I often viewed midnight to be my 'me time', where I went into the kitchen and mixed peanut butter and strawberry jelly into a bowl and ate it until I felt like I was going to barf. Shane, on the other hand, caught onto it and then viewed it as serious talk time with Andrea. It was more than unpleasant.
I was mixing up a bowl then, when Shane forced me to doubt myself more than ever before. It was an intense and extremely unwanted feeling, and only a feeling that could be brought on by Shane.
"Can we talk?" he abruptly said, coming out of the shadows of the dinky dining room that got turned into a gathering zone for the group. I turned around to face the man that conflicted my feelings more than when Daryl goes out into the woods alone.
"Yes, Shane," I sighed, setting down the half mixed bowl. I was really starting to get sick of him.
"Since you're the one that most resembles a leader right now, other than me, I need-" he started slowly, almost hesitant. I furrowed my eyebrows and interrupted.
"What about Rick?" I asked suspiciously. Shane shifted his weight uncomfortably and met my gaze.
"That's what this is about. I need your opinion."
"On what?" I asked, placing my hands on the counter in back of me and leaning on them.
"Rick isn't built for this world. I think we should… get rid of him, of sorts," he said quietly, glancing around as if everyone wasn't fast asleep by now.
"You mean, kick him out? Of the group?" I asked with less sass in my tone than I thought would happen.
"Him, Carl, and Lori."
I scoffed. "So, what, you're just gonna say au revoir and leave them at the next stop? Shane, I don't know if you're exactly 'there' right now, but-"
"I'm serious, and I'm not insane about this. Don't act like this is just a split second decision, okay, I have lost sleep over this," Shane snapped, shooting an insinuating finger towards me.
I shook my head severely and took a few steps forward, poking an equally insinuating finger right into his chest.
"I can't believe you're saying this. Ya know what, I don't know if I've changed completely or you have. Back when Rick wasn't even in the group, I was your right hand woman. We agreed on everything. Now, I don't know what's gotten into you," I said harshly, wanting to punch him directly in the face when he shot me one of his glares that sent lightning through my heart.
"Your opinion is clear," he said, defeated, shaking his head as he started walking away. I grabbed his arm tightly before he could go any further.
"You can do what you want, Shane. Just know that the old Shane I knew wouldn't let his best friend and his family's blood be on his hands. Ever," I exclaimed seriously, shooting him the dirtiest looks I've ever managed to stir up. This is saying a ton.
"All I'm saying is that he's a burden to the group," he added softly, clearly hurt by my previous statement. And I didn't care. He deserved it.
"Oh, yeah? Was he a burden when Sophia came outta Hershel's barn and he was the only one that had the courage to shoot her? Was he a burden then? Because I'm pretty sure no one else would have done it."
"That is a whole different situation," Shane growled, becoming intimidatingly close to my face. At this point, smoke was coming out of my ears. If he slapped me just then, I would still probably be shooting my mouth off.
"In fact, now that I think about it, that's about when you started to change for the worst. Did that barn really set you off that bad?"
"No," he put bluntly, tugging from my grip unsuccessfully, "do you really want to know what set me off?"
"Yes, that would be splendid, Shane. I'd love to know the real reason why you almost shot my boyfriends head off. For the second time on the farm."
"Because you!" he exclaimed, harshly pulling away from my grip to romantically grasp my neck. "After you almost shot Daryl in the head, that's when you two started getting too serious."
"I refuse to believe that," I bravely said, tilting my chin. "There's no way you could ever be jealous of me and Daryl."
He laughed and sniffled his nose, glancing into the distance like he usually did when things got icky. "It's a little too late for that."
I shook my head slowly and yanked from his grasp, turning away angrily to face the sink.
"I want you, don't you see that?" he fiercely said, coming up behind me and grabbing my waist. He pulled me closer until he could grab onto his own elbows.
"I wish I didn't," I sighed, holding back tears. Even though I'd pick Daryl over Shane every time, there was something about Shane I couldn't stay away from. It made me want to kill him.
