So this story is pretty much just…anger and resent. And sex. Basically, it's Sam and Freddie showing each other what every seddier wish happened before there was such a thing as Sam & Cat. I miss iCarly dearly, but I'll admit I haven't watch it since it ended. I highly doubt any of us has. But for some odd reason, I caught myself reading seddie fics again over the last few weeks and god, I still fucking love them so much.

This has a plot, but again sort of, not really. It's mostly, like I said, me venting. I hope you enjoy. Also, I wasn't sure if I should've posted this in the iCarly category orSam&Cat. Please let me know if I should post this in Sam and Cat instead.

Title: How Far we've Come

Rated: M (smut)

Pairing: Sam and Freddie

Black had met blue.

"Do something for me?" She was always so sweet and caring. Her soft, velvety voice catching Sam off guard from the comfortable silence that had overcome them.

Sam's eyes were blinded by tears as she nodded, "Of course, Carls. Anything." her voice dripping with sincerity.

"Tell him I'm sorry," she looks down and Sam frowns, "I know you love him, and he means so much to you..." her eyes drifted to inside the car before sitting down in her seat with a sigh, "please." and just like that she was gone and Sam watched as she drove away, not knowing when she'll ever see her again or what exactly just happened.

Sam's face was more of confused than anything, but deep down she knew, she'd somehow been betrayed. Why else would Carly bring up them? Sam automatically thought the worst, and memories of her and Freddie from months before began filling her mind. He was always hers. She was almost certain he'd always be.

"I promise."

She stood in front of his apartment door, scared. If Carly meant what she had said, those few insignificant, but yet somehow giving, words, it could only mean one thing. He'd done something with Carly.

They did something together and it was while he still held Sam's heart on his sleeve. She wouldn't dare let herself think or imagine what it was they both did together. And to think just six years ago, she wouldn't even care about what he did with Carly because it wouldn't mean anything. But things have changed so much since then, and just the slightest thought of them holding hands made her heart crumble.

He was hers.

She knocked and it hadn't even been ten seconds before the door swung open with a flushed Mrs. Benson standing in front of her. Sam smiled slightly and asked, "Is Freddie home?" she noticed Marissa's attire and beamed inside. Scrubs. perfect.

Mrs. Benson's eyes widen but she quickly recovered with a clear of her throat. Just minutes before she'd seen her own son walk in, tears coming down his face. Carly's gone, he'd said. She'd think it'd be hours, maybe days, before she would see Sam again.

"Uh, yes. Of course, Samantha." she moved aside letting Sam in. Marissa's insides burned as Sam carelessly threw her coat over one of the chairs sitting on the side. Sam cleared her throat and played with the outline of her jeans, pulling it slightly down revealing the band on the boy shorts. Marissa's eyes came up with their own conclusions as she continued watching her fingers, terrified.

Sam bit her lip and raised up her shirt a bit, feeling flushed. She wasn't sure what was happening to her, she'd never felt like this before. She just needed to see Freddie, now. Marissa refused to think about what this eighteen year old girl in front of him was planning to do with her son in her home.

"Is he home?" Her determined, yet emotionless, voice asked- breaking the silence.

Freddie's mom's mouth was still agape, watching as Sam played with the button of her jeans. She knew Freddie was no longer a virgin. She'd seen glimpse of a video, months before, that one of the surveillance cameras had captured of them devouring each other just feet away from them before she turned it off in utter disgust.

"Yes." she noticed Sam's waiting eyes and quickly shook her head, realizing she was obviously starring for longer than she intended to. Sam smirked. Marissa looked up at her and slowly walked up to her, staring down into the eyes of what she always thought would be her future daughter-in-law one day, as much as she'd hate to admit it, "Samantha." Sam stared at her as she spoke, "My son's innocence is the only thing I have left of him since you completely turned his life around. If you plan on taking that away from him and me, I strongly consider you think this through. Sex isn't the answer to everything. I know you two aren't together anymore, but I know the tension is still there. I'm not stupid." Sam's eyes narrowed and took a step back before crossing her arms. She obviously didn't know so much about her son as she thought.

Mrs. Benson leaned over and grabbed her bag off the dinning room table, slightly hitting Sam with it, causing her to tip over about an inch. Sam's nostrils flared, watching Marissa walk towards her front door.

