Sorry it's been so long again, this time I really don't have an excuse but these last few chapters will be updated more often, thank you anyone whose still sticking with the story and to the anon review who coxed me to get back to it, hope you enjoy guys . (This chapter takes place a day after 'One last time' and three days before 'Lifting shadows off a dream')

'But I feel I'm getting nowhere
And I'll never see the end

So I wither and render myself helpless
I give in and everything is clear
I breakdown and let the story guide me'


Kyle sat on his bed recalling the events of that day as the sun had set behind the clouds and night was drawing in. Everything was so fucked up. 'How could this happen to me' he thought, all them times he took days off school due to his frequent sick states and all the pain he went through that was always progressively getting worse, it all made sense now.

Kyle was just finished getting dressed when he heard the phone ring from downstairs, he quickly rushed down the stairs to get the phone before it woke his parents, however half way down the ringing was cut short, when he got to the kitchen he found out why, his mom had answered and was talking very solemnly to the person on the other end. Kyle stood for a bit, wondering why his mom was up so early, his parents where both meant to be in bed today, his dad doesn't have work and his mom's job has unpredictable hours, but then it hit him 'oh yeah its Thursday she has the early PTA meeting' he thought before procuring toast from the toaster and making a cup of coffee for his mom, who was finishing up her phone call.

"Kyle sweetie…" she turned round and looked at him, nothing in her face could be read it looked emotionless, Kyle quickly began to worry about the context of the phone call and what it could have entailed to make my mom's rough n' tumble attitude to drop so fast.
"Yeah mom?" he questioned a hint of worry in his voice,
"You're not going to school today, we have to go to the hospital." She said very matter of factly
"What? What for?" the ginger started nibbling at his toast to calm his nerves
"The other week when you were in the hospital they had tests done, it was just basic and so not that serious, so they didn't check till recently when negative results had come back, they want you in to do more and make sure, they have everything right" She had said, whilst walking over and holding tightly onto the table in front of her, there was clearly something she knew that she wasn't telling her son, but Kyle wasn't going to pry just yet.

After Kyle, his mother & father had taken the long trip to Hell's Pass hospital, it was coming up to half twelve in the afternoon and all his emergency tests had been done he was told to wait around for god knows how many more hours until the results were though, him and his parents had been told that the doctors were working on it as fast as they could… well Kyle had actually been told nothing. Nothing about why they are doing these test, what could possibly be wrong, what was the negative results that came through the first time, his patients were wearing thin and he was getting quite worked up, if there was something wrong with him he had every right to know. About three four hours later a doctor had came up to them, files in hand and asked them to step into his office. They sat down, his parents on the two arm chairs and Kyle pulling up a stool from the side sitting down and reminding himself not to get to comfortable.

"I am sorry to deliver this news, and so late on, but your son… he has pancreatic cancer" The doctor spoke quietly looking down at his table the majority of the time, as Sheila gasped and held tightly to her husband,
"We…Well what can we do?" his mother practically begged, tears welling up breaking through in her voice,
"At this stage, there isn't much we can do, treatment would just not be enough. If we had of caught it earlier he could have still had a chance" by this point his mother had burst out into tears, the doctor give her a minute as he scanned his files, not once had Kyle been addressed, it ticked him off, apparently he is sick, but no one has the decency to tell him straight up, but the anger soon subsided as everything that had been said was slowly processing, just ever so slowly. It started to feel like an anchor had been tied to his foot and he'd just been tossed into water to fend for himself, 'it doesn't even seem like I can make it out alive,' he thought before he was thoughts were interrupted with confirmation from the doctor,
"By his charts, I'd say he has about 6 weeks to live" Sheila wept hard clinging onto her husband, the sounds of her cries showed just how much pain she was in hearing this news. Kyle's jaw was on the floor, 'was this it six more weeks to live out the rest of my life?' He thought, though he did try to take his own life not long back, he couldn't think of anything he wanted to do with the short time he now had, he hadn't planned that far yet, just go to university get qualified and find a job he loves, settle down with some he loves, have a few kids, 'isn't that what everyone wants? Just a normal life' he couldn't even think of anything small he wanted or things he hasn't done that he can manage to do in three weeks, maybe just go to a country he'd always wanted to go and die there peacefully,

"The tumor growth is starting its peak about now, we don't have any charts from before because he was never tested, but from other cases it's around the right size when it starts to cause major damage to the body, it'll be hard but you'll start losing weight and getting frail, sick and other symptoms of illness, Again there isn't much we can do to stop this but once the facility is ready for your son, Kyle will have to be taken into intensive care for extensive chemo, in attempts to subside the tumor and possibly extend his life span," the doctor spoke solemnly as he looked Kyle dead in the eyes. Kyle snapped out of his thoughts 'well that fucks up going to Venice.' He reached for his dad's hand squeezing tight when his dad finally stretched his hand to him, his dad repeated the gesture in order to help try comfort his son.

