A/N: Again, I don't own anything Wreck-It Ralph. This hasn't happened to me personally, as I've been single for all my life. Also, what car do you think Taffyta might own? I'm thinking that the next chapter is about Vanellope getting a kick-ass new ride. Summary: Basically, Vanellope scares the hell outta Taffyta with her new pet snake. When he goes missing, they have to find him.
Today was a good day in San Francisco: the sun shone brightly and it was warmer than usual, though it was still a comfortable 73 degrees out there. Not a breeze blew by, but it wasn't so unbearable.
And two lucky girls got a few animal buddies.
"Who's the cutest little puppy in the world? You are!" Taffyta doted, scratching the ear of a little white chihuahua. Meet Ophelia, the newest, fluffy member of the Muttonfudge family. Why a fancy name? "To be a beloved companion in the Muttonfudge family demands a name fit for the elite," said the girl who adopted the lucky pup. And so, she was named Ophelia.
Meanwhile, the Von Schweetz family got a scalier pal. Meet Slytherin, a ball python who's now in the hands of a happy little teen girl. Yep, Vanellope got a snake. It was only after begging her parents that her mom happily obliged to let her get one. Being the not-so-very-picky girl she was, she named him Slytherin, due to her love of Harry Potter. "Aw, yeah! You and I, we're gonna be best friends forever!" Vanellope exclaimed once she held him up.
The spunky teen went off to Taffyta's to show off her new scaly friend. Seeing Cadbury open up the door, she smiled widely. "Like my new pet, Mr. Muttonfudge?"
"Good God, Vanellope! What if that thing grows large and devours us? Besides, Taffyta got a new dog and if that snake of yours does so much as swallow up Ophelia, I will personally ask God to damn that serpent to hell," he warned, trying to keep himself calm and composed. He's still trying to control his remarks about Vanellope, apparently.
"Ooh, scary. What next? Gonna boot me and Taffy outta the house for not conforming to your beliefs?" Vanellope quipped, her snarky remarks always getting to the parents easily. "Jeez, calm down, Mr. Muttonfudge. Just a joke."
"Anyways, come on in. You better keep a close eye on that bloody snake," the businessman stated tersely, letting the girl in.
"Thanks! Hey, Mrs. Muttonfudge! Look at my new pet!" she called out, the snake balling up in her hands.
Eclaire poked her head out of the living room."Hm? Oh, it's you again. I should have fig-Mon Dieu, what is THAT?!" Eclaire shrieked in pure fear, pointing at the snake.
"My new pet. His name's Slytherin," Vanellope smiled, bringing the grey python over to Eclaire. That only made the woman back up in fear, shaking her head and stammering.
"I believe you're finished here, Vanellope," Cadbury cleared his throat.
The tomboy smirked, stifling giggles. "Haha, alright, then." She went up to Taffyta's room, holding Slytherin behind her back, and opened up the door.
There was Ophelia, being trained by Taffyta. Wagging her tail, the little puppy yipped happily whenever she got a treat.
"Good girl!" Taffyta praised, holding up a treat for Ophelia to stand up and gently eating it.
"So whaddaya feed her? Fancy kibble? Exquisite steak?" Vanellope teased as she gave her love a kiss on the cheek.
"Like you would know. Well, I guess, since Ophelia wants only the finest in canine cuisine," bragged the pink-clad girl. "Didn't get a pet, Vannie?"
"Oh, ya know... Dad said no, Mom said I needed a little bit more responsibility," shrugged the snake-owner, keeping a bit of a poker face.
"Then what's that behind your back?" wondered the girly-girl.
Ophelia yipped nervously at Vanellope, knowing that there's something the stranger's hiding, and it's freaking her out!
"Okay, you're definitely hiding something," Taffyta concluded. "Ophelia's flipping out!"
Vanellope started laughing and took her hands out, revealing that she was, indeed, hiding a snake. "I wanted to surprise ya!"
"OH, MY GOD, get that demon away from me!" screamed Taffyta, holding Ophelia as she backed up a bit. Being deathly afraid of snakes and the like, Taffyta absolutely hated such reptiles.
The snake-lover laughed again, shaking her head. "He's not that bad! Yeah, he's grey and stuff, but he's so not a bad snake at all." Seeing her girlfriend shaking like a leaf, though, she sighed and put the snake into a bag. "Alright, alright. I like to give my gal a for-funzies scare, but I won't give her a heart attack."
It took a good fifteen minutes before Taffyta could recompose herself. Ophelia was sniffing the bag and growling a little. "Okay... I think I'm fine now, Vannie. Just... Don't bring in anything icky and scaly like that again!" the pink girl huffed, holding a hand over her heart.
"Hey, don't sweat it. I won't, alright?" Vanellope reassured her, smiling. "Ya know, would ya feel better if I kissed ya?"
"Whatever, hun," she laughed, playfully pushing her away.
