The End of Penfold's Aunt

At the airport, Penfold stood waiting for his aunt. He dreaded the coming of his aunt, because of how much a pain in the butt she had been to him before. Not only did she have a broom for a fifth cousin, she publicly insulted Penfold—and even Danger Mouse—on the false belief that they were playing silly pretend games and not actually secret agents. She even insulted them right in front of Col. K.!

When the airplane landed, Penfold watched the passengers get off, but noticed his aunt was not among them. "That's strange, Chief," he said to DM. "I thought she was supposed to be on this plane. Not that I really was looking forward to it, but…"

"It's all right, Penfold," said DM. "I hope she's learned her lesson. How dare she insult us right in front of Col. K.! What nerves she has!"

The two looked back to find two bobbies escorting Penfold's aunt. "Okay," said Penfold. "She is on the plane after all, but she's been arrested."

"And I think know why," DM replied.

Penfold's aunt turned to give him a dirty look. "You idiot!" she screamed. "Will you ever learn? You should know better than those pretend games of yours! When will you shut up about that and get a real job?"

"YOU shut up!" the bobbies ordered. "You have believed a total lie! Danger Mouse and Penfold really are secret agents, and you are being charged with insulting the government!"

"The government, eh? So they really went too far after all!" Penfold's aunt continued. On and on she went, babbling about what she thought was the honest truth when in fact it wasn't.

"Will she ever get over it, Chief?" Penfold asked.

"I hope so, Penfold," said DM. "In this country, opening your mouth in such a way gets you behind bars. Wonder how the police would handle it if this was America?"

Later, while visiting the cell Penfold's aunt was in, Penfold and DM noticed Penfold's aunt was crying. She looked up in time to see them and said, "Penfold, my dear, you were not pretending after all. I should have paid more attention to the newspapers. Now I am awaiting my exile to a desert island, where I shall see no one, not even you, again."

"Serves you right," said DM. "Now you know what happens to those who insult an organization like mine. Play it cool, however, and the judges might exile you on a limited run, however." The two agents walked away, and DM continued the thought to himself. "And by limited run, I mean 40 years."


"Yes, Penfold?"

"What was the name of the restaurant you were telling me about? I think today was their special."

DM looked at his watch. "Oh, yes. Yes. You're right, Penfold. Today is the special at the Blarney Stone Diner. 2 can dine for £2.99. Shall we go now?"

"I'm ready when you are," Penfold smiled. "Just am sorry I'll never see my auntie Doreen again. Her intentions were good."

"Yes, they were," DM replied as they got into their car, the Mark III. "But even the most innocent looking can get into trouble if they just open their big mouth."


Danger Mouse © Cosgrove-Hall Productions, talkbackthames, and FremantleMedia