"You honestly can't still believe your son is a virgin." her voice was menacing, her mouth smirking. Mrs. Benson's hand tightened around the doorknob, flashes of that video flickering through her mind. How her sweet little innocent boy moaned Sam's name. Hurt ringed in her heart, "You really can't believe he's never…touched a girl, right? Touch her, feel her."

Marissa swallowed hard, watching her words carefully. Being careful not the bring up how her mother, Pam, raised her to be such a sex driven girl. How her mother taught her to talk to others who were much older than her. "I suggest you watch what you say around me, Samantha. What happened between you and Freddie is only so much of my business. But I promise you, if you go up there right now and do what I think you're about to do…do not make me regret accepting you into this family." Sam was silent. "My son cares about you very deeply, Sam."

Sam rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Benson turned around once more to look at Sam and eyed her up and down, "Goodnight."

When the door slammed closed behind her, Sam let out an exasperated sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. She made her way towards the stairs and stood in front of Freddie's room which was the first door on the right. She was going to do this. She reached down and slowly undid the button of her jeans.

What she wasn't expecting was for the door in front of her to open and for him to be in front of her, his eyes wandering from her face down to her small fingers at the front of her pants. His mouth was agape and he was at lost for words. She couldn't be, he thought.

Her mouth was open as well, shocked at her own boldness. Something overcame her, like strong will, and she licked her bottom lip and bit down on it softly before slowly pulling down her zipper…she noticed his shallow breathing and reached forward and grabbed one of his hands with her other. She watched his face and it was then that she noticed the tear stains all over his cheeks. She slid his hand into the front of the opening of her jeans. As soon as his hand met her, he tightly closed his eyes and she walked him backwards into his room. She reached back with one of her arms and closed the door behind them.

He sniffed, another tear on the brim of his eyes. She leaned back against the doors and slid his pointed finger inside of her boy shorts. His moth opened again when he felt her warm slit against his finger, slowly tracing her soft lips. She threw her head back against the door when she felt him slowly rub her clit. She felt him move up a bit and she looked straight at him, her breathing deep and low.

He leaned his head against the door and looked straight down at her, watching as her mouth kept opening and her eyes closed. Her right hand flew in front of her and she pressed his hand closer to her center, if even possible, she thought to herself.. It was his cue to stick the rest of his fingers down and he quickly cupped her, rubbing her up and down and side to side.

"Fuuuuck." she groaned, her face still tilted up towards his. She began furiously humping herself up against his hand when he stopped moving his hand in sync. Her eyes opened and she saw his narrowed, lust filled eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bitterly. She didn't want to talk, that was the last thing she wanted. She forced his hand to start moving again but he stopped her by putting his other hand at her hip, holding her still, "Is it because our lives are finally coming apart or are you just horny?" this was the side of him that nobody except her knew. That fire in his eyes, the sexual frustration against his lips.

He slid his middle finger inside her and slowly started pumping, "Or is it both?" he softly kissed her forehead as he increased his speed, making her moan. She was struggling to feel more of his touch, she was trying so desperately with her other hand to help herself pull down her pants while he touched her, making it better access for him. While desperately thrusting herself up against him, she felt his hardness brush against the inside of her thigh and he moaned against her neck

He pulled his hand out of her pants and backed away towards his bed. She watched him, flushed, as his hands made work of his belt. She was dazed, her head was swirling. They each stripped in front of the other, her body thrumming up against the door, the way she threw her bra as it fell next to his boxers on the ground.

"I fucking want you so bad." her back arched up from the door as she played with herself, minutes after they were both stripped down..

His eyes watched her as he roughly stroked himself, "Yeah?" her eyes kept watching his own hands as he worked his shaft and she couldn't take it anymore.

He'd waited for too long to finally decide to show up at her little apartment in LA. From what he heard, she runs a little babysitting company now. And from a help of a friend, this right here, the door he was standing in front of, was apparently her door.

Her back was sprawled up against his Nug Nug sheets, her fingers clawing at the bedding. Her arms tightened around his neck as he slid into her.

"You're so tight, baby."

He knocked twice before red head opened the door. At first she was surprised, her eyes huge and in shock, but then she started giggling uncontrollably.

Freddie smiled at her, she giggled more, covering her mouth. Freddie was going to introduce himself when he heard a tiny voice.

"He's cute." A little girl said while standing right next to her. Freddie looked down at the little girl and then back at the red head and smiled.