"Daryl… he isn't your type," he said, swaying my hips slightly. I rested my head against his shoulder and let the tears flow. No matter how dominant Shane could get, he could always relax me. Daryl, on the other hand, pumped my adrenaline. Now that I think about it, Daryl felt more like a best friend that I could go out and kill Walkers with. Shane actually reached out to me and-
Oh, god. What. Am. I. Doing.
"Oh, yeah," I chuckled, wiping the tears away and sniffling my nose, "then what is?"
"Powerful. Leading," Shane whispered into my ear, making my heart go a thousand miles an hour, "someone who isn't scared of going against your rule."
I laughed and shook my head. "You just described yourself. People are actually scared of going against me?"
"If they aren't scared, then they fully trust what you say and aren't willing to go against it."
"And you're saying you don't trust me?"
"No, I'm saying that my rule is higher than yours and I call the shots around here," Shane chuckled, "I'm sick of everybody lookin' up to you like you're the head honcho."
"Oh, whatever," I said, opening my eyes and softly hitting his head, "I'm a girls opinion. She looks to me instead of you because I'm of the feminine species."
"Oh, whatever," he mocked, spinning me around to look into my eyes. I gripped his waist like he gripped mine and rose to my tiptoes, leaving a kiss on his lips.
"I don't know what to think, Shane," I exhaled, letting a few more tears trickle down my cheeks before resting my head on his inviting chest.
"Andrea," he whispered, stroking my hair.
"What?" I murmured, miserable that I actually felt that way about Shane. The more I hid my feelings, the more they grew.
"I-," he took a very deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before letting it go. "I think I'm in love with you."
"Oh," I said calmly. I almost even became drowsy before Shane's words actually got to my mind.
My eyes shot open and I jerked away from his chest.
"I… I'm sorry," he said, panic course in his tone. More tears streamed down my face.
"You didn't mean it?" I asked, my voice cracking.
"No, I-I-…" he stuttered, long enough that by the time I spoke, he was still muttering it to himself.
"Shane, I don't know how I feel about you. If Daryl wasn't in the equation, yes, this… this thing I feel for you might be love."
I opened my mouth just as Shane paused. I think at this point, I was five seconds from hyperventilating.
Instead of replying with words (or passing out on the floor), I collided a rough kiss on his lips, getting a hungry reaction from Shane.
He responded with a hand to my lower waist, pulling me even closer as his tongue traced my lower lip.
"Shane," I moaned, planting a kiss on his jawbone as he moved to my neck and placed kisses there. His hands went lower to grip my ass as he sucked on my neck.
"We never fucked that day, did we?" he growled, referring to the day the Walker in the house prevented us from going any further.
"We did not," I happily said, the tears from my eyes dried on my cheeks. I probably looked like a car wreck.
"Do you wanna change that?"
I paused and looked up at him, biting my lip as his eyes looked into mine. "I wouldn't like anything more."
He smiled and raked his fingers backwards through my hair, releasing a moan from my lips as he bent down and brushed his lips on mine. Finally he stopped teasing and furiously kissed me again.
I unzipped his pants first this time, trailing my fingertips up and down his legs before reaching the zipper. As I pulled it down, he bit my lower lip and tugged on it.
"So, we gonna move or are we gonna do it in the kitchen?" Shane laughed, walking backwards as he let go of my waist and grabbed my hand.
He led us to the room he was staying in alone. The only rooms that were shared were between the Grimes' and Daryl and I.
Shane pushed me on his bed, falling on top of me when I wrapped my legs around his.
He pulled my thin purple shirt over my head before pulling his off and throwing them on the ground. I giggled as his warm bare chest leaned against my bare stomach, making my heart flutter as he cupped my cheek and kissed me on the forehead. Just like last time, I pulled on his waistband as a signal to take off his pants.
He licked my stomach before standing up and practically tearing off his belt. Before he got to his pants, he raised an eyebrow and outstretched his hand.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"This is not a I'll show you mine but you never show me yours ordeal," he laughed, lunging forward to grab my arm and pull me up.
Laughs escaped our mouths as we both inched off our pants, standing there awkwardly as we checked each other out.
