I Write The Songs. CONTEST ENTRY
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything, I just play with CH's characters
Big thanks go to my two awesome ladies - InvertedMeridian and BelleViolette for going over this for me and for giving me the best ideas ever! I love you both
Eyes on Fire
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
(Blue Foundation – Eyes on Fire)
The room was pitch black and empty. Cold. She felt cold and she couldn't shrug the feeling that something was wrong.
While this was not her home, she somehow felt at ease there.
Suddenly a welcoming light brightened up ahead and she hurried to that sole spot in the room, afraid of what the darkness was hiding. As she came closershe noticed a large mirror. She couldn't see where it began, nor could she see where it all ended.
She looked into the mirror and saw herself there. Her skin looked paler, due to the darkness around her, Sookie reasoned.
Her hair was the same length she'd kept it for the past few years, her waves pulled back into a ponytail.
She tried to remember how she got there, but only one image kept popping into her head – Eric.
Her husband, her lover, her bonded, her everything. They'd been together so long that she could barely remember a time before that.
And however much she tried to think of him just then, she could not remember what she'd been doing or how she had ended up in this place.
She inspected her surroundings once more only to find that nothing had changed. The same darkness enveloped the room like a thick blanket and there was no way to tell where it all ended. She was afraid of going away from the light, her feet refusing to go into the coldness beyond.
Sookie looked back at the mirror and let out a startled gasp.
Her reflection was staring back at her with a smirk on her face. But...Sookie wasn't smirking.
She thought she must have been imagining it all so she raised a hand and waved slightly. Her reflection remained motionless, merely raising an eyebrow at her.
"What… what's happening?" she stammered slightly.
"Oh, relax, already!" the other Sookie said.
"Where am I?" she tried, hoping to finally get some answers.
"Don't you wonder who I am?" the reflection asked instead.
"Well, I'm you, that's obvious. But I'm the part of you that's waiting to take over. And I will take over," the image said in a menacing voice.
"What do you mean, take over?"
"You're being such a whiny bitch that I can't stand it anymore. You need to be stronger, you need to stop letting others get the best of you and you need to trust yourself more."
Sookie had nothing to say, still too stunned at the sight in front of her. She hoped she would wake up soon from what seemed to be the weirdest dream she had ever had.
"You're not dreaming. This is happening and you need to wrap your head around it," the reflection said.
"Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because you've been letting others step all over you and treat you like shit when you have all the power in the world to do whatever the hell you want. I'm sick of it and you should be, too."
"What are you talking about?! I never let anyone do that to me," Sookie answered, anger in her voice.
"Right, unless you talk about Bill. And Quinn. And yet the only man who actually believed in you and wanted to protect you, you treated like shit for so long. I'm surprised he's even still with you," the reflection said.
Sookie was about to get pissed off over what the reflection said when she realized that there was some truth behind her words. She had been letting others get away with hurting her and she had taken it all out on Eric. Poor Eric. Sure, he had his faults and he could be high-handed sometimes, but she had learnt along the way that it was often for her own sake.
"Yes, your double standards are of epic proportions, my dear. You forgave everyone for the biggest lies and betrayals, and yet you could only nitpick everything Eric has ever done."
Sookie kept her silence, her anger boiling slightly. It was true that they had a rough start but they had lasted over the years, despite all the bumps in the road. She knew she loved him and had accepted that a long time ago, including the fact that she will never be married to him in the eyes of other humans.
It didn't matter, though. She had him and that's all that she wanted.
"Why would you want to marry him in the human way?! You're not human, Sookie!" the reflection said, having read her mind.
"I am, too!"
"No, you're not," the other Sookie said, her expression softening up a little. "You're part of the supernatural world and you know it. It's not just because you're married by the knife to a Vampire, it's because of your telepathy and genealogy. You're part fae, Sookie, and those traits are always more visible than any others."
"Like when you want to stake a claim on your man, like when you run into battle head-on, like when you want to take revenge of those who have done you wrong. Compassion has only kept you back," the reflection said.
"But that's what makes me human," Sookie countered.
"No, that's what makes you weak. The ability to feel sorry for others is one thing, but letting them take advantage of you is quite another."
"So you want me to what?! Stop being human?"
"But why? Why would you want that?"
"Because you need to survive this and being human is not in the job description."
"What do you mean, survive? Where am I?" Sookie asked, her heartbeat rising slightly.
"In your head, Sookie. And when you get out, you need to be strong," the reflection said.
