Meiko fondly looked over the beautiful castle garden. Roses, tulips, and daisies had all been planted there. She sighed, leaning on the broom she was supposed to sweep with. If only her parents hadn't passed away... Then, she would be the one who owned this beautiful garden.
Meiko began to sing. It was soft, very soft, and very shitty. She looked down to the well in front of the castle. "Dammit!" she swore. "I have to get water!"
Step after step, Meiko descended the annoyingly long staircase. Upon finally reaching ground level, she ran outside with a bucket.
"And stay away, bitch!" A young woman with green hair pushed away a man with purple hair in disgust. The woman rode off on her horse. The purple haired man winced and looked down at his ankle. It was twisted a way that, well, ankles shouldn't twist.
"Oh, shit!" Meiko ran as fast as she could over to the man. She lifted him up with scary superhuman strength and ran towards the castle. "This man is injured!" she screamed. "Can someone help him?"
"Do it yourself, effer!" her bitchy stepmother screamed at her from the top of the staircase. Her stepmother's name was Luka Crazysonofabitch. Meiko sighed, obviously pissed, and brought the man up to her servant's quarters.
"So, what was going on back there with that butthole?" Meiko asked as she inspected his ankle.
"Oh, Gumi..." The man sighed. "She was a butthole- you're right." He laughed a bit.
"By the way, what is your name?" Meiko asked.
"Oh, I'm Prince Gakupo of a kingdom near here."
Meiko froze. Had she really been potty-talking in front of a prince from another kingdom? She took a deep breath and said, "My name is Meiko. I serve the castle of this kingdom."
Gakupo frowned. "Stop that and keep talking rudely. It's better for you."
Meiko tried to ignore her blush. She doesn't fall in love with some random purple freak she just met outside, right?! She wrapped his ankle up and supplied him with a pair of crutches. "Uh, I know they're crappy. Just make do with it, please." Gakupo hobbled out of the room.
"Thank you very much, Meiko." And with that, he left.
Meiko stared at where he had just stood. Could she be falling for this prince?
"Mirror mirror on the wall. Who's the sexiest of them all?"
Luka sexily rubbed her body all over the magical mirror with the face of a wild, naked and afraid Kaito on it. 'I'm the best looking little girl is this whole freaking kingdom.'
"Oh, that broad that lives downstairs."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, YOU LITTLE BIIIIIIITTTTTCCCCCHH?!" Luka screamed. Wild, naked and afraid Kaito had a bored expression on his face as he explained.
"Listen, Luka. I just report who's the sexiest. I don't know how she beat you, okay?! She could've gotten a boob job, she could have gotten plastic surgery, she could have a sexy little baby inside of her right now. How the hell should I know? The only way I can is if you transfer a part of my naked and afraid body into her dinky little mirror. Like my butt. With you I'm a talking head, with her I'm a talking butt. Okay?"
"As tempting as that sounds, no," Luka replied. "I think I'll send a huntsman to kill that little asshole. Sound good, sex machine?"
Kaito made a face. "How would you know if I'm a sex machine if I'm a talking head in a mirror?"
Meiko lay on her bed, flopping around worthlessly. "I'M BORED, DANGIT!" Suddenly, the door burst open.
"HEY Y'ALL SEXY GIRLS!" It was a short blond woman man in a sexy-ass hunter's outfit. "IT'S LEN KAGAMINE, THE 'SPICE!' BOY AND THE SERVANT OF EVIL!" Meiko stared at him.
"...Damn, I can't say I know who you are." Len dramatically fainted, and then slithered up onto Meiko's bed like a sexy snake. She drew away from him, making a disgusted face.
"I was sent to rip your heart out of your body, effer. So, um, I'll be doing that now." Len shoved his hand into Meiko's breast and tried to grasp her heart. However, all he was doing was squeezing her boob.
"Look, just leave me the hell alone." Meiko smacked the Maximum the Hormone wannabe over the head. Once she was sure he would have temporary idiot amnesia, she threw the asshole out her window.
"I NEED TO FEAST ON HER SEXY HEART TO MAKE THE SEXY JUICES OF HER BODY COURSE THROUGH MY VEINS LIKE I'M GETTING HIGH ON A SWEET SUMMER DAY UNDER THE ARTIFICIAL SUN IN THE VOCALOID HOUSE!" bitchy Luka bitchily bitched. "Why didn't you get the heart?!"