"Matching panties and bra. I like it," Shane said, biting his lip as I came closer and put my hands on his chest.
"Boxers. I like it," I giggled, reaching up to his neck and wrapping my arms around him.
He lifted me up off the ground, making my legs wrap around his waist as he moved to push me against the wall, squishing us even closer.
I breathed heavily as he went to my breasts, kissing them as I wrapped my fingers around his hair and squeezing hard.
After he was done, he let out a very sexy, animal like growl and came up to my chin, leaving a trail of kisses that led to my lips.
I raked my hands against his chest down to his black, tight fitting boxers, slipping my hand in and gripping his hard shaft. Shivers escaped his mouth, triggering shivers out of mine also.
"Are you sure that love you feel isn't actually lust?" I asked lowly, pulling his boxers far enough down that I could release his cock from the fabric. I pumped it hard until he moaned in pleasure, tilting his head back and looking to the ceiling.
"I've waited so long for this," he said, exhaling roughly and returning to my neck. I don't know how he knew the neck was the part of my body that heated me.
"Oh, yeah," I groaned, "how long?"
I gasped as he tugged on the back of my panties, making it rub against my clit. I moaned and rubbed my chest against his like a cat in heat.
"Since we fucked in the Hyundai," he whispered in my ear, making me even more aroused.
"Well, are you happy now?"
"Beyond," he purred, letting go of my panties and moving us to the bed, slamming me down and standing up. I rose to my knees, intent on sucking the large head that allured me toward it. Instead, Shane pushed my shoulders back and stripped my undies off, also taking his boxers off completely. He extended his cock out with his hand, crouching down on top of me before staring into my eyes.
Shane grew a cocky smile and kissed me on the lips. "What do ya think, babe?"
I laughed and rolled my eyes, moaning as he pressed the head of his dick on me, not quite going in yet.
He teased me by rubbing his length across my clit, receiving fingernails down his back as he finally inserted the head of it into me. He prodded only; waiting until I rose and grabbed his back before he wholly shoved it in. A shrill squeak escaped from my lips as he powerfully thrusted his whole length inside of me at once.
"Fuck," I panted, digging my fingernails in his shoulders as he lunged in and out.
I nuzzled into his shoulder and bit it lightly, moaning every so often as he went harder and deeper.
"God," he muttered, inhaling sharply and resting his forehead on my shoulder.
He pulled out quickly, backing away so he could flip me over. I responded by going on my hands and knees, arching my back as he again inserted his dick.
"Oh shit," I exclaimed as he gripped my waist tightly and went in harder, both of us totally forgetting that everyone else was sleeping. He reached around my chest, still going in and out of me as he grabbed my breasts and started fondling them. As he still thrusted, he pulled my head closer to his, kissing me roughly on the lips, a maneuver that was only possible because I was extremely flexible. Our lips were often pulled apart by moans and gasps. I wondered if my moans sounded as sexy to him as his did to me.
Shane panted as he pulled out again, switching me over. He helped lift me to my knees; letting me do what I wanted to since I first saw his cock.
I wrapped my lips around his red head, sucking on it as I pumped his throbbing shaft. He moaned and purred, pulling my hair and putting his cock deeper into my mouth. I sucked on it until he inhaled sharply through barred teeth, letting go of my hair as I let him pull out. I kept pumping his shaft until he came, sticky warmness dripping down my chest.
"My turn," he said, once again throwing me on the bed. He went south; grazing my abdomen with his tongue before going even lower, stopping at the top of my clit before jerking his head up.
"What? What is it?" I asked, listening for whatever Shane heard. It was footsteps: heavy ones, to be exact. Male, with boots. Problem is, Rick always went around barefoot at night.
"It's Daryl," he whispered and moved off of me in a rush. I also got up and picked up my panties from the floor, making as little noise as possible when I threw it and my pants back on.
"Yo Shane," Daryl said, his voice muted by the door as he knocked on it. "You got a minute?"
"Shit, he knows," I panicked, shaking as I slipped on my tank top.