"Strong for what?"
"To face life. You need to be a perfect match for your husband if you want to keep him around. While he loves that you're strong headed, you need to be just as strong in your faith in him and stop questioning his actions. You need to stop feeling compassion for those that need to be taken out," the other Sookie said.
Funny how her mind immediately went to Bill and how she'd stopped Eric from going after him time and time again, especially when she woke up screaming after dreaming about that morning in the trunk of that goddamn car.
She was raped, she knew that, but she refused to let it sink in. It wasn't his fault, she kept telling herself, and that's the only thing that has kept Bill alive.
"But it was his fault. You smelled of Eric and he wanted to show you, in the most painful way possible, who you belong to," the reflection said.
"I… You're right. My judgment hasn't exactly been clear when it comes to these types of things, but I always felt like I had done the right thing."
"Am I talking by myself here? Have I not been speaking clearly?!" the other Sookie said, suddenly angry for not really getting her point across.
"Look, I get it, but I don't want to leave all that behind. I know that I have to stop protecting those that have hurt me and to stand by Eric and all that, but I will not become a fucking villain. I will not become my own worst nightmare. Eric is also capable of compassion when needed so why should I need to become this robot that has no feelings?"
"You're right. But the key words, my dear, are "when needed."
Sookie sighed and turned her back on the mirror. She knew all arguments were valid and that compassion was just one of the things she would need to change. She barely had any recollection of how she got into the situation she was in now, but she knew she had to prepare herself for… something.
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and startled. She turned quickly and saw her other self stepping out of the glass.
It wasn't until then that she noticed the difference in clothing. While she was wearing her usual pastel sundress, the woman that had been in the mirror was dressed in black and red.
As she glanced at their arms, she also noticed that the other Sookie was paler, although she didn't look sick. She looked content and happy and… right.
"What's happening?" the telepath asked.
"You're finally ready to take me in."
"You're finally ready to rise up to the occasion, Sookie, and complete your change."
"What are you talking about?" she asked in frustration.
"Don't you remember?" came the answer, as a soft hand trailed to her cheek.
And suddenly she did. She remembered it. Her life flashed before her eyes. Gran, Bill, Alcide, Eric. Oh, Eric. She finally knew how she ended up in this cold, dark room. It was her grave.
She had chosen Eric and he had chosen her. For eternity. Their love for one another was never stronger and they had both decided to follow through with her change.
Sookie had thought about it frequently, especially over the past few years, as she started to grow old. Well, older. She had hoped her fairy genes would halt her aging, but they concluded that Eric's blood had probably done most of the work instead.
So that night, or maybe a few evenings before, since it was all a bit hazy still, she had made love to her husband for one last time and asked him to turn her.
It was bittersweet for Eric, she realized, who had grown to love her warmth, her sunny scent, her tanned skin and speedy heartbeat almost as much as he loved her.
In that last kiss he gave her before he sank his fangs into her flesh, he said goodbye to every part of her that would be gone once the change was done.
And now, Sookie realized, he'd known she would also lose some of her humanity. It wasn't exactly that she needed to lose her compassion in particular, as her reflection had said, but it was more of how she needed to accept everything that came with being a vampire.
In order to survive, Sookie needed to be stronger so as not make Eric look weak if she wanted him to protect them both.
And she knew in that second, as she stared back at the other, tougher, Sookie, that she'd need to find a balance between the now clashing natures inside of her. She needed to be able to face her foes and smile in their faces before ripping off their heads.
She needed to emerge from the change with grace, something that many lives depended on. Eric, Pam and Jason were just a few of those she needed to protect both directly and through her general demeanor.
Eric would never ask her to call him Master and would never treat her like anything other than his perfect match, but other prying eyes didn't need to be privy to their relationship.
Sookie knew right then that she had to play whatever roles that were needed at various times.
She smiled back at her reflection and embraced the woman in front of her, instinctively knowing it was something that she needed to do.
Her other self smiled and Sookie could see her fangs peeking out from beneath her lip. She looked fierce and ready to take on the world, and Sookie was glad to see the new being that she had become. She was glad to see that the best parts of her old self were able to fit so smoothly into her new self.
Their bodies molded together until they became one in a blinding light that flooded all the dark corners of the room, sending a sense of peacefulness over them both. This was right.
Her eyes flew open to meet Eric's worried blue gaze.
"You made it, Lover," he said, his voice full of relief and pride as he pulled her body to his, unutterably relieved that his wife had successfully crossed over.