A/N: This is the first time that I'm really nervous to post something. I have never written from Charlie's POV before because she is such a great, refreshing character, but a challenge to write. I really want to do her justice, so I put off writing from her POV and stuck with safe. So I really want to thank LilyBolt for giving me the courage to post this. You're awesome, thanks for the bout of confidence! Hope you enjoy, and I really hope I'm in character! And as always, I don't own Supernatural, just borrowing them.
Sam and Dean,
You know, I gotta admit, I read 'em. All God knows how many of them, right from the first one: think it was just called Supernatural or something like that. And I have to admit, I did a lot of laughing at some moments (sorry, you guys are just kind of, well, funny! I mean, Dean Winchester, tough guy extraordinaire, who hums Metallica to stay calm flying! Dude, let's just say you're never gonna let that one down! And Sam, our own Sammy Winchester. Let's just say that (yeah, I know, you're gonna kill me but just can't let this one down!) you're "too precious for this world" sometimes…
Alright, that's enough of that (though a girl's gotta have a little fun sometimes!). Okay, Charlie, focus. Guess I'm more like you, Dean, than you think since I'm making these stupid jokes to try to make me feel better about what I have to do. 'Cause being lambasted by my former boss (who just happened to be a MONSTER! Seriously, how many people can actually testify that their employer was literally something out of a B horror movie on Space?)was a cakewalk compared to what I have to do.
Anyhoo, off topic again…so, all kidding aside, reading about your lives was pretty entertaining, that's for sure. Your reactions to fan fiction, now THAT was priceless. But you know, there was a lot of other stuff in those books too, and a lot of good, really. I know, I know, you're wondering how anything positive could come out of the Supernatural books (other than my laughing at your expense at embarrassing moments, sorry, but you guys did kind of set yourselves up) but reading them, I realized just how strong you both are. You remember, Dean, that one where the Djinn sent you to that alternate universe? Can't remember the name but I think it was about book 34 or something like that. That doesn't matter. What does matter is the fact that you dug yourself out of that world, the life you've always dreamed of, so that you could keep on helping people, total strangers. You weren't even sure of the outcome, but you did it anyway. That's major brownie points, dude. And then there's Swan Song. Sam, you jumped into a freaking pit with the Devil. How many people would even think of doing something like that? Nobody. Zero. Nada.
Guess the point I'm trying to say is that you guys are kinda inspiring when you think of it. I know the people who read those books think it's all bullshit (I mean, giant suicidal teddy bears? Awesome? Yes. Believable? Nope.) but I know the truth. You've both made some pretty major sacrifices and tough decisions and now I have to make one of my own. And I really, REALLY don't want to. I want to stay in that bubble, ignoring my problem and hoping it goes away. Dean, I have to admit, you were right. It is time to move on, let her go. Even though at the time I was thinking how there's a saying about pots and kettles that kinda fits here, just sayin'. But then I kinda thought about it, and I found myself looking at the book where you went to Hell. You know the part where you told Sam that you had to stop being martyrs? Go down swinging and all that? Well, total tear jerker there. Had to dig out the Kleenex. But anyway, it made me think that maybe, just maybe, you had a point. That maybe I should move on. And you know something? Before today, I'd still think you were full of it. Yeah, you don't mind stopping with the martyrdom if you're the one being the martyr. Even now, you're wishing that you were acting all Frodo right about now with the Demon Trials instead of your brother. And yeah, Sam, you're just as bad so don't go giving your brother that "I told you so" look….okay, Charile. Off topic again. Focus, Bradbury.
Well, this is already getting kinda long. Point is, Dean, I was thinking all that stuff before I re-read Swan Song. Cover to cover. And I saw how you let Sam go, let him jump in the pit, even though you really, really didn't want to let him go. And that's how I feel about my mother. I've been hanging on to an illusion for a lot longer than I really should have. It's time I grew up a little, too. So, basically, I just wanted to thank you both: for helping me do something I should have a long time ago. So without further ado, there's something I need to do before I say goodbye to my mother. Gonna totally break the chick flick rule now. I love you both.