Standard disclaimers: I have NO claim to DC characters or COPS. Rating: PG Summary: Young Justice TV night.

The end of Chickenverse. It's all fun and games till..

Gotham's Bad Boys **

Superboy licked his fingers of the buttery popcorn slime, then rubbed his greasy hand against his spandex-clad leg. He passed the bowl across the sofa to Wonder Girl, continuing on with his story. "So then Rob's like 'you guys have no idea what goes on in Gotham after sundown.' And I'm like, yeah, who really gives a rat's--"

"S-boy," Lobo complained from the floor. He was laying on his stomach, and took the opportunity to look behind him, a twinkle of violence lighting up his black and yellow eyes. "It's on. You wanna see what goes on in Gotham after dark, you watch this."

"Yeah, totally, Kon. Take a chill-pill," Wonder Girl offered. "Don't go all spaz-boy on us."

Kon invested himself in the television set. "I'm not going spaz-boy," he muttered, investing his interest in the COPS theme. "It's not like I'm a spaz-boy like Robin or anything."

"GEEZE," Cassie Sandsmark moaned, turning up the volume on the television up. "Chill."

"COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty."

"Or until Batman holds ya over a ledge."

"SHUTUP!" Cassie and Slobo cried out in unison.

The screen flashed "Gotham Heights, 9:14 pm"

"Aww, CRUD!" Superboy ground out. "That's a SUBURB! I want to see GOTHAM! Crappy COPS! Advertising Gotham for a week."

"Do you want me to put my fist through your face?" Slobo grumbled, never turning around.

"Both of you shut up," Wonder Girl declared, frowning. "They got called to a domestic disturbance. That /could/ be cool. Maybe even the suburbanites are freaks like the Arkham escapees."

That seemed to sate the two boys. They both shifted, getting themselves comfortable in their respective corners of the universe, preparing to be disappointed.

The officer was driving down a dark, ill-lit road, talking to the camera. "I've been a cop in this town for. ten years. Seen some weird stuff. But I think we all have-it goes with the territory. They say after a priest has been hearing confessions for a year or so, he stops hearing new ones. Same with being a cop. You work the beat for long enough and you've seen every strange thing human beings can do to each other. And I mean /everything/. People doing weird stuff with hamsters, husbands and wives throwing everything under the sun at each other. kids smoking anything they can get their hands on, trying to get high. I pride myself on being a kind of worldly guy," the officer continued. "And I've seen a lot of stuff on this job-so when I say there isn't any such thing as 'The Bat-Man,' I mean it. There're just a lot of dark alleyways, and a lot of hard working cops that."

"Haha. Batman ain't real. Someone tell Rob that his strings're being pulled- -"

"Kon, can it already."

The officer stopped the car. "Well, this is interesting." He opened his door and got out, and the cameras followed, shaking slightly as they walked up the driveway of a large, well-kept home. One kid was sitting in the driveway, cross-legged, holding his shoulder, and hiding his face from the light of the camera.

Another officer, thin and fit but balding, was trying to talk to the young man, but grew distracted when a dark-haired man wearing a light blue sweater walked away from the boy, and the camera swung, following him.

"Sir! Sir, I said to stay here. You can't talk to the girl. We'll talk to her in a minute!"

"Who the hell are you?" the man in the sweater screamed. "You can't just come in here-"

"He's been jumping down the girl's throat since I got here. All I know is the girl hit the kid with something, and she's crying, and the dad wants to kill her," the officer explained. "Sir! We'll talk to her, and you in just-- "

"DAD!" the young man cried out pitifully. "Stop my dad!"

"Take care of him," the first officer said, kneeling down next to the young man. "Can I take a look at your arm?"

"NO!" the young man cried, his voice shuddering. He pulled away from the officer, clutching his arm even tighter.

"Now, it looks to me, just from listening to you, that you're in a little bit of shock." The officer's gloved hand reached over to the boy's shoulder, but the kid pulled away.

"I'm not in shock!" The kid said harshly. "When I'm in shock, I'll let you know I'm in shock!"

"Dude, the kid drank a gallon of Robin for breakfast," Kon pointed out. "Let the guy look at your arm, little dude! Or are you embarrassed that you got beat up by a girl?"

Cassie kicked Kon gently, shutting him up.

"Then if it's not a big deal, let me see your arm."

"Make my dad stop yelling at Cass first," the boy ordered.

"Well, someone's already doing that." He grabbed hold of the boy's hand and began prying fingers off of the kid's other arm. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"It's not a big deal, it was an accident, and she didn't mean it, and. DAAD!" The boy tried to get to his feet, but just then, the officer succeeded in removing the boy's hand from his upper arm. The camera pulled away quickly when it became evident that there was blood and bone being held back by the kid's death-grip.

