I refuse to feel guilty for it. In fact, I don't care what anyone thinks about it. It was a one time thing. A summer fling. Teenagers have sex with their friends all the time! I for one am not going to look too deeply into it.

Why are you writing this down? I'd be more comfortable if you didn't. My father pays you to listen, not to write. Well? Okay. It was the summer that was basically nothing's "Scott free". No talking to Scott, no going over to his house, nothing. She was in pain, alright? Being the great friend I am-naturally- I listened.

"I just can't stand it. He just lies and lies!" She cries to me, and I pay attention the best I can, but seriously she's been doing this for half an hour, and I really just want to drink without listening to her cry. So I give her a shot of tequila, and I take one too. Teenage drinking is bad, I know. But what else can you do with a broken heart? Exactly.

"Look," I say. "You have to let go. Occupy your mind with something else." And I swear she looks at me, and I can tell she's really listening and trying and there's this... I don't know... feeling that comes over me. Lust? Drunkenness? So I kiss her, and she kisses me back. I know, it was a shock to me too.

"I can't." She says, and I feel my stomach drop. I look at her, you know, ready to stop... But she doesn't even look sure.

"Why not?" I ask, and she looks at me ready to say something, but something comes on in her head, and she cocks it to the side like she does, and just shrugs and kisses me back. Stop looking at me like that, okay? We're both totally not gay, we were just feeling it, and that was PatrĂ³n.

Anyway, I'm kissing her, and it's amazing, and without thinking, it suddenly becomes something more than that. I push her back, and she's smiling at me like she does, and my heart- Doc my heart- it flips in my chest. It feels so fucking right I can't believe it. And that's when I know I'm in trouble. That's when I know that if we don't stop this could all go to hell. But we don't. She's taking off her shorts, and I'm in my bikini, and I'm pulling off my top and it just goes way too far too fast to stop. You know I never figured Allison to be a top, it's totally cray! She's touching me everywhere and her mouth is on my nipple and its just too much to handle. She's concentrating so hard, and she's got this look on her face like she's trying to stop thinking about him, and I just let her do it. I let her use me to forget about Scott.

Now I see that look on your face, Doctor, and I'll tell you this, they're meant to be together. It's undeniable. But when she's got her fingers in you, it's really going to fuck with that idea. You start to lose your mind and think the impossible is possible. I've never climaxed so hard in my life! Anyway, I get an idea. I kiss down her stomach and down toward her... you know. I liked it, and I never thought I would. But here's the fucked up part. She starts breathing so hard, and I think she's cumming, but she's actually almost crying. So I start to stop, and her hand just grabs onto the back of my head and shoves me back.
"Don't stop." She says, and I swear my heart just broke into five million pieces then and there. I kept going. She came, and I just held her while she cried.

So that happened. We don't talk about it. And you want to know the worst part? I want to do it again.

So, do I just give the co pay to Theresa up at the front? Thanks. Same time next week?