His parents had been given tons of medication for their son, treatment equipment 'god knows what it all does', and tons of leaflets and booklets on cancer, pancreatic cancer, treatment, losing a loved one, counselling, 7 stages of grief ect… Kyle and his parents left Hell's Pass in silence, it was quiet the whole ride back until they reached the house just after six, his father had offered to order food instead of making his mom start cooking this late, also probably to give her a little time off to have her own space for her own thoughts, no one was really in the mood to do anything, and it'll probably be like that for a while.

Ike was asked to eat up in his room while Kyle and his parents talked about 'school' little did Ike know it was more than just school.
"Do you want me to tell Ike?" Kyle asked too calmly for it to not scare him, he'd pretty much accepted it, he's told himself the same line over and over about 400 times now 'I'm going to die, this is it.' It was scaring the crap out of him yes, but he'd been forcing him not to think about what happens when you die and more about the bitter reality in front of him that he was left to live.
"Umm… I'd say it's not the best decision but he's pretty mature now I think he can understand and it's not like we have much choice the sooner he knows the better," his father said, his mother hadn't spoken since the news came out at the hospital, she hadn't even touched her food, this is what made things harder for Kyle, it was so weird to see his mother speechless, not once in her life had she ever, not had anything to say, too outgoing for her own good… well not really the word for it, more too brunt and brutal, always saying what she felt no matter what the consequences, so the fact she couldn't talk on the topic, of her son dying in a few weeks, just amplified how dire the situation really is, it hurt Kyle to see his mom in this position but there was really nothing he could do, at the minute he's just putting all his time and effort into not thinking about it, and making sure everyone else is alright.

"I still want to go to school," Kyle put forth, trying to smile to show that it really was what he wanted from this, his parents looked up quite shocked,
"Honey I don't think that's safe it's best spending every moment you have getting treatment," Sheila had to practically force each word out, her voice shaky and croaking, Kyle moved over to his mom and cupped both her hands in his running his thumbs along the backs of her hands,
"You heard what the doctors said mom, treatment isn't going to fix this, I know it hard for you but I just want to continue doing everything that makes me happy" Kyle smiled wholeheartedly, but felt something crack inside him, his smile dropping, finding it harder to look out for others knowing he isn't going to be here much longer, it's a surprise enough that he's been able to be this strong, Kyle always knew he was the smarter level-headed on from all his friends, and a lot of the people in school, he was told he's tender and caring of others always putting their feelings first, but even going through this it's hard to imagine his composer and personality can still stay completely intact.

His mom flinched slightly after thinking for a while,
"Okay Honey, you can continue school, but we're pulling you out as soon as the doctors put you in care" his mom clenched her fist as a small confirmation to her son that she's okay and things are 'okay' so Kyle let go smiling up at her. The family sat in silence for a while, before his dad just started asking him if there was something he wanted, a new TV, laptop, games console, Kyle had just laughed a little and shook his head turning down his dad's offer, he'd never say it allowed because he knows his dad is only trying his best and he wouldn't want to offend him, but Kyle thought it be silly to waste money on things he wouldn't be using much longer. There wasn't much else to talk about, or more accurately there wasn't much else they wanted to talk about, until it hit Kyle like a ton of bricks, it might not be the right time, it might not be the BEST thing to do, but there was no other time, and it was at least the honest thing to do, he was going to tell his parents about his relationship, about his sexuality, his mom is always open minded and accepting, it's where he got the traits from so he didn't know why he didn't mention it to her as soon as it got serious, but his dad was a little more difficult when it came to certain things, Kyle wasn't too sure how his father would take the information of his first-born boy being gay, but he had to tell them, his mind wouldn't be a peace until he does, he only hopes that his not going to bring more stress and struggles down onto his parents.

