I'm Famous!

"Let me put it this way... I challenge you to beat Sasuke's anger issues out of him! If you succeed, Kakashi will wear a green bodysuit for... a week. If you don't, you'll have to wear a standard jounin uniform for the same time!" Sarutobi Hiruzen said, pointing at Gai. He was clearly passionate and feeling strongly about his words, telling Gai that this was no joke. "I'm just relaying that for Kakashi," he added, returning to his standard demeanor.

"I see, Hokage-sama! It is a clear challenge from my Eternal Rival, and as such, I will not let him defeat me like this! Yosh, I am Maito Gai, and I will turn Sasuke-kun into a boy in the springtime of his Youth or else I shall wear a standard uniform for a week! And if I can't do that, I will wear a standard uniform lined with weights for a month! And if-" the Jounin continued out crying rather passionately about how he was gonna succeed at this challenge, but Sarutobi dismissed him.

On one corner of the office, an ANBU giggled. On another, the sound of a turning page was heard. At those times, Sarutobi wished his ANBU weren't so horribly blasé about his own health. He might be the most badass man in Konoha, but even he gets distracted sometimes, dammit.

"At least don't steal my Icha Icha!" He growled at the ANBU that was concealed behind nothing much. Oh, how he wanted, desperately, to punch that fucker in the nose.

Sasuke shivered. "I kept having nightmares about youth..." he mumbled to himself, mostly.

Naruto scoffed. "You think that's bad? I keep having dreams about this really old guy that calls himself a super pervert," he said, rolling his eyes, "trust me, dreaming of yourself as a toddler really ain't as bad as my standard dreams."

"That's... not the problem. Green. Spandex and green. That's all I can think about," he said, shivering.

Meanwhile, Iruka shared Sasuke's fear. "That would probably be Maito Gai," said the chunin, "who, coincidentally, is to be your Jounin-sensei. But that will wait until later. First, Team One..."

As Iruka began to drone out the names of the teams, Sasuke found himself dreading his future. If his dreams were to be trusted, it would not be pretty in the least. But then, he steeled himself. He was an avenger and he was the best there was at enduring the crap life threw at him. He would NOT allow something as simple as nerves over getting an... eccentric... teacher getting in his way. Besides, all that he knew about the jounin was what everybody knew about him. That he was a training nut and wore green spandex. And that's because the man hadn't had a problem with introducing himself to Sasuke and explaining that he'd be taking Sasuke on as an apprentice on top of the already existing team he had.

At least the man seemed to take training seriously. That would only be a good thing for Sasuke.

Naruto, meanwhile, knew that he wouldn't get an actual team. His situation was maybe the biggest mess in the history of Konoha, but then again, after his conversation with Sasuke was over, he had turned his thoughts to elemental manipulation. Specifically, how to manage to manipulate lightning quickly.

Doing it was relatively easy, all he had to do was focus on his chakra rubbing against itself and it would generate the necessary electrical charge. And he had gotten it, in just a few days, to the point that he could generate small currents of electricity with the ease of a thought. Problem was, he didn't particularly know how to handle making it into an attack.

He'd experimented with electrifying his physical attacks, but it'd proven harder than he'd first thought. His sole attacking jutsu, if it could be even called that, was a far cry from being ready to see combat usage. The raisho, or lightning palm, had proven effective when Naruto got enough time to focus on it and charge it up. He'd actually found out that he could pierce through the earthen walls Ebisu could bring up with ease using the lightning palm. So much so that he could casually bitchslap them and they'd crumble into dust.

He had worked on maintaining his charge on his palms instead of having it dissipate when he struck something. This, he trained by blocking mud bullets. Since trying to command two palms' worth of lightning hadn't been particularly easy (he could only get nearly unnoticeable bolts of lightning to form between his hands, and only if he was running his chakra through the space in between them), he'd stuck to one while trying this exercise.

