Shoot for the Stars

Oil Can Harry, though always portrayed as the villain in the media, wasn't so in real life. "Acting is a thrill, especially if you get to be the villain," he said to the press in an interview. "But I don't ever plan on doing such a thing. In the real world, it's too darn hard to be a criminal. And even if I was a crook, why must genius always be surrounded by incompetence? Why did Swifty have to be so stupid? No wonder in those cartoons I couldn't get Pearl. I could sing like a pro, but I couldn't get my hands on the prettiest mouse in Mouseville, and now, Leo the Patriotic Lion's home, Wildcat City, Kansas, USA. It's nice here, however; there is plenty of entertainment from all those bands, marching or rock. Good town. Good for the whole family."

When asked about the same question, Pearl Pureheart replied, "Oh, yes; everything you heard from Harry is true. I agree with him; why does genius have to be hindered by stupidity? I wonder if it has become impossible to find good help these days, at least for the villains?"

Mighty Mouse himself had input on the subject. "Plenty of times I've taken Harry to jail," he said, "but in the real world, he's too darn good-natured to try anything of that sort. Perhaps he, Pearl, and I should perform like that guy whose last name is Pavarotti. I don't know. I don't think America has a personal taste for opera like they used to. But if those old cartoons of mine are still as beloved as ever, good for them!"

On this day, Pearl was experiencing her share of being the damsel in distress. But unlike the media, she did not simply wait to be rescued; she tried to do some spying of her own. The mystery goon who had captured her (and subsequently captured Harry) listened intently to the boss and his dim-witted henchman.

"Eh, looks like you ruined a good pair of rocket boosters, boss," said what sounded like the voice of Swifty.

"You fool!" said the villain, banging his henchman on the head. "They are not ruined! They are in perfect shape! Bent like this, I'll be able to sabotage NASA's space program so that no longer will they be able to shoot for the stars. And that incompetent Mighty Mouse can't stop me now!"

"Who is that creep who took us hostage?" Harry asked Pearl.

"Well, it's not Bowser Koopa, that's for sure," said Pearl, "but it sure sounded like him to me."

"Bowser Koopa doesn't have a henchman with Swifty's voice; he has his seven Koopa Kids. So he's out. It can't be Dr. Robotnik, because he's dealing with that blue hedgehog. It's not Lawrence Limburger because he's banned from this planet forever. It's not any of Moo Montana's enemies, and it certainly isn't the Shredder. Who could it be?"

"Is this someone you and I don't know?"

"It must be. You don't happen to have that 'save-our-necklace' you used in that movie, do you?" (Who has seen the feature-length production "Mighty Mouse in the Great Space Chase?")

"Actually, I do." Pearl pulled out the necklace and opened it up. "And as you probably know, no matter where Mighty Mouse is, he will receive our 3-dimensional, holographic, distress signal."

"Hmmm, holographs," said Harry in fascination. "Here. You call him. I'll keep listening to that creep."

"Okay," said Pearl as Harry snuck by the door.

Naturally, when the signal reached M.M. (Mighty Mouse), he was at the gymnasium working out. "A hologram for Mighty Mouse! A hologram here for Mighty Mouse!" came the pre-recorded voice associated with Pearl's necklace, done by her first mate, Whitney.

"Mighty Mouse, it's Pearl again," Pearl began. "And yes, I've been captured again, but unlike the media productions, it wasn't Harry who captured me. Besides, he's here with me and he and I can't identify the cat-and-mouse napper."

Harry walked back over to Pearl and continued the thought. "All we can make out is his ideas of using bent rocket boosters, so that, as he put it, 'NASA can't shoot for the stars anymore.' Nastier villains than him have tried to sabotage NASA before, and they failed."

"We need your help," Pearl concluded, "but we'll keep doing our part. We're just trying not to panic."

"Don't worry about a thing, you two," M.M. replied. "I'll be there on the double!" He put down the weights, launched himself skyward, creating a hole in the gym's ceiling, and sang his trademarked couplet: "Mighty Mouse is on the way! Here I come to save the day!"

