Dean shook his head. "Wait—we're WHAT?"
"You pledged your troth in a church. Before God."
"I—what's a troth?"
Crowley sighed. "Don't you ever read? You pledged your faith and loyalty to Sam. Said there was nothing, past or present, you'd put in front of him." He stepped closer to Dean. "Troth? Pledged." He grinned. "Right after Sam did the same thing. Said he'd rather die than let you down again. If that's not a pledge of true love and loyalty, I don't know what is."
Sam stammered, but no words came out.
"And Dean. You tethered his left hand."
"That was a bandanna, not a ring!" Sam held up his hand.
"And lest you forget, I was a witness. It's all official and legal-like, at least in the eyes of the Lord."
Sam and Dean stare at each other. "We're…married?"
"That's right, boys." Crowley adjusted his tie. "Mazel tov."