"Anyways, I gotta hightail it outta here before Slytherin escapes from that bag," joked the snake-loving girl. Ophelia barked at her, definitely knowing something's up. "I know, I know. You're happy to see him leave the house, poochie," Vanellope smiled. "Alright, ready to go, Slythers?" She looked into the snake's bag and went pale. "Fuck," was what she said. "I think the snake's gone AWOL, Taffy."
"You're saying the snake could be anywhere in the house?!" Taffyta shrieked, pacing around a bit. "Someone call the military, because a serpentine demon's on the loose!"
"Whoa, whoa! Just calm down, Strawberry," the raven-haired tomboy advised, using her old nickname for Taffyta. "Ya can't just panic and run everywhere. You might crush the snake without ever knowing that he was around!"
That only made Taffyta and Ophelia panic even more, making Cadbury go up to see what was going on. "Bloody hell, again? Well, at least it wasn't something else, unlike last time," he sighed, rubbing his temples a bit.
"Yeah, we're just looking for Slytherin. See, he slithered away somewhere," Vanellope explained, rather nervously.
"What?! So you let that damn serpent slip away from your scrutinizing eye?!" he hissed, obviously angry, but also very scared.
"Hey, we'll do our best to find him!" she countered. "Right, Taffy?"
"Y-yeah. We'll find him," stuttered the other, not looking forward to it, truth be told. They went off, Vanellope staying on the top floor to check the rooms, since Taffyta wouldn't dare go into her parents' room.
"Here, snakey, snakey, snakey..." Vanellope called out. She's in Cadbury and Eclaire's room, wondering if Slytherin went in there. "If ya come out now, I'll give ya a nice juicy mouse!" No response, so she decided to check under the bed. "Dammit, where are ya, ya bugger?" she mumbled as she checked behind the nightstand. Giving up, she went out. She's already checked Taffyta's room, she's already checked the bathroom... Where else didn't she check? Vanellope sprinted down the stair and checked the closest room, which was the kitchen.
Just like the rest of the mansion, the kitchen was quite extravagant. Sleek white electric stovetops and a stunning brick oven, marble flooring and countertops, and a generally modern look to it. Well, except for the fridge, which was made to be like an especially cold room with an ice room next to it. Of course, Cadbury and Eclaire hired only the best architect in town, which really showed how demanding and exacting their visions can be.
"Admiring the kitchen, huh? I thought we're looking for the snake, Vannie," Taffyta teased, raising an eyebrow as she held Ophelia.
"Huh? Sorry, Taffy. Your place is just... I dunno, like it came out of a Greek epic on the exterior, but a magazine article of home decor on the interior," Vanellope tried to explain. 'Especially that brick oven. You could totally make killer pizzas!"
"Heh. We use that oven for everything related to bread. For everything else, we use the other oven. Now, come on! If we see that snake where the food is, Mom's so gonna freak!" the rich girl warned.
That snapped Vanellope back into the situation and she sprinted into the pantry, frantically looking for Slytherin amongst all that food.
Meanwhile, Eclaire was in the living room, relaxing on the couch reading some sappy romance novel. "Now let's see what happens to the critically injured Augustus and whether or not Gemma returns to him..." giggled the woman. Just as she started to read, though, she felt something slithering around her neck. "Hm? What in the...?" she wondered. As she turned and saw herself face to face with the grey ball python, she shrieked so loud as if the windows would break. She started babbling in French, praying that she'd survive this.
"Shit, that's Mom!" Taffyta gasped. Vanellope sprinted towards the living room, the pink girl following close behind. Ophelia was full on barking now, hating the snake as much as her owner did, if not more.
Eclaire stood on a chair on the other side of the living room, still screaming like a banshee. Cadbury came running into the scene, bow and arrow in hand.
"And I call out Mr. Muttonfudge for not practicing proper archery safety!" Vanellope announced, pointing at him. She ran over to Slytherin and picked him up. "And you need a handgun, no matter how classy you are. Bow and arrows just aren't easy to grab, not to mention the pulling back and aiming. You're dead by the time you get a good aim on that."
Cadbury gave the bow and arrow a glare, despising Vanellope's smart-alecky comment, yet knowing she was right. "Hmph. You win this round of wits, Von Schweetz," he conceded.
"The snake... The snake..." Eclaire stammered, fainting shortly after.
"Darling!" Cadbury exclaimed, rushing over to her. "Vanellope, I suggest you leave now."
Vanellope smirked and gave Taffyta their usual goodbye kiss, this time flicking her tongue in like a snake does.
Taffyta grew red-faced and playfully pushed her away, spitting out to clear her mouth of any excess saliva. "Gross, Vannie! Never knew you were into kissing with the tongue."
"Hehe. See ya, Strawberry!" Vanellope whooped, running out of the mansion, snake in hand, this time actually making sure that she has him.