DISCLAIMER: I don't own Total Drama or it's characters.
AN: I'm on a roll with these chapters! If I'm lucky, it'll be finished by Tuesday! Then I'll have time to update other stories, woo-hoo! Anyways, hope you enjoy!
Noah watched, jaws agape, as Cody flung himself down from the platform. He was ready and prepared to hear a loud thud, followed by the sound of cracking bones, but to his surprise, Cody simply hit the ground with soft feet and sank into the story... literally, Noah could see him actually go through some sort of warp-hole that must've transported him to the scene.
"Hm, I guess it is safe," Noah muttered to himself before jumping down himself.
In the blink of an eye, he found his feet sinking into the ground until his entire body was. Soon, Noah was standing next to Cody on a patch of grass with a camera crew, microphones, and lights surrounding Duncan and Courtney, who were talking on a picnic bench.
Noah gave a gasp, uttered something about how beautiful unicorns are, gave another gasp, and groaned.
Cody elbowed Noah gently in the ribs and pointed to the delinquent and the CIT, who were keeping a steady conversation.
"Courtney, my honey munchkins, I love and pray that you will always be with me," Duncan said, holding her hand tenderly.
"Me too," Courtney replied shyly, her expression giddy and excited.
"Now, kiss me!"
Courtney went in for the kiss, but stopped right before her lips met Duncan's. "CDion247, how was the kiss supposed to be, again? I forgot."
Noah and Cody turned their heads over to a hyperactive-looking sixth-grader with Buddy Holly glasses, jet-black hair in pigtails, railroad-track braces and a black t-shirt with the words DUNCNEY 4EVARRR! across the front. She was holding a script in one hand and a pencil in the other.
"The two lovebirds shared a long, passionate kiss, with Duncan savoring every moment of it," she read off the script.
The mentioned lovebirds did what they were told for a good thirty seconds.
"Baby, you're my forever girl!" Duncan exclaimed.
"And you're my eternal boy!" Courtney replied.
Noah shook his head. "This is just bad. And who says 'forever girl'? Isn't this the twenty-first century?"
"That writer just ripped off a The Last Airbender quote!" seethed Cody. "The nerve of some people!"
The cameraman standing nearby ended the scene and turned to the two other contestants next to him. "Cody? Noah? You're not in this scene!"
"Thanks for the notice, Sherlock," Noah quipped before emitting another gasp. "We realize that, we're just wondering what's going on... with your hair! Like, seriously, that is, like, completely wrong! Just look at those split ends!" Noah sighed and prepared for the gasp to end his OOC. "Okay, seriously, what's going on?"
"Well, right now, you're completely breaking the fourth wall, which is even elaborated by the fact that you're both just pawns in Tallstar-182's story-"
Cody shook his head, covering his ears and saying "LA LA LA LA LA" over and over again very loudly.
The cameraman, whose name was, upon closer inspection of his uniform, Wang Fire, cocked an eyebrow. "What's his problem?"
Noah shrugged. "He's not a big fan of the fourth wall, whether you be breaking it or trying your best not to. Also, can we get some clarification on how this whole Fanfiction-scene thing works?"
"It's pretty simple. Before the stories can be uploaded, they have to be acted out by robotic, life-like clones of the characters we've made. The creator of the story-who is, in this instance, CDion247-is responsible for feeding the lines and actions to the characters. After we've finished rehearsing the lines, we shoot the actual scene either in front of a green sceen or on a cheap set we've made outside the TD Fanfiction HQ. Once we have the footage, we send it to the HQ, and they upload it."
"Fanfiction HQ? Are we able to change the course of stories there?"
"Yep, that's where the Beta Readers go to fix up stories."
Noah grinned smugly, slapped Cody so he'd stop doing the annoying "LA LA LA LA LA" thing, and continued. "Well, Cody and I need to go edit some horrible stories if we want to get out of this place-don't ask why-so do you think the HQ manager would let us?"
"For actual characters? Of course he would! You just have to convince CDion247 to go down with you and change up her script."
Noah and Cody walked over to where CDion247 was standing and tapped on her shoulder.
Irritably, she turned around. "What do you wa-wa... OMG! NOAH-BOA! CODYKINS! NO WAY!"