"Oh, God." He moaned. He leaned himself forward and plotted his forearms next to her head. Their eyes met and he left a sloppy wet kiss on her lips. She moaned in his mouth and grabbed the back of his head, forcing him unbelievably closer to her. He moved over her and she swears she's never felt so loved than at that very moment. She lifts her hips off the bed and thrusts herself up against him, making his eyes close tightly and causing a very audible grunt to escape his lips. She continues doing this, feeling his searing rod harden even more if possible.

The next time she thrusts up, her fingers run through his dark strands, "Don't stop." He pleases, his voice weak. He smells the vanilla wafting off her body and he feels like he's drowning in her.

He growls, "So, so good, baby." reaches down and pulls himself out of her before teasing her silky pink lips with the tip of his cock. He buries himself insider her again, roughly, like how it used to be just months before.

He's starring down at her, the sound of their hips hitting each other echoing throughout the room. He notices her breathing start to pick up and he puts his arms up on the bed frame above them.

She's looking up at him, feeling small and fragile by his dominant action.

"You can sit here, and I'll get her." Cat motions him towards the couch and he sits down.

"Thanks." he smiles.

He plays with his fingers and tries once again to wipe off the sweat on his jeans. He doesn't think he's ever been so nervous in his life.

"You okay?" the little voice says next to him. He looks over at the little girl and smiles.

"I hope so…"

They're quiet for a few minutes before she speaks up again, "I hope so, too." He looks over at her and smiles.

"So…how are Sam and Cat as babysitters? They don't annoy you do they?" he chuckles.

"Well…mom's really nice." he raises an eyebrow.

His eyes are pleading. Sweat is dripping down his gorgeous face, and she realizes what he wants her to do. His eyes are staring into hers and he practically hears them scream at him. She grunts when he thrusts in one more time, hard. His body stands still as her tiny hand glides down his toned chest, past his navel, and past the little hairs.

He pulls out of her and she wraps her hand around his cock and he starts shouting almost immediately.

Her thumb runs over his tip and he growls, almost hitting his head against the headboard as it falls down between his raised arms, "Yeah…"

His own hand goes to her core and he's circling that little hard nub with his thumb. She tosses her head back against the pillow, "Fuck."

"So I'm assuming your mom doesn't mind having two young crazy girls as her babysitters, huh?" the little girl blinks slowly at the question and gets off the couch. Freddie watches her confusingly as she goes off into the kitchen.

Freddie gets a weird feeling in his gut. He's looking at the girl in such fascination. The tiny girl, who cant be more than three, grabs a bag of chips and then runs back over to the living room. She watches Freddie's face and starts laughing, "You're weird."

His lips twitch but then he gets serious again, "Uhm. Sam and Cat are your babysitters right?

The girl puts a chip in her mouth and starts talking, little pieces of the chips flying off her lip, "Well Cat is, I love Cat she funny. And I guess mommy's my baby sitter. I dunno. But she's more of just my momma ya know?" She shrugs and puts more chips in her mouth.

Freddie is looking at her in shock and swallows really hard, "Sam's your mom?" the little girl nods.

He can't take it anymore. He drops his hand down to his member and gives himself a few good tugs. She pulls herself up a little more as he potions himself in front of her heat. The way she feels around him, swallowing him whole, her hands threading into his hair. She pulls on the strands and starts gasping, because he's hitting her right there. She has never seen him so determined to make her cum. The way he asks her if she's going to, if she wants him to make her cum. Her eyes roll back into her head.

His tip brushes that spot with every thrust and his breathing falters for a second, "R-right there." he hits it again and her eyes snap open…

Her legs wrap around his waist, his shaft pumping in and out, her head between the spot where his neck and shoulder meet.

He's moving franticly, the feeling building in him becoming unbearable. He grinds and his hips hit against her thighs every time. He wants to show her how good she's making him feel. She repeats his name over and over again and her back is arching. Her toes curl into the mattress below her, he nails claw his back. He hisses at the pain and pleasure. He doesn't stop pumping and she's clutching around him, her walls constricting.

"Come on…" he's begging as he slams against her so hard. His arms make the bed frame shake, as if it's about to fall off.

She comes violently, screaming, shuddering around him. She drips down his cock and he stares down at the spot where he's stretching her open, "Fuck."

