Disclaimer: I do not own GI Joe. No one with such a cracked mind should...

Duke looked at his watch and wondered what was keeping Hawk, Breaker, and Scarlett. They were the last remaining members of the meeting. The rectangular conference table was full, except the head of the table at the back of the room. Those Joes not lucky enough to have a chair were standing around, talking and joking with those seated, or in Clutch's case, narrowly dodging Cover Girl as she kicked at him for something he had said. It was a small blessing that Flint and Beachhead were not arguing, but that might have had something to do with Beachhead being too busy glaring at Clutch. Speaking of which, Deep Six was in a corner, glaring at everyone for being too loud. At least that is what Duke assumed, anyway.

He took a sip of coffee from his cup and continued looking around the room. Along the wall, near the doorway, Snake Eyes was leaning against the corner, sharpening a knife or something. Duke tried to look closer at it, but couldn't really tell what it was for sure from where he was at. Well, other than sharp, probably pointy, and nothing he wanted to meet the business end of, but that was a given. The three apprentices, scattered among the other Joes, were doing likewise. They were missing Storm Shadow, due to Cobra getting their hands on him once again. Duke frowned at that, rubbing the scar on his forearm he had gotten the last time he had tangled with the ninja. It bothered him that they had to fight one of their own again.

The door opened and Hawk finally walked in, flanked by Breaker and Scarlett. Those seated stood up and everyone came to attention.

"At ease," said Hawk, walking to the other side of the room, the two soldiers following him. Everyone relaxed, and those that could, sat down. Once he was at the clear spot, Hawk put his hands on the table and leaned forward. The soldiers became a little less relaxed at this and gave their full attention to the general.

"We have received word of Cobra's latest plan, which is beyond bizarre, even for them. I will leave that to Breaker and Scarlett to explain, however. Breaker, if you would start please?"

Breaker nodded, popping the bubble he had been blowing, before answering, "Yes sir." Everyone's attention shifted to him.

"We first came across this latest plan during routine tapping of Cobra's phone lines. Apparently, Cobra is planning on killing one 'Father Time'. We assumed it was a code name and began looking into emails and other communications to find out the identity of who they are really after. Failure to find out anything resulted in sending our sneaky friend over there," he said, nodding towards the ninja master, "off for files from some of those locations. That information was handed over to Scarlett and Lady Jaye so they could to work their magic."

Heads turned towards Scarlett as she spoke up, continuing the story. "Everything we have gathered continues to refer to the target as 'Father Time'. There is no name or any other descriptions given. There were blue prints among the files Snake Eyes obtained detailing a device that tracks an energy output 'Father Time' supposedly has. Cobra only recently completed it and hasn't been able to find their target yet. With all of the information we were able to gather, the only conclusion we have been able to reach is that Cobra believes there is a real Father Time and is going to try to kill him."

"Our techs are working on making the device in the blue prints. They should have it completed as soon as they get all the components. In the mean time, I want teams looking up everything on Father Time, interviewing experts, and finding out everything we possibly can. Scarlett has a list of experts, libraries, and team assignments," Hawk interjected.

"Right," said Scarlett, nodding at the general. She had a clipboard with her and started reading off names, marking them off as she did. "Duke, Clutch, and Breaker will go to the Library of Congress. Dusty, Deep Six, and Cover Girl will head to the British Library. Flint, Lady Jaye, and Roadblock will speak to Professor Shimpling at the Harvard University Library."

There were several people snorting after she said that and someone even went so far to say, "Sooo obvious who made these teams up." Lady Jaye glared around the room, but otherwise ignored the comment.

"Spirit, Snow Job, and I will be on the fourth team. Beachhead, Shipwreck, and Ripcord will meet Translator Estella Ortega at the Biblioteca Palafoxiana," Scarlett continued.

"Great, stick meh with the fuckin' jokers," Beachhead grumbled.

"Lowlight, Tunnel Rat, and Stalker will visit two of the local libraries; the New York Public Library and Columbia University Library," Scarlett said, checking off the last team on the list.

"Alright, everyone will meet at the motor pool in one hour for your transportation. Any questions?" asked Hawk.

"Yeah, why not let Cobra chase what is clearly a fairy tale?" asked Snow Job.

Several other Joes grumbled or nodded their heads in agreement. Hawk silently agreed with his soldiers in thinking they were going to end up wasting time, but he was hoping it would provide an opportunity to keep Cobra distracted from doing anything seriously harmful and perhaps a chance to get his ninja back. Having him back would greatly improve the morale of his soldiers, most especially the apprentices. He knew they blamed themselves for his recapture.

"It is Cobra's belief that whoever kills Father Time will inherit his powers. I know it sounds silly and unbelievable, but if there is a chance it is real, we can't let Cobra gain the opportunity. The consequences would be devastating," replied Scarlett.

"That is an order, ladies and gentlemen. I want you all to do your best and bring back any scrap of information you can find. Dismissed," said Hawk. The Joes saluted and started filing out of the room.

Author's Note: I had a dream. An off the wall dream that combined The Major, Batou, and Togusa from Ghost in the Shell with GI Joe and the idea of Legendary characters from The Santa Clause 2. The Major was Mother Nature, Snake Eyes was Cupid, and General Colton was Father Time. I have taken out the GiTS stuff, changed some things, and voilĂ , crack. Thanks to Greentigerr for beta reading.