Title: Miyuki-Chan in Green Drug Land

Author: Sybil Rowan

Pairing(s)/Characters: Just the usual stuff from Legal Drug and Miyuki-chan, Watanuki is in the background.

Rating: M

Summary: Miyuki-chan gets sent by Watanuki to the Green Drug to get an after school job, but Kakei and company are supposed to teach her more than how to stock shelves.

Warnings: Some sexual situations, it is a Miyuki-chan fic after all.

Author's Notes: This is inspired by my husband and his latest fan fic project.

Disclaimer: Legal Drug, Miyuki-chan in Wonderland, and xxxHolic names and characters, belong to CLAMP.

Beta Reader: WingedPanther73

Date: July 28, 2013, 4:30 PM

Word Count: 2,072

"So you're interviewing for a new employee?" Kazahaya asked, bowing up like a demented tom cat that had just spotted an interloper. "You won't be cutting my hours, will you?"

Kakei smiled warmly. "I have more lucrative side work for you and Rikuo. She'll be filling in so you can do more side work. You do want more side work, don't you?"

"Yes, sir, I want more side work because it does pay more, but I don't want to lose hours here, too!" Kazahaya's hands clenched in front of his chest. "I need the money."

Rikuo poked his head out from the family planning aisle and said, "Quit your whining. You can't be in two places at once."

"Mind your own business, asshole!" Kazahaya shouted and waved a fist towards Rikuo's nose.

"It's my business when you wormed out of stocking this aisle because you're such a prude."

"Now, boys, be on your best behavior when Miyuki-chan comes in for her interview. The Dimensional Wizard recommended her. It seems she lost her previous job because of an unfortunate condition that causes her to be late. He assures me that her condition will not be a problem working for the Green Drug."

"Does Watanuki-san have a job? Jobs from his wish shop always pay so well. Please say he has something," Kazahaya pleaded.

Rikuo rolled his eyes and shook his head. "The last time you took a job from the wish shop your hair almost got burn off."

"Well you, should have showed up on time!" Kazahaya said with a sneer and then hissed cattily.

The bell for the front door rang. In sauntered Saiga. As he passed Kazahaya, he gave the teen a firm smack on the rump and said, "You look all flustered, kid. You let Rikuo get you all hot and bothered again? You should demand some satisfaction from that cool cucumber."

Rikuo let out a disgruntled huff of air and went back to stocking the condoms and lubricant that Kazahaya refused to touch from embarrassment.

Kazahaya's face turned bright red as he rubbed his backside to mitigate the sting from Saiga's hand. "Saiga-san! Don't do that!"

"All in good fun, kid," Saiga said. He then threw his arm around Kakei's neck and nuzzled his lover's ear. "So what's this you wanted me to help you with?"

Kakei caressed Saiga's face and nodded. "Yes, I wanted you to help interview the girl I want to hire as a new part-timer. Watanuki-san recommended her."

"Watanuki-san? Wow! What is she? Some fairy? Demon? Ghost? Not another vampire?" Saiga asked, looking leery.

"No, just a girl with a, how shall I put it, an active fantasy life. She needs a job where she can't be threatened by her active imagination," Kakei said. He then gave a slight chuckle that betrayed his devious side. "And here, well, she won't have the problem the Dimensional Wizard described."

"Hun?" Kazahaya asked.

"That reminds me, Kazahaya-kun. You are never to touch her or take anything directly from her hands," Kakei insisted with a gentle, concerned expression.

Gales of harsh, sarcastic laugher came from the family planning aisle. Rikuo's voice called out, "Him touch a girl? That's rich. I don't even think he touches himself."

"I touch myself plenty, you jerk! Wait a minute..." Kazahaya blushed furiously when Saiga whistled.

"You shouldn't waste all that energy on yourself, kid," Saiga said. Kazahaya looked as if he wanted to melt into the floor and die. Rikuo was now letting out more vicious chuckles.