He's biting his lips and he's concentrating on the feeling rushing towards him, and when it does he thrusts two more times before his hips snap and he's screaming out, grunting. Big long spurts spill inside her and it makes her come again.

They're both moaning as his thrusts become slow and gradual and one of her legs slip off him and she's caressing the side of his body, as if it'll somehow calm him down from that earth shattering orgasm.

He's laying on top of her, his face on her chest. He swipes a layer of sweat off her chest and she chuckles. He looks up at her, his eyes glistening, and she feels like she wants to cry. He bites his lip and leans over to kiss her. When he pulls back a tear rolls down her cheek.

He's touching the side of her face, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. She moves away from him, but arranges herself so she's lying next to him, on her stomach. She's watching his face and he's watching hers. Her hands come to lay on the side of his face and he's watching her with so much love in his eyes.

At first he's taken aback but then his eyes soften. "She kissed me." his thumb touches her lips, "I don't kiss her the way I kiss you." he leaves an open mouth kiss on her lips, his mouth drags it's way down her throat and she starts moaning, "I love you."

She doesn't say anything, but he chooses to ignore that.

"Ugh, Cat, I swear! It better be someone important-" her voice cuts off when she sees a familiar brown haired boy standing in her living room. Her eyes drift back and forth from him to the little girl and back yo him.

"Mommy!" the little girl runs over to her Sam and hugs her leg, but Sam's eyes are still on Freddie.

Three years.

"Honey, go with Aunty Cat for a sec." the way he's looking at her makes her stomach boil. She can tell he's angry. Furious.

She walks over the couch when she knows the little girl and Cat is gone and looks straight at him. Like, really looks at him. He still looks the same. Older and more mature, but still those same brown eyes. She runs her hands over her face and groans.

"Freddie, I-"

"Care to explain why-"

"You can't just show up here like this!" she harshly whispers, her eyes drifting towards the hallway for a second.

He understands and his voice lowers as well. He stops and takes a deep breath. It takes a him a few seconds to capture in her beauty. "So where do you want to start?" her eye twitches.

"It's sequential, Freddie."

"You slept with me. I find you gone-"

"Freddie, wait-"

His nose flares and he practically hisses at her, "You have a fucking kid, Sam-" he motions to the dark hallway.

She shushes him and harshly pulls him farther into the kitchen where she knows they won't hear them, "There's a baby in the house, Freddie-" he rolls his eyes.

"Well, excuse fucking me for trying to find out shit from a lying whore-" he catches himself before he says it and smirks evilly, "or, a lying little princess."

She groans into her hands again and pinches the bridge of her nose. She nose it's a play on words, always calling her princess Puckett as they grew up, when she was everything but a princess. He walks around her, circling the island, "What's your problem Freddie?"

He laughs, "You're funny, you know that, Sam?" She turns around and sees his arms propped on top of the counter, looking directly at her. He eyes her up and down and then looks away, "Why'd you do it?"

She silent for a moment, "I don't know."

He laughs again and shakes his head, "You don't know. You don't know?"

"I was scared, okay?"

"You don't get to be scared." She's silent. His voice falters and he looks at her, "You don't get to be scared."

She stares at him and tears fill her eyes. Her voice is sincere. She's older now, much older, and he sees the wisdom in her. She's a woman. A mom.

"What do you want me to say, Freddie? If I say sorry you wont listen." her voice is soft.

"I was so alone. Before Carly left, when you were still ignoring me, after we broke up, I was alone. I was still so madly in love with you and you think it was okay to do what you did."

"This isn't a movie, Sam. It doesn't happen like it does in the movies. Since when is it in your right mind to come over, fuck me, even have a disgusting conversation about it with my mom, and just walk out? Was it just a game to you? Were you seriously that desperate?"

Her eyes shot up at him, "You were desperate weren't you?" his voice had malevolence all over it, "You were so desperate. You just wanted a guy to bend you over and fuck you thoroughly, wasn't it?"

"No." her eyes are burning now.

"No?" He scoffs. "Okay, then flatter me, Sam."

She's shaking. She doesn't even know how to take in his words yet. "Why did your mom tell you that?"

