Chapter Twenty-Three: Truly All Alone
Walking down the hall in search of Buffy, Willow wrapped her arms tightly around the pile of junk food in her arms, knowing the Slayer couldn't resist chocolately goodness. She knew it was time to discuss the issues that seemed to be weighing between them. She couldn't handle having Buffy react the way she did every time Tara's name was brought up. As much as Buffy hated it, Willow needed her best friend and girlfriend to understand that Tara was very much a part of her past and she couldn't just let her go. Just like she knew Angel and Faith were a part of Buffy's past.
Willow frowned at the frustrating thought, irritated by the realization that two of Buffy's former lovers were in the building. What was worse was the knowledge that one of those former lovers still held parts of Buffy's heart.
Sighing in frustration, Willow turned the corner towards Buffy's room, knowing the blonde would more than likely be getting ready for bed about now. Willow was just about to turn the last corner heading to Buffy's room when she heard two very familiar voices talking in the distance. She knew the first was Buffy even if it was more than a whisper, and it didn't take her long to place Angel's much deeper voice, causing Willow to stiffen in surprise.
She couldn't make out what they were saying, just that they seemed to be in a deep conversation. She managed to depict her own name a few times as well as Faith's being tossed out there, but was unable to understand much of anything else.
Frowning at the unknown words, Willow started to walk back the way she had come when silence seemed to fill the air around her and a sense of dread filled her as she forced herself to turn that last corner that hid Buffy's room from sight. What she saw when she looked through the blonde's wide open door made her blood run cold as she watched in horror as Buffy's lips were pressed to Angel's in a passionate kiss, hands lost in each other's hair as the world faded away from the two unaware lovers.
Everything in Willow's arms hit the floor as the redhead seemed to lose control of herself. Food items scattered across the hallway floor and a sob tore from Willow's throat as she backed away, aware that Buffy and Angel had pulled apart to see her standing there in shock.
Buffy started moving from Angel and towards the confused redhead only to have Willow turn and sprint away from her, tears falling down her cheeks as she raced from the house and out into the yard before falling to her knees in the grass, unable to stop her body from finally giving out.
"Willow," Buffy cried out again, chasing after the redhead as she ran, stopping a few feet from her when Willow finally came to a stop as she fell to her knees with tears streaming down her face. "Let me explain."
"Explain what? You were kissing him Buffy!" Willow snapped, anger clear in her green eyes as she stared at the Slayer. "You...you were kissing him. I knew you still felt something for him. I knew it! But I figured it was just me being Willow and causing a panic over nothing. I knew something was between you too and I was right!"
"Willow, it's not what you think," Buffy said, reaching out to touch the redhead's shoulder, only to have Willow jerk to her feet and move away from her.
"Don't touch me. Do not touch me right now, Buffy," Willow warned her green eyes darkening as her anger continued to grow.
"Willow, please let me explain," Buffy whispered, holding her hands up palm forward in a sign of surrender to the redhead, knowing Willow's control was slipping.
"Why? So you can lie to me? You got so angry about me still being in love with Tara, and yet you turn around and kiss the one person that has the same special place to you as Tara does to me. How can you even have the right to be angry about my feelings for Tara when she's gone Buffy? She's gone and not coming back, and here you are kissing Angel who is right here and very much alive...well not alive, but you know what I mean!"
"Will, please. I'm sorry. If you'll let me explain..."
"No...I don't want to hear it. I should have known when the Seer said Angel would lose his soul that it'd be because of you. I was just too busy fooling myself that maybe you actually cared about me," Willow snapped, before turning to walk away from Buffy.
"No, have a good life with your murderous boyfriend," Willow replied, as she walked back up into the house, ignore Buffy's pleas for her to listen.
Once inside her room, Willow grabbed the bag in the back of her closet and quickly started tossing her clothes inside, along with a few spell books she knew she'd need. She couldn't believe that the world could be so cruel. She was alone once more with no one to pull her from the darkness. It seemed as though she was destined to live this life alone. Everyone she loved seemed to leave or be forced to leave.
Xander hadn't given her the time of day when she was in love with him. Oz left her. Tara was killed and snatched from her by the Fates, and now Buffy had turned away from her and back into the arms of a sadistic vampire that was only tamed because of his soul. A soul she had given him.
Willow closed her eyes as a sad sigh escaped her, forcing her to realize just how much the Fates hated her. She had royally screwed up, killing people, bringing Buffy back from the dead. This was the Fates way of punishing her for trying to take the world into her own hands. A part of her had known better than to do a resurrection spell for Buffy, but she couldn't stand the thought of Buffy being gone.
As Willow lost herself in her taunting thoughts, a soft knock echoed through her room, jarring Willow from her thoughts. "What?"
"Hey, Red. We're having a meeting in..." Faith's voice trailed off as she walked into the room and stared at the packed bag on the bed, surprised. "What the hell are you doing?"
Sighing in frustration, Willow turned to look at the slayer. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Willow challenged, irritated with her life as she continued to toss things into the open bag.
"It looks like your running away, but I can't seem to believe that considering that you and B have a relationship right now," Faith told her, frowning at the redhead. "What happened, Red?"
"Well, lets see here. Buffy and I argued. I talked to Xander about my insecurities concerning my relationship with Buffy which included Buffy's friendship with you and her feelings for Angel. After Xander assured me Buffy cared about me, I went to go talk to Buffy about my issues only to find her enjoying a nice little heated make out session with Angel, proving that I am very much all alone when it comes to protecting my heart," Willow explained, anger coursing through her veins as she zipped up her bag and started to walk from the room.
"Hold on a second, Red. You're not alone. You have friends here. Xander, Dawn, me. We're all here for you," Faith told her, grabbing Willow's arms to stop her from walking from the room.
"I know I have friends, Faith, but it doesn't make me any less alone. Everyone I love...everyone I want to be with...leaves. Oz left, Tara was taken, and now Buffy is back with Angel. I'm alone," Willow whispered, her voice breaking as she spoke.
For the first time since Willow had met the dark slayer, Faith did something that Willow never expected. She pulled the tearful redhead into her arms and held her as she cried, letting the redhead fall apart without fear or worry of being left alone in the despair. Faith eased them to the floor as sobs tore through Willow, and held the shaking witch the entire time.
A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for all the help with this chapter and story along with all my other stories. Also thank you LauratheChef for offering up a few ideas on how to get this story going again.
A/N2: This story will still be technically on hold since I don't know when I'm gonna be updating it. If I get inspiration I'll post an update, but it won't be one of the regular ones I'll be working on constantly. The chapter was something that I suggested to Gimpy72 as a thought and then after she agreed it was a good idea, my brain decided to keep me up half the night playing with the idea. Half of this chapter was written at night. Enjoy.