Even if he could slap aside or outright cancel out the attacks, he could only do so once or twice before he lost control or concentration, and he'd then be forced to eat mud. The old pervert had only dropped by once since the last time Naruto had seen him, and the visit had been short enough that nothing had been accomplished, except give him some encouragement.

"Naruto! Naruto! I'm calling out your name! Don't make me start to list off whose panties you've stolen!" yelled a rather familiar voice.

"I swear it was an accident! I confused Sakura's mom's laundry bag with my groceries!" there was an indignant shout somewhere in the back of Naruto's mind, but he didn't really care. "Besides, she didn't mind it. Also... Huh? Why do I suddenly hear old perverts in my head?" asked Naruto, coming out of the trance that thoughts of mud fights with Ebisu brought to his mind. He wanted to stuff a mud bullet down the annoying man's throat so bad..!

"Because you're probably insane," said the same voice, "besides, you could be having hallucinations of worse things." Naruto vaguely heard the giggles across the room then. "Like Sarutobi-sensei in a bikini," the voice continued without a care in the world.

All giggles stopped. There was a long and collective "EWWWWW" that coursed through the room.

But Naruto himself brought a finger to his lips. "I could raise you higher, but I won't because Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei would hate me if I did, and that would be bad," Naruto reasoned, nodding to himself. "Oh, hey, you're not a hallucination!" Naruto realized, blinking up at Jiraiya, who stared down with an amused expression in his face.

"Of course I'm not! I got a week of off time just for you, brat, and we're gonna make the most of it! And by that, I mean we're going to do all sorts of stupid and illegal things that would normally get you arrested, but you can get away with it because I'm goddamn Jiraiya of the Sannin!" cried the white haired man, grabbing Naruto by the back of his jacket and throwing him through a window. It was, thankfully, open. "Vamonos!" he yelled, as he followed the orange projectile.

"I... I can't decide whether I should be envious of Naruto for training with one of the Sannin, or if I should be feeling pity on him," a young boy carrying a dog and wearing a hoody that hid most of his hair from view, asked, then he turned to another boy, this one wearing a trenchcoat that couldn't possibly be comfortable on the rather hot land of fire. "You're smart and my teammate, right? Shino, tell me how to feel, please."

"I am... stumped myself. Shikamaru?" asked Shino, turning to the boy that was at the last row.

"We will need a new word for this," Shikamaru confirmed. "For now, let's just pray for Konoha's safety..." he said, and then he turned to see a blonde girl berate a boy who seemed to be wearing a pair of panties on his head with a metallic plate attached to it. "Troublesome," he muttered to himself.

"I'm in despair! The lack of Sasuke-kun on my team has left me in despair!" cried a pinkette girl, almost weeping, but failing to do so. Sasuke studiously and furiously ignored everything around himself and tried to find a bright light in the darkness of his future...

"First Lesson: The stuff I do is actually training in disguise," began Jiraiya, grabbing Naruto just before he struck the tree Jiraiya had aimed at. "I'm slipping, though, I'd aimed a few centimeters higher," he admitted, and only then did Naruto see the x that was a few centimeters above where Naruto's forehead would've struck.

"That's... actually kinda cool," admitted Naruto, "but I will still punch you in the nuts for it. Just sayin'," he said, conversationally.

"That's good initiative," Jiraiya said, nodding in approval. "Anyway, point here is, if you wanna be as tough as me, you need to learn how to stop doing stupid shit by first recognizing what the stupid shit is. Beginning with, of course, everything that you should not do when you're trying to sneak up on someone. To this end, I will begin taking you on my standard perversion tour around Konoha. Don't worry, the ladies understand, I've already explained this," explained the white haired man.

"That's still perversion, though," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not a pervert, you know?"

"Bah," Jiraiya dismissed Naruto's claims with a hand wave before continuing, "don't think of it as you being a pervert on the girls. Think about it as the girls rewarding you for doing well by showing you things that you wouldn't be able normally. Trust me, the real thing is ALWAYS better than porn," Jiraiya said, nodding sagely.

"You go to great lengths to justify being a pervert," Naruto deadpanned.

