I felt like writing a Paric one-shot last night so started typing.
This is what I came up with.
I hope you like it.
Song used: - Nuvole Bianche by Ludovico Einaudi
Pairing: Pamela Swynford de Beaufort & Eric Northman
~Home is Where I Belong~
I felt like an intruder as I stood in the doorway of Fangtasia's entrance, the hard red lights illuminating my face for everybody to see but of course nobody gave me a second glance. Why would they? They did not know me.
I to them was just another nameless face, another stranger looking for company in the wrong place at the wrong time. And as I gazed across the bar I couldn't help but feel the cold sense in the pit of my stomach that he was watching, that he had noticed me after all these years of separation.
Gripping onto the door with hesitation, I brought my sights to the shadowed face of the vampire who had banished me from his side almost two decades before this moment. I felt a breath hitch in my throat as he sat forward in the same very throne he had sat in when he decided to end our relationship, and although I couldn't see his eyes I knew he was staring right at me.
For a brief moment I wondered if Sookie Stackhouse were still alive, I wondered if he had truly turned her into the vampire he wanted – the vampire I couldn't be. Feeling the sting of tears I blinked and felt the breath I had been holding fall from my lips with shaky regret, letting go of the door I realised that coming here had been a mistake. Taking a step back, I gazed at my feet before turning on my heel and quickly exiting the bar without another moment to spare.
Returning into the harsh winter night I looked up at the starry sky and asked myself why I had come back? What had I been expecting? I didn't have the answers to my own puzzles and was baffled by my own reckless actions; he had given me an ultimatum all those years ago.
Stay in his sights and be given the true death or leave and never return, I remembered the confusion and the chuckle that escaped my lips when I believed he had been joking. We had been together for a century, so many years spent together sharing so many experiences. We had so much love for each other that the possibility of him killing me seemed funny, I had expected him to laugh with me and dismiss my actions against Sookie.
But when no smile or laugh was returned, when he roared into my face with his fangs fully bared to me I realised that he was deadly serious. I had never felt fear like it, his eyes had been so cold and murderous that I turned and ran without packing. I fled and ever since that night I had been in mourning, I had lost my maker, my lover, my friend, my father, my brother – I had lost myself.
And I asked why he could be so cruel, I had shot a gun at Sookie to save him, every action that my being delivered was for him and after so many years of trying to hate and forget about him I realised that I just couldn't. Eric had been my saviour, and even as he chose a human girl with such a ridiculous name over me I still loved him, even when he wanted to end my life I still couldn't bring myself to hate him.
So perhaps this was the reason I returned after twenty years of travelling the world alone, I needed to feel like he still loved me too. But stepping inside that bar proved too much to handle, the images of his wild and merciless eyes flashed through my mind forcing me to abandon my heart. I was a vampire, just as he had created me to be... I needed to worry about surviving, nothing more, nothing less... the love we once shared was gone.
I moved quickly and quietly through the small crowds of humans that had gathered for a music event within the beloved bar I once had the pleasure of calling my home. They were buzzing with excitement, their blood filled with the stench of drugs and alcohol as they spoke to each other in an animated tone which made me glad that I was leaving.
This was the one thing I didn't miss about Shreveport, the irritating swarms of adolescents who wanted nothing more than to rebel and conquer the world with their bold attitudes and pointless drama. Shifting through the clouds of cigarette smoke I headed towards the forests, the whispering of the word vampire following me causing me to roll my eyes. They really were a slow generation. Tonight I would rest in the local cemetery, and by tomorrow night I would head for New York to figure out what I wanted to do with this wasted life.
Sighing heavily I folded my arms and felt the air change on my skin telling me it would rain soon, and having my limited addition black trench coat from Ford ruined by a brewing storm was a problem I didn't want to deal with. I needed to hide inside one of the stone tombs tonight; it would make for an ideal resting place where both my clothes and hair would be unaffected. I frowned in concentration as I trudged through mud, rotten leaves and whatever else lay on the forest floor, trying my hardest to keep my leather boots clean. The squelching noises didn't give me confidence; I knew that I would feel the familiar sliminess of the mud seep into my socks soon.
I muttered under my breath and thought back to my early days as a new vampire when Eric had taken me to Scandinavia where he proceeded to show me the ways in which he had lived as a human. It was then that I realised my deep hatred for the outdoors, when he had deliberately tripped me over so that I would fall face first into a thick muddy puddle.
I felt a small smile tug at the corner of my lip as I remembered his laughter, the joy he got from watching me slip and slide so he could undress me and throw us both into the hidden lake he adored. He told me so many stories about his family and Godric and how he wished his maker was there to meet me, that he would be surprised that he had turned a girl as his first progeny.
I remember him telling me how much he enjoyed being a maker and that I had opened his eyes to a beautiful world in which he previously thought would hold nothing but regret and irritation. Those nights had been some of the best of my life, I would gladly fall face first into a thousand more puddles to relive them.
Looking up at the full moon I clenched my teeth as the first strike of lightning soared through the black and grey clouds followed by the roll of thunder. I pulled my curls back into a ponytail and darted across a few boulders before reaching the end of the forest, the cemetery was built right next to the trees which I was grateful for as the first drop of rainfall hit the tip of my nose. Hurrying through the graves I ran to the large stone tomb which I had become familiar with many years ago and shoved the door aside, it was much too heavy for a single human to shift but for me it gave way with ease.
Turning to look up at the sky I smiled as the rain fell fast and hard, pulling the door closed I headed down the marble steps and into the reasonably sized chamber which held several crypts of wealthy humans, all who had died centuries ago. It was a perfect location to die for the morning but also a perfect place to be lost in my thoughts, and right now I didn't want to think because the only thought which lingered there was Eric.