"You son-of-a...!" Kazahaya screamed right before launching himself into the aisle Rikuo was restocking. The bell rang again and they all paused and looked to the front door where the young girl in the school uniform stood. She was obviously nervous as she glanced around the store. There was such an innocent look in those large, cerulean eyes.

She walked over to Kakei and asked, "Are you the pharmacist Kakei-san?"

"Yes, my dear. You must be Miyuki-chan. It's a pleasure to meet you. Watanuki has told me so much about you." To which, the girl's face turned fuchsia, and she started giggling nervously. "Don't worry, he only told me what was necessary. Why don't you join me in the back for your interview. Boys, I think the magazines need organizing and the new shipment of toothpaste came in."

Rikuo said, "Yeah, get to that toothpaste, Kazahaya."

"You idiot! I wanted to do the magazines!" the boy with lighter hair howled in indignity.

"I'm pulling seniority," Rikuo said and plodded off to the magazine racks as Kazahaya fumed, stomping off to the stockroom.

Kakei gave Miyuki-chan the most charming, warm smile and said, "Ignore them. You could say, there is some unrequited tension between them. Shall we go to my office? This is Saiga-san, by the way, he'll be sitting in on our interview."

"Yes, sir," she said, with a more relaxed expression.


She went sobbing to Watanuki-san about losing her job at the diner. Yes, she worked for him, no, more like she was his indentured servant, but she also worked at a great diner. She was hoping to get rid of her female tormentors by working for Watanuki-san as a second job, but that was a whole different story. He put her through the ringer most days, but she'd do anything to get rid of those horny women intent on groping her and taking her virginity.

Unfortunately, how she lost her diner job was that her problem manifested itself and several busty diner waitresses wanted to tear her clothes off. She'd thought she'd hit her head on the door, but it was one of those endless loops where she was continuously molested until her alarm clock hit 7:31 and would summon her from sleep.

This time she had managed to hide under the strange boxing ring, but, of course, she was prowled after and made nearly naked by another waitress. She ended up fired from her diner job, because, in fact, she couldn't break free of the loop in time and was late in real life.

She went to Watanuki-san in tears, and he only sighed and shook his head. He said, "You aren't listening to me and doing what I recommended. I guess I'll have to find you a second job where you can make it on time. I know just the place." With that, he made a call and, before she knew it, she was here, interviewing with with very attractive, androgynous pharmacist.

Kakei sat on the sofa and the man with sunglasses sat on the arm of the sofa, resting his arm around Kakei's shoulders. Miyuki-chan found it endearing to see such close friends. She hoped to find a close friend, too, but not one that kept pushing their hands up her skirt all the time, or pinching her nipples; that was the worst.

"So, Miyuki-chan dear, let's put aside your condition that Watanuki has made me aware of. Why don't you tell me about your customer service skills."

She brightened and nodded. "I believe whole heartedly that the customer comes first, and that I should do anything to please the customer." She heard the words leave her mouth and blushed furiously, sensitive to her plight. "No... I mean that... uh... I should do anything to satisfy the customer... no... I mean... well I should do anything the customer ask me to do... no... that isn't right either!"

Kakei gave a soft chuckle, but it didn't make her feel self conscious. He patted her on the hand and said, "It's okay if you're nervous. I understand. Okay, how about stocking shelves and doing inventory of the merchandise."

"I firmly believe in putting every thing out there for the customers to see, and at least putting my hands on the most sought after products at least daily." Miyuki-chan felt her face get beat red and she clamped her hand over her mouth. Again, she was keenly aware this man knew her plight, and what just tumbled from her mouth made her sound like such an improper girl.

Saiga snickered, which made her very self conscious. Kakei gave him a mildly annoyed glance over the top of his eyeglasses and then Saiga said, "Sorry about that."

"We're kind of informal around here. We need you to fill in when the boys are doing some of my side jobs. I assume the Dimensional Wizard told you about the nature of our shop? It's very similar to the wish shop, only you won't be doing any of those side jobs, just waiting on customers for the drug store side."