"Only because it's fun," confessed the toad sage shamelessly, "anyway, being in actual, if not mortal, danger is the best way to train. After all, the more you get your ass kicked in training, the less it will be kicked in actual combat!"

The chakra-impaired boy looked ready to make good on his promise to punch Jiraiya in the nuts. His right hand started crackling with electricity. Naruto formed a fist and it began crackling more violently, and then he once again opened it.

"You've reduced the time that takes! Good!" Jiraiya said, nodding at Naruto. "For now, we'll focus on your physical fitness and all that jazz. I don't know the first thing about Raiton and Kakashi's on a mission right now. Anyway, this is actually a genjutsu and I'm really holding you just above the womens' side in my favorite onsen, hidden under another genjutsu. Take a deep breath," he cautioned.

Knowing the old man wasn't above making this a trick, Naruto nonetheless took a deep breath and held it... and suddenly, he felt the world around him break apart as he was sunk into hot water... and then suddenly, there were high pitched screams all around. Naruto looked around, confused, when he could pull his head out of the water. Several women, clad in nothing but their birthday suits, were screeching as they tried to cover themselves, while others were advancing on him.

In a very tiny and concerned vocice, Naruto tried to beg for forgiveness, tried to explain how it wasn't his fault and he'd been tricked into it...

… But it became difficult after the first slap, and thus he had to begin running. Fortunately for him, there were only two genin kunoichi that could chase him amongst the group, and they were reluctant to chase him very far from the Onsen.

Meanwhile, Jiraiya giggled from his hidden spot, still standing on the water itself, a genjutsu disrupting his image from the women's perception. "You've got much to learn still, Naruto, but you've got quick feet on you, I'll give you that much," he said, grinning widely. Looking at the images of feminine beauty -oh, how he loved Konoha and her girls!- all around him, he pulled out his notebook and started taking notes.

Unfortunately for him, in all the excitement of his notes, he forgot about the transparency genjutsu...

But that is a tale for another day.

"Next, we must build up your pain tolerance!" Jiraiya said, smirking despite the bruises that hadn't faded from the day before. "So I'm gonna beat the crap out of you until you can only crawl on your chin, and then I'll get Otoha, this very beautiful specimen of the 'Nurse' occupation assigned to us for the day, to heal you, at which point I will beat the crap out of you again. Say hello to Otoha-chan, Naruto," instructed Jiraiya, gesturing towards the nurse in the impossibly skimpy nurse uniform. The fact that Jiraiya liked authenticity was the only voucher of the legitimacy of Otoha's credentials.

Naruto didn't care. He just groaned. "Hello, Otoha-chan," he said, bowing to her as he'd been instructed to do when he wanted people to like him.

"Good," the white haired man said, nodding in approval, "while she works on healing you, I will be working with you on what to do and what not to do when you are on the most sacred of pursuits!" Jiraiya cried passionately.

"Food?" Naruto asked, hopeful.

"No, boy! The most important and sacred of pursuits is the one that everyone has the most impressive urge of! Getting laid! A lot! With a lot of different partners! And in a lot of different ways! You might be too young to get laid now, but by the time you're legal, I'll have taught you all of my tricks and tips to deal with the fairest of genders!" he said, gesturing towards Otoha, who just giggled bashfully at being described as such.

"I will be helping with that, too, Naruto-kun," she informed him, throwing a wink his way. "And not only because it's a favour to Jiraiya-sama, if you know what I mean," she said, smirking widely as she looked him up and down. "Cute as you are, I'll bet that you'll turn into a right heartbreaker with a little time and proper grooming."

Naruto blushed intensely at her words, almost taking a step back. He hadn't ever gotten that kind of praise before. Sure, some people had called him cute before recognizing him as 'That Kid', but it was still nice to know a grown, and very hot, woman thought that he would be a very fetching lad with a little time.

"Do I get to defend myself during this?" Naruto asked, defeated.