"Because she said I could be in her next album if I spared her..." Len said in a goofy tone of voice. Luka facepalmed.
"Just go sing in your room, Len..." Luka sighed. He stumbled off to his room.
Meiko decided to be free and scamper with nature and that shit, so she ran into the woods. In reality, she was running from her mentally unstable stepmother. She ran all the way to this little hut in a clearing in the forest.
She saw the house was a horrible wreck, so she left it that way, although she fixed a pleasant little meal. She flopped into the two little beds in the bedroom.
Miku and Rin got home from work in the mines and went straight to the kitchen.
"HOLY SHIT MIKU! SOMEONE MADE US A STEAK!" Rin shrieked. Miku ran over and shoved her face into it.
"SO GOOD!" she screamed from inside the steak. Rin did a thumbs-up.
After eating, they headed off to bed. "HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HECK MIKU! THERE'S A FEMALE IN OUR BEDS!" Miku blinked at the girl lying in their beds. "WAKE UP, BITCH!" Rin screamed in her ear.
"CRAP!" Meiko fell out of the bed. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" she shrieked. Miku patted her head.
"We LIVE here. But, we'll let you stay because your food is the best shit I've ever eaten," Miku replied. Meiko smiled and patted Miku on the back, causing her to fall over and get a nosebleed.
Then, they danced and were happy and crap!
One day, when Miku and Rin were out at the mines, the wild, naked and afraid Kaito was granted a body and headed out to Meiko's new location. Of course, for special reasons, he was very sexy.
He knocked on the door. "Yeah, wait a sec," Meiko called. She got the door with a bored expression.
"Hey, sexy," Kaito greeted. He slid through the crack in the door like a slinky and grabbed Meiko.
Obviously, Meiko hadn't forgotten about her prince, but she still thought he was a little sexy. "I'm a real idiot..." she muttered as she kissed him.
She suddenly fell to the ground, her eyes closed and hair sprawled out around her. Kaito grinned and got his wild, naked and afraid body back to the queen.
Miku and Rin screamed their heads off when they got home. "HOLY SHIT SHE'S DEAD!" Rin screamed. They sadly picked the body up together and plopped it in their beds.
Together, they carried the beds outside and decorated them with flowers. They sadly mourned their only friend besides their pet rock. "If only I could have her steak one more time..." Miku sighed.
"I wish I could hear her say 'SHIT!' one more time," Rin added.
Gakupo had been riding on his horse in the area, and he found the two girls mourning. He immediately recognized the maid from a long time ago. She was even prettier, and her boobs had grown, as well. He felt a single tear run down his cheek.
"Excuse me," he said to the girls. They looked up curiously. "I was...a close friend. May I, uh, well...kiss her?"
Miku and Rin stared at Gakupo for a long time, until finally saying, "Have fun."
Gakupo knelt and brushed the hair out of Meiko's eyes. He lightly brushed his lips against hers. He raised his head, but she did not awaken. "What the crap?!" he yelled angrily. He kissed her again, this time more passionately.
"That's what I wanted, idiot." Meiko wrapped her arms around Gakupo and they continued to kiss, for a long, long, time. Miku and Rin watched quietly.
After that, Gakupo helped Meiko up. "We'll be going back to the castle now. We have business there." Rin and Miku nodded, and happily waved as they rode into the afternoon sun, because, bitch please! Do you have any idea how many times people use that setting sun shit?!
Gakupo and Meiko burst into Luka's chambers. "TIME TO DIE, BITCH!" Meiko shrieked as she advanced quickly on Luka.
"YOU BIIIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH!" she screamed as she was thrown out the window. Kaito breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank God she's gone..."
Meiko and Gakupo's wedding was spectacular. There was cake and people and shit, and everyone had a great time! Also, Meiko was made queen of the land.
So, they all lived happily ever after!
"THE END, BITCH!" Luka screamed happily.
A/N: Oh, wow... Honestly, that was my first time doing ANYTHING like that on the internet, and I'm pretty freaked out... XD This was written at about 2:00 AM at my grandparents' camp, and I'd say it's okay XD Sorry for only having two dwarves- I ran out of characters and I really didn't know what to do! XD I hope you all enjoyed it!