It rushed across the lawn quickly to a stone veranda, where the balding officer was trying to calm the boy's father down, explaining they were going to sort everything out, and THEN they would see about arresting the short, thin Asian girl who sat with her knees pulled to her chest, sobbing on the metal lawn chair.

"Why don't you go see to your son. An ambulance should be here any minute."

The middle aged man scowled at the girl once, then began walking back to his son.

The cop leaned in towards the girl, trying to be calm, yet forceful. "Can you talk to me? Maybe we can sort this out."

"She broke his arm!" the man screamed from off camera.

The girl let out another shuddering sob.

"You're going to have to stop crying and talk to me. Did that kid. Tim do something to you?"

"Is stupid boy," the girl moaned miserably. "So I hit."

"What did you hit him with?" the officer questioned, curiosity seeping into his voice.

Without looking up, the girl's thin, wiry arm shot out from her body, pointing at something near the oversized gas grill.

The cop slowly walked over, and with his hands on his hips, inspected the long rack of raw ribs next to the grill. "Can I ask WHY you hit him with this?"

"Side of beef too big," the girl moaned, not a touch of sarcasm in her voice.

He scratched his neck, thinking. "Ohhhhkay. Now, we got one really mad dad over there, so I say you dry your eyes, and help me figure this out here, or you're going to be taking a trip down to juvie."

The girl looked up, trembling once, then drying her eyes on the back of her hands.

"Ok. Cause I know no one wants to go to juvie. I know the kids around here, and I don't think we've ever run into trouble with you, so lets just get this all cleared up. Ok, you hit him because he's stupid. Did he do something to you?"

"Don't like his girlfriend. She's dumb. He's dumb for liking."

"So you're jealous?"

"He's just dumb. Giving him tough love." The girl sniffed, then wiped her nose on the back of her wrist. "Didn't mean to break. We'll fix, right?"

The first officer, who'd been giving the long monolog in the squad car showed up. The balding cop rose and stepped aside to talk to him. "Ok, medics are stabilizing the kid's arm. The kid doesn't want to press charges, but the dad does. You got anything out of her?"

"We haven't even gotten to her name. She's pretty upset. I think it was just a stupid joke gone wrong. And I think there might be a language barrier. I want to try and get some information from her, talk to her parents. see if we can get this over and done with. Maybe if the kid's parents come down hard on her, Mr. Drake'll be more inclined to not file charges."

"Oh fer crying out loud! She hit the guy with meat! They should lock her up and throw away the--"

Wonder Girl kicked Superboy in the side. "You watching this or what?"

"I'm watching it! God, everyone in Gotham IS demented! This is like Jerry Springer, Unplugged." Superboy leaned forward in anticipation, wondering what was going to happen next.

The girl on camera fidgeted when she was asked for her name. "We just need to put it all in our police report." the balding cop explained patiently. "So, can I have your name?" He waited, pen poised to write.

"Ca-cass. Cassandra," the girl answered, uncertain of herself.

"Last name?"

She bit her lip, staring at the officer, unsure how to answer.

"We're going to need your last name," he said with a touch of frustration.

"Cain," the girl whispered finally, almost too low for the directional microphone on the camera to detect.

"Alright. And how old are you?"

The girl stared at him blankly for a moment, then shrugged.

Kon slapped his knee. "Aww, come on. She has to know how old she is!"

Wonder Girl couldn't take it any more. She crawled off the sofa and sat cross-legged on the floor. "KON! Incase you haven't noticed, English isn't her first language! Sponge Bob Squarepants is going to be a detective before you are."

"Shuddup," Kon snipped. "I'm watching this."

"What about your parents," the cop interjected.


"Mom. dad," the cop explained. "You don't want to end up in juvie," he reminded her.

She chewed on her cheek, thoughtful for a moment. "Dad. You talk to dad." She took a small black cell phone and pushed a memory dial, then hit "send." The microphones picked up the faintest sound of the phone ringing, and the girl began gnawing on her bottom lip. Finally, someone answered. "It's Cass. Not out with Bart. In trouble." There was a pause. "Big trouble. I a bad person. Talk to him." She thrust the phone at the officer.

"Hello, this is Officer Miller with the Gotham P.D. Can I ask who I am speaking with?"

The officer from the car had come back within range of the camera, and was standing with his hands on his hips, waiting. "Looks like we got hold of the girl's parents," he explained to the camera absently. "Which is a good thing. You don't want to see this stuff get out of hand. I mean, yeah. she did give the kid a compound fracture. But she was crying pretty good."

"Bruce Wayne," the bald officer repeated incredulously into the phone. "Should I just assume you're not the custodial parent." He nodded a few times. "Staying with. For how long? And where's her mother."