"That's the beauty of this training: It will also serve as Taijutsu training! In fact, this here will be your very first lesson in real life Taijutsu!" yelled the extravagant Super Pervert... before he suddenly disappeared and reappeared behind Naruto. "DODGE!" he yelled, and he brought his fist down, sending Naruto crashing face first to the floor.

Naruto groaned in discontent and discomfort, and raised a single hand with the universal 'fuck you' middle finger raised.

"We'll also need to work on your following orders. Okay, then, here's lesson two... DODGE!"

Three days later, Naruto still wasn't certain the sky wasn't purple and that he hadn't always had his nose crooked that way. Fortunately for him, he healed, and he healed fast. Unfortunately for him, Jiraiya had made use of that fact to drive Naruto to the point that a medic aiding his regeneration wasn't enough to keep up. This ended up with Naruto having to use crutches outside of training, what with his legs' consistency being comparable to Jello and all.

And then he met up with Sasuke. Who was covered in bruises. They both sent each other a pleased little smirk, thinking, in their heads, that at least they weren't as bad as the other.

Later, Naruto went for Ramen, chatted with the Ramen Stall Guy, also known as Ichiraku Teuchi, and the Ramen Stall Guy's Hot Daughter, also known as Ichiraku Ayame, paid them with Jiraiya's money (Jiraiya was actually quite careless with his wallet and Otoha felt that Naruto should have at least a little reward for not crying like a bitch when the alcohol hit the wounds... and to shut him up about just how incredibly illegal her stealing from the hospital's supplies was..).

Then Jiraiya showed up and sat down for one or two bowls of ramen. And to flirt with Ayame.

"You know, I would do the whole 'threatening father' thing," he said, gesturing towards Naruto and Jiraiya, speaking to Ayame as Jiraiya berated Naruto for putting his underwear on backwards, "but they happen to be ninja, and they could probably snap me like a twig," he admitted, frowning.

"Yeah, well, this IS a hidden village. Bad business to pick a fight with a shinobi in one of these, I hear," Ayame retorted, smiling, "besides, Jiraiya-sama is too old for me and I have a feeling that whoever wants to get a piece of Naruto-kun will have a very hard time getting him to notice them." Not that she minded. Not truly. Not really. Naruto was delightfully hilarious to tease the way he was, given that anything approaching subtlety flew all the way over his head. You had to be extremely blunt to get through him.

"No, dammit, I don't care if it helps with calligraphy and sealing, I will not write your porn for you!"

Ayame sighed. Jiraiya was nearly in tears at being denied the editor he desired so much. It didn't help that she knew Jiraiya needed a decent editor badly. "Maybe you should give it a try, Naruto-kun? I'll give you a bowl of free ramen," she offered, wagging her eyebrows.

Jiraiya nearly jumped in joy when Naruto accepted in a heartbeat. "Finally!" Jiraiya yelled. "Someone who won't get distracted every five seconds!"

Naruto cursed the powers of Ramen, that night, because Jiraiya's writing wasn't so much 'chicken scratch filled with all sorts of error' as it was 'WHAT THE HELL AM I READING' levels of bad...

Oh well, lemons to lemonade. At least he could pretend that the smutty parts were actually battles and the people in them were actually grappling. Yeah, that would do well enough...

The sixth day in Naruto's marathon week was perhaps the worst yet. No, it was definitely the worst yet. Not because Jiraiya had forced him to climb the Hokage Monument with only his hands, no chakra and wearing a weighted metallic frame that prevented him from moving his legs under his pants, no, it was because Jiraiya was on a visible river nearby, displaying the physique born from years and years of hard training, as he sat sunbathing and watching the incredibly pretty girls that had chosen to bathe there.

The metal frame was incredibly annoying, and Naruto was starting to want to beat the crap out of Jiraiya with it. The smooth stone of the monument had been carved that way explicitly so it'd be incredibly hard to climb up. In the spirit of fairness, Naruto had been allowed to use lightning chakra to cut through the rock with his fingers and get something he could actually hold onto. Otherwise, it would have been completely impossible to climb it without chakra.