"Because I was crying nonstop." He hangs his head and sighs, "She told me to never go after you. That you're the worst thing that could've happen to me." She looks down and thinks to herself that Mrs. Benson is right, and he shouldn't doubt it for a second, "That no woman in her right mind would ever do that to a man she loves no matter how much he loves her. But I didn't believe her." he shoves his face in his hands and mumbles, "You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I feel like I could go after you for the rest of my life."

They're silent for a few minutes before she breaks it, "but apparently to you I'm just a desperate whore." her tone is dripping with venom.

"I was hurt."

"I didn't want to be gone for as long as I was." his eyes soften. She walks over to the sink and leans herself over it, "I just wanted a week away…for me to think. Just think. Not only about how quickly our lives were changing but because I just experienced the most amazing night with you." She looks out the window, "I came to LA, all was going ok. I met Cat. I wasn't going to break it to her that I was going to be going back home but then that Sunday…" he looks up at her and she looks at him, "And she became one of my closest friends."

"I want to show you something…" she pulls out her phone and shows her a picture of a little baby girl, "that's Emily, she was like two months." she laughs quietly. Freddie takes the phone and looks at the beautiful little girl.

"Isn't that the little girl from before?"

Sam smiles softly and looks at Freddie and then back at the picture, "Yeah, That's her. She's growing up so fast, I can't believe it." she chuckles as if to stop some tears from escaping.

A few minutes pass and Freddie takes in a deep breath, "Sam, I- I know that I came here with the motive of finding out why you did what you did, and wanting to easily accept it and we could both move on and still be together, no matter how hard it was, but-" he takes in another deep breath and hands her her phone back, "this little girl's a part of you. And I don't want to get in the way of that or of her father."

The smallest of smiles come on her face.

"No, Sam, I'm serious. You know, I think it's best for me to just-"


"-forget it anyway and move on. A new guy obviously came into your life. I don't even know what I was thinking. We were kids, we were so stupid. Fuck, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore-"

"Freddie." She says his name louder now. She bites her lips and tries hard to bite a smile as she looks at his eyes, his mouth, his nose, "she's yours."

He stares at her, his mouth still open from his rambling. His eyes are searching hers and he swallows, licks his lips, and bites it. She thinks he's about to leave, that it's his turn now. But instead she sees his eyes aren't angry, instead they're filled with water. He looks away from her face and then back to her phone in her hand. The little blonde haired girl with brown eyes smiling.

Sam watches his face as he continues to examine the picture of the little girl, as if that was the only answer he needed. Sam starts talking.

"It was wrong, I know" she still watches him, "God, we weren't even in a stable relationship at the time. We has just broken up. Everything was falling apart. We were at the worst time in out lives. For a second, I even believed we weren't friends anymore."

He puts the phone slowly back on the table and whispers, "Why'd you come over, why'd you do that with me."

"Because I felt like someone was taking you away from me." This time when he looks back at her she recognizes him. He doesn't have that same demeanor he had when he first walked in. His eyes are soft. He feels like he's hurt her.


Her voice is hoarse, "We were always meant to be. I wouldn't let a single soul get in the way of that, not even my best friend."

"She didn't want to take me away from you Sam. It was a goodbye kiss."

"Was it, are you sure." she puts her hand on his, "I was so sure I lost you to her again that night. I couldn't let that happen."

"Sam…" he rubs the back on her hand with his thumb, "it actually scares me sometimes. No matter what has happened in my life, whether its been the past few years that you were gone or when we were fourteen…I have truly always believed that we were meant to always be together, and it seems like the world knew it too." he feels a tear drop of his right arm and he looks up at her in shock. Sobs rock her body and he quickly gets up, sliding his right hand that was holding hers and runs it through her blonde curls. He holds the side of her face as he watches her cry. The mother of their baby girl, and just that thought makes him want to cry too, "Sam." He brings her forward until both her eyes are tightly wrapped around his shoulders. She's never felt so delicate in her arms.

"I fucked up." She says.

"No no you didn't. Okay, baby. You," he pulls her away and holds her face in his hands. His eyes stare at her lips and he whispers, "I get it, you were pregnant, you were scared. We were only eighteen. But we're older now. We can do it right, now."

She closes the space between them and her lips crash into his in a passionate, slow kiss. His hands grab her hair again and he slides his tongue between her parted lips and a whimper escapes from her mouth. He kisses her softly before pulling away, "Sam, don't cry."

"I'm just wondering what took you so long." she laughs before she kisses him one more time.