Still talking with the camera, the other cop gave a tired sigh. "Now there's something you don't want to see. Mr. Wayne had his own troubles with the law the last half a year or so. Got cleared on the charges, but still. And he adopted that grown kid he took in like fourteen or fifteen years ago. but now he has what appears to be a biological kid popping out of the woodwork, and the girl ain't even American."

"You might have to come down here," Officer Miller explained into the phone. "Well, she DID break the young man's arm, and the father wants to press charges."

"That is so freaking cool," Superboy announced. "The people in the 'burbs are WACK."

"Jack Drake. that's right. It would probably end up saving everyone some trouble."

"I like chicks who like bone crushing," Slobo announced. "If I didn't have a girlfriend who could kick some ass, I'd totally be looking up this broad."

"Well, he's going to come down here," the officer said as he handed the phone back to the girl. "Then we can get this all straightened out."

"No go to juvie?"

"I think it'll help that your dad's kind of known. But I can't promise anything. You DID break the boy's arm."

The girl looked down at the ground, practically ready to break into sobs again. "I know. Thought it funny. Not funny. Chicken's funny, and Spam is funny. Cow not funny."

"We'll have her father have a talk with her. Maybe she doesn't understand."

The cop wiped a line of perspiration from his forehead. "It's good to see you're sorry. but you really can't go around hitting people with things."

"Normally, we'd be trying to press charges," the other cop explained again to the camera. Just because you don't want kids going around perpetrating violence on other kids. But she's beyond remorseful, and her friend doesn't want us to do anything. As much as you'd like to throw a kid in Juvenile Detention for being devoid of common sense, you know it wouldn't accomplish anything in the end. I mean, look who the kid has for a dad. She has two strikes against her, in the common sense game." That blurb being given, the station cut to commercials.

"Nooo!! I wanna see the rich guy!" Superboy howled.

"You said it was going to be stupid!" Wonder Girl moaned in defeat. "You didn't like it because it wasn't the Big City."

"Well, I changed my mind," Kon huffed. "Stupid commercials. It needs to be like HBO. I mean, geeze, this is so messed up. No WONDER they end up with people like the Riddler and Poison Ivy running around. Look at how their NORMAL people act? And no WONDER Robin is a spaz. Did you see that dumb little kid? He was yellin' at the cop who was just trying to help. And that chick. Dude. Don't even get me STARTED about that chick. She beats the tar out of that guy, then she's crying! No wonder Robin just randomly decided to take a leave of absence last May-he was probably in Arkham, getting therapy."

Wonder Girl and Slobo looked from the car commercial gracing the TV screen, to each other, then to Superboy.


"And he like couldn't go on any missions and stuff. but he came to the pizza party?" Wonder Girl noted.

"And got all weird about personal space, and no one touching him and stuff?" Slobo added.

Wonder Girl tilted her head thoughtfully. "Ya think.?"

Kon pulled one leg under him and sat back on the sofa just a little. "Nahh. I mean. That's just. naah."

There was a cool rush of air as a speedster tore through Young Justice headquarters like a nasty paper cut. "Whatcha watching?" Bart Allen asked innocently, then took a sip from his super-size drink, baring the White Castle emblem.

The commercial ended, and the show continued. The paramedics continued to deal with the grumpy young man with the broken arm and the kid's father started into another tirade about pressing charges before the police could calm him down.

"Oh," Bart noted in a panicked, high pitched voice.

"Dude, you totally had to have seen this one from the beginning. You went to Whitecastle and didn't bring anything back?"

"Uh. I forgot that was tonight," Impulse said guiltily.

"You wanted to see it too? I wish we'd have taped this. We need TiVo or something here. Think the Justice League would spring?" Kon tore the drink out of his friend's hand. Bart, meanwhile was slow on the uptake because he was transfixed with the yelling father and the crying girl.

"You guys like totally shouldn't be watching that?"

"Why not," Slobo asked. "I mean, look at that, he's making the girl cry, and the chick can totally frag him. This is real-life drama stuff, Imp."

"Cause I was supposed to tell you to watch something else cause I know lots of people who'll be way mad. never mind. Robin's dad's a jerk," Bart finished as Broken Arm Boy's dad got into the girl's face about suing her whole family, starting a floodgate of sobs.

"Low attention span or what. And geeze, obvious, much. 'Course Batman's a jerk," Superboy finished.

"That's not what I. What I meant." The boy blushed a little, then took one last swig of his drink, slurping the container dry. He shook the empty cup, then looked around at the small group. "Uhh. I hear Max calling me." The boy zoomed off, pushing wind through the room before he vanished.

"Ya think." Slobo said, rolling onto his back. "I mean, him and Batgirl."

"Yeah, whatever," Kon answered. "Now, you guys watching the show or not. Oooh. Car pulling up. Bet it's the rich guy."

Slobo looked back to the television set. "Allz I was saying is.never mind."

Wonder Girl rolled her eyes. "Nahhh."