When he'd made it to the top, the Jiraiya clone assigned to him... punched him atop his head. "You should've used the stairs and just walked on your hands. Would've been far easier, you idiot! Don't just follow the spirit of my words, all you have to restrain yourself to is the letter of them! You're a ninja, you're supposed to cheat the rules all the time! That's why we actually make it a point to be as specific as possible when we give out these kinds of tasks and we expect them done a certain way!" Jiraiya yelled, pulling Naruto up, then he sighed. "Well, it's still good exercise, even though you're probably not gonna be able to use your crutches today..."

"On the flipside, at least now I know my arms get tired a lot slower than my legs," admitted Naruto, smiling in a way that only a well and truly exhausted person can smile.

"I was gonna have you train a bit more in lightning jutsu up here, sitting on a Hokage's head. Should get you away from any outside influences to disrupt your concentration while you experiment, and if you blow yourself up, nobody will be hurt," explained Jiraiya, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"I've still got energy to try some lightning manipulation," Naruto said, shrugging. "By the way, last night I figured out how to make lightning appear on both hands, watch!" he suddenly derailed the conversation, bringing his palms together and then expanding them slowly, a single, thicker than usual lightning bolt dancing in between his hands. He slowly pulled them apart, stretching the bolt and making it thinner and thinner. It crackled erratically, almost groaning, and it only stopped when it formed an arc in front of Naruto's chest, while Naruto himself held his hands as far appart as they could be.

"Nice," Jiraiya said, rubbing his chin. "Can you hit stuff with it?" he asked, seeing as the lightning tried to make jerky movements to ground itself, yet failing due to the chakra keeping it in place, even if it couldn't prevent it from making the jerky, incredibly fast movements lightning was known for.

"I haven't tried. Would've destroyed my own apartment," Naruto said, dryly. "But I don't think I can use it like that yet. I got thinking that I can use this to make it into a whip or something. But when I try to make it take solid shape, it just goes out of control and fizzles," and he hadn't even know what the word 'fizzle' meant until he'd looked it up in the dictionary, "so I'm kind of stumped. Most of what I can do just takes too long for it to be effective in battle..."

"Of course it would. This is all incredibly high level stuff, Naruto, that you can only do because of your freakishly strong affinity for lightning," Jiraiya remined Naruto, sitting down next to him, at a safe enough distance that the small bolts of electricity that arced from Naruto's hands weren't in danger of dispelling the clone. "This isn't you learning some random lightning ninjutsu. This is you making things up as you go along. I'd have you wait until Kakashi could teach you some more about Raiton, but you're probably onto something here," continued the perverted clone, seemingly thoughtful.

"Since I don't use a lot of chakra in these sessions, I usually do a lot of lightning manipulation while at home and bored," he said, nonchalantly, "and I've been working on the speed I can make the lightning actually useful in. The palm thing is coming along nicely. Ebisu said that it's probably just practice for me to be able to form it more quickly... I can use it for a lot of things once it's charged, though. Even if it's only a useful attack if I discharge it when it hits, it can cut through rock really easily for some reason," he said, scratching his neck. "I don't think that should work, but it somehow does, and I don't know why."

Jiraiya himself shrugged, continuing to watch as Naruto strained to hold a conversation and the long lightning bolt that connected his hands in place. "It's simple. Just because we call it 'lightning chakra' doesn't mean it is actual lightning. It behaves in a similar way, and has similar properties, but ultimately it comes down to the chakra affecting it in certain ways. Frankly, it's just easier not to question these things and just accept them for what they are: things we can't explain. We let the research and development division figure those things out, usually," he said with a grin on his face.

Naruto huffed as the lightning vanished and his arms dropped, limp, to his sides. "You know, I've been trying to force my chakra to take shape outside my body, but nothing I've tried has worked so far... I think that if I can make my chakra take a certain shape, I could probably control the shape the lightning takes," he said, rubbing his chin in a manner reminiscent of how Jiraiya had done it before.

