Author's Note:- Hey people! Been a while, huh? Well, this is something that's been lying in my documents folder for some time now, and today I finally decided to buckle down (for 4 hours straight!) and get this chapter done, because I'm really excited about this storyline. I have various pieces of paper from over the months that have scenes which I've already prepared.. ANYWAY. Here it is. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto then Gaara would be mine...

Summary: Naruto learns his lesson to not mess with magic when a love spell goes horribly wrong, causing the entire male population of Konoha High School to become sexually attracted towards him. Molestation and mature content.

•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.• -(C h a p t e r O n e)- •._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•._.•

"Hey Sakura!" Naruto called, waving his hands in the air.

The School bell had just sounded a few minutes ago and people were streaming out of their classes on their way home or into town. Naruto was amongst this crowd and was making his way over to a group of girls standing separately by the door of a classroom.
One of the girls, a girl with bright dyed-pink hair, turned to the sound of Naruto's voice. As soon as she saw him, however, she scowled and turned quickly back to her friends to say something to them, before waving to them and rushing into the throng of students.

"Sakura, wait!" Naruto shouted, pushing through the people to get to her.
There passed a couple of seconds in which the crowd swallowed them both up completely, but it lasted only until they made it out of the school doors and into the open. Everyone went off in their own direction, which relieved the claustrophobic struggle and made it possible to see ahead again.

And so, Naruto quickly spotted the pink girl as she was walking briskly away with her head down, trying to camouflage futilely into her surroundings. He ran a hand through his hair before grinning and running over towards her.


Suddenly she whirled around, almost causing Naruto to crash into her form.

"Stop following me, you fucking stalker!" She screamed, glaring at him venomously. "I swear to Kami I'll have a restraining order put on you!"

Naruto grinned, sticking his hand out in a Thumbs-up gesture.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. Like now," he beamed, as if though oblivious to the girl's previous words.

Sakura sweat-dropped.

"No I do not fucking want to hang out, you complete moron! What is wrong with you?!"

"There's this really nice Ramen place that's just opened in town, I could take you there if you like?" he prevailed, happily avoiding her question.

The girl began to twitch.

"Or we could go to my place?"

She continued to twitch, her eyebrows performing a dance.

Naruto cocked his head and watched this display, his face lighting up at the sight. "Alright! My place it is!" He shouted gleefully and slapped his hands together, obviously mistaking the girl's irritation for anticipation.

The twitching girl, sensing that her protests were pointless, turned away from the blonde and twitched in another direction. "Stay the fuck away from me, Uzumaki," she ground out before stiffly stomping off.

"Hmm? Ok… See you in class tomorrow, Sakura!"

He waited for a reply and received none.

Squinting after the now-disappearing-into-the-distance twitching girl, Naruto sniffed and rubbed his nose with his index finger.

Oh well, he'd tried. As he routinely did, for the past two years.

His logic was that if he asked Sakura enough times, she might eventually say yes.

He pulled his phone out from his pocket and dialled a number absently, not even having to look at the keypad. He waited as the phone rang.

"Sup, man?" a male voice answered.

"Hey Kiba, wanna come to mine so I can kick your ass at Call of Duty?"

"Ha, you're on!"

"See you in ten!" Naruto grinned and flipped his phone shut, his blue eyes shining.

"Fuck, man… you really need to replenish your fridge," Kiba whined. "You have like, no beer or alcohol."

They were at Naruto's house, stocking up on supplies in the kitchen before confining themselves to his bedroom, where they would surely stay for the remainder of the night, absorbed in video games. And they needed food if they were to keep their strength up. Not like sitting playing games uses much energy, apart from jabbing buttons with your fingers… but that was irrelevant. A guy would understand.

Currently, the blonde had his head poking into a kitchen cupboard, warily studying a spider dangling in the dark corner. He retrieved his head, grabbing a bag of doritos along his way and turned to see Kiba gazing forlornly at the contents of his fridge.

"I live with my grandma," he pointed out.

"So?" Kiba pouted. "My gran drinks."

"Your gran has issues." Naruto set the food down on the counter and began closing some of the cupboard doors that they'd left open.