And right now I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to cry. Taking in a shaky breath I began to pace and felt the tears rise in my eyes, this was not the time to be weak. I had slowly built my defensive wall over the years and just as I had completed bricking myself in the cracks had begun to show and I felt it crumbling around me as his face filled my head. Lifting my hand to my chest I closed my eyes and tried to count to one hundred, it was the only thing that worked for me when the pain began to surface again but as soon as I reached ten I heard his voice in my thoughts.
Shaking my head I whispered the numbers out loud and clasped my palms over my ears
"Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five" I continued as his face faded from my mind
"Shut up" I hissed, desperate to rid his voice from my head "Twenty six, twenty seven-" I halted and my body froze as I felt a hand clasp over my shoulder.
Opening my mouth in horror I lifted my eyes to the crypts in front of me, tears spilling from my eyes and down my cheeks as I felt his presence behind me. Clasping a palm over my mouth I blinked the red blurriness from my sight as the soft stroking of calloused fingers travelled from my shoulder to my hair, gently pulling the band free and allowing my curls to fall down my back. I remained still and in shock as his touch moved to the curve of my neck. I winced with a sob and his touch withdrew immediately, I felt myself being spun around and gulped back my cries as I was met with his face for the first time since he had cast me away.
"Please don't hurt me" I whispered
I expected to see anger, frustration... hate, but instead I was met with sadness and regret. His deep blue eyes searching my face as his palms gripped onto my upper arms gently, holding me in place as if I were trying to break free from him which I was not. I wouldn't dare to, he could kill me with a flick of a finger and I wasn't ready to die just yet.
"I was planning on leaving tomorrow night because the sun will rise soon" I blurted out, unsure of what to say to him as he remained silent just looking at me, soaking from the rainfall. "But if you want me to leave now, I understand – I don't want to anger you anymore than I already ha-"
He fisted my hair and leaned down to capture my lips in a desperate and unexpected move that forced a gasp from my lungs, giving his tongue access to my mouth as his hands grabbed me to him in a needy embrace.
I didn't know what was happening and I didn't care, sliding my arms around his thick neck I returned the kiss and allowed my tongue to dance with his in a battle for dominance. As a vampire, I had no need for oxygen to survive but felt my lungs heaving for more air as we stood kissing for what seemed like years, it was intense and everything I needed in that second. My tears continued to fall and as I felt them drip down the curve of my jaw, he pulled back with a frown to cup my face with his hands. His thumbs stroking them away as he gazed into my eyes, his own were rimmed with red making my stomach clench with despair.
"I thought you were dead" he frowned "I couldn't feel you after that night, why couldn't I feel you?" he whispered in devastation, his forehead resting against mine and his hand slid down to my neck where he stroked my skin. His index finger pressing down on the area where my pulse used to beat, his shoulders fell as he silently begged me for an answer.
"I thought you were going to kill me, Eric" I reminded him, a lump growing in my throat as I blinked up to him with a frown "So I buried our bond into the back of my mind, I knew that if I cut you off you wouldn't be able to come after me."
He stepped away from me with an unreadable expression, running his fingers through his short blonde hair he turned his back on me and remained silent for a few moments.
"I've regretted my actions on that night every single second you have been gone from my side, I can't count the many mornings where I stayed up thinking about my mistakes – afraid to fall into death for fear that I would have nightmares about you dying." He turned to look at me again with sincere sadness "I've been lost without you, and when you walked into Fangtasia tonight I swore I was delusional but I needed to know that you'd really come back to me. And here you are, so I guess this is the time for me to apologise."
I felt a knot clench in the pit of my stomach as he moved towards me, dressed in the typical black denim jeans and black vest, my favourite look.
Extending his arms he pulled me into a firm embrace, his hands sliding across my back with care to feel me – as if he were making sure I was really there and not a figment of his imagination. My shoulders fell and I took in a deep breath, the familiar scent of his skin calming my nerves as I slid my arms around his neck and held him to me.
"I'm so sorry" he whispered into my hair before falling to his knees, his hands taking mine within his as he looked up into my eyes for forgiveness.
I didn't like seeing him on the ground, it didn't feel right to see him begging for acceptance so I fell with him. Stroking his face I sighed
"What happened to Sookie?"
"She was turned by a vampire named Warlow, they disappeared a decade ago and I haven't heard of them since" he explained, his fingers tickling my collarbone as he gazed at my lips before raking them to my eyes.
"Do you miss her?" I asked tensely
He smirked with a shake of his head
"I let her go, she couldn't make her mind up on which vampire suited her needs the most" he said softly, his tone becoming quieter with each second that passed by. "She was furious that I didn't want her, even tried to stake me... but eventually she got over it."
I growled as the image of the tiny blonde bitch trying to kill my maker flashed through my mind, If I had been there I would have torn her heart out and eaten it in front of her. Pushing his fingers beneath my chin he gazed at me with a small smile
"You never once debated on whether I was the right one for you, never even glanced at another vampire as you walked with me through the years. It took me a long time to realise that the love of my life was right under my nose the whole time, I was just too stupid and arrogant to realise it. But my eyes have opened now... I see you, I just hope that you still see me."
I took in a deep breath and leaned in to kiss his lips, pressing my nose against his I looked at him with love "I see you."
He growled, his fangs sliding into place as his fingers entwined in my hair.
"You agree to be mine again?" he hissed, his soft lips caressing my neck
"There has never been a moment where I haven't been yours, Eric" I whispered, grabbing onto his shoulders with desperation as he sunk his fangs into me with ease.
I moaned as he began to drink from me, our bond strengthening with each gulp he took and it was then that I realised we had become what I had always dreamt us to be.
An epic fucking love story.