"It's probably a good start if nothing else. You're familiar with the water-walking exercise, aren't you? Well, the principle is pretty much the same. Push chakra outside but have it remain connected to your body. For instance, this," and then he paused to raise his hand, putting it in front of Naruto's face, waiting for a few seconds until suddenly, a whirling ball of screeching chakra formed, sitting snugly in the palm of Jiraiya's hand, "is the jutsu known as Rasengan. Pure chakra manipulation, and as such, completely impossible for you," he said, frowning slightly for a few seconds. "Point is, the principle behind is very simple: when I form the sphere, you can see that it's still connected to my hand, and only when it is properly complete does it raise above it," said Jiraiya, sagely advice being dispensed in a sagely tone.

"How do you get it to keep its shape after you let it go, though?" Naruto asked, watching the whirling blue sphere with awe and admiration. It did look pretty, even if it was a bit noisy. Nowhere near as noisy as Naruto when he was trying to electrify his arms.

"It maintains its own shape. It spins so fast around its core that it actually holds itself together and becomes self sufficient. It has to do with a whole bunch of laws regarding how Chakra behaves in a vacuum and when suction is applied upon an artificial gravitational pull, and a whole lot of things I have absolutely no idea how to explain to you. It was created by my student, Minato, and it took me three months to learn it. Trust me, it's pretty complicated," spoke the sage, waving his hand indulgently as if to say 'I'll explain to you when you are actually capable of understanding the explanation', before returning to the topic at hand, "I don't know how it'd work with other shapes, but try making spheres first."

"Any tips on that?" asked Naruto, hopefully.

"Yeah... Chakra tends to be drawn to itself. The Rasengan is composed of a few rings of chakra spinning in different directions, all anchored to a central sphere of very tightly compressed chakra. That pulls the rings of chakra together and keeps them in place, while in turn the rings themselves keep the sphere from dissipating. You could create your own version of the Rasengan, if you apply that concept to lightning chakra. Just... bear in mind that it will very likely go boom, so be careful."

Naruto sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I mean it, Naruto. If it looks unstable, cancel it immediately. I got more chakra burns on my hand than I can count from attempting the Rasengan, and I almost lost my right hand any number of times when I fucked up. I'm forbidding you from trying to work on trying to recreate the Rasengan with lightning unless you're under mine or Kakashi's supervision, understood?" ordered the perverted sage, sounding serious and responsible for once, which was actually throwing Naruto for a loop.

"Sure, I guess. I don't see what the big deal of a few burns would be. I'm pretty sure shocking myself won't be a problem," he admitted, grinning widely.

"Playing with lightning as often as you do seems to desensitize a guy," Jiraiya said, grunting in annoyance, "but you can still cause untold amounts of damage and havoc if you screw that up, and I'm not talking the good, funny kind here!"

"Depends on funny for who we're talking about here," Naruto replied with a cheeky grin.

"Stop being such a cheeky brat. Just for that, you'll be walking on your hands all the way down the steps, you cheeky brat!"

"You suck, pervy sage!" Naruto whined.

"Never, brat! I do know a lot of people who do, though," replied cheekily Jiraiya.

Naruto raised one hand and snapped his fingers. Lightning cracked. "One day, I'll figure out how to throw lightning, and when I do, I'm gonna shove a bolt up your ass!" Naruto declared, pointing at Jiraiya.

"First you've gotta become badass enough to throw lightning bolts with your hands, brat," said the man of the duo, rolling his eyes. "Just get back on track already!"

Turns out Kakashi had enough free time to drop by the very moment Jiraiya left, though he himself had an A rank scheduled for two days after Naruto's physical conditioning with Jiraiya was over. Naruto found himself cursing his fast regeneration since it made sure that he wouldn't be given a day's rest, seeing as his muscles didn't actually build up a strain that would make stopping to rest necessary.

"Raiton is... a bitch to manipulate. Trust me, I can use all elements to a certain extent and I can tell you that it's easier to get the other elements to do your bidding. Only fire is similarly hard to manipulate, and even that is easier once you get a flame going. Now, you seem to have the hardest part, generating the actual lightning, down pat, so we'll move on to direct manipulation. I could teach you jutsu, but that would take time I don't have and effort I'm not willing to put into teaching, so I'll fix your mistakes on Raiton and then we'll move on," said Kakashi in the wordiest he'd ever been. It was clear that he was on Briefing Mode, as it was as close to Teacher Mode as Kakashi could manage, and even then he sounded lazy with the drawl he used. Clearly, Kakashi was a master at irritating people.

"How do I shoot lightning?" asked Naruto, raising an eyebrow.

"That's easy. You don't. Lightning doesn't work that way. While you can control it when it's close to your body by affecting it with chakra, it's impossible to control past a certain distance," explained Kakashi, smiling. "The difficult part is figuring out how to control your chakra so that the lightning follows."

"You lost me," Naruto admitted, grinning like a moron and scratching the back of his neck in a carefree gesture.

Kakashi sighed in annoyance. "You need to control your chakra, not try to control the lightning through the chakra, and get the lightning to follow you along. For example, the lightning palm thing takes as long as it does because you're forming the lightning instead of letting the lightning form on its own around your chakra. Your Raiton affinity, from what I've seen, is just so ludicrous that you shouldn't even have to put in any effort at this," explained the jounin.

"But it doesn't work like that! If I just gather chakra somewhere without telling it what to do, it just disperses!" said the blond, pouting at Kakashi.

The silver haired jounin raised one of his eyebrows... the only one visible. Then he put a hand on his headband and lifted it, revealing a strange red eye with three tomoe around the pupil. Naruto recognized it as the Sharingan, since even though he hadn't been paying attention when the academy gave the lecture, he'd pissed off enough Uchiha over the ages to have seen it plenty.

"Do it," ordered the silver haired man.

Naruto sighed and gathered his chakra on his hand. Without telling it to stay in his hand and rub against itself to generate a charge, it dispelled as soon as it gathered, leaving Naruto with the vague awareness that his chakra had coursed the tips of his fingers.

Kakashi seemed enthralled by what he observed. "Do it again," he commanded.

And so Naruto did. Thrice more, Kakashi ordered him to repeat it, until Naruto just snapped and told him to get on with it.

"Well, Naruto, I can tell you that we were wrong about your affinity. It's not as big as we thought it was," said Kakashi, nodding to himself and getting Naruto to look at him weirdly as he did.

"Does that mean I can do other jutsu besides lightning?" asked the young boy, hope evident in his tone and face, which gave Kakashi a great thrill. He loved crushing young genin hopefuls' wills.

"Nope. It's even bigger than we thought it was. Naruto, you're making your chakra vibrate before you try to use it for anything, right?" asked Kakashi.

"Yeah, that's worked to make lightning so far," spoke Naruto, sounding suspicious. "What about it?"

"Stop doing it. Try making your chakra travel from the palm of one of your hands to the other one," spoke Kakashi, looking at Naruto's hands.

Shrugging, the genin put his palms facing each other and ran his chakra in between the gap. It zipped by as a bluish, slow bolt of lightning that crackled lazily across the air. "Holy crap it worked!" Naruto yelled, surprised.

"Of course it did. Now make it move faster," said Kakashi.

It took several attempts until Naruto was able to speed it up on a noticeable level. Even then, the speed was relatively slow. "You need to practice that. Try aiming at me now," Kakashi said, his voice dripping with barely hidden glee.

The blond boy merely shrugged. "Okay, here I go..." muttered Naruto, pointing a finger at Kakashi and willing his chakra out as hard as he could. A thin bolt of lightning zipped the distance between Naruto and Kakashi in a milisecond, striking Kakashi in the stomach and getting a very unenthusiastic 'Ow' out of the jounin.

"Well, I think it's slow when you're doing it between your hands because you have so much of it that it... well I won't bother explaining how chakra pressure works since you wouldn't get it anyway," Kakashi said, shrugging. "I had to spend months training myself before I could manipulate lightning half as well as you can naturally. All that's left is simply a lot of practice to get the power behind it to increase. Try concentrating your chakra on a shape now," spoke Kakashi, arms crossed.

Remembering the Rasengan, Naruto frowned. He hadn't made the slightest breakthrough with it because the ball of lightning he formed would explode very quickly. It didn't harm him, but it had burned off the front of his jacket and his right sleeve. As well as his eyebrows and part of his hair, but those had grown back in as short a time as it took for most of his wounds to heal.

He'd thought that it was still useful as a surprise attack, not to be used if he was carrying anything important on his person.

Now, however, Kakashi had just reduced the power behind his lightning immensely, but also increased his ability to control it. Deciding to start with something relatively simple, Naruto formed an axe. And by that, I mean he forced his chakra into the form of an oversized broad axe. He only managed to make the edge appear, but that's what he'd been putting most of his effort into anyway. He didn't need a handle to move it, as it was still his chakra and he could still control it by the stream that was connected to his body.

Kakashi nodded appreciatively, and the slip of focus Naruto took to notice that much caused the axe to fizzle into nothingness. Naruto felt slightly drained now, and he realized that the axe thing was ridiculously chakra intensive, if also ridiculously cool. Definitely a big time move, then.

Kakashi rubbed his chin and looked around. The flattened grass below him gave him an idea, and he began blazing through handseals, spurred on by his Sharingan's perfect recall of the necessary movements. "Naruto, jump back," Kakashi commanded somewhat urgently.

The blond complied, and as soon as he did, Kakashi slammed his hand against the ground, ending the string of handseals and allowing a large spike of raised stone spear through the ground, leaving a large stalagmite where Naruto had been standing.

"What the fuck!? That could have killed me!" screamed Naruto, somewhat frightened by the huge spike.

"Maa, I gave you plenty of forewarning, didn't I?" said the silver haired jounin, giving Naruto a two-eyed eye-smile before covering his Sharingan. "Don't tell anyone, but the Sharingan's copying ability is so perfect that I use the technique the exact same way it was used on me, which means I can't vary the power behind it or alter it in the least. I don't actually know that technique's name or how to actually use it, but my Sharingan does, and so I can use it," said Kakashi, rubbing the leaf symbol on his eyepatch forehead protector. "I actually needed to use the technique on a target because that's how it was used on me."

Naruto glared at him. "I don't buy it," he said. "Besides, doesn't that mean you could copy anything I do with my chakra?"

"In theory? Yes. In practice? Eh, that's a lot harder than it sounds. Everyone's chakra is a little different, and yours is very much so, which means copying chakra behavior is nigh-impossible. The handseals manipulate chakra in a very specific way that happens exactly the same way no matter who does it. A Sharingan can copy techniques without handseals, but without the training to make your chakra behave in the specific way necessary for that technique to work, it's not going to work. But we're on a tangent here, and we need to get back to your training," finished Kakashi, clearly smiling under his mask.

"You could've just said 'No I can't", and I would've been happy," Naruto said, looking cross eyed at the complex explanation.

"I forget I'm dealing with a moron here. Why did I agree to help you again?" asked Kakashi, raising an eyebrow.

"Because you want 'Trained the Hokage' on your curriculum?" asked Naruto, cheekily.

"Nah. I think it was because I'm gonna have a lot of fun watching you make everyone's life hell by breaking the laws of physics," said Kakashi, with an eye smile on his face.

Naruto laughed, even though he didn't understand the joke.

And he didn't up until Kakashi made him demonstrate his abilites for the Research and development division. Of course, that same day, Naruto learned that he was actually famous amongst them as an anomaly, and he even had several supporters on his bid for the Hokage's hat in between them. All in all, Naruto ended his session with Kakashi being genuinelly happy about his lot in life for the first time. Though he could've done without all the annoying people fawning over his cuteness as he demolished their precepts...