Warning: Major spoilers for 3x09 and some serious angst. Do not read past this point until you watch that episode.

Also, um, I feel the necessity to add that I'm not dead. Unlike Oliver. I'll go hide in the A/N at the end of the chapter now.

His last thought is of light.

It all happens way too fast; one moment he is handing the last blow, thinking yes and it ends here –and the next he is kneeling on the snow, his mind screaming at him to get up. Except that he can't get up. Cannot move his legs or even blink too fast. His throat aches and there's a deep burn in his left side where a sword ate into him. He hears words directed at him, tries to process them but the world have exploded in pain and white noise. He hears nothing but the sound of soft humming in his ears and he recognizes it as his mother's voice –a memory from a previous life.

When the blade goes through his chest, Oliver's vision is drenched in a harsh blinding white. A hot flash of pain sears through his body; dissolves the chill in his muscles until they ache for a completely different reason. He knows that he is dead then.

Knows that there is no going back now.

Forgive and have mercy upon him…

The first person he sees is his father, his eyes sharp and features set in determination. He remembers the sacrifice his father made for him. Remembers the vow he took to honor him. Tastes the I'm sorry at the back of his throat but can't say it out loud.

Excuse him and pardon him…

Make honorable his reception…

His mother hugs him. She is warmth and safety, everything he had not felt in a very long time. My beautiful boy, he hears her say and it makes him want to cry out. He wants her to hum softly until this nightmare goes away.

Protect him from the punishment of the grave…

He was never afraid to die before, not once, but he sees Thea and his heart gives a dull thud of terror. She needs me, he wants to scream at the sky. She needs me. Thea puts her arms around him. It is not fair echoes through his brain.

Then comes a light that outshines that last thought. It grows at the back of his skull and extends gentle fingers of warmth towards the rest of his body. Felicity.

He sees her face the clearest, hears her laugh at a silly pun, and tastes her lips against his own.

And the torment of the fire…

Promise me, she whispers, soft and achingly loving. Promise me.

He sees the last blow more than he feels it, and suddenly he is falling, falling, falling.

Promise me.

His last thought is of light.

A/N: So, first things first, hello lovely people! It's been a while, and I'm truly curious to see if any of you even remembers that I used to write Olicity fics. I feel like I owe you all an apology for being MIA for so long (Left Behind readers are coming for my head) but I just haven't been in an Olicity head-state for a while, and my life have spiraled out of control in the past few months. Hence the radio silence. But enough of that, what did you guys think of the drabble? The episode?

I'd love to hear what you thought and I'm very willing to cry along as well, since I missed you all!

Leave me a review and we can cry together and share our misery. You're also allowed to shout at me for disappearing but, like, be nice please. Anyways, thank you so much for reading! Review?