Chapter One: Meet the Joker
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or themes used in this story.
A note from the Author: If any of you reading this are also reading any of my other stories, I promise I will finish them I am just… taking some time off of them for now to write out my new ideas and stuff. There will be more to come. So for now, Unlikely Lovers will be a SIDE PROJECT.
Harley walked into the room and put her clip board on the table, and pulled the pen out of her hair, not looking up at the patient just yet. "Who are you?" He asked,
"I'd ask you the same." She said. "You've been here… two months, and still haven't given us a name yet, so until then, you won't have mine."
"Then you all should just call me how you know me. My name is the Joker." He said. She looked up at him and took off her glasses, He was in a straitjacket, and his feet were chained to the ground, but he still came off as menacing. She blinked slowly to regain her thoughts. "So who are you?" he repeated. She sighed,
"My name is Dr. Quinzel." She said, "Dr. Hart has moved away from your case and it was given to me." She said. He smiled,
"Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?" He asked,
"Flattering will get you nowhere with me, Mr. Joker." She said, She made a note of it on her clip board and returned his attention to him. "As it was with Dr. Hart, I will be in here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and available to you on any other day if I am needed. Your therapy will be centered in on your depression, destructive behavior, delusions, and temper."
"I don't have a temper." He said. She sighed,
"Dr. Hart seems to think you do."
"Dr. Hart is an… idiot. You see, that's why he and I didn't get along so well." The Joker said. "You on the other hand… I can't tell if you are an idiot yet… we'll just have to see." He went on, he shifted in his seat. She cleared her throat,
"The aim of these sessions will be to cure you. Mr. Joker. And with any luck, the DA's office may cut you a deal."
"Doubt it. You'll 'cure' me here… so they can stick me in Gray Ocean-"
"Black Water, whatever, it doesn't matter. They won't let me go. I've killed too many people for that." He laughed, "So as you can see, this is all pointless."
"The sessions will each run one half hour, longer if needed. And as I said before, if you need me on a day that we don't have a session scheduled, you can ask one of the guards or nurses to page me, and we can talk." She said. "So let's start today's session. What would you like to talk about?"
"I'd like to talk about you." He said, "Got a boyfriend, Puddin'?"
"Unfortunately we will be keeping my personal life out of this." She said, "We-"
"So yes then." He retorted before she could finish.
"We are supposed to be talking about you, Mr. Joker."
"So professional. It was just a question." He looked around the room. "Another thing I hate about doctors… they're never personal…. On any level… they get you in their office, pop ya a couple pills, send you on your merry way, fat-drugged-and-happy."
"Until I've diagnosed you I am actually taking you off of all your medications." She said, He started laughing,
"You know darling, they put those drugs into me for a reason."
"You are my patient now. I want to diagnose you for myself."
"…You know doc, You're really dry. You musta been a hoot in medical school."
"Actually I was a party girl. But enough about me-"
"Party girl? Wouldn't have thought that by looking at you. Tight bun in your hair, pencil skirt, stiff glasses and your little lab coat. You look the exact opposite of party girl."
"We're off to a bad start."
"Just getting you used to it." He smiled. She made a few notes on her clip board. "Whats that say?"
"It's your record."
"What are you writing on it… uh, Puddin'."
"…You got a first name, Dr. Quinny?"
"…Harleen." She said. He laughed boisterously
"That, That, I like that. Sounds like Harlequin." He said. She adjusted her glasses,
"I've never heard that one before." She said sarcastically. He smiled.
"Ahh… I guess I do like you. You and I were a match made in hell."
"Unlikely friends at best, Mr. Joker."
"Unlikely lovers if you ask me." He said, he laughed again. If he hadn't been chained down he might have fallen over. She sighed.
"I was really hoping you'd take this more seriously."
"Why? You all want to fix a man who doesn't want to be fixed." He said, his voice got deeper as he went,
"Why don't you want to be fixed."
"I like me the way I am, Dr. Quinzel. You and all your fellow Dr's hate yourselves… so you try to fix other people, you want to be fixed, so you assume everyone else wants to be. But… Madness is like a… a cushion. Nothing can hurt you anymore. All the bad things… they roll off your back like sweat. There for a moment, then gone. You don't need to care. You don't have to. You don't have to worry about things as much. Money. Peoples opinion of you. Right and Wrong. When it comes down to it you're CRAZY! And that's all people see… You don't have to have a job you don't have to have sympathy… no. I like it this way… maybe you should try it." He laughed loudly, and when he stopped he smiled at her. "Rebuttal?"
"I think that functioning within society is just as important… What is life without friends, and overcoming struggles… Its senseless to live senselessly." She said. He smiled,
"Well stick around with me, and I'll show you things from my point of view." He said. She wrote a few more notes on her clip board. "Can you let me out of this thing?" He asked, referring to the straitjacket, "Its uncomfortable."
"Do you recall why you are in the straitjacket?"
"…" He stared up at the ceiling. "I wanted to go outside."
"Yes, well, beating a guard half to death and stealing his keys isn't the acceptable way to ask."
"He was the one dumb enough to come into my cell at one in the morning…." He mumbled.
"Your medications will stop today, then I will give you a week for your system to reset, and then I will prescribe new medication." She said.
"And what if I go crazy and… take another lifein this… week of cleaning out?" He said with mock emotion on his voice. She ignored him.
"It says here that you requested Dr. Hart bring you makeup?" She said,
"…Is that what he wrote down?"
"…Session six: the Patient has requested face paint and lipstick, request was denied." She said, He laughed and stomped his foot.
"Sure lets go with that. Wahaha!" (laughing)
"May I ask why you've requested makeup?"
"Do you ever watch the news?" He asked, "Me without makeup is like… you without a shirt."
"So you still want to be my doctor?" He asked, She stood up.
"You aren't going to get rid of me. Mr Joker." She said, She picked up her clip board and put the pen back into her hair, "It will take a lot more than that. I will see you on Wednesday."
"Unless I need you tomorrow?"
"Unless you need me tomorrow."