She had them in a group hug (or rather, Cody and Noah being held close to her against their will) and was slowly, accidentally suffocating them.
"Could you put me down now, please?" Cody managed to utter as he felt his lungs cave in. CDion247 nodded excitedly and let them go.
"So, what do you two fine fellows need?" she inquired flirtatiously, making Noah gag on the inside.
"We need to fix your fanfiction."
"MY FANFICTION IS PERFECTLY FINE!"
Noah grimaced and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Yes, it is beautiful, we just have some advice for you to make Duncney even better. Will you come back to the Fanfiction HQ with us?"
When it looked like she was about to say no, Noah jabbed a part of her elbow with two fingers, causing her to lose consciousness.
"Cody, you grab the script, I take her! Let's go!"
Noah and Cody walked down the dimly-lit, grey hallway leading to TD Fanfiction HQ's editting room, Noah clutching CDion247's hand so she couldn't writhe away.
"Y'know, I have to ask," Cody began, "where did you learn that move? The one where you made her lose consciousness?"
"Out of eight siblings, three of them practice some forms are martial arts, and are second-degree black belts in at least one of them. I picked up a few things," explained Noah nonchalantly.
A flailing CDion247 caught Noah's attention, and he turned his head to her. "Aren't you so glad we duct-taped her mouth?"
The trio (or rather, duo plus one) were each seated in a nice black swivel-chair around a black table. Cody had a fresh piece of paper and a pencil in hand, ready to write down a better story. Noah was leaning back, reading a book he got out of hammer-space, and CDion247 was still furious about being held captive, although she did get the duct-tape off.
"Alright, CDion, time to fix up your story," Cody said.
CDion247 blew a strand of hair out of her face and crossed her arms but reluctantly nodded. "Go ahead."
"Hand me the original."
CDion tossed the script to him.
"Now let's see here..."
Duncan sat on a bench, listening to his Alanis Morisette album on his iPod, his usual smile on his face. He listened to the birds tweeting and grinned even wider. Life was good.
Then Courtney came along and sat down next to him. Gwen had passed by and was fortunately pooped on by hovering geese BECAUSE SHE'S A BOYFRIEND STEALING ********* WITH **** THAT SHOULD **** AND SHE DOESN'T DESERVE A TOTAL HOTTIE LIKE DUNCAN THAT LITTLE *****!
Duncan and Courtney stared at each other, with him gazing into her onyx eyes, feeling his soul being stolen by the optimistic CIT.
"Courtney, I feel that I should tell you that I love you," Duncan gasped, a passionate, limpid tear running down his face. "You're just so perfect."
He hopped off the bunch and went down on one knee, pulling two tickets out of his pocket. "Courtney... Will you go to the Celine Dion concert with me?"
Courtney gasped and jumped up and down in excitement. "Of course! I know how much you love Celine Dion! I'd be honored!"
Duncan smiled and hugged her as he got back up onto the bench. "Courtney, my honey munchkins, I love and pray that you will always be with me."
"Now kiss me!"
And the two lovebirds shared a long, passionate kiss, Duncan savoring every moment of it. "I WUV U SO MUCH CORTNEY AND WE NEED TO BE 2GETHAR 4EVAR AND I KNOW I CHEETED ON GWEN BUT I'LL NEVAR EVAR DO DAT AGAIN I PROMISE!"
"I'm not worried about you going out with that ***** **** * ** **** * ********! She doesn't deserve a handsome, innocent hunk like you!"
"Baby, you're my forever girl!"
"And you're my eternal boy!"
And so the two lived on happily ever after, while Gwen lived out the rest of her life as a hobo in New York City! The end!
Noah began banging his head on the table after finishing reading that.
"That... was horrible. Pure rubbish."
Cody grimaced. "For once, I agree with you, Mr. Cowell."
CDion gasped and held her heart to her chest. "I thought it was beautiful!"
Noah gasped quite similarly to her and exclaimed, "OMG IKR! I think I'm gonna, like, totally cry! That was, like, totally, I mean, like, swagtastic!"
He gasped again. "Urgh! That's really annoying!"
"OMG IKR!" Cody mocked, grinning.
Noah looked unamused. "Okay, let's just jot down what's wrong with the story."
"Well, sheesh, where do we begin?"
Wang Fire. Avatar: The Last Airbender references FTW!