Kiba snorted, "You have issues."

Reluctantly he closed the fridge and gathered up the stash that he'd managed to muster, consisting of four energy drinks; a pack of chorizo sausages; a stick of Salami; a jar of pickle; a jar of mayo; a loaf of bread; and a hunk of cheese.

The last of the cupboard doors closed with a thud and the blonde turned to grab his share of supplies (crisps and dips) before smirking at the other boy. "Let's go, Dog-face."

1 hour and 26 minutes later…

Kyuubi: 51
Dog-face: 39

"Blasphemy is a terrible sin," Naruto chided, wagging his finger at the other boy.

It did nothing to hinder the string of obscenities leaving Kiba's mouth as he threw down the Xbox controller.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed, whisking up the object. "Careful with my baby." He cradled it in his arms and glared at Kiba.

"(censored censored you censored just censored censored)!"

"You are a poor excuse for a man," the blonde stated.

"I want a rematch!" Kiba hollered, finally abandoning his blasphemous rant. He sat facing Naruto with his fist raised, wild eyed and breathing heavily.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Yeaaaah. That's not happening."


"Because you're making me fear for my life," Naruto said simply, looking at Kiba with squinted eyes.

Said boy deflated and plopped back onto the couch. "Good. Be afraid. I'll gut you in your sleep, Uzumaki."

"No one likes a sore loser, kiba," the blonde chirped in reply.

Kiba scowled and was just opening his mouth to retort when the doorbell rang, cutting off whatever he may have had to say.

Naruto then jumped up with a fist pump and shouted, "Wonder who that could be!" before bolting out of the room and thundering down the stairs.

The brunette boy grumbled and slowly stood up before following his friend.

Naruto came to a skidding stop just as the doorbell rang for a second time. Grinning, he yanked the door wide open, not even checking through the peephole to see who it was, and standing there was the remainder of his friendship group: Shikamaru; Chouji; Shino; and Lee.

"Hey guys!" he shouted gleefully, "come on in!"

The boys casually walked into their friend's house, each pausing to high five a muttering Kiba in greeting. Once inside, Naruto pushed the door shut and stood grinning at his friends.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked.

Lee stepped forward with a thumbs up, "We are here to challenge you to a COD rematch!" his smile was dazzling.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru yawned.

At that moment, Shino and Chouji decided to make their way to Naruto's kitchen in search of manly snacks and beverages.

"Sorry, Lee," Kiba said, patting the green-clad boy on the shoulder, "I don't think you'll have much luck there." And with that he followed the two boys into the kitchen to aid with their quest to find a drop of alcohol.

"Naruto," Lee began, still smiling blindingly, "We must always strive to better ourselves while the power of youth is still on our side! We must always practice to be better and stronger than we were yesterday! It is for that reason that I believe I can beat you at a rematch!" He now stood facing Naruto with his hands on his hips.

Said blonde boy scratched his head thoughtfully and contemplated his friend's proposition. "Hmmm," he murmured, "I guess you did put it nicer than Kiba did… And your reasoning does make a lot of sense…"

Lee continued to strike his macho pose and dazzle.

"Ok! Let's rematch!" Naruto shouted, grinning.

"Yosh! I promise if I do not win then I shall do 100 sit ups!"

Shikamaru sweat dropped. "Lee, I really don't think that's necessa-"

"You are absolutely right, Shikamaru, that is not nearly good enough," Lee's face became serious and he held his fist in front of him with his eyes blazing. "If I do not win then I shall do 300 situps!"

Shikamaru massaged the bridge of his nose and shook his head, muttering things about troublesome idiots.

"DUDE!" Kiba came bounding into the hallway, followed by a stoic Shino. "You seriously have no fucking alcohol. This is an outrage!"

Just then Chouji also emerged, appearing somewhat triumphant. His arms were laden with edible items that Naruto didn't even know he owned.

"It's cool, man," he said, addressing Kiba. "I got snacks."

"Chouji," Naruto whined, "grandma Tsunade is gonna kill me if we have no food left tonight – she only got groceries yesterday!"