"Mom, Dad, there's something I have to tell you" Kyle spoke slowly, being cautious and making sure he gained his parents attention,
"What is it son?" Gerald queried,
"I should have told you a while back but, I was worried what you'd think" Kyle stopped for a moment and took a sharp, deep inhale to try get the courage to say what needed to be said "I have a boyfriend" his exhale tapering slightly as his nerves started to sky-rocket, it was approaching half eight and it had already been a very very difficult day, he still needed to tell Ike and Kenny, didn't feel this needed to be added to anything but it's over and his conscious is clearer,
"Sweetie that's wonderful" his mom beamed slightly, you could tell the smile was putting up a fight to be there on a face that wanted to be sad,
"Wait, what?" was all his dad could say, for a while at least, "so your gay?" Kyle just nodded hoping his dad would provide a more positive reaction this time. Gerald scratched his head a little before looking back at his son, "Well boy whatever makes you happy," Kyle smiled up at his dad in appreciation,
"So who's the fella? " His mum chirped voice still struggling to hold the right key,
"Kenny" Kyle replied feeling nervous once again
"KENNY!?" both his parents barked in unison, his mom, more shocked and giddy and his dad more… shocked and disbelief, one positive one negative reaction,
"I never expected such a… ladies boy… to end up dating a guy" his mom put forth, Gerald nodding heavily in full agreement, Kyle yawned breaking any new conversation as his dad offered him a hand to his feet his mom spoke lightly
"It's been a rough day how about you go to bed big man" Kyle nodded and hugged his parents good night before half crawling up the stairs to Ike's room.

Ike didn't take it so well, he was 13 and very very well-developed for his age in both mind and body, he had eventually skimmed a few grades and he got older and was fitting in very well with the Juniors in high school, you wouldn't even be able to tell he wasn't actually meant to be there by looking at him, but Kyle only needed to tell Ike the basics before he took everything in and processed it pretty quickly, he cried for 2 hours before calming down he'd told his brother a million times he was going to miss him, at which Kyle just responded with 'I'm not gone yet' and laughed slightly, Ike's crying had made the younger boy rather drowsy and was drifting to sleep peacefully after an uplifting conversation between the two brothers.

After having to deal with how Ike took it, and the fact it was nearly eleven pm, Kyle decided he would tell Kenny tomorrow but pulled out his phone to warn his partner of the information to come,
"Hello, Kitten~ I hope you got my missed calls and messages you weren't in school today, and weren't replying, I got really upset" Kenny whined down the phone eagerly as soon as he picked up,
"Hey Ken, I've something to tell you tomorrow after-school" Kyle choked a little, the line went cold
"Is everything alright?" Kenny asked dead serious and extremely worried
"Yeah, yeah" Kyle beamed trying to stay positive and not let Kenny pick up on anything or he'll be forced to talk about it tonight and that's really an option Kyle's trying to avoid,
"You sure?"
"Yup" Kyle said lightly smile beginning to appear
"Positive?!" Kenny stressed
"H.I.V" Kyle laughed before stopping slightly when his mind told him that little in joke was no longer funny all of a sudden
"So is it good news?" Kenny asked
"You'll find out when you find out, I'm sorry for not replying today I have been super busy… Kenny?" Kyle probed to make sure he had the blondes attention,
"Yeah Kitten?"

"I… I love you… lots" Kyle finished quickly words rushing out as the blood rushed to his cheeks just as fast, it was only time Kyle had said it without being made too, Kyle doesn't believe in throwing the word around needlessly unless you truly mean it and truly feel it from the bottom of your heart, not just a fourteen year old in a one week relationship saying it every other hour. Kyle heard Kenny gasp slightly, sounding disbelieving down the other end
"I love you too Kyle, with all my heart."


Sayomi: So guys you like where it's going?
Kenny, Kyle & Stan: *reading the script* No not really…
Sayomi: Aww~
Kyle: Why does… *sighs* you're just a little cruel
Kenny: Yeah I mean I'm not okay with this, I finally get something I love and you take it away from me *moves over to hug Kyle*
Sayomi: Aye! Pretty boy! back on the lap *snaps fingers and Kenny appears on my lap*
Kenny: …I hate how you can do that…
Sayomi: Perks of being the author *Grins* Stan your opinion, you've been very silent
Stan: *shrugs* I just don't like it, period. You make me out to be a dick
Sayomi: Tell me you'd be able to express your emotions any better
Stan:
Sayomi: My point exactly *smirks*
Butters: *walks in* Is this my part yet?
Sayomi: No Butters you're in another story
Butters: Oh okay… *walks away*