorts of areas; modeling, showbiz, etc. but it was his brother Akaito that took over managing Kaito. Kaito began as a model, and soon after landed some big hits in showbiz. The movie I was watching earlier was one of his big hits.

Okay, I'll admit. I've been keeping an eye on him and an ear to the ground.

I've heard of his huge scandals with women. How at parties he had tons of woman flank him. He was young and attractive. Only 24 and still at the peak of his career, Kaito has it all.

But do you think it would be too much…if I thought he missed me?

That maybe he, too, couldn't sleep sometimes because of the memories?

And that he feels this same pain I feel in my chest?

I sighed.

Come on, Len. I groaned as I rose. Got to get to work. Mind off of the pain. I grabbed my coat and pulled on some black snow boots. Checking to make sure I had my key, I opened my door and waved at my neighbor as she returned. I heard my door lock with a soft click (auto locks rule) and headed on my way to my diner.


"Thank you for waiting." I said as I gave them their drinks. "Aw, why do you have to be so formal with us, Len?" one of the young men said as they took a drink of their beer. "Yeah, Len. You know us." Another guy said from a different table.

"Yes, I think you really know us." Another guy said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me on his lap. I yelped as I almost spilled my drinks. "Hey, watch it! I'm working! It's a profession!" I said as I hit him on the head with my fist. A few other women and men laughed and jokingly said; "Aww, lovers' splat!" "I think you should be gentler with our Len, Katsu."

"Yeah! Don't disrespect Len!"

"Hey!" I shouted. "Leave him alone!"

They were silent for three seconds exactly before turning to Katsu and saying in usion:

"He's defending Katsu."

Katsu was suddenly overwhelmed by the dark glares he was receiving.

I was walking away when my boss said that it was high time for me to get "my cute little ass home" before he "ravished the stuffing" out of me. I wacked him on the head with a spoon before saying "let me get this last customer."

"Kon'nichiwa." I said politely, bowing low. "Sorry for the wait. How many people will it be?" I rose to look at my customer only to gasp quietly. I recognized the deep blue hair before the customer took off the sunglasses he was wearing to reveal his azure blue eyes I once had kissed before. His lips…the very lips I used to adore with kisses opened to speak. He slowly blinked his eyes at me in a cats' kiss before saying;

"I've found you, Len."

(1)i love you is what he said. Not like daisuki dayo, which is like, a family like way of saying i love you, but like soulmates saying i love you. That is rhe kind of love the word means. True love.