"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend." - Sarah Dessen
It's weird - the bond we share, the hide-and-seek game we play, the fact that we don't know what we are to each other, and yet there is a yearning, a fire, an attachment. You're fire and I'm ice, painted in blue & bronze, instead of green & silver, while you wear your yellow & black chains like scars, instead of the expected - wanted - scarlet & gold.
We meet after months - or rather, we avoid each for months.
"I should owl her," you think, but the owl never leaves.
"I think I should contact him," I wonder, but I never do.
At least, not instantly, not right away, never in first thought.
You ponder for days, I miss you for weeks, and then your owl finally arrives and my reply finally reaches you.
How are you, Roxy?
I miss you.
I'm good - How are you?
When are you coming back?
There are a million other questions I want to ask but I don't.
Sometimes, I ignore you - give you a little attitude for not owling me before, for not talking to me for such a long time. Sometimes, you give me a little piece of my own medicine, too.
I'm in London.
I thought we were going to meet?
Will you reply, at least?
Sometimes, our conversation goes on for months. I get a Muggle mobile fone, or cellfone or whatever they call it; you set up the Floo Network.
"Hey!" you exclaim, stepping out of the fire and pulling me into a heart-warming embrace.
I hug you back, not wanting to let you go, not now, not ever.
"There is so much I want to tell you, Teddy - Neil took me around on his Muggle motorbike, oh my god, it was so much fun! The feeling of wind, the exhilaration - and I met this guy in the club, Rahul, and we started talking, and guess what? His mother was Uncle Ron's classmate-"
I chatter and you laugh - it's a masculine sound, rather like your aroma, and it makes me smile.
"Teddy?" I ask as I lounge on your couch.
"Yeah?" you reply, your eyes still roaming over your model building.
"Why is life so complicated?" I always ask you strange questions, even though you never have any answers.
"What happened, Roxy?" You look up and, before I can blink, you're at my side, holding me close. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's okay; it's just that, sometimes, I don't understand life. Every time I try to run away from Lorcan, he chases after me. Every time I give in, he leaves me alone, again. I hook up, I break hearts, yet I feel I'm breaking from inside-" I'm close to crying now and you put your arms around me, soothing my hair, begging me to be strong, because I'll eventually overcome my problems and be happy again, soon.
The closeness goes on for months and months, until I finding myself falling for you, again, and then, wham!
We're apart, again.
"Roxanne, I asked Jenny out," you tell me, and though I can feel my heart breaking, shattering, I stay still, quiet for a few seconds, minutes before running to congratulate, happiness radiating off me.
"That's great, Teddy! Who is Jenny, by the way?"
It turns out to be a lie, like everything else you told me, as I discover months later.
"Why did you lie to me?" I ask you, refusing to talk any further until I get my answer.
"I was joking," you lie again, smiling, and I raise my eyebrow, not even bothering to reply.
"You told me you still like Lorcan," you whine like a child, truth finally escaping your lips.
"So, I didn't like it - C'mon, I'm sorry. I have already apologized, Roxanne - please forgive me?"
"No. You do this every time, Teddy. I just can't trust you," I tell you, before walking off.
I can't trust you - it's the honest truth and the biggest problem in our friendship. You think you can get away with anything, with your kind smiles and cool tricks, but you can't - not every time, not this time.
"I like you," you tell me, once, twice, thrice after another period of closeness, breathing down each other's throat for months, becoming friends, again.
"I don't - I, I still like - still have feelings for Xalenous," I tell you, my lips quivering as truth leaves my mouth and your heart shatters, little by little, piece by piece until you laugh, loudly, and exclaim that you were just joking, like always.
(I never know when you're serious, anymore.)
"I was just joking, Roxy! Hahahahaha!" you laugh, and I don't even know if it's real or not, not anymore.
The distrust takes us further apart, the distance increasing, the smiles decreasing, and slowly we lose the connection, again.
But it's not the end, it never is.
Our relationship, it's never ending, like a ring which has no beginning and no end.
You contact me months later, again, after you break up with Victoire.
I'm still dating Neil, but it doesn't matter. The attraction is still there, stronger then ever, and, suddenly, I don't know what to do anymore.
Every time you pull me close, my heart flutters. Every time you flirt with me, I blush. Every time you lean in, I want to feel your lips on mine, melting, disappearing, making me feel whole - again.
You have kissed me, before - we dated, for a while, back in Hogwarts, when everything was bright and airy and perfect.
I would draw on your uniform, you would laugh at my jokes, we would kiss in the cupboards, play in the snow, sneak into Hogsmeade, and everything was perfect, the way it was always supposed to be.
It didn't last, obviously.
Reality came crashing in, when you graduated and moved on to greener pastures, like Victoire, Dominique, and numerous other girls.
I dumped you first, though - I was too scared, too insecure, we were fighting too much, and I missed us - the real us, the laughing us, and the fighting us was nowhere close to it.
Yet, you came back. Every time, you came back, with a hand forward, asking for friendship.
Sometimes, I came back, too.
I don't know why.
I don't know why we always run into each other, again. Build up hope, again. Crush the hope, again.
I don't know.
This is inspired by my own story and yeah, if you have advice for it, feel free to pm me. So, really the first person I would want to thank for the inspiration is my "Teddy,", if I ever make him read this. I would also like to thank mew for her patience and beta work.This was written for the Quidditch League Competition, Prompts oh Prompts thread, All Sorts of Love Competition (Category: Het) and the Greenhouse Competition (Category: Alyssum)
Main Prompt: Write a non-linear love story; one of your characters must be a Hufflepuff.
Other Prompts: Blue, Wonder, Quote