"No, he doesn't," Shane said calmly, even though he was as shaky as I was. "Just… hide."
"Hide? Are we back in fucking high school!?"
He put his finger to his lips, motioning me aside as he went to the door and opened it. I rushed to the closet and shut the door just in time.
"Hey," Shane said, faking his drowsy tone, "what's up?"
"You know how it's been since me and Andrea returned, right?" Daryl said hesitantly.
"Rough," Shane answered, his voice matching the word.
"Yeah, it's getting pretty serious."
It took a few minutes of pause for Shane to realize what he was talking about.
"Uh, you mean with you and Andrea," Shane asked rhetorically.
"Yeah," Daryl answered. "Can I come in?"
"Uh," Shane stammered, glancing at the closet before opening the door wider, "yeah, yeah. Come in."
It wasn't the first time I heard Daryl say we were getting more serious. No biggie.
"So, I was thinking… oh, before I tell you, do you know where she went?"
Oh, come on, I thought, lie Shane. Please lie.
"She went out for a walk," he quickly spat out, chuckling nonchalantly as Daryl looked at him suspiciously.
"Umm, okay. Well, Uh, I know we've had our fair share of problems together," Daryl paused and looked at Shane as if to make sure he didn't fall asleep. Shane stopped staring down the closet where I stood and paid attention to him.
"Of course," Shane said, becoming either impatient or anxious or a mix of both.
"But I need your help with something."
"What?" Shane asked when Daryl didn't say right away.
"I want to ask Andrea to marry me," Daryl said, toying with the messy blanket.
I was forced to cover my mouth so a bellowing shriek didn't flow out and probably ruin that plan.
Shane started to choke on his spit, clearing his throat and regaining his composure as Daryl looked up at him hopefully. If he were drinking anything, he definitely would have either choked to death or spit it all over Daryl.
I had to restrain myself from bursting out of the closet with my hands in the air saying, "I do!"
"You… you what?" he asked, unbelievingly. His composure was hanging off of his fingertips.
"What, is it a bad idea? I know it's kind of impossible these days but at least we could make it sort of official, right?" Daryl said, the redneck accent he had been trying to hide for months bursting out of him like a jack in the box.
"Yeah, well- uh… yeah."
"Why do you sound so upset?" Daryl asked, getting a shrug from Shane.
"I'm not. Er, congrads. But what do you need my help with?"
"Stop doing whatever you're doing to her," Daryl said seriously, getting up from the bed and becoming close to Shane. He took it as a threat and put his guard up.
"I have no idea what you mean," Shane said, looking down at Daryl, who was only about two inches shorter than him. Which, for the record, was not the situation downstairs.
"I see the way she looks at you, and you look at her back the same way. Yah, I know she thinks you're the hottest thing on the planet or whatever, but stop encouraging her."
Ooh. It took all my willpower not to storm out and punch him straight in the face. Then again, he didn't know what really was going on.
"She does what she wants," Shane angrily hummed, "I'm not influencing her in anyway."
"I don't believe you," Daryl accused, receiving some nasty looks from Shane.
"She hasn't laid a finger on me and in return, neither have I."
A very big lie.
Daryl calmed down and backed away from Shane. He still had that crazy look in his eyes, the kind where you evacuate the room before he shreds your throat out.
"Thanks, man," Daryl said, his voice rough as he nodded, "I needed to hear that from you."
Daryl nodded one more time and exited the room. I waited for his footsteps to become faint before I charged out of the closet, practically toppling over when I reached Shane's arms.
"Oh god," I exhaled, covering my face with my hands.
"Are you saying that because I just told the biggest lie ever or that he wants to marry you?" Shane muttered, cradling me.
"Oh, both," I wined, my voice muted by my hands. "I'm going to sleep."
I abruptly got up from his arms and quietly opened the door, peeking out into the hallway for any signs of a wandering Daryl. None to be found.
"Wait," he called, making me turn and raise my eyebrows.
"Yes?" I said, suddenly feeling intoxicated with tiredness.
"Will we do… this again?"
"I don't know, Shane. I don't know."