I'll be right with you
Artificial monsters and potential threats at bay, the vampire had little to do outside of the manor. Sir Integra had given him every possible task but this one, working him to point where there was only one thing left that he could do. She loathed the thought of it, but her bored servant would likely go off on his own if he wasn't doing something.
"You're to answer the phone, and nothing else. By doing this, you're representing the Hellsing Organization," his master had said to him, obvious pain in her voice. Nothing good ever came from him so much as saying the Hellsing name. "That means don't act like yourself, and that's an order."
Of course, the vampire said nothing, only giving the poor woman a wicked grin. She knew this meant she had made a mistake, but could do nothing now. Integra had more important things to do than to watch her servant answer the manor's calls. She left reluctantly.
Taking the phone down to his chambers where he could "work" in peace, the vampire's grin widened. A truly easy task, and one that he could enjoy. He awaited the first ring, pressing the speaker button rather than lifting the receiver. The count would do this with every unfortunate caller.
"Hellsing Organization, just bitches, no money. What do you want?"
There was a lengthy pause at the other end, and then the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"I need to speak with Miss Hellsing, if that's at all possible." He recognized the voice of Enrico Maxwell.
"And I need to quit my day job. It'll just be a moment." With that, the vampire disconnected the call.
He immediately got a call back, which he put on hold, leaning back in his chair. Several aggravated calls were made to the Hellsing manor, including some from residents at the manor who happened to be away. Hours passed before he got his final call, an angry one from Sir Integra.
"Hellsing Organization, now accepting blood donations, how can I-"
"ALUCARD GET IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!"