Harry kept listening to the mystery boss yelling at his henchman for being such a bumbling idiot. "He's starting to sound just like me when I always yelled at Swifty," he said to Pearl. "I wonder if I'm supposed to have an evil identical twin or something?"

"Either that or you, as a villain, were his role model, and that's not good," Pearl made the comment. "I hate it when that happens."

"And whatever you do, don't mention it to my twin, Barry!" the villain concluded.

"Barry?" Harry exclaimed. "Who do we know has a twin named Barry?"

"The only one I know with a twin named Barry is Jerry J. Godllub, and he's SUPERCAT's enemy," Pearl replied. "But why would he want to get rid of Mighty Mouse?"

After three seconds, the two gasped in revelation. "Oh, no! It is Jerry J. Godllub!" they exclaimed in unison. "And he's practicing on Mighty Mouse so that he can ultimately kill SUPERCAT!"

"Too bad Mighty Mouse doesn't know the only that can harm SUPERCAT is that blue stuff known as criptonitroglycerite," Harry added sadly.

"He will, once he finds us," Pearl replied.

M.M. searched high and low all over the galaxy before finding the ship that Jerry J. Godllub was driving. "Pearl and Harry must be inside that ship," he said to himself. "My see-through vision will show me where." He closed his eyes and activated his see-through vision, which is commonly referred to as X-ray vision by most other superheroes, including the Cat of Steel himself, SUPERCAT. His vision eventually showed him the room where they were imprisoned in, though they were free to walk around. "There they are," he said to himself again as he returned to normal vision and aimed himself at the wall. When he broke through, the alarms naturally went off, but Godllub came to the conclusion Harry and Pearl escaped. When he stormed in the room, he received a double shock in the form of Mighty Mouse standing next to Pearl and Harry.

"Mighty Mouse!" he screamed. "You're not supposed to be on here! You are supposed to be dead!"

"Dead? What are you talking about?" M.M. replied angrily.

Godllub's dim-witted henchman walked into the room, and Harry was equally shocked. "So, Swifty, you were bad the whole time!" he said sternly.

"How was I supposed to know you weren't, ex-boss?" Swifty replied, confused.

"Never mind. You won't get away with this, and neither will your new boss!" Harry replied.

Godllub kept attempting to hit M.M. with a club, but to no avail. Obeying M.M.'s advice, Pearl snuck behind them, opened a panel showing the warp drive, and dropped a monkey wrench inside (something Harry did while his brain was in her body, as dramatized in a part of "Mighty Mouse in the Great Space Chase").

The ship spun out of control as M.M. found out Godllub was only in the process of planning his big plot to put NASA out of business, and possibly give Communists the idea America was losing her touch. When it crash-landed, everyone found themselves in the middle of an abandoned forest area in Wildcat City, and firefighters were ready to put the blaze out. In the midst of confusion, a bucket of water fell off a shelf and splashed all over Harry.

"I'm taking him to jail, and you two back home!" M.M. announced.

"Take me anywhere, as long as it's dry!" Harry stammered, shivering from the water.

When all was said and done, Godllub was back behind bars, M.M. was being heralded for his deed, and Pearl and Harry relaxed from the stress by playing a game of Monopoly. M.M. even got a phone call from SUPERCAT, who offered his congratulations. "Wouldn't be surprised if he tried to apprehend you again," SUPERCAT had said. "He plots to destroy me all the time, and the only thing that can harm me and kill me off is blue criptonitroglycerite."

"I forgot about that part," M.M. replied, "but I'll remember it from now on. Thanks for the tip."

Celebrations ensured that night, and M.M. had been reborn as a legend in his own timing.


Mighty Mouse © Terrytoons, 20th Century FOX, Filmation, CBS, Ralph Bakshi Animation, and whoever else owns the rights. Whitney is the name I gave to Pearl's first mate; I don't think he has an official name in the show or film.

Mario © Nintendo

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles © Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, and all others who own the rights.

Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA

Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies and everyone else who owns the rights

Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa © Ryan Brown

SUPERCAT and Godllub twins © me