"Whatever, man," Chouji replied, uninterested and now munching on a jumbo bag of beef jerky.

"Dude," Kiba prevailed, "You've gotta have some alcohol somewhere, like an emergency stash or something."

"Kiba is right," Shikamaru said lazily. "87% of homes have a secret stash of alcohol hidden somewhere on the premises." He glanced wearily at Lee, who was now doing star jumps in 'preparation' for the rematch. "And I really need a drink too."

"Ok, so it's decided then," Kiba said, nodding. "We'll search for the secret stash."

"Whaaat!?" Naruto cried in dismay, "What do you people take my grandma for? She doesn't even drink caffeine!"

Kiba smirked, "We'll see about that, Uzumaki. Let's split up, guys!"

And with that, Kiba bounded up the stairs with Shino and Shikamaru trudging after him, with sounds of "Fuck yeah!" and "troublesome" ensuing.

Lee sprang up from the ground where he was doing crunches and grabbed Naruto's arm. "Let's go rematch!"

Naruto immediately forgot his irritation as they both cried out "YOSH!" in unison and promptly followed the others upstairs so they could begin their friendly battle, leaving Chouji to happily munch on his snacks/feast as he also followed up the stairs.

Kyuubi: 40
Rock Lee: 40

"Naruto, you really are a worthy opponent!" Lee exclaimed, saluting the blonde. "Next time I will do even better and I will beat you!"

Naruto just squinted at his friend.


"Hey, Naruto! We found something!" Kiba's voice hollered from somewhere in the house.

Naruto jumped up and ran in the direction of Kiba's voice. He came to a stop outside his grandma's bedroom, where everyone else was gathered by a ladder propped against the wall. He looked up to see Kiba halfway up the ladder with his head through the attic door in the roof, attempting to hoist himself up.

"Wow, I didn't even know that was there," Naruto blinked.

"That's because you're a dimwit," Kiba yelled down from inside the attic.

"Hey, shut up!" Naruto growled and proceeded to clamber up the ladder himself so he could beat the shit out of his friend.

He hoisted himself into the dark cavern just as Kiba had done and scuffled around in search of a light switch.

"You ok in there?" Shikamaru drawled.

"Yeah, fine!" Naruto replied, fingers fumbling with a wire.


Suddenly the attic was filled with yellow dusty light and Naruto could see his shaggy haired friend at the other end of the room, standing by a light switch. Kiba's eyes were round and his mouth was wide agape as he stared at the wall to Naruto's left.

"Shit…" Kiba breathed.

Naruto turned and looked.

There, lined all along the left wall of the attic, was an immeasurable supply of alcohol, stored in cabinets and wine racks.

"I fucking knew it!" Kiba screamed in joy.

The rest of the gang then made their way up into the attic, Chouji reluctantly ditching his supplies in favour of a crisp packet and one free hand.

Kiba went over to inspect his heaven, running his hands along the obviously recently-used bottles of whiskey and gin. He travelled along to the end of the counters and reached across to a couple of small black boxes that stood by a kettle and some mugs.

"Looks like your granny even has herself some sneaky coffee up here, Naru-to," Kiba said teasingly.

"I – I don't – Um – what," Naruto stuttered, still in shock from discovering his Grandma's secret.

Suddenly, Naruto collapsed to the floor, landing with a smack on his arse.

"My whole life has been a lie!" he wailed, hands covering his face.

As Naruto sat quivering on the floor, the rest of the gang began exploring the room while Kiba poured out some drinks. There was a resounding "cheers" and multiple clinks as Naruto's friends toasted to their newfound discovery.

Conversation filled the attic and the blonde continued to rock on the wooden floor, muttering about lies.

"Hey, man," Kiba came up to the blonde form, holding a can of beer. "Don't beat yourself up about it. She was probably just trying to set a good example."

"Fat lot of good that's done," Naruto muttered.

Kiba leaned forwards with the intention of comforting his friend, but stopped as his eyes caught something glinting behind Naruto on a shelf. He stepped around the blonde and bent to examine the object. Realisation dawned on him and he stepped back, nearly tripping over Naruto who was still huddled on the floor.

"No way," he whispered.

"What?" Naruto asked, frowning.

"No fucking way.." Kiba bit his lip, still retreating.

"Kiba, you're freaking me out," Naruto said, standing up and dusting himself down. "What is it?"

Kiba's behaviour had caught the attention of the rest of the group and they made their way over to him, all holding alcohol.

"Kiba, my friend, what is the matter?!" Lee yelled, concern on his face.

Kiba slowly raised his finger to point at the shelf behind Naruto. "Its… it's a book of witchcraft."

"Eh?" Naruto furrowed his brow and turned to look at the shelf.

Indeed, there lay a book, titled 'A Wiccan's book of spells and potions'.

Naruto's mouth dropped open in comical shock.


"Naruto, your grandma's weird," Chouji said uncertainly, taking a sip of beer.

"Hey! Respect her when you're drinking her alcohol!"

Chouji shrugged.

"Yosh!" Lee yelled, punching the air. "Another discovery! I bet that book has a love spell in it!" He smiled his trademark dazzling smile.

Kiba shook himself to rid his initial shock. "Yeah, you're right, Lee. It probably does," he said, holding his thumb and forefinger against his chin in a thoughtful manner.

"We should cast a spell to improve our chances with the ladies!" Lee struck another pose, fire burning in his eyes.

Kiba's face lit up with excitement. "Fuck yeah, let's do this!" he hollered.

There were resounding cheers of agreement.

Naruto laughed nervously and glanced toward the open attic door. "I'm not so sure, guys…" he muttered, "I don't think grandma Tsunade meant for anyone to find this shit.. it could be dangerous."

He thought of his grandmother's unlined but stern face and winced. She would certainly kill him if she found out what they were doing.

"Come on, man," Kiba grinned. "Live a little!"

With that said, Kiba rushed towards the shelf and made to reach for the book, but Naruto promptly snatched it away from his grasp and cradled it against his chest with a scowl. There was no way he was going to let Kiba get his paws all over it.

"Fine!" He ground out, "but if we're doing this – which I still don't think we should – then I'm going to be the one to read from the book and to touch it, seeing as it's on MY property."

Kiba whooped, along with Lee and Chouji, while Shino stayed expressionless behind his dark sunglasses and Shikamaru shook his head in vague annoyance.

The next few minutes consisted of Naruto flipping through the pages of the book while everyone else set down their cans of beer and other drinks, Naruto barking out instructions for candles, and for everyone to sit down in a circle with him in the middle.

After all the candles were lit and Kiba had flipped off the light switch, everyone sat down in a circle as instructed, with Naruto in the middle. Their faces were all bathed in an eerie light which danced and flickered, causing shadows to play across their features.

They were ready.

Slowly, so as to get the pronunciation right, Naruto began reading out the scripture on a page titled as 'Love Spell'. The words were in a foreign language, some ancient tongue which had long since been forgotten. They snaked through the air and a chill seeped into the room, causing the hair to stand up on Naruto's neck. But he continued.

"Maitasuna aurkitu ahal izango duzu eta eutsi bahitu.
Dezakezu-katea da, eta zure bihotza aprobetxa dezagun.
Zure benetako maitasuna konturatzen zara."

A breeze picked up the silky strands of Naruto's blonde hair and twirled them across his face, caressing his cheeks.

"It says you have to hold an image of your crush in your mind and then blow out the candle in front of you," Naruto stated, leaning down to pick up his own candle.

The guys complied, each picking up their candles and closing their eyes.

Naruto thought of Sakura, with her bright pink hair and shining green eyes. He thought of how her sweet voice said his name whenever she rejected him. Rejected him.. Because she loved another. She loved Sasuke. Naruto frowned. This spell would change that.

Tomorrow I will ask her again.

Sakura would be his. Not Sasuke's.

In unison they all blew out their candles and the room became awash with darkness once again.

AN: So yeah, this is the beginning of all chaos that ensues. Prepare yourselves for some serious yaoi moments, molestation, and you can say goodbye to NaruSaku.


Review! If you want yaoi sooner...

*If you want to translate the 'ancient language', it is in Basque.