"I will be performing for you and your other employees in a different way from how I preform for Watanuki and the girls. Oh no! I did it again!" Her face grew hotter.

"Well then, it would seem that you really do need a job at the Green Drug. Here, you won't have the problems you face in the dark of night, alone, in your bed," Kakei said with a twinkle in his eye that indicated he had a mischievous side and totally knew more about Miyuki-chan's problem than what she wanted him to know. "After all, at the Green Drug we believe in a lot of recreational activity to eliminate stress. Whether it be solitary activity, or pairing up for some healthy stimulation. However, the Dimensional Wizard seems to think we can teach you how solitary recreational activity can be beneficial to your health and very pleasurable."

Saiga snickered and gave Kakei's shoulders a rub. "Yeah, but I like pairing up for my recreational activities around here."

Kakei gave him a gentle, yet firm, chiding look over the top of glasses, but Miyuki-chan couldn't interpret everything in the men's body language towards one another. It was something akin to how her tormentors gazed at her half naked body. She shuddered remembering the Red Queen in Wonderland.

Watanuki's words came to her and angered her again. He insisted that she invited that woman to put her hand between her legs. She felt her face getting hot and her thighs tingling at remembering how the woman whipped her until almost making her compliant. Fortunately, her alarm clock at went off at 7:31 before things got really risqué.

Kakei said, "But normally those activities are limited to after working hours. You understand Miyuki-chan?"

"Yes, sir," she said, but really had no clue what the man was referring to. Maybe they had a softball team and she could get in on some sports. That would be fun.

Kakei did give her the most charming smile. "Of course, I like to give overtime where you can learn about recreational activities. So do you think you'd be agreeable to learning new things? To stay after work and acquire extra information? After all, that was the whole reason the Dimensional Wizard sent you, so you could learn one particular, new skill set."

Miyuki-chan was totally baffled about what Watanuki-san wanted her to learn, but she did need the second job, because she so wanted to earn the money for her new video game system, and Watanuki didn't pay in cash. She had to buy a new video game system because hers broke as she was trying to get away from the women trying to pull her back into it. "I'm willing to learn anything you want to teach me. I trust you'll be a good teacher."

Kakei only sighed. "Let's hope so. You're hired. You start on Monday after school."

Before she happily left his office Kakei said, "Miyuki-chan, by the way, we play mah-jongg every payday." He looked over at her over the top of his eyeglasses, and an insidious gleam appeared for half a moment. He then adopted his kindly persona again and it put Miyuki-chan at ease. "And we play for keeps around here. I think you'll make a great partner for Kazahaya."

"Oh... I'm not terribly fond of mah-jongg." She remembered her strip mah-jongg partners and didn't want to end up in that situation again.

"Yes, but I think the version I'll come up with will decrease most of the problems you have that Watanuki told me about." He gave her such a warm smile and said, "I promise, if you trust me, I'll help alleviate your burden."

She nodded, uncertain, and fled quickly. Joy filled her heart that she had another job, and Watanuki had promised her she would not be touched by the men that worked at this shop. Peace and quite. Little did she know...


After she left the store, Saiga turned to Kakei and whistled. "Wow, is she a stuttering cluster of hormones or what?"

"That's why Watanuki sent her to us. He wants us to help her learn how to masturbate so that she doesn't have such a build up of her power. If she can wear herself out, then she won't dimension hop and cause trouble by ripping apart space and time."

"What? He sent a girl to four gay guys to learn how to masturbate? You've got to be kidding me?"

"You see, she needs to find release, and she's too uptight in situations where she could be the romantic interest. Here, when she realizes we aren't interest in her, she'll relax and listen to direction from us like a good girl."

"Are you sure she'll take directions on how to pleasure herself when we explain it?"

"Oh yes, I've foreseen it. I've already order some of the stock that will peak her interest," Kakei said, pushing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose, hiding the wicked gleam in his eyes.

End? Maybe...

A/N: I don't know if I'll continue with this or not. It depends on my mood, but I would like to. I'll